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Tag: Islam

  • Remaining Steadfast

    Remaining Steadfast

    With the chaos and busyness of everyday life, it’s important for us to remain firm in our faith, to stand strong and upright without wavering in our beliefs. We also must share our Islamic knowledge with others, and regularly engage in conversations about our deen. Doing so strengthens us in our religion, particularly as we remind and support one another in our faith journey.

    Every week we have a chance to listen to a khutbah or to attend a lecture at the masjid or even online, offering us a wonderful opportunity to take those lessons learned and to discuss them with our family and friends. But there are even more rewards to be reaped! We can draw admonitions and learn lessons about what behaviors to avoid and what behaviors to emulate as spelled out in Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) hadith delivered during his last sermon: “All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listened to me directly. Be my witness, O Allah, that I have conveyed your message to your people.”

    When we consider our actions and how we spend our days, we must make sure our time is being well spent. Remember, whatever is done each day is recorded in our life’s record, and we will be accountable for those actions on the Day of Resurrection. Allah SWT says, “The earth will shine with the Light of its Lord, and the Book [of deeds] will be set [in place]. Then, the Prophets and witnesses will be summoned, and matters will be decided between them with justice and they will not be wronged. Each person will be paid in full for their deeds. He [Allah] is fully Aware of what they have done [in this world] (Qur’an 39:69-70).

    Steadfastness

    As we focus on spending our time wisely, performing good deeds and acts of worship, it’s important to remember that we must stay the course of goodness, to remain persistent in these blessed acts done only for the glory of Allah SWT, because doing what is righteous is our greatest honor. Whoever stays firm on performing good deeds, Allah SWT will protect him from destructive sins, and he will be among the first to enter Paradise. Allah SWT says: “Verily, those who say: ‘Our Lord is [only] Allah,’ and thereafter stand firm, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. Such shall be the dwellers of Paradise, abiding therein forever – a reward for what they used to do” (Qur’an 46:13-14).

    Remember that istiqaamah, which translates to uprightness, correctness, integrity, and soundness, has many virtues in this dunya as well as at death and in the Hereafter.

    Allah SWT says, “Indeed, those who declare, ‘Our Lord is Allah [alone],” and then stand firm (to their belief), the angels descend upon them [saying]: “Do not fear and do not stress, instead welcome the good news of the Paradise that you were promised. We are your (protecting) friends in this worldly life and the Hereafter. There you will have whatever your souls desire and whatever you ask for [without any restrictions] as a welcoming gift from the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Qur’an 41:30-32).

    Steadfastness includes all aspects of Islam

    Staying the course of righteousness is a command from Allah SWT to both the believers and to Rasoolullah (pbuh). Allah SWT says, “So be firm as you are commanded and those who turn in repentance [unto Allah] with you and transgress not [Allah’s legal limits]. Verily, He is All-Seer of what you do” (Qur’an 11:112).

    But this command encompasses not just what we should do but also what we shouldn’t, and we must strive to remain steady to observe and abide by all of Allah’s SWT commands and prohibitions. We must do our best to consider the totality of our faith and remember there is blessing in remaining steadfast in faith and in everyday actions. Remember Rasoolullah’s (phuh) answer when Sufyan ibn Abdullah Ath-Thaqafi (RA) asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Tell me something concerning Islam about which I will never ask anyone else.” He said, “Say, ‘I have believed in Allah,’ and then be steadfast” (Muslim).

    When reflecting on this hadith of the Prophet (pbuh), who among the entire Ummah doesn’t say “I believe in God”? But we must ask ourselves, do our actions reflect that belief? Think of some of the customs associated with significant days in our lives like weddings, birthdays, aqeeqahs, and deaths of loved ones. In these moments, are we mixing the haram with the halal, confusing haq (truth) with batil (falsehoods)? Do we indeed have one foot firmly in Islam and the other in Jahiliyah (ignorance)? And when we act in this way, so many of us make excuses upon excuses!

    But Umar (RA) warned of this wayward behavior. He said, “Steadfastness: To remain upright and adhere to commands and prohibitions without evading them like foxes.”

    In fact, Allah SWT himself warned against making excuses when deviating from the straight path, from the Shari’ah, and instead choosing a different path.

    Allah SWT says to Prophet Muhammad, and by extension, to all of us, “We have put you on a clear way of [Our] commandment. So, follow it, and do not follow the desires of those who do not know. They cannot help you against Allah in any way. Indeed, the wrongdoers are helpers of one another, but Allah is the helper of the God-fearing” (Qur’an 45:18-19).

