بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Tag: Islam

  • Remaining Steadfast

    Remaining Steadfast

    With the chaos and busyness of everyday life, it’s important for us to remain firm in our faith, to stand strong and upright without wavering in our beliefs. We also must share our Islamic knowledge with others, and regularly engage in conversations about our deen. Doing so strengthens us in our religion, particularly as we remind and support one another in our faith journey.

    Every week we have a chance to listen to a khutbah or to attend a lecture at the masjid or even online, offering us a wonderful opportunity to take those lessons learned and to discuss them with our family and friends. But there are even more rewards to be reaped! We can draw admonitions and learn lessons about what behaviors to avoid and what behaviors to emulate as spelled out in Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) hadith delivered during his last sermon: “All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listened to me directly. Be my witness, O Allah, that I have conveyed your message to your people.”

    When we consider our actions and how we spend our days, we must make sure our time is being well spent. Remember, whatever is done each day is recorded in our life’s record, and we will be accountable for those actions on the Day of Resurrection. Allah SWT says, “The earth will shine with the Light of its Lord, and the Book [of deeds] will be set [in place]. Then, the Prophets and witnesses will be summoned, and matters will be decided between them with justice and they will not be wronged. Each person will be paid in full for their deeds. He [Allah] is fully Aware of what they have done [in this world] (Qur’an 39:69-70).

    Steadfastness

    As we focus on spending our time wisely, performing good deeds and acts of worship, it’s important to remember that we must stay the course of goodness, to remain persistent in these blessed acts done only for the glory of Allah SWT, because doing what is righteous is our greatest honor. Whoever stays firm on performing good deeds, Allah SWT will protect him from destructive sins, and he will be among the first to enter Paradise. Allah SWT says: “Verily, those who say: ‘Our Lord is [only] Allah,’ and thereafter stand firm, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. Such shall be the dwellers of Paradise, abiding therein forever – a reward for what they used to do” (Qur’an 46:13-14).

    Remember that istiqaamah, which translates to uprightness, correctness, integrity, and soundness, has many virtues in this dunya as well as at death and in the Hereafter.

    Allah SWT says, “Indeed, those who declare, ‘Our Lord is Allah [alone],” and then stand firm (to their belief), the angels descend upon them [saying]: “Do not fear and do not stress, instead welcome the good news of the Paradise that you were promised. We are your (protecting) friends in this worldly life and the Hereafter. There you will have whatever your souls desire and whatever you ask for [without any restrictions] as a welcoming gift from the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Qur’an 41:30-32).

    Steadfastness includes all aspects of Islam

    Staying the course of righteousness is a command from Allah SWT to both the believers and to Rasoolullah (pbuh). Allah SWT says, “So be firm as you are commanded and those who turn in repentance [unto Allah] with you and transgress not [Allah’s legal limits]. Verily, He is All-Seer of what you do” (Qur’an 11:112).

    But this command encompasses not just what we should do but also what we shouldn’t, and we must strive to remain steady to observe and abide by all of Allah’s SWT commands and prohibitions. We must do our best to consider the totality of our faith and remember there is blessing in remaining steadfast in faith and in everyday actions. Remember Rasoolullah’s (phuh) answer when Sufyan ibn Abdullah Ath-Thaqafi (RA) asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Tell me something concerning Islam about which I will never ask anyone else.” He said, “Say, ‘I have believed in Allah,’ and then be steadfast” (Muslim).

    When reflecting on this hadith of the Prophet (pbuh), who among the entire Ummah doesn’t say “I believe in God”? But we must ask ourselves, do our actions reflect that belief? Think of some of the customs associated with significant days in our lives like weddings, birthdays, aqeeqahs, and deaths of loved ones. In these moments, are we mixing the haram with the halal, confusing haq (truth) with batil (falsehoods)? Do we indeed have one foot firmly in Islam and the other in Jahiliyah (ignorance)? And when we act in this way, so many of us make excuses upon excuses!

    But Umar (RA) warned of this wayward behavior. He said, “Steadfastness: To remain upright and adhere to commands and prohibitions without evading them like foxes.”

    In fact, Allah SWT himself warned against making excuses when deviating from the straight path, from the Shari’ah, and instead choosing a different path.

    Allah SWT says to Prophet Muhammad, and by extension, to all of us, “We have put you on a clear way of [Our] commandment. So, follow it, and do not follow the desires of those who do not know. They cannot help you against Allah in any way. Indeed, the wrongdoers are helpers of one another, but Allah is the helper of the God-fearing” (Qur’an 45:18-19).

    Here Allah SWT is not only leading believers to the straight path, He also is urging them to be steadfast and to continue on the road of righteousness and encouraging them with the promise of His help.

    After giving His commands and prohibitions, Allah SWT says, These [commandments] are My Path, the straight way. So, follow it and do not follow other ways, as they will cause you to deviate from His Way. This is what He commands you, so perhaps you may become God-fearing” (Qur’an 6:153)

    Steadfastness is linked to the heart and leads to controlling the tongue

    When we think about remaining firm in our faith, we must look to the heart. Consider what Rasoolullah (pbuh), his companions, and leading scholars said about the heart and how its spiritually enduring health and resoluteness is linked to the spiritual health of the rest of the body and the critical role it plays in helping us to remain steadfast. Rasoolullah (pbuh) said: “Verily, in the body is a piece of flesh which, if sound, the entire body is sound, and if corrupt, the entire body is corrupt. Truly, it is the heart” (Muslim).

    Imam ibn Rajab al-Hanbali, a jurist, historian, and leading figure during the 14th century, linked one’s heart and its unwavering focus on monotheism to spiritual success. He said, “The foundation of steadfastness is the steadfastness of the heart upon monotheism.”

    For Abu Bakr (RA), the first caliph after the death of our beloved Prophet (pbuh), istiqaamah meant when the believers did not turn to anyone other than Allah for help. He said steadfastness in the heart is manifest in knowing Allah, fearing Him, respecting Him, revering Him, loving Him, desiring Him, hoping in Him, supplicating to Him, relying on Him in all things, and, finally, turning away from anything other than Allah.

    Imagine the heart is the body’s king and the limbs are its soldiers. If the heart is steadfast in obeying Allah in all things, so too will be the limbs. And if the heart is the body’s king and the limbs are its soldiers, what then is the most important limb of all? The answer is the tongue, because it is the interpreter of the heart, and it expresses what is inside. So, guard your tongue and set your heart on steadfastness to Allah, to obeying all His commands and adhering to all His prohibitions.

  • Circumstances Surrounding the Emergence of the Shia

    Circumstances Surrounding the Emergence of the Shia

    The rulership of the Muslim ummah, or community of believers, has undergone significant transformations throughout the centuries. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was the leader and guide for the emerging Islamic community for twenty-three years, from 610 to 632 CE, before returning to his Lord. He achieved the mission of receiving revelation of the Qur’an, conveying the message of Islam, and calling his people to worship Allah alone. However, his death was a massive test for the believers. After his passing, they were tasked with continuing his legacy and maintaining the stability of the new Islamic state. Since then, there have been disagreements surrounding whose responsibility it was (and is) to lead the general body of Muslims. Two distinct groups emerged from these initial disputes – the Sunnis and Shias – and from the two many subgroups which have endured until modern times.

    The most prominent characteristic of the early Muslim ummah, or community, was its unity in obedience to the teachings of the Prophet (s). In religious matters, they followed what was put forward by the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (s). They respected Prophet Muhammad’s authority, never deviating from the path he paved for them. They had direct access to this fountain of knowledge, were witnesses to the revelation of Qur’anic verses, and fought with him to establish Islam in the Arabian Peninsula.

    Among the closest people to the Prophet, peace be upon him, were his family members, those who lived with him, the first converts from Makkah, and the Ansar or helpers of Madinah. The relationship between the close companions was, at the very least, civil, as they followed a code of conduct defined by the prophetic model. Abdullah ibn Salaam reported that the Prophet said, “O, people, spread peace, feed the hungry, and pray at night when people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise in peace” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi). Spreading peace meant that they respected one another, were generous, and displayed a positive attitude. During times of conflict, they referred to the Prophet (s) for guidance or mediation.

    Throughout the time of Muhammad’s prophethood, the new Muslims were united under the banner of faith. They had to face enemies who were stubbornly opposed to Islam and actively persecuted anyone who followed its message of pure monotheism. There was little room for division – a united front was necessary to defeat all opponents. Back then, the antagonists were mostly polytheists and other non-Muslim groups. Once Makkah was conquered, a general amnesty was granted to the Makkans, and of the most egregious oppressors of the Muslims, a handful were killed, and the others granted pardons. Consequently, many embraced Islam, hoping to benefit from its success.

    After the Death of the Prophet (s)

    Political turmoil within the Muslim community began after the death of the Prophet (s). Some senior companions, including Umar ibn al-Khattab, were stunned and even denied his passing, deduced from the traditional narration in Sahih al-Bukhari where Abu Bakr as-Siddique reprimanded those companions who suggested that the Prophet (s) had not died. He recited to them the following verse from the Qur’an: “Muḥammad is no more than a messenger. Messengers have passed away before him. So, if he were to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all; but Allah will reward the grateful” (3:144). His reminder helped bring the general community of Muslims back to their senses. However, some late converts, especially those outside of Madinah, began to retract their decision to join the Muslims. It may have been due to wavering faith, fear that Islam would lose its stronghold in the region, or both. Nevertheless, the successors of the Prophet (s) would defeat these rebel groups and bring stability back to the ummah.

    There is a hadith attributed to the Prophet Muhammad (s), in which he said:

    “Prophethood will remain amongst you for as long as Allah wishes. Then Allah will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it, and there will be a caliphate upon the prophetic methodology. It will last for as long as Allah wishes it to last, then Allah will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it. Then there will be an abiding dynasty, and it will remain for as long as Allah wishes it to remain. Then Allah will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it. Then there will be tyrannical kingship, and it will remain for as long as Allah wishes it to remain. Then He will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it, and then there will be a caliphate upon the prophetic methodology” (Aḥmad).

    This prediction appears to align with the events after the Prophet’s death until the present day. After his departure came twenty-nine years of rule from 632 to 661 under the “Rightly Guided Caliphs” – Abu Bakr As-Siddique, Umar ibn Al-Khattab, Uthman ibn Affan, and Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with them. All four were early converts. The first three were elder converts related to the Prophet by marriage, while the last was his cousin and son-in-law and the youngest to embrace Islam. Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, is also considered one of the first, if not the first, to embrace Islam from the Prophet’s household. Yet, it was Abu Bakr who took the reins of the community to become the successor of the Prophet (s). After a discussion with a group of Ansar, Umar ibn Al-Khattab and Abu Ubaidah ibn Al-Jarrah, another senior companion, took from Abu Bakr the pledge of allegiance. Thus, he became the Khalifatur Rasulillah – the successor of the Messenger of Allah.