    Here Allah SWT is not only leading believers to the straight path, He also is urging them to be steadfast and to continue on the road of righteousness and encouraging them with the promise of His help.

    After giving His commands and prohibitions, Allah SWT says, “These [commandments] are My Path, the straight way. So, follow it and do not follow other ways, as they will cause you to deviate from His Way. This is what He commands you, so perhaps you may become God-fearing” (Qur’an 6:153)

    Steadfastness is linked to the heart and leads to controlling the tongue

    When we think about remaining firm in our faith, we must look to the heart. Consider what Rasoolullah (pbuh), his companions, and leading scholars said about the heart and how its spiritually enduring health and resoluteness is linked to the spiritual health of the rest of the body and the critical role it plays in helping us to remain steadfast. Rasoolullah (pbuh) said: “Verily, in the body is a piece of flesh which, if sound, the entire body is sound, and if corrupt, the entire body is corrupt. Truly, it is the heart” (Muslim).

    Imam ibn Rajab al-Hanbali, a jurist, historian, and leading figure during the 14th century, linked one’s heart and its unwavering focus on monotheism to spiritual success. He said, “The foundation of steadfastness is the steadfastness of the heart upon monotheism.”

    For Abu Bakr (RA), the first caliph after the death of our beloved Prophet (pbuh), istiqaamah meant when the believers did not turn to anyone other than Allah for help. He said steadfastness in the heart is manifest in knowing Allah, fearing Him, respecting Him, revering Him, loving Him, desiring Him, hoping in Him, supplicating to Him, relying on Him in all things, and, finally, turning away from anything other than Allah.

    Imagine the heart is the body’s king and the limbs are its soldiers. If the heart is steadfast in obeying Allah in all things, so too will be the limbs. And if the heart is the body’s king and the limbs are its soldiers, what then is the most important limb of all? The answer is the tongue, because it is the interpreter of the heart, and it expresses what is inside. So, guard your tongue and set your heart on steadfastness to Allah, to obeying all His commands and adhering to all His prohibitions.

  • Circumstances Surrounding the Emergence of the Shia

    Circumstances Surrounding the Emergence of the Shia

    The rulership of the Muslim ummah, or community of believers, has undergone significant transformations throughout the centuries. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was the leader and guide for the emerging Islamic community for twenty-three years, from 610 to 632 CE, before returning to his Lord. He achieved the mission of receiving revelation of the Qur’an, conveying the message of Islam, and calling his people to worship Allah alone. However, his death was a massive test for the believers. After his passing, they were tasked with continuing his legacy and maintaining the stability of the new Islamic state. Since then, there have been disagreements surrounding whose responsibility it was (and is) to lead the general body of Muslims. Two distinct groups emerged from these initial disputes – the Sunnis and Shias – and from the two many subgroups which have endured until modern times.

    The most prominent characteristic of the early Muslim ummah, or community, was its unity in obedience to the teachings of the Prophet (s). In religious matters, they followed what was put forward by the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (s). They respected Prophet Muhammad’s authority, never deviating from the path he paved for them. They had direct access to this fountain of knowledge, were witnesses to the revelation of Qur’anic verses, and fought with him to establish Islam in the Arabian Peninsula.

    Among the closest people to the Prophet, peace be upon him, were his family members, those who lived with him, the first converts from Makkah, and the Ansar or helpers of Madinah. The relationship between the close companions was, at the very least, civil, as they followed a code of conduct defined by the prophetic model. Abdullah ibn Salaam reported that the Prophet said, “O, people, spread peace, feed the hungry, and pray at night when people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise in peace” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi). Spreading peace meant that they respected one another, were generous, and displayed a positive attitude. During times of conflict, they referred to the Prophet (s) for guidance or mediation.

    Throughout the time of Muhammad’s prophethood, the new Muslims were united under the banner of faith. They had to face enemies who were stubbornly opposed to Islam and actively persecuted anyone who followed its message of pure monotheism. There was little room for division – a united front was necessary to defeat all opponents. Back then, the antagonists were mostly polytheists and other non-Muslim groups. Once Makkah was conquered, a general amnesty was granted to the Makkans, and of the most egregious oppressors of the Muslims, a handful were killed, and the others granted pardons. Consequently, many embraced Islam, hoping to benefit from its success.

    After the Death of the Prophet (s)

    Political turmoil within the Muslim community began after the death of the Prophet (s). Some senior companions, including Umar ibn al-Khattab, were stunned and even denied his passing, deduced from the traditional narration in Sahih al-Bukhari where Abu Bakr as-Siddique reprimanded those companions who suggested that the Prophet (s) had not died. He recited to them the following verse from the Qur’an: “Muḥammad is no more than a messenger. Messengers have passed away before him. So, if he were to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all; but Allah will reward the grateful” (3:144). His reminder helped bring the general community of Muslims back to their senses. However, some late converts, especially those outside of Madinah, began to retract their decision to join the Muslims. It may have been due to wavering faith, fear that Islam would lose its stronghold in the region, or both. Nevertheless, the successors of the Prophet (s) would defeat these rebel groups and bring stability back to the ummah.

    There is a hadith attributed to the Prophet Muhammad (s), in which he said:

    “Prophethood will remain amongst you for as long as Allah wishes. Then Allah will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it, and there will be a caliphate upon the prophetic methodology. It will last for as long as Allah wishes it to last, then Allah will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it. Then there will be an abiding dynasty, and it will remain for as long as Allah wishes it to remain. Then Allah will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it. Then there will be tyrannical kingship, and it will remain for as long as Allah wishes it to remain. Then He will remove it whenever He wishes to remove it, and then there will be a caliphate upon the prophetic methodology” (Aḥmad).

    This prediction appears to align with the events after the Prophet’s death until the present day. After his departure came twenty-nine years of rule from 632 to 661 under the “Rightly Guided Caliphs” – Abu Bakr As-Siddique, Umar ibn Al-Khattab, Uthman ibn Affan, and Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with them. All four were early converts. The first three were elder converts related to the Prophet by marriage, while the last was his cousin and son-in-law and the youngest to embrace Islam. Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, is also considered one of the first, if not the first, to embrace Islam from the Prophet’s household. Yet, it was Abu Bakr who took the reins of the community to become the successor of the Prophet (s). After a discussion with a group of Ansar, Umar ibn Al-Khattab and Abu Ubaidah ibn Al-Jarrah, another senior companion, took from Abu Bakr the pledge of allegiance. Thus, he became the Khalifatur Rasulillah – the successor of the Messenger of Allah.

    This decision has proven to be a point of contention among later groups (proto-Shia) who asserted that it was Ali ibn Abi Talib’s sole right to be given the pledge for the khilafah. One piece of evidence which is cited in support of this opinion is the hadith of Ghadir Khum. Regarding the event, it is narrated that the Prophet (s) stood up and addressed the people at a well called Khum between Makkah and Madinah. After praising Allah and delivering a sermon, he said, “If I am a person’s mawla, Ali is also his mawla” (al-Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Sunan ibn Majah).

    There are varying versions of this narration; both Sunni and Shia scholars agree that it is authentic, and that the incident did indeed take place. Nevertheless, there are differences of opinion regarding the context and the meaning of the Prophet’s statement. For example, according to Sunni scholars, the term mawla could mean friend, helper, guardian, ally, etc. For the Shia, the title primarily means “leader.” The Shia would thus argue that Ali ibn Abi Talib, should have become the leader of the believers, just as the Prophet Muhammad (s) was their leader. Through the centuries, scholars have debated whether it was a matter of semantics, as the word has multiple meanings. There are other points of to consider such as why very few people disputed the decision to appoint Abu Bakr As-Siddique as the khalifah after the death of the Prophet if it was evident from the statement by the Prophet that Ali ibn Abi Talib had been named the successor. Indeed, many thousands of companions witnessed this statement and if they understood it as a decree from the Prophet (s), there would have been a major outcry when Abu Bakr was appointed.

    For the Sake of Unity

    John McHugo writes in A Concise History of Sunnis and Shiís, that Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, “only gave way to Abu Bakr for the sake of the unity of the community” (pg. 40). He also mentions that this attitude became a regular pattern of behavior for him because, on other occasions, “he put the harmony of the community before his own interests and ambitions” (pg. 40). Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, was not considered a candidate for the position of khilafah until the death of Umar ibn Al-Khattab, and lost the seat to Uthman ibn Affan. He served only as an advisor under their respective rules. This selfless behavior seems to have set the precedent for some who came after him who chose quietism over fighting for political leadership, individuals such as Imam Hassan ibn Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, and the famed scholar, accepted by both Sunnis and Shias, Jafar Al-Sadiq. Ali ibn Abi Talib’s disengagement with politics would end during the latter part of the reign of Uthman ibn Affan, may Allah be pleased with him, whose political decisions caused the unrest that eventually led to his assassination. The Muslim community witnessed the emergence of the Kharijites and the party of Ali (Shiatul Ali), who supported him against Muawiyyah ibn Abi Sufyan as the legitimate khalifah after Uthman.