    This decision has proven to be a point of contention among later groups (proto-Shia) who asserted that it was Ali ibn Abi Talib’s sole right to be given the pledge for the khilafah. One piece of evidence which is cited in support of this opinion is the hadith of Ghadir Khum. Regarding the event, it is narrated that the Prophet (s) stood up and addressed the people at a well called Khum between Makkah and Madinah. After praising Allah and delivering a sermon, he said, “If I am a person’s mawla, Ali is also his mawla” (al-Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Sunan ibn Majah).

    There are varying versions of this narration; both Sunni and Shia scholars agree that it is authentic, and that the incident did indeed take place. Nevertheless, there are differences of opinion regarding the context and the meaning of the Prophet’s statement. For example, according to Sunni scholars, the term mawla could mean friend, helper, guardian, ally, etc. For the Shia, the title primarily means “leader.” The Shia would thus argue that Ali ibn Abi Talib, should have become the leader of the believers, just as the Prophet Muhammad (s) was their leader. Through the centuries, scholars have debated whether it was a matter of semantics, as the word has multiple meanings. There are other points of to consider such as why very few people disputed the decision to appoint Abu Bakr As-Siddique as the khalifah after the death of the Prophet if it was evident from the statement by the Prophet that Ali ibn Abi Talib had been named the successor. Indeed, many thousands of companions witnessed this statement and if they understood it as a decree from the Prophet (s), there would have been a major outcry when Abu Bakr was appointed.

    For the Sake of Unity

    John McHugo writes in A Concise History of Sunnis and Shiís, that Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, “only gave way to Abu Bakr for the sake of the unity of the community” (pg. 40). He also mentions that this attitude became a regular pattern of behavior for him because, on other occasions, “he put the harmony of the community before his own interests and ambitions” (pg. 40). Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, was not considered a candidate for the position of khilafah until the death of Umar ibn Al-Khattab, and lost the seat to Uthman ibn Affan. He served only as an advisor under their respective rules. This selfless behavior seems to have set the precedent for some who came after him who chose quietism over fighting for political leadership, individuals such as Imam Hassan ibn Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, and the famed scholar, accepted by both Sunnis and Shias, Jafar Al-Sadiq. Ali ibn Abi Talib’s disengagement with politics would end during the latter part of the reign of Uthman ibn Affan, may Allah be pleased with him, whose political decisions caused the unrest that eventually led to his assassination. The Muslim community witnessed the emergence of the Kharijites and the party of Ali (Shiatul Ali), who supported him against Muawiyyah ibn Abi Sufyan as the legitimate khalifah after Uthman.

    Since then, the ummah has been divided on the grounds of who has more right to its leadership. The death of Muawiyyah, and his naming of his son, Yazid ibn Muawiyyah, to succeed him as ruler, paved the way for the Ummayad dynasty. Other notable epochs in Islamic history stand out with key groups, such as the Fatimids, Ayyubids, Seljuks, and Mamluks, Ottomans, and modern-day Arab states, each claiming to be on the path of truth. Each of these has had its distinctive qualities and followed varying schools of thought and methodologies. Some of the most notable of the Shia political powers were the Fatimids, Buyids, Hamdanids, and Safavids. As for their beliefs, these evolved over time; different groups broke into sects, some believing that only Ali ibn Abi Talib was the imam but did not dispute anyone after that point. Other groups included Al-Hassan, Al-Husayn, and Muhammad ibn Ali (Al-Haniffiyah) in the line of leadership. Some continued down the lineage of imamate through Imam Jafar As-Sadiq (Ismailis), while the most prominent group, the Twelvers, await the return of the twelfth imam, Muḥammad ibn al-Ḥasan, whom they consider to be the awaited Mahdi. These various categorizations did not exist among the early Shia. According to McHugo, there may not have been a clear distinction between the Sunni and Shia during the time of Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (p. 105).

    Over fourteen centuries have passed since the death of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, yet the Islamic world is still debating about who was the rightful heir to the leadership after his time. There are two distinct arguments, each with its compelling evidence, but ultimately the truth is with Allah. Rather than be divided, both sides must strive for peace, following the example of Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, who dedicated his life to uphold it.

  • Character Building: The Essence of a Believer

    Character Building: The Essence of a Believer

    All praises are for Allah, Lord of all that exists; and peace and blessings of Allah be on His final messenger and his household.

    Character is the solid foundation of a believer upon which both iman and amal (faith and practice) are based. It is what defines an individual and differentiates him or her from others. Character is that which will determine true success both in this world and the next as it will be among the heavyweight factors of positive value on the scales on the Day of Judgment.

    In a sound hadith of al-Tirmidhii, Abu Darda (r) reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Nothing is heavier upon the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the vulgar and obscene.” Jabir ibn Samurah (r) reported that the messenger of Allah (s), said, “Verily, obscenity and immorality are not part of Islam. Verily, the best people in Islam are those with the best character” (Aḥmad – sahih).

    In fact, the one who possesses good character will be in the company of Rasoolullah (s) on the Day of Judgment. Abdullah ibn Amr (r) reported that the messenger of Allah said, “Shall I tell you about the most beloved to me and the closest to my assembly on the Day of Resurrection? Those with the best character” (Musnad Aḥmad), and it is a sound hadith.

    On the other hand, those with evil character will be furthest away from Rasoolullah (s) on the Day of Judgment. Jabir ibn Abdullah (r) reported that the messenger of Allah (s) said, “Verily, the most beloved and nearest to my gathering on the Day of Resurrection are those of you with the best character. Verily, the most reprehensible of you to me and the furthest from my gathering on the Day of Resurrection will be the pompous, the extravagant, and the arrogant” (al-Tirmidhī – sahih).

    It is interesting to note that noble qualities tend to connect with one another and are inter-related. Someone who is sincere, and kind would most likely be honest, respectful, and just — or at least would strive to embody those virtues. This becomes a lifelong quest, aiming for excellence of character. The opposite is also true. A bad quality tends to pave the way for other bad qualities until such person is characterized by ignoble qualities. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (r) reported that the messenger of Allah said, “You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as truthful. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar” (Muslim).

    Imaam Shafe’i, the great Muslim scholar, wrote in a couplet: “Many people have died, but their generosity lives on; And many are alive, but they are just as good as dead.” So, on whom must one model his character? Certainly not those who are void of morals but the one whose role was to perfect human character. He is none other than Muhammad (s). He has been sent by Allah SWT with many responsibilities, among which is as a teacher perfecting noble character. In a famous hadith, he (s) said, “I have been sent to perfect good character.” Allah SWT confirmed that by telling us in the Qur’an, “…You are not, [O Muhammad], by the favor of your Lord, a madman. And indeed, for you is a reward uninterrupted. And indeed, you are of a great moral character…” (68:2-5).

    Out of the Darkness and into the Light

    The result of the Prophet’s teaching should be evident to all of humanity. He (s) lived in a society where people would bury their female babies alive, out of societal shame. There was no sense of justice. They supported their tribe whether right or wrong. The strong took advantage of the weak and the rich exploited the poor.

    He (s) brought them out from the darkness of ignorance into the light of Islam. The sahabah (r), as they proved themselves, have stood out as the unique generation. They took on the responsibility of extending the influence of Islam out into the world and demonstrating the commitment to excellent character as taught by the Prophet (s).

    Just take the case of the second Khaliph Umar (r). Before converting to Islam, Umar (r) opposed the Prophet’s message and even threatened to kill him (s). He was adamant and cruel in opposing the messenger of Allah and very prominent in persecuting Muslims. But once he converted to Islam, he made a complete change in his life to the point that he was given the title of al-farouk, the one who distinguishes between right and wrong. He would often say, “Who is Umar without Islam?” Before Islam, his ignoble character would have taken him to eternal destruction. He now is in the company of the noblest of human beings.

    After the passing of Rasoolullah (s), the sahabah (r) too began to liberate men from the bonds of the darkness of jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance; unbelief) into the light of Islam. This historical achievement was the mark of a unique generation, the generation that Prophet Muhammad raised by instilling in them good and noble character. The Prophet (s) affirmed this when he said, “The best people are those of my generation, and then those who will come after them [the next generation], and then those who will come after them; and then after them, there will come people whose witness will precede their oaths, and whose oaths will precede their witness” (al-Bukhari).

    Developing and Strengthening Character

    The good news is that each individual has the potential to develop and strengthen his or her character, whatever their current status or nature — their personality traits and their moral and ethical qualities. One can develop qualities such as honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, compassion, sincerity, kindness and much more, as long as one strives on a daily basis with self-awareness and devotion. Indeed, these noble qualities combined together sum up a noble character and make one a true believer in Allah SWT and a great asset in society. Hasan Al-Basri, may Allah have mercy on him, in his book Jāmi’ Bayān al-‘Ilm, said: “Verily, from the character of the believer is strength in religion, determination with leniency, faith with certainty, eagerness for knowledge, sympathy with understanding, moderation in worship, mercy with effort, giving to those who ask, not wronging the one he hates, not sinning over the one he loves, dignified in turmoil, grateful in ease, content with what he has, speaking to impart understanding, being silent out of caution, and affirming the truth as a witness over him.”

    Usamah ibn Shareek reported, “I witnessed the Bedouins ask the Prophet, ‘O messenger of Allah, what is the best thing a servant may be given?’ The messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, ‘Good character’” (Sunan Ibn Mājah – sahih). One can begin in his own home. Abu Huraira (r) reported that the messenger of Allah (s) said, “The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the most excellent character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women” (al-Tirmidhi — sahih). A similar hadith was narrated by Aisha (r) with a slight variation. The messenger of Allah said, “Verily, the most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character and who are most kind to their families” (al- Tirmidhi – sahih).No doubt good character raises one’s status, as if he has done major acts of worship. Aisha (r) reported that the messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the believer may reach through his good character the status of one who regularly fasts and prays at night” (Sunan Abi Dawud – sahih).

    In conclusion, seeking good character by our daily efforts should be joined with making sincere du’a to Allah SWT, as Rasoolullah (s) has guided us to do. Jabir ibn Abdullah reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, used to make this du’a: “O Allah, guide me to the best deeds and the best character, for no one guides to the best of them but you. Protect me from evil deeds and evil character, for no one protects from the evil of them but you.”