    Since then, the ummah has been divided on the grounds of who has more right to its leadership. The death of Muawiyyah, and his naming of his son, Yazid ibn Muawiyyah, to succeed him as ruler, paved the way for the Ummayad dynasty. Other notable epochs in Islamic history stand out with key groups, such as the Fatimids, Ayyubids, Seljuks, and Mamluks, Ottomans, and modern-day Arab states, each claiming to be on the path of truth. Each of these has had its distinctive qualities and followed varying schools of thought and methodologies. Some of the most notable of the Shia political powers were the Fatimids, Buyids, Hamdanids, and Safavids. As for their beliefs, these evolved over time; different groups broke into sects, some believing that only Ali ibn Abi Talib was the imam but did not dispute anyone after that point. Other groups included Al-Hassan, Al-Husayn, and Muhammad ibn Ali (Al-Haniffiyah) in the line of leadership. Some continued down the lineage of imamate through Imam Jafar As-Sadiq (Ismailis), while the most prominent group, the Twelvers, await the return of the twelfth imam, Muḥammad ibn al-Ḥasan, whom they consider to be the awaited Mahdi. These various categorizations did not exist among the early Shia. According to McHugo, there may not have been a clear distinction between the Sunni and Shia during the time of Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (p. 105).

    Over fourteen centuries have passed since the death of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, yet the Islamic world is still debating about who was the rightful heir to the leadership after his time. There are two distinct arguments, each with its compelling evidence, but ultimately the truth is with Allah. Rather than be divided, both sides must strive for peace, following the example of Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, who dedicated his life to uphold it.

  • Character Building: The Essence of a Believer

    Character Building: The Essence of a Believer

    All praises are for Allah, Lord of all that exists; and peace and blessings of Allah be on His final messenger and his household.

    Character is the solid foundation of a believer upon which both iman and amal (faith and practice) are based. It is what defines an individual and differentiates him or her from others. Character is that which will determine true success both in this world and the next as it will be among the heavyweight factors of positive value on the scales on the Day of Judgment.

    In a sound hadith of al-Tirmidhii, Abu Darda (r) reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Nothing is heavier upon the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the vulgar and obscene.” Jabir ibn Samurah (r) reported that the messenger of Allah (s), said, “Verily, obscenity and immorality are not part of Islam. Verily, the best people in Islam are those with the best character” (Aḥmad – sahih).

    In fact, the one who possesses good character will be in the company of Rasoolullah (s) on the Day of Judgment. Abdullah ibn Amr (r) reported that the messenger of Allah said, “Shall I tell you about the most beloved to me and the closest to my assembly on the Day of Resurrection? Those with the best character” (Musnad Aḥmad), and it is a sound hadith.

    On the other hand, those with evil character will be furthest away from Rasoolullah (s) on the Day of Judgment. Jabir ibn Abdullah (r) reported that the messenger of Allah (s) said, “Verily, the most beloved and nearest to my gathering on the Day of Resurrection are those of you with the best character. Verily, the most reprehensible of you to me and the furthest from my gathering on the Day of Resurrection will be the pompous, the extravagant, and the arrogant” (al-Tirmidhī – sahih).

    It is interesting to note that noble qualities tend to connect with one another and are inter-related. Someone who is sincere, and kind would most likely be honest, respectful, and just — or at least would strive to embody those virtues. This becomes a lifelong quest, aiming for excellence of character. The opposite is also true. A bad quality tends to pave the way for other bad qualities until such person is characterized by ignoble qualities. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (r) reported that the messenger of Allah said, “You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as truthful. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar” (Muslim).

    Imaam Shafe’i, the great Muslim scholar, wrote in a couplet: “Many people have died, but their generosity lives on; And many are alive, but they are just as good as dead.” So, on whom must one model his character? Certainly not those who are void of morals but the one whose role was to perfect human character. He is none other than Muhammad (s). He has been sent by Allah SWT with many responsibilities, among which is as a teacher perfecting noble character. In a famous hadith, he (s) said, “I have been sent to perfect good character.” Allah SWT confirmed that by telling us in the Qur’an, “…You are not, [O Muhammad], by the favor of your Lord, a madman. And indeed, for you is a reward uninterrupted. And indeed, you are of a great moral character…” (68:2-5).