    O Allah, I ask you to grant us health, good character, and contentment with qadr. Ameen!

  • Mercy for a Suffering World: The Islamic Model

    Mercy for a Suffering World: The Islamic Model

    In the Islamic faith, there is one phrase that is recited more frequently than any other. It begins every chapter of the Quran except for one. It is the opening for every prayer and the invocation that begins each action — whether it is eating and drinking, facing the most difficult of challenges, or starting the most mundane and routine of tasks. This phrase is “bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem,” a few short but powerful words so often recited habitually, routinely, and ritually, but, nonetheless, a phrase that conveys one of the most beautiful expressions of faith: in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate.

    The mercy of Allah (SWT) is captured in this awe-inspiring phrase with which we are commanded to begin so many actions in our lives. The reminder that our Lord is the most Merciful and the one who is truly filled with compassion is meant to be on our minds, on our tongues, and always in our hearts. The question plagues us as to why something difficult must befall us or another human being, when we are in the midst of suffering or see the suffering of others. The most critical pivot in those moments is to return to the words of Allah (SWT) and the reminder that is not meant to be far from our thoughts. For in the recognition of a most Merciful and Compassionate God exists the answers that we are so often seeking. Encompassed within His rahmah (mercy) is an implicit promise that whatever befalls us in this dunya, it is meant to be, and is, a blessing for us, even as we experience the test. As the one who has created us, we understand that He is closer to us than a mother is to her child. We are reminded in an authentic Sahih Muslim hadith that “Verily, Allah has one hundred portions of mercy. From one portion, the creation has been given mercy between themselves, and ninety-nine portions are reserved for the Day of Resurrection.”

    The Mercy of Allah (SWT) Is So Much Greater

    Imagine knowing that here on earth, the acts of kindness and mercy we see and engage in, such as feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, donating to charities, taking care of our families, and so much more, are just a tiny portion of Allah’s mercy towards His creation. In the beautiful narration of a situation witnessed by Aisha (RA), we see the mercy of a mother to her children and are in amazement of the fact that the mercy of Allah (SWT) is so much greater than that. “A woman entered, upon Aisha, with her two daughters, and she [Aisha] gave her three dates. [The woman] gave each of her daughters a date, then she split the last one between them. She [Aisha] said, ‘Then the Prophet (pbuh) came and I told him about that.’ He said,’ Why are you surprised? She will enter Paradise because of that.’” Although the mother herself was hungry, knowing that her daughters were also hungry, she willingly gave them the dates in an act of caring and compassion. We see glimpses of such mercy in humanity on a regular basis.

    The infinitely greater mercy of Allah (SWT) can be understood in the examples of His rahmah in forgiving our sins and in rewarding us for our repentance. We are reminded of the beautiful verse in the Quran which commands us to never despair of the mercy of Allah: “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful’” (39:53). When we give in to despair, it becomes easy to fall into a depression that questions the mercy of our Creator. If we find ourselves in this dark place, then it becomes very difficult to hold onto the hope of relief through repentance and forgiveness, and we may turn away from Allah. Yet, it is He who is Most Merciful and Most Compassionate, and in the darkest hour, we need the connection with our Creator the most.

    The Man Who Killed 100

    There is a hadith that beautifully illustrates the immeasurable mercy of Allah (SWT). Abu Said Al-Khudri (RA) reported that the Prophet said, “There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He [the monk] replied in the negative and the man killed him also, completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He [the scholar] replied in the affirmative and asked, `Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there are people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah; join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.’

    So, he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him, and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, ‘This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,’ and the angels of punishment argued, ‘He never did a virtuous deed in his life.’ Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, `Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.’ They measured and found him closer to the land [of piety] where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul” (Bukhari and Muslim). It is purely from the mercy of Allah (SWT) that his intention to do good was known and that the weight of that intention, by the measure of Allah’s compassion, carried him away from his past wrongdoings and towards mercy and forgiveness.

    In fact, rahmah comes from the same root in Arabic as rahm (womb). In a hadith qudsi, Allah SWT says, “I am al-Raḥman and created the rahm – and I named it after Me” (Ahmad). We know that the bond of the mother to her child is profound, and the love, kindness, and compassion she feels is sublime and awe-inspiring. Yet, the merciful Lord cares for those He has created more than a mother cares for her child, His rahmah so great and all-encompassing that it cannot be conceived fully by the human mind or experience.

    Prophet Muhammad: A Mercy to the Worlds

    The story of the first humans created, Adam and Eve, is also a story of repentance and rahmah and lays the foundation for our understanding of what it means to seek forgiveness and to always maintain our hope that despite our frailties and wrongdoings, that when we sincerely repent, Allah (SWT) will forgive us. The story of Adam and Eve is a lesson about repentance and forgiveness, and the centrality of rahmah in the design of life by Allah SWT. Extending that theme, the world was also sent Muhammad (pbuh) as a mercy for all mankind. We are reminded of this in the Quran: “Indeed, in this [Quran] is message for a worshiping people. And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds” (21:106-107).

    The mercy of the Prophet (pbuh) is evident in his actions with both those closest to him in his own family and those who were harshest with him from among the disbelievers. From being pelted with garbage and harassed in the streets, to being constantly cursed and belittled by the leaders of Quraysh, the Prophet (pbuh) never swayed from his mission to worship Allah (SWT) and to spread the message of Islam with mercy and compassion. There are many hadiths that document the demonstration of love, kindness, and mercy in the actions of the Prophet (pbuh). In Sunan Ibn Majah, Aisha (RA) narrated, “Some Bedouin people came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He said, ‘Yes’. They said, ‘But we, by Allah, never kiss [our children]’. The Prophet (pbuh) said, ‘What can I do if Allah has taken away mercy from you?’”

    Being merciful for the sake of Allah (SWT) includes actions that show genuine caring about the well-being of others. In a hadith, we are told the Prophet said, “…removing a harmful thing from the path is a charitable act” (Bukhari and Muslim). Such a simple act, removing a harmful item from the path of another, is a beneficial act of mercy for all, not in any way self-serving. In many situations where others may have reacted harshly, we again see the Prophet (pbuh) exhibiting the utmost rahmah. Anas bin Malik narrated, as recorded in Sahih Bukhari and Muslim, the following: “While we were in the Mosque with the Messenger of Allah, a Bedouin came and stood urinating in the Mosque. The companions of the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Stop it! Stop it!’ and were about to attack him. But the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Do not interrupt him; leave him alone.’ So, they left him until he had finished urinating, then the Messenger of Allah called him and said to him, ‘In these Mosques it is not right to do anything like urinating or defecating; they are only for remembering Allah, praying and reading Quran,’ or words to that effect. Then he commanded a man who was there to bring a bucket of water and throw it over [the urine], and he did so.”

    Recognizing that the Bedouin did not know any better, the Prophet (pbuh) showed him compassion and tolerance in response to his action in the masjid. Today, we often see things that are much less offensive in our masajid and yet we react with less tolerance and compassion. Such intolerant, condemning reactions only serve to alienate the person and make him defensive. The beauty of a merciful act and a merciful word can also be seen in the way the Prophet (pbuh) responded to the people of Taif who had treated him so badly and caused him great physical harm. When Jibreel (AS) told him Allah (SWT) could command the angels of the mountains surrounding Taif to crush the people therein as a punishment for their actions, the Prophet (pbuh) said “no” because he maintained hope that some of the offspring of the people of Taif would believe. And his hope was borne out and his rahmah was rewarded in seeing that day when the children of Taif and the grandchildren of Taif accepted Islam and became among the staunchest believers.

    Allah (SWT) Ordains that We Extend Mercy to Those on Earth

    While we may be well-acquainted with the narrations of the seerah and able to easily recognize the rahmah of the Prophet (pbuh) and the signs and manifestations of the rahmah of Allah (SWT) all around us, it can be difficult to consistently extend acts of mercy to those around us. When we view someone suffering today, often if the suffering feels very far away, we throw some money at the problem and hope that it will help in some way. But, truly living in a way that demonstrates caring, kindness, tolerance, and compassion requires that we take action, extending kindness also to those who are not of our own families or communities. In the reminder of the oft-repeated phrase that began this article, there exists a recognition that no matter what we experience in this dunya, there is a Merciful Lord who wants us to return to Him and who will see us through our most difficult trials. But in the midst of our lowest moments, it is also our own mercy, towards ourselves and others, that must lift us up and bring us closer to our Creator. To truly be a mercy, we must live according to the phrase “bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem,” and we must deepen our gratefulness to the most Merciful Creator; and we must celebrate His praises with “al-hamdulillahi Rabb il-alameen (praise be to God, Lord of the worlds).

    Let us always remember what the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the one in the heavens will have mercy upon you” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi).

  • El Islam, siempre presente en mi vida

    El Islam, siempre presente en mi vida

    Cuando era niño me gustaba sentarme en la orilla del mar y ver a los barcos pasar por Hatillo, Puerto Rico. Estaba tan fascinado con los navegantes de los océanos: los delfines, tiburones, tortugas marinas y esos enormes barcos que transportaban carga a todas las diferentes partes del mundo. No importaba a dónde fuera en Puerto Rico, siempre estábamos rodeados de agua. Una de mis primeras experiencias en un barco fue cuando viaje en La Lancha de Cataño desde el Viejo San Juan a Cataño y de regreso. Alhamdulillah, llegué a amar el mar y todo lo relacionado con él.

    Viajar por el mundo era uno de mis grandes sueños. A mi temprana edad estaba consciente de Dios, y sabía que Él había creado toda esta belleza que nos rodea, y quería verla con mis propios ojos en lugar de leer sobre ella en los libros. Entonces, un día viajé por primera vez a Europa. Puede visitar Inglaterra, Francia y España. Me tomó una eternidad ahorrar para ese viaje de seis meses. Sin embargo, a pesar del costo del viaje, pude quedarme con mis hermanos musulmanes o encontrar alojamiento económico.

    Mi tío, que era marinero mercante, viajaba por todo el mundo, y yo escuchaba de sus aventuras cuando venía de visita. Mi imaginación me transportaba a nuevos mundos mientras él describía los muchos lugares, paisajes, personas y culturas que había conocido. Un día, al fin, mi tío me preguntó si quería ser marino mercante y ver el mundo igual que él. Sin pensarlo dos veces, aproveché la oportunidad de ir al mar. Obtuve los papeles de marinero y mi primer viaje oficial fue a Cerdeña, Italia. Desde allá, navegamos por todo el mar Mediterráneo, y aunque mi trabajo era un puesto de nivel de entrada, disfrutaba cada minuto.

    Después de mi entrenamiento como marinero mercante, tuve la oportunidad de conducir súper petroleros. Me encantaba mi trabajo a nivel profesional, y tenía la libertad de orar cuando lo necesitaba y de comer de acuerdo con mi dieta islámica. Podía trabajar en cualquier lugar como marino mercante estadounidense, y muchas compañías solían volarme por todo el mundo durante mis años en el mar. Como miembro de S.I.U. (Seafarers International Union), mis derechos como marinero mercante estaban protegidos, y nadie me daba problemas por mi religión mientras estaba en el mar.

    A pesar de las experiencias positivas como marinero, mi vida ha sido difícil. Sin embargo, pude mantenerme enfocado en mis sueños y hacer todo lo posible para lograrlos porque siempre fueron parte de mi vida. Siento que el Islam también estuvo presente en mis juventud, a pesar de que no lo había conocido formalmente en ese tiempo. Cuando llegó a mi vida después de escuchar la Surah Al-Ikhlas, el capítulo de la sinceridad en el Corán, me di cuenta de que no hay nadie ni nada que merece ser adorado sino Alá. Me hice musulmán tres días después. El propósito de escribir un libro sobre mi vida, al que he llamado “De Harlem a La Meca”, es motivar a los hermanos y hermanas jóvenes que han tenido vidas difíciles para que nunca pierdan la esperanza.

    Ser puertorriqueño y musulmán siempre ha sido algo que me enorgullece. Como marinero mercante a bordo de un barco, tenía mi propia habitación privada con mi ducha privada y no tenía problemas para realizar oraciones diarias o cumplir con otras obligaciones religiosas. Me mantuve alejado de las zonas de guerra, especialmente en el Medio Oriente. En mi último viaje, el capitán me llamó a su lado y me pidió que llevara a un grupo de musulmanes puertorriqueños a Kuwait. La misión tomaría un mes. Se trataba de recoger la carga, transportar a los puertorriqueños y hacerlos sentir bienvenidos. Teníamos alojamientos hermosos para ellos y después de un día en el mar, insistieron en cocinar platos puertorriqueños. Una vez que obtuvimos la aprobación del capitán, nuestros invitados se convirtieron en cocineros durante tres semanas. ¡La comida era deliciosa! ¡Incluso habían traído plátanos! También pudimos hacer algunas paradas en Grecia y Ciprés para pasear un rato.

    Creo que he cumplido muchos de mis sueños, con mucho esfuerzo y dedicación. Realmente siento que soy parte de una comunidad, con toda mi familia latina musulmana y mi familia musulmana alrededor del mundo entero. En Estados Unidos, la comunidad latina musulmana está haciendo un excelente trabajo en propagar el mensaje del Islam en inglés y español. Que Alá los bendiga a todos. Sin embargo, todavía tenemos un gran trabajo por delante y agradecemos a Alá por todos nuestros hermanos y hermanas que pueden contribuir a este trabajo para traer paz y consuelo a la humanidad. Nos preocupamos profundamente por la humanidad y el bienestar de las personas dentro de nuestras comunidades en Estados Unidos y a nivel mundial. Debemos permanecer dedicados y dejar que la ayuda de Alá aumente nuestros esfuerzos. Y que Su misericordia descienda sobre los hombres, las mujeres y niños en todas partes.

    Yusef Maisonet es un musulmán latino que ha viajado por el mundo como marino mercante. Nació en la ciudad de Nueva York y visitó Europa, África, el Pacífico, Medio Oriente y más, mientras aprendía de las vibrantes y diversas comunidades musulmanas que viven allí.

    Ha servido como imán durante 12 años en Mobile, Alabama. También es capellán de los condenados a muerte y de la población carcelaria en general en Alabama. Trabaja activamente con la comunidad musulmana latina en su enfoque para difundir este hermoso mensaje del Islam. Pueden obtener su libro “De Harlem a La Meca” por Amazon.

  • My Journey to Islam

    My Journey to Islam

    I grew up in Winston-Salem, but most of my extended family is from Macall, South Carolina, and Richmond County, Scotland County, and Robeson County in North Carolina. My earliest memory as a child was when I was about four years old. A little white boy, dressed in a cowboy getup, took a big heavy stone and smashed it on my head because I was an Indian. He was older than me, maybe eight or nine years old. Another childhood memory is when I was in the cub scouts. There was a boy who was mad at me because I was an Indian, so he spat in my face. He did this in the church where we were meeting. My mother was very upset about it because the boy’s parents didn’t intervene and none of the adults did anything. His spitting in my face didn’t hurt me as much as seeing how much it upset my mother. She was crying and sped out of the parking lot spinning tires. Then, in middle school, whenever I put Native American on my documents, my teacher would tell me to put White because I would get more opportunities. But, my mother raised me to be proud that I am Indian.
    I use various names in reference to indigenous people depending on the context of the conversation. I prefer Pee Dee because that’s the name of my tribe. But, when my family is talking, we use Indian as a generic term. That’s what we have always used. I like the name First Americans. First Nations is usually in reference to tribes from Canada. Native, indigenous, and Indian are all acceptable names. It’s just a matter of context. My native blood is Pee Dee because my mother is registered as a Pee Dee Indian, but we have other blood as well, including Lumbee, Mansamon, Wakamaw, and Tuscarora. There are so many different tribes in North Carolina. The reason why there is so much mixed blood in my family in North Carolina is because this is one of the places where the English first came in contact with Natives. The English went to war with several tribes and had so many tribes fighting one another. So many died from disease and war. What was left were remnants of tribes. These remnants of people from my family came together in Bladen County, North Carolina and Marlboro County, South Carolina. This is where the Lumbee and Pee Dee Indian tribes are located today.

    Finding Islam

    I embraced Islam in 1990. How I came to Islam is a lengthy story. When I was a child, I was not very religious, but I believed in God. I had the idea there was truth to be found in the Bible, I believed in the Prophets, and I attended church. One day, I was imitating how holy roller preachers deliver their sermons. Then all of a sudden, the sky became dark and I began to feel a deep apprehension about what I was doing. I always had the question whether I was supposed to be worshipping God alone or Jesus. When I was in middle school, we had a substitute teacher who taught us about different religions. When he talked about Islam, he showed us how to make salaat (prayer). That day after school, I went home and looked up his number in the telephone book because I wanted to be Muslim, even though I was young, in seventh grade. I ended up not calling him. I guess I was worried about what my mother would think. Years later when I was in high school, I was a big fan of rap music. Alhamdulillah (all praise is due to Allah), back then rap music was more conscious. Some rap artists even talked about Islam. I remember there was one group who said something about accepting Islam as the truth. I knew that Islam was the truth. I knew that in my heart. I would be at home at night and I would have private conversations with God (that is how I described it at the time). I would ask God whether I should worship Him or worship Jesus. This question was addressed to God, not to Jesus. I have never prayed to Jesus in my life. Those rappers saying that Islam was the truth caused me to go out and search. I began going to the public library. I started at my school library which had one or two books on Islam. Then I went to the public library and they too had very few books. None of the books answered my questions about Islam. Fortunately, one of my teachers at school, Fleming El-Amin, was a Muslim, a man who I greatly respected. During the summer of 1990, we had a college preparatory program at Winston-Salem State University. Mr. El-Amin was one of the teachers and he let me borrow his Quran. Another Muslim brother, Husayn Abdur Rafi, gave me literature to read about Islam. The Quran and the other literature answered some of my questions. I then started going to the masjid and speaking with the Imam. Soon after that, I was convinced of the truth of Islam, so I declared my shahadah (declaration of faith).

    When I became Muslim, I was treated differently by my mother, an Indian Christian. She asked me, “How are you going to be Muslim and be Indian at the same time?” I asked her that since she was an Indian and Christian, why would my being an Indian and Muslim be a problem. I was asked the same question my mother had asked me by the chief of my tribe, a Christian preacher. His daughter told him that he couldn’t discriminate against me because I was a Muslim, that I was still Indian. Many Indians look at someone being Indian and Muslim as unacceptable, as a contradiction in terms. I first realized there were other Indians who were Muslims when I read a Message International magazine article online in 1996, “Digging for the Red Roots.” But I couldn’t find other Native Muslims until I ran across a Yahoo chat group online in 2001. The group was run by a Muslim Native who worked with Islamic Relief. There were more non-Native Muslims in the group than Native Muslims. The non-Natives were very open to the Native Muslims and interested in their stories of finding Islam.

    Indian Muslims in the U.S. Today

    Indian Muslims today in the United States are still relatively few, and a greater number are found in Canada. In Mexico, there are many persons of Native descent who have become Muslims. The group (http://turtleisland.muslims.tripod.com) that we have now, Turtle Island Muslims (Turtle Island is a Native American term for the North American continent), is a mix of Muslim and non-Muslim Natives and non-Natives who are Muslim or non-Muslim. There are approximately 160 people in the group, with around 30 Natives. We discuss everything related to Islam and Natives. The purpose of the group is to introduce Natives to Islam and Muslims to Natives, to have an open and welcoming space where everybody is free to participate.
    Information about the history of Natives in Islam is relatively obscure. You hear about things like Abu Bakari II from Mali coming to the Americas in 1300, and Sheikh Abdullah Hakim Quick has written about Muslims in the Americas long before European explorers. These little tidbits are about all that we get and there is not much that we can connect to specific tribes. It was interesting when I did my own family genealogy. I knew about Frances Drake dropping Muslims off on an island off the coast of the Carolinas. These were African and Arab Muslims who were never picked up or accounted for. If those who were abandoned followed the river inland, they would have ended up right where my tribe, Pee Dee Indians, was located. I have heard of a Muslim genealogist who is able to connect members of my tribe to the Melungeon in Tennessee. I, myself, have African blood and Arab blood. I have been able to connect one Muslim ancestor to my family. This goes back to 1630, to a Muslim, Sayyan Lovina. His wife was Native, and her name was Jean Tucker. Professor N. Brent Kennedy did a lot of research on the Melungeon and Sayyan Lovina, who was known as Sayyan the Turk. He was sold as a slave by the Portuguese. Sayyan was so highly respected that he was allowed to be a witness to contracts even though he was a slave. He eventually won his freedom. When I became Muslim, I thought that perhaps I had Muslim ancestors. It was just a feeling that I had. Maybe these Muslims ancestors prayed like Prophet Yacub (Jacob) that their progeny be Muslim. I used to think about these things even though I didn’t expect to be able to connect myself to a Muslim ancestor.