    Out of the Darkness and into the Light

    The result of the Prophet’s teaching should be evident to all of humanity. He (s) lived in a society where people would bury their female babies alive, out of societal shame. There was no sense of justice. They supported their tribe whether right or wrong. The strong took advantage of the weak and the rich exploited the poor.

    He (s) brought them out from the darkness of ignorance into the light of Islam. The sahabah (r), as they proved themselves, have stood out as the unique generation. They took on the responsibility of extending the influence of Islam out into the world and demonstrating the commitment to excellent character as taught by the Prophet (s).

    Just take the case of the second Khaliph Umar (r). Before converting to Islam, Umar (r) opposed the Prophet’s message and even threatened to kill him (s). He was adamant and cruel in opposing the messenger of Allah and very prominent in persecuting Muslims. But once he converted to Islam, he made a complete change in his life to the point that he was given the title of al-farouk, the one who distinguishes between right and wrong. He would often say, “Who is Umar without Islam?” Before Islam, his ignoble character would have taken him to eternal destruction. He now is in the company of the noblest of human beings.

    After the passing of Rasoolullah (s), the sahabah (r) too began to liberate men from the bonds of the darkness of jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance; unbelief) into the light of Islam. This historical achievement was the mark of a unique generation, the generation that Prophet Muhammad raised by instilling in them good and noble character. The Prophet (s) affirmed this when he said, “The best people are those of my generation, and then those who will come after them [the next generation], and then those who will come after them; and then after them, there will come people whose witness will precede their oaths, and whose oaths will precede their witness” (al-Bukhari).

    Developing and Strengthening Character

    The good news is that each individual has the potential to develop and strengthen his or her character, whatever their current status or nature — their personality traits and their moral and ethical qualities. One can develop qualities such as honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, compassion, sincerity, kindness and much more, as long as one strives on a daily basis with self-awareness and devotion. Indeed, these noble qualities combined together sum up a noble character and make one a true believer in Allah SWT and a great asset in society. Hasan Al-Basri, may Allah have mercy on him, in his book Jāmi’ Bayān al-‘Ilm, said: “Verily, from the character of the believer is strength in religion, determination with leniency, faith with certainty, eagerness for knowledge, sympathy with understanding, moderation in worship, mercy with effort, giving to those who ask, not wronging the one he hates, not sinning over the one he loves, dignified in turmoil, grateful in ease, content with what he has, speaking to impart understanding, being silent out of caution, and affirming the truth as a witness over him.”

    Usamah ibn Shareek reported, “I witnessed the Bedouins ask the Prophet, ‘O messenger of Allah, what is the best thing a servant may be given?’ The messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, ‘Good character’” (Sunan Ibn Mājah – sahih). One can begin in his own home. Abu Huraira (r) reported that the messenger of Allah (s) said, “The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the most excellent character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women” (al-Tirmidhi — sahih). A similar hadith was narrated by Aisha (r) with a slight variation. The messenger of Allah said, “Verily, the most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character and who are most kind to their families” (al- Tirmidhi – sahih).No doubt good character raises one’s status, as if he has done major acts of worship. Aisha (r) reported that the messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the believer may reach through his good character the status of one who regularly fasts and prays at night” (Sunan Abi Dawud – sahih).

    In conclusion, seeking good character by our daily efforts should be joined with making sincere du’a to Allah SWT, as Rasoolullah (s) has guided us to do. Jabir ibn Abdullah reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, used to make this du’a: “O Allah, guide me to the best deeds and the best character, for no one guides to the best of them but you. Protect me from evil deeds and evil character, for no one protects from the evil of them but you.”

    O Allah, I ask you to grant us health, good character, and contentment with qadr. Ameen!

  • Mercy for a Suffering World: The Islamic Model

    Mercy for a Suffering World: The Islamic Model

    In the Islamic faith, there is one phrase that is recited more frequently than any other. It begins every chapter of the Quran except for one. It is the opening for every prayer and the invocation that begins each action — whether it is eating and drinking, facing the most difficult of challenges, or starting the most mundane and routine of tasks. This phrase is “bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem,” a few short but powerful words so often recited habitually, routinely, and ritually, but, nonetheless, a phrase that conveys one of the most beautiful expressions of faith: in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate.

    The mercy of Allah (SWT) is captured in this awe-inspiring phrase with which we are commanded to begin so many actions