    One of the things I find is that many Muslims believe that all Indians believe in the Great Spirit and share the same language and culture. What they don’t realize is that these are very distinct nations. In North Carolina there were tribes living side by side who spoke different languages and couldn’t understand each other. The Indian culture was very diverse. In modern times, we basically share American culture, giving us many more commonalities. But, when it comes to our Native culture, it is much more distinct.

    Dawah Outreach to the Indigenous Peoples

    There have been Islamic organizations who have tried to help Natives in this country, Islamic Relief being one such organization. ICNA was active in helping the Natives at Standing Rock. I wish that there were more dawah to Natives. But, at the same time, there are over 200 tribes across the U.S. Some of these tribes are federally recognized while others are recognized only by the state they are located in, if at all. We also have a lot of urban Indians. The people on the Red Butte Sioux reservation in South Dakota have a difficult time in their lives. When you hear about the poverty that they endure, it is easy to recognize that they need our help.
    Dawah is desperately needed in the Native communities. In fact, many Natives live in rural and isolated areas where they may never encounter a Muslim. Many Natives that I know became Muslim because of their interaction with Muslims. Without that interaction with Muslims, they know nothing about Islam and are cut off from such a profound blessing.

  • Detecting Early Signs of Risk in Our Youth

    Detecting Early Signs of Risk in Our Youth

    Young children and teens today are bombarded from all around them via fellow peers, enticing ads, music, movies, and more, all calling them to engage in harmful behaviors. They are told to do whatever will make them “happy” or “fulfilled,” messages that turn them away from modesty, decency, common sense, and wisdom. It is essential that we, as community leaders, parents, educators, and medical and mental health professionals be aware of the constant struggle that is faced by today’s youth. We must not dismiss or deny signs of risky behavior, or believe that our youth are immune to such things as alcohol or drug use, or becoming sexually active.

    My question to the parents is always “What prevented you from seeking help when you started noticing a change in your child’s behavior?”

    We must also learn to recognize the warning signs and take action right away before things progressively become worse. In order to understand the struggle, we must first take a look at what could lead to psychological, spiritual, and/or social decline in our youth and what we can do to prevent that. Although these three categories are intertwined and influence one another, we will look at them separately to more deeply understand the impact of each.

    Psychological

    In her recent article, 12 Warning Signs Your Child May Have a Mental Health Issue, Dr. Susan Newman discusses “parent radar,” an essential tool all parents have that can help them discern if there is a psychological issue to be dealt with. The parent radar is the innate sense that something is not right with your child even though others may be telling you that it is a phase or a stage and the child will grow out of it. It is the feeling deep down that the mood swings, aggressive behavior, or overeating are not just part of growing up and learning how to cope with and navigate the complexities of life, but are a result of a deeper issue the child is dealing with. Trusting that feeling is essential because ignoring it could lead to dire consequences. When there is a feeling that something is just not right, it is time to seek help to rule out any mental health issues the child may be struggling with. Ignoring the feeling and hoping the issue will go away is where many parents go wrong. The issue will only increase in intensity and will become that much more difficult to resolve.

    I often have parents come into my office with a child who is being disruptive or disrespectful to the parent, a child who is failing in school, a girl who is being aggressive with her siblings, or a boy who has become withdrawn and non-communicative with family members. When I ask how long this has been going on, they typically answer: a few months, over a year, or sometimes a few years. My question to the parents is always “What prevented you from seeking help when you started noticing a change in your child’s behavior?” The answer is not always the same, but most often it is: “We didn’t think it was a big deal” or “We thought it would go away on its own.”

    It is essential to reach out for help when any warning signs present themselves. Ann Douglas, author of Parenting Through the Storm: Find Help, Hope, and Strength When Your Child Has Psychological Problems, discusses the warning signs to look out for. A few of these are frequent mood swings; display of intense emotions such as angry outbursts or extreme fear; difficulty sleeping or having nightmares; a lot of physical complaints. These are just a few of the many warning signs in children that may indicate that a psychological component is playing a part. It is important to be aware of the fact that any significant, extreme, or negative change in your child’s normal mood or behavior should be looked into. As parents, we must keep the communication open with our children, preteens, and teens so that we are able to discuss honestly and directly with them any concerns we may have with regard to their behavior. When children feel comfortable talking to their parents, they are more likely to turn to them for help.

    Spiritual

    Too often parents clash with their children or teens over religion, urging them to pray salah and read Quran, and wondering where they went wrong when their child refuses to comply or follow through. There is a common fear among Muslim parents that their children will go astray and completely denounce the deen or not wish to live a life of obedience to Allah’s commands. Parents spend many nights on the prayer rug earnestly seeking Allah’s help in guiding their children. Prayers are a huge step in the right direction, but so is patient, loving communication and interaction with our children. From a very young age, the parent is the role model when it comes to religion. They must be authoritative (not authoritarian), yet kind and fair. If religion is associated with any misbehavior or less than mature words and actions on the part of the parent(s), the child is likely going to feel alienated from Islam. Educating your child about the deen, demonstrating on a daily basis its values and principles, and imbuing it with meaning and purpose and joy through your love and encouragement – all this is essential, especially in the teen years.

    Warning signs of spiritual decline include a lack of interest in going to the masjid, in reading the Quran, or in praying. These may seem obvious but what may not be as clear is the feeling underneath the lack of interest. What is occurring inside the child/teen that is leading to this distance from deen? This must be unearthed in order for the spiritual decline to be understood and addressed. I have often seen in my practice teens who have lost hope in Allah because of prayers being unanswered, or others who have committed sins that they do not believe they could be forgiven. Trust, hope, and belief in Allah’s mercy are essential discussions to engage youth in so that they can relate these valuable principles to their own situations. Again, communication is always key. A connection to your teen and awareness of what he/she is going through is necessary in order to be a mentor, a compelling influence, and a source of guidance and comfort to him or her.

    Social

    The social life of preteens and teens is so important to them. This stage of life is when they are discovering themselves and, therefore, depend very highly on their peers. We know it well that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has said: “Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with.” This statement must be focused on in this stage of a person’s life because the early teen years are when strong friendships are being developed. As parents, we must be aware of the people who are spending time with our youth, and the influence they may have on them, for good or ill. If our children are showing any signs of disinterest in being around family, mistreating others, becoming non-communicative, isolating themselves, etc., we must take note and remedy the situation before it worsens.

    Perhaps greater than the influence of friends is the influence of the Internet. Social media has grown so exponentially that many parents are unable to keep up with the different apps and social media outlets that the youth connect to and engage in on a daily basis, often multiple times a day. Inappropriate words, pictures, and videos can be shared in an instant, and access to them has become easier than ever before. Dr. Carolyn C. Ross, in her article, Overexposed and Under-Prepared: The Effects of Early Exposure to Sexual Content, notes the danger:

    Research has long established that teens who watch movies or listen to music that glamorizes drinking, drug use or violence tend to engage in those behaviors themselves. A 2012 study shows that movies influence teens’ sexual attitudes and behaviors as well. The study, published in Psychological Science, found that the more teens were exposed to sexual content in movies, the earlier they started having sex and the likelier they were to have casual, unprotected sex.

    It is simple common sense that there are detrimental effects on children from exposure to sexual and violent content. We as parents must strive to minimize such exposure via phones, tablets, and computers. Limits must be placed on when and where the device is used and for how long. There are numerous parental controls that are available on devices so that parents can control what their children are being exposed to. Some warning signs to look out for include: a decrease in time spent with family, an increase in time spent on devices, a decrease in communication/interaction with others, and any negative attitude or behavior change. Constant monitoring and open discussions with teens about sex, alcohol/drugs, and violence can prevent exposure and the more feared result, addiction. Children as young as nine years old are being exposed to pornography, and we simply cannot ignore this issue any longer; we must openly discuss in our homes and in our Islamic centers the danger to our children.

    Prevention is Key

    Unfortunately, parents so often seek professional help only when a situation with their child has reached crisis proportions. We as a community need to encourage one another to ask for help, to seek counseling, and to attend workshops so that we can work to prevent psychological, spiritual, and social problems in our youth. We must be proactive in creating resources within the community to protect the youth from harmful influences. The greatest need for children is connection and a sense of belonging. When they feel a lack of connection to their parents and to their community, that is when the need for something else comes into the picture. These feelings of loneliness and isolation drive teens to turn to drugs and sex, and also make them susceptible to depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.

    Communication is essential among families, friends, and community members so that we can assist one another when a warning sign presents itself. Counseling should never be a last resort but, instead, must be a resource that we encourage one another to utilize in times of chronic or acute stress, or any alarming concern. This can prevent even larger problems from taking hold of our families and communities. It is time we moved forward, from burying our heads in the sand to facing the problems head and heart on.

  • Seeking His Shade: Growing up in the Worship of God

    Seeking His Shade: Growing up in the Worship of God

    Have you ever heard the saying — Youth is wasted on the young? Those of us who can still lay claim to being young often have no real sense of the value of our youth. We’re strong in body, passionate in emotion, and have ample free time that makes older folks envious. There are young people who use their youthful years wisely, and others who fritter it away as though it holds no worth, thinking, “I’ll change sooner or later but I’ve got time to do whatever I want now.”

    Youth is a time of exploration. Older youth don’t yet have the family, financial, and civic responsibilities of an adult; but they have time, energy, health, and exuberant curiosity to explore, develop skills, and grow in knowledge

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “Take benefit of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death.” Youth is mentioned as one of the categories here because it involves the part of your life where you are at your peak health. It’s the time when you’re in a position to lay a foundation for the rest of your life, to institute habits of discipline, to practice virtues, to learn how to think and reason and use common sense. This is the time when you’re able to begin an exciting journey of discovery, of contribution and service, of beneficial impact on your community and the world.

    In the era of the Prophet (pbuh), youth was not seen as a barrier to accomplishing things. There were military leaders who were teenagers. There were Quranic scribes who, in our times, would be considered too young to take on such an important task. There were scholars who were raised in the presence of the Prophet, listening to his words and absorbing his wisdom at tender ages. For these individuals, their youth was an asset, never a limitation. We’re often (mistakenly) taught that as young people we do not have the skills, patience, or dedication to contribute in a substantive way to our communities and to the larger ummah. But as we’ve mentioned, throughout Islamic history many young people achieved great things.

    The very act of having good people in your life can make or break your status with God. Your peers affect you in ways that you may not comprehend at first glance.

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “There are seven whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade.” Among the seven he mentioned is a young person who grows up in the worship of Allah. How can we ensure that Allah (SWT) grants us this status on the Day of Judgment? And how can we capitalize on our time to make sure we’ve fulfilled our greatest potential during the dynamic and bountiful years of our youth?

    Surround Yourself with Good Friends

    I couldn’t be more grateful to my parents who strove to put me in the presence of intelligent and well-mannered people, including my peers. They always knew where I was and with whom. They knew my friends’ parents, and the kinds of people they were. I’ll openly admit that as a child, this was often irritating to me. I didn’t want to have to answer a million questions about who my friends were or where we were going and for how long. I wanted my “freedom.” Now, as an adult and as a parent, I have come to sincerely appreciate the effort that my parents exerted so that I would be in the company of good, trusted people. The very act of having good people in your life can make or break your status with God. Your peers affect you in ways that you may not comprehend at first glance.

    For example, in Surat al-Kahf, Allah (SWT) mentions the story of a group of young men who escaped their town and secluded themselves in a cave because they were the only ones who believed in one God. Allah (SWT) caused them to sleep for 309 years. As part of the story, Allah (SWT) describes the group, saying: “They will say there were three, the fourth of them being their dog; and they will say there were five, the sixth of them being their dog – guessing at the unseen; and they will say there were seven, and the eighth of them was their dog. Say, [O Muhammad], ‘My Lord is most knowing of their number. None knows them except a few. So do not argue about them except with an obvious argument and do not inquire about them [among the speculators] from anyone’” (18:22). It may seem like the dog is mostly irrelevant in the story, but the fact that Allah (SWT) mentions him several times is no coincidence. Scholars of tafseer have explained that the reason the dog is mentioned so often is that it was in the company of these righteous young people. Being in the company of these believers was enough for the dog to be honored to the level of being mentioned three separate times in this Quranic verse. This is the blessing of righteous companionship!

    Not only do we need to surround ourselves with good people, we also need to ensure that we become the sellers of musk. Every person who sits with us should leave with something beautiful.

    Similarly, in a beautiful hadith Qudsi, Allah (SWT) explains that the angels search for groups of people who are remembering Allah, and they surround them with their wings. At the end of the hadith, Allah (SWT) says: “Bear witness that I have forgiven them.” Then one of the angels would ask, “Among those assembled, there is one who is not of them [i.e., a sinner]; he only came for some other need.” Allah would reply: “Even so, they are one another’s companions and their companions shall not suffer.” Just our presence with the people who remember Allah can be a means for us to be forgiven!

    Having righteous companionship can affect our status with Allah (SWT). Good people remind us of our blessings and remind us to be grateful for them. Good people can lift us up in times of distress so that we don’t get lost in our pain. Good people help our hearts stay open and receptive to Allah’s message and guidance. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), said, “The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend is the likeness of a perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes or you may be exposed to his awful smell.”

    Not only do we need to surround ourselves with good people, we also need to ensure that we become the sellers of musk. Every person who sits with us should leave with something beautiful.

    Read, Read, and Read Some More

    As a child, I would walk to the nearby library with my siblings and we would each take out at least ten books at a time. Once we got home, we would hole ourselves up in our rooms, devouring the books one by one. This was our entertainment before the advent of hand-held devices. Our mother would have to pry books out of our hands in order for us to eat or sleep at a decent time.

    Growing up this way made us into voracious readers. Although many of us have succumbed to the allure of hand-held devices, there is still no greater pleasure than holding a book and reading in silence. Reading opens the mind to frames of reference other than our own. It enriches our vocabularies so that we might become articulate speakers and writers. It lets us glimpse realities that we haven’t lived, and helps us develop understanding and empathy. “Read!” was the first word ever revealed to our beloved Prophet (pbuh). Years later, after a victorious battle in which the Muslims captured a number of their enemies, Prophet Muhammad advised that if any of them would teach ten children how to read and write, they would be freed. The ability to read and write was given such significant value that teaching it was considered enough of a ransom to warrant an enemy’s freedom. Allah (SWT) tells us in the first verses revealed: “Read! — in the Name of your Lord Who created, created man from a clinging substance. Read! — and your Lord is the Most Generous, Who taught by the pen, taught man that which he knew not” (96:1-5).

    In the Quran and the Prophetic traditions, there is great emphasis placed on reading, learning, and contemplating. Attaining to knowledge is given such a high status that even the Prophet himself would supplicate to Allah, saying “My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.” Reading is the gateway into the world of learning. It is the start of a life-long journey of reflection and exploration. The Quran advises, “Say, [O Muhammad], ‘Travel through the land and observe how He began creation. Then Allah will produce the final creation. Indeed, Allah is able to do all things’” (29:20).

    Reading isn’t just an intellectual exercise. It’s about expanding your mind to a point where you start to recognize and appreciate all the signs that Allah (SWT) has placed on this earth. So for a portion of each day, put aside social media, gaming, and TV and read! Read and strive to understand the Quran; read about the amazing scholars, writers, and inventors who came before us. Read about history, politics, economics, psychology, physics, linguistics, alternative energy sources, health and fitness… the list is endless. And the capacity to expand our minds and deepen our understanding is relatively endless as well.

    Grow Your Passions and Be Active

    Once you reach the age of puberty, you are held accountable for all that you do, and that thought can be daunting. But you also have the opportunity to do good and therefore cement your status as a “youth who grew up in the worship of God.” Youth is a time of exploration. Older youth don’t yet have the family, financial, and civic responsibilities of an adult; but they have time, energy, health, and exuberant curiosity to explore, develop skills, and grow in knowledge.

    Take courses outside of school, develop interesting hobbies, volunteer with your school’s MSA or other groups, work on neighbourhood projects or political campaigns that you believe in. You can even start a small business on your own or with a group of other like-minded peers. The opportunities are quite literally endless. But above all, remember that you are doing all of these things so that Allah will accept you as a youth who took advantage of his or her years before old age. And most of all, remember that you are doing all of these things as part of your worship, as a demonstration that your words and deeds flow from your eman; and your eman, in turn, is constantly growing and informing your daily living with a believer’s sense of meaningfulness and purpose. Ensure that this intention is present, and He will bless all that you do.

    Remember that Your Surroundings Don’t Define You

    I know how difficult it is to grow up in a place where others often belittle your identity, or look at you with suspicion. Perhaps you may feel that you’re at a disadvantage because you live somewhere remote, unable to learn at the feet of scholars, or you live in an environment not conducive to Islamic beliefs. But I remind myself constantly of the examples of the righteous people who came before me – some of whom had to live and preach in much more difficult circumstances. Prophet Musa (pbuh) was raised in the household of one of the worst oppressors and transgressors in history — Pharaoh himself. His adoptive mother Aasiya (may Allah be pleased with her) was in the same boat, but she had it even worse – she was married to Pharoah. And yet both of them rose above these toxic influences surrounding them – Musa (pbuh) became a prophet and messenger whose brilliant example is immortalized in the Quran. Aasiya became a martyr whose strength inspires us to this day, and whose dying words have become part and parcel of our beliefs: “My Lord, build for me near You a home in Paradise.”

    The opposite is also true. You can grow up in the best and most loving, supportive environments for a believer and still go astray. Take for example Prophet Nuh’s (pbuh) son. Regardless of the fact that his father was a prophet, Nuh’s son vehemently disbelieved in the truth. Even as the waves of the flood were getting higher and more violent, he refused to board his father’s ark and eventually perished. You are not defined solely by your surroundings. You are defined only by your own worship of God and your dedication to goodness in all facets of your life. Despite your flaws and sins (we all have them) – you’re so much stronger than you think.

    I pray that I and each person reading this meet under the Shade of Allah (SWT) because we used our youthful years to worship Him (SWT). Ameen.

     

  • Protecting Our Muslim Youth in a Gender-fluid and Hyper-sexual Society

    Protecting Our Muslim Youth in a Gender-fluid and Hyper-sexual Society

    When I was invited to write an article about preparing youth for marriage, I eagerly agreed. I was excited to tackle the topic, not because this has become my field of expertise as the subject of my doctoral research and the focus of a great deal of my work as a youth counselor, but because I saw an opportunity. I had an opportunity to address marriage preparation, one among a list of important topics focusing on the well-being of our youth, including mentoring, developing leadership, time management, and other skills for success, or finding balance in one’s life. However, rather than simply discussing the importance of premarital education and counseling, I decided to focus instead on the issue of moral decline as it relates to sexuality, an issue that is plaguing our youth and causing a detrimental ripple effect deep into the bedrock of young marriages. This article focuses on the hyper-sexuality and shifting views of gender identification that our youth are currently exposed to. We, as parents, educators, community leaders, and activists must come to understand these issues if we are going to protect our children and youth.

    At an increasingly younger and younger age, youth are exposed to very mature content for which they are completely unprepared to process in the context of family, faith, and personal well-being

    As Muslims, we don’t talk about sex. And we definitely don’t talk about sexuality or sexual orientation with our youth. The taboo topic that often results in tongue-tied parents and red-faced religious leaders is not discussed in a healthy way with youth who are already socially exposed to these concepts through a variety of mediums. In neglecting the discussion of these topics, we are left instead with a multitude of curious teens and young adults seeking to learn about sexuality from the many sources that do offer open dialogue: friends, books, magazines, school, television, and, of course, the Internet. While the information may be plentiful and easily accessible, without guidance, a teenager may be left to his or her own devices to make sense of a very grown-up topic. Yet, our faith clearly indicates that we must have conversations with our youth in preparing them for dealing with the real world, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed that there should be no shyness in matters of religion when legitimately seeking knowledge.

    Social Influences

    Today, our youth are surrounded by books, movies, shows, and songs that glamorize intimacy removed from the sanctity of marriage. At an increasingly younger and younger age, youth are exposed to very mature content for which they are completely unprepared to process in the context of family, faith, and personal well-being. Songs by popular figures aim to normalize homosexuality and/or bisexuality, such as Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” in which Perry sings, “and I liked it.” Popular family shows such as “Modern Family” present same-sex parents Mitchell and Cameron.

    At the same time, books aimed at a young audience such as “See You at Harry’s” by Jo Knowles encourage exploration of teen and preteen sexual identification rooted in same-gender relationships. “Adult” books such as the infamous “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E.L. James completely subvert the idea of sexuality, presenting the content as romantic while filled with sexual and emotional abuse of women characters. Teenagers can covertly access this book despite warnings to stay away. Without a doubt, the impact of exposure to sexuality outside of marriage, and sexual lifestyle choices, is a corruption of the eyes, ears, and hearts, particularly in youth; and this is highly destructive to their developing worldview, sense of self and identity, and perceptions of marriage.

    With every open conversation we have with a teenager, there are ten more conversations that we need to have. Education, communication, patience, love, and prayer—lots and lots of prayer—form the cornerstone of open dialogue with our youth

    Every day, we see media icons such as Caitlyn Jenner (formerly known as Bruce Jenner) who are portrayed as heroes for choosing to “become” a gender they are more comfortable with, while the famed offspring of that same notorious family (Kim, Khloe, Kylie, and the other Kardashians) consistently flaunt their hyper-sexuality in the grossest form of shameless media exposure. Early teens and preteens are encouraged to explore not only what they will be when they grow up, but also what gender they select, as if it is a choice as easily negotiable as dying your hair or wearing colored contacts. Gender is currently viewed by pop culture as completely unbound by biology and genetics, resulting in the emergence of the cisgender identification (referring to the alignment of one’s gender identity with one’s biological sex assigned at birth) so as to normalize the transgendered choice.

    What can help our youth withstand the tide so as not to be swept away by the appeal to satisfy every fleeting desire? In a world that constantly preaches individualism and unbridled fulfillment of self, children are taught to feed the nafs al-ammara (base, lower self), to satisfy all worldly desires regardless of moral or religious reservations. This message of satisfying the self at all times and at all costs is a problematic contradiction for Muslims who believe in controlling desires of dunya as the ultimate form of submission to the will of Allah (SWT). But this message pales in comparison to the glitzy appeal of a world that advocates for the unfettered attainment of all desires. Consistently raising the bar on what will satisfy the nafs becomes a major factor in the lack of contentment pervading the marriage realm. When presented with a buffet of lifestyle choices, the singular distinction of monogamous marriage is seen as restrictive and confining. Marriage then becomes synonymous with monotony rather than being viewed as a path towards tranquility, stability, and, according to hadith, completing “half the deen.”

    Opportunities

    As Muslims in the West, we find ourselves working so hard on the constant defense of our faith from threats external to our communities that we sometimes lose sight of what threatens our youth internally. At one time, parents could easily warn their children about staying away from relationships with the opposite gender, which of course often occurred anyway but were considered scandalous when news inevitably reached the ears of the community. Yet, the parents of today have a whole other slew of sexual stances and definitions to warn their children about, things that they themselves may not fully understand. Trying to keep up with the constant barrage of LBTQ+ messages and identities from transsexual to pansexual to everything in between, is difficult for a generation that understands sexuality and gender identities as their parents and grandparents did, and their religion sanctions. Despite the religious rejection of these identities and actions, the exploration of such identities among our youth is growing at a terrifyingly rapid rate. The Internet provides an ever-changing menu for a variety of identifications, and our youth, decidedly more tech-savvy than us, are exposed to this confusing and harmful phenomenon.

    One may argue that the youth of the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s also grew up in a sexually permissive society and that the generation of that era turned out just fine. In those days, however, family values were still at the core of society and children were not indoctrinated to believe they had a choice in sexual orientation and gender identity. Traditional families and gender roles still held sway.

    As a Muslim community, we have yet to find the antidote for exposure to today’s sexual permissiveness, or the words to address it. We prefer to remain reticent on the topic of gender identification and homosexuality. Unlike the vocal faith groups who actively speak out against same gender relationships and the breakdown of the traditional family, we tend to tiptoe around the situation and prefer not to discuss something that we feel has nothing to do with our community. We try to avoid “planting the seed” in the minds of our youth without realizing that the seed has already been planted by others and that our reticence causes more confusion than clarification.

    Into the Future

    Protecting our youth in a gender-fluid and hyper-sexual society begins with talking to our own children. It begins by bringing down the barriers and allowing our youth the safe space needed to discuss with us openly what may be on their minds, what they are confused about, and what challenges they face as they attempt to navigate psychologically and emotionally through such turbulent times. Our work continues with identifying the factors that may influence our children and promoting a healthy consciousness of what a traditional faith-based relationship looks like. We must model purposeful, mature, and peaceful living in our own relationships. We are the stewards of the coming generation. With every open conversation we have with a teenager about the topics discussed in this article, there are ten more conversations that we need to have. Education, communication, patience, love, and prayer—lots and lots of prayer—form the cornerstone of open dialogue with our youth.

    What More Can We Do?

    After understanding the identity threats that impinge on our youth’s emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being, our natural response is “what more can we do?” The seemingly insurmountable mountain can be scaled by opening the lines of dialogue and discussion with our children. Here are some suggestions:

    • Begin discussion with your children from a young age about biological elements of the body. Don’t let their natural curiosity lead them down the path towards asking the wrong people or looking for information in the wrong places.
    • Refer often to the Quran. Teach your children the verses of Surat Ar-Rum regarding marriage and the creation of males and females as mates for one another, and other verses from the Quran that emphasize the beauty and sanctity of the marital relationship.
    • Keep hay’aa (modesty) as a central reference point in your home. Teach youth what modesty in action, in thoughts, in glances, and in interactions means, in addition to modesty in dress. Emphasize the importance of hay’aa for both girls and boys.
    • As your pre-teens and teens begin to enter the world of changing emotions and fluctuating hormones, be sure to discuss with them the difference between desire and action and how they can mitigate the emotions that they may not yet understand fully.
    • Help your children to recognize and fully appreciate the beauty of tawbah (repentance) and the love that Allah (SWT) has for those who sincerely repent; also talk about His love for those who are tested with desires but guard against sin because of their love for pleasing Him (SWT).
    • Use the words of the Quran regarding our prophets to exemplify guiding principles that can help protect our youth. For example, reference the story of Prophet Yusuf (pbuh) and how he was pulled by a woman’s desire, and he preferred to be put in prison than to be placed in that position. Explain to them also the situation of Prophet Lut (pbuh) and how he stood against those who acted in a way that was not pleasing to Allah (SWT) in trying to satisfy their lustful desires.
    • Finally, make a great deal of dua for the protection of your children and all the children of the ummah. Let your children see and hear you making dua often, and talk to them about the power of dua. Let them know that your dua is sincere and heartfelt, coming from a place of love for Allah (SWT) and for them.

    Finally, if you find it difficult to have these conversations with your children or teens, find a trusted mentor, an older sibling, or a youth group leader who can help guide your child in the right direction. May Allah (SWT) guide us all and guide all our children to the straight path. May He protect our coming generations from the fitnahs that we see today and the ones that we may not yet see.

     

  • Tailoring Programs to Meet the Needs of Underserved Muslim Youth

    Tailoring Programs to Meet the Needs of Underserved Muslim Youth

    It is common to enter the masjid and see adults over thirty and small children under the age of ten. However, unless a concerted effort is made to offer youth programming, it is unusual to see teens and young adults spending their time there. In this difficult sociopolitical environment where Islamophobia is rampant, kids are being bullied, and political candidates are spewing hateful rhetoric, it is imperative that we make our masajid youth-friendly, a place where they can be educated and feel included, empowered, and gain a sense of belonging.

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was not only aware of the vitality and strength of young Muslims, but he made sure to harness that energy to build a better Muslim community. He gave responsible youth positions of leadership; he interacted with them in a down-to-earth manner, making a point to not only listen to them but to take their suggestions, and to praise them for their contributions in front of their peers and elders. Many masajid are seeing the need for youth programming and stepping up to fill that void. It is important to keep in mind that just like the rest of the American Muslim community, American Muslim youth are a diverse group. They cannot be painted with the same broad brush. They have varying backgrounds, experiences, and needs. Not all of these needs are being met in the typical Muslim community.

    The Family and Youth Institute (The FYI) is a research and education nonprofit that conducts original research on Muslim youth and families to enable the ummah to know the issues they face, make necessary changes, and benefit from the information they provide. They compiled some of their research on Muslim youth in a comprehensive report in 2015. According to the report, American Muslim youth contain many subgroups that have been underserved by their communities. In order to better support these youth, it is important to understand who they are and tailor programs and efforts to their needs. Four subgroups highlighted in the report include: young American Muslim women, African American Muslim youth, convert Muslim youth, and refugee youth. They each have specific challenges and strengths that require special consideration.

    Young American Muslim Women

    Aliya is an outspoken and intelligent young lady. She holds student council and yearbook leadership positions at her middle school and often voices her ideas and concerns. On Fridays, when her parents take her to the masjid, she enters with her mom through a small side entrance to the dark and dingy area dedicated for women. The khutba and all extra spiritual opportunities are directed towards the “brothers” and she doesn’t see any place where she can be involved. Often times she leaves the prayer wondering if this is even a place where she belongs.

    Given the developmental importance of having a sense of belonging during adolescence and early adulthood, the lack of inclusion often results in young women seeking support and a sense of belonging elsewhere. Young American Muslim women have their own unique struggles which need to be understood and addressed. One particular issue discussed in The FYI report involves concerns and confusion surrounding their place in the masjid as determined by cultural narratives. There are many communities even today in which cultural interpretations of Islam prevent women from actively participating in community life. Some masajid discourage women from even attending congregational prayer, while others delegate women to a small back room, typically a cramped, confining space. Many prevent them from having leadership positions. In many masajid, khutbas and speeches are directed towards the men and women are usually not part of the congregational discourse. When they are discussed, it is often in relation to others (as mothers, daughters and wives) rather than independent beings serving God like their male peers.

    This is in direct contrast to community life during the time of the Prophet (pbuh). He informed Muslim males not to prevent women from coming to the masjid. He sought female companions’ advice on matters of the state and he gave them time and attention to help them develop their spirituality. In many regards, the Prophet (pbuh) helped to empower women, and this resulted in the development of strong female role models and active participants in Muslim community life. For example, Aisha bint Abu Bakr not only possessed great knowledge but took an active part in education and social reform. She was the teacher of many of the learned companions of the Prophet (pbuh).

    Similar to Aliya’s story, the current inability or unwillingness of many Muslim communities to provide an inclusive and empowering environment for young women often results in them feeling unimportant or unwelcome in mosques. In a 2013 study by The Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), exploring women’s participation in US mosques, the majority of mosques (86 percent) were rated as “fair” to “poor” in terms of being female-friendly, and only 4 percent of mosques in America reported programming for women as a priority. Many young women are unable to differentiate between Islamic principles and their masjid’s specific interpretation of Islam, and as a result they feel frustrated, spiritually disconnected, disempowered and alienated.

    Another issue mentioned in the report deals with that of hijab. Adolescence is the period when young women may first consider wearing hijab. The decision to wear or not to wear it has differing implications depending on the young woman’s environment. For example, one young woman may decide to wear hijab per religious mandate and report the experience as empowering, but her decision may result in stressful parental or family objections. Another young woman may choose not to wear hijab, which may result in experiencing marginalization by her community. Some young women report disliking societal association of hijab as a symbol of oppression. Some express being overwhelmed by the implicit responsibility of being a representative of Islam in a non-Muslim society. In addition, some young women worry about their ability to get a job if they wear hijab or report fear of emotional or physical harm, particularly amidst today’s anti-Islamic political rhetoric and widespread Islamophobia. These unique concerns, decisions, and need for support are crucial to the development of young American Muslim women. Communities need to have an open forum for discussion of these important issues.

    In addition, some young women are given mixed messages from their families and communities; they are encouraged to be outspoken about their rights within mainstream society but not to push the status quo within their religious and cultural communities. Recently, some young women have begun asserting themselves, trying to change the current narrative through leadership positions and advocating for increased programming and space within mosques and other religious organizations. Others are empowering themselves through the use of social media and using it as a platform to connect with other women and push for community conversations. The same study found that more women showed up for events at mosques where there existed female board members, female speakers were included for events, and attractive women’s prayer spaces accommodated them. Women were happy to spend their talents and expertise in the mosques where they felt at home and welcome. Muslim communities need to make an effort to open doors of opportunity for these dedicated and talented young women to both receive from and give back to their community.

    African American Muslim Youth

    Jamaal felt passionately about the Black Lives Matter movement and the need to end widespread racism and police brutality against African Americans. He brought this up to his Muslim youth group and suggested a fundraiser and community dinner to address the issue. It fell on deaf ears and another fundraising dinner for Palestine was planned instead. This conveyed to him that Palestinians but not African Americans were “our people and our problem.”

    African American Muslims are considered to be the largest percentage of native born Muslims in the United States. African American Muslim youth are a diverse group – living in different social and structural contexts, and having varying experiences depending on a number of factors. Whether they were born Muslim or converted, live in urban, suburban, or rural environments, attend an immigrant or African American religious community, and their religious congregation’s ideological understanding and practice of Islam all influence the youth’s development. However, across the board, African American youth’s social context is highly influenced by race.

    Institutional racism in America is clearly a problem, as evidenced by African American males, young and old, being disproportionately profiled, over-policed, arrested, and incarcerated. One in three African American men can expect to go to prison in their lifetime. African American youth are not immune to these experiences, and in fact, likely have a great effect on their day-to-day lives. Images of African Americans in the media and entertainment industries reinforces negative stereotypes and have an impact on the self-concept and identity of African American youth. The Black Lives Matter movement has recently been able to highlight the issue of police brutality against African Americans and increase its public exposure. Muslims must be at the forefront of this movement, as Islam stands against all oppression and senseless violence. Social justice and standing up to systematic oppression is a rich part of American Muslim history we must all embrace.

    Ongoing institutional racism has also resulted in a disproportionate number of African Americans experiencing poverty. The 2012 US census results found that the median family income for African American families was $39,988 compared to $67,892 for white families. Socioeconomic factors may have a direct or indirect profound impact on the development of African American Muslim youth. Financial stability, parental stress, housing and neighborhood options, and quality of education are all factors that impact the developmental outcomes of young people.

    Unfortunately, African American Muslims also often experience racism from within the greater Muslim community – both in the form of unforgivable name calling (“abeed,” the Arabic word for “slave”) as well as indirectly, such as assuming the person has limited knowledge of Islam based on their skin color. Recently the hashtag #BlackinMSA on twitter encouraged young African American Muslims to bring to light their negative Muslim Student Association experiences, and unfortunately these incidents are all too common and pervasive. Their stories are painful to read and highlight the isolation and mistreatment African American Muslim students have felt from their Muslim peers. We seem to have forgotten the words of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in his final sermon: “O people! Your God is one and your forefather (Adam) is one. An Arab is not better than a non-Arab and a non-Arab is not better than an Arab, and a white person is not better than a black person and a black person is not better than a white person, except in piety” (narrated in Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal).

    Thus, African American Muslim youth experience stigmatization due to both religious and racial identification on multiple levels. The shared history, racial struggles, societal experiences, and socioeconomic conditions may result in African American youth identifying with their non-Muslim African American peers more than their immigrant Muslim peers. Ignoring or failing to address racial injustice and take action to reduce it in the community can only result from underestimating its negative impact on the lives of African American Muslim youth, as well as impeding efforts to meet their unique needs.

    Young Muslim Converts

    It had been five years since Bryan accepted Islam and entered his Muslim community. And yet, it was Ramadan again and here he sat at iftar time, in front of his television, with his frozen dinner, eating alone. He had attended the community iftar at the Masjid the night before but found himself eating alone there too, as people of like cultures banded together. He figured if he was going to be eating alone, he might as well be in the comfort of his own home.

    About 25 percent of American Muslims are converts. Adolescence and early adulthood is a period often associated with self-exploration and this process may inspire a young person to convert to Islam. Young Muslim converts are susceptible to experiencing negative outcomes due to the loss of support from parents and relatives, and former friends, resulting in a critical unmet social need. Unfortunately, very little is known about the impact of conversion during adolescence and early adulthood on the young person’s development. Current research highlighted in The FYI report suggests that developmental issues unique to this subgroup include: disruption within the family context, lack of social support or mentorship, and challenges integrating into the Muslim community.

    The decision to convert to Islam often results in the disruption of the parent-child relationship. Parental reaction may range from lukewarm support to forcible removal from the parents’ home. The change in belief system, dress and lifestyle may cause tension, resulting in some cases of loss of support from parents and former friends. Unlike older converts, many adolescents and young adults may still be physically, financially, and emotionally dependent on their parents. Hence, the impact of this loss is much greater and deeper.

    As a result of this family disruption, new social support networks, a sense of belonging, integration and re-creation of a strong bond becomes particularly critical for convert Muslim youth. Unfortunately, most converts report limited social support from their Muslim community. Ramadan, Eid, and holidays associated with their former religion were reported as being a lonely time, resulting in feelings of marginalization. Ramadan is the most social month of the Muslim year, with family and friends often gathering over lavish evening meals. But many American converts to Islam break their fast alone, often in front of the TV. Those who did feel supported indicated they were “adopted” by individual families. These “family connections” served as a major source of support and helped with integration and connection within the Muslim community.

    Many young converts reported a need for mentors who understand their intersecting social identities to help them with their life challenges. Some converts are forming their own groups, one of which is Ta’leef Collective. Founded as a resource for new Muslims and prospective converts, Ta’leef runs classes, discussions, and support groups. Its headquarters are in Fremont, California, but it opened a Chicago chapter in 2012. Additionally, there are small discussion groups popping up in “third-spaces” in large cities such as New York and Washington, DC to gather and share resources and build community.

    Many converts also encounter struggles in their personal lives that require proper support. Many convert youth report struggling to channel their sexual energy after conversion. They now need to alter their previous behaviors – such as gender interaction, dating, and premarital sex. They may try to marry quickly to protect themselves from temptation. Converts also report difficulty with the marriage process due to lack of opportunities to meet potential mates, lack of support system to assist in the search, and potential spouses’ family objections due to concerns regarding implications of marrying a convert. Often times female converts are pursued for citizenship purposes rather than as genuine life partners.

    Experiences may differ based on the individual’s cultural background and the community into which they are attempting to integrate. One study reports that African American converts often believed that white converts received preferential treatment. White converts, on the other hand, often see themselves as a “community trophy.” As one shared: I think more than anything you’re kinda like a mascot…people are proud to like parade you around as a white convert or show you off, and, without ever really getting to know you.

    White women, particularly, who choose to wear hijab may experience more difficulty transitioning as they feel the loss of their societal white privilege. Female Muslim converts are particularly mischaracterized by the media, which portrays them as brainwashed, weak-willed, and easily misled by Muslim men. Deanna Othman writes that the female Muslim convert “provides a spectacle for the public to shake their heads at because she is a tragic character, and her tragic flaw is her conversion” to Islam. When young American Muslim converts are not supported through these trials and provided with a much needed social network, they often stop coming to the mosque all together and may even leave the religion.

    Refugee Muslim Youth

    Ameera sat on the floor in the corner of the small apartment, wishing that she were still in Syria before the war struck. She missed her friends and cousins and their fun days laughing in the garden. She missed the family gatherings that went late into the night and the large spread of food her mama used to cook. Most of all, she missed the peace and contentment her heart had felt before the war and the sleep that used to come so easily…

    As the political conflicts continue throughout the world, increasing numbers of refugees from predominantly Muslim countries are arriving in the United States. Refugee Muslim youth experience unique struggles as they attempt to integrate into the US. Understanding their individual and family experiences during the migratory process (pre-migration, asylum seeking, and resettlement stages) will be critical in assessing the impact on the individual’s development, identifying potential risks, and developing appropriate interventions. In addition, mental health, social disruption, and educational challenges have to be considered when trying to promote youth development in this subgroup.

    American Muslim refugee youth who have witnessed or been victims of violence may report problems processing these traumatic events. Their experiences may result in developmental delays, difficulties managing emotions, or poor academic performance. They may experience higher incidence of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. They are more likely to report survivor’s guilt, a pessimistic outlook on life, and suicidal ideation. Often they may exhibit a developmental regression such as bedwetting, or they may report difficulty concentrating in class. In addition, traumatic experiences may result in the formation of negative thoughts and expectations about themselves, others, the world, and their future. This can impact the young person’s ability to form meaningful attachments and develop a social support network.

    The lack of trust in institutions and the future also complicates young refugees’ educational experiences. Many live in areas with poor school districts with overcrowded classrooms that have limited resources. There is often inadequate funding for language acquisition programs and this, coupled with racism and xenophobia, increase the difficulty of transition. Refugee youth that have experienced multiple losses, financial stress, lack of parental monitoring/availability, lack of social support network, and untreated psychological wounds may have an increased likelihood to engage in high risk behaviors. Unfortunately, the needs of this subgroup often go unnoticed and are therefore minimally supported by their community.

    The field of research on American Muslim youth is still evolving, and there are many questions that need to be explored and answered. Continued research is needed in order to understand the varying subgroups, their challenges, and how to better meet their needs. The current knowledge can be used by parents, as well as educational and religious institutions to form religiously, culturally, and developmentally relevant programs for young people, families, mentors, organizations, and mosques. By fulfilling the unmet needs of these underserved Muslim youth subgroups, and Muslim youth in general, we can hope, insha’Allah, to more effectively promote positive development of American Muslim youth. Individuals interested in additional information can find resources at The Family and Youth Institute’s website: www.thefyi.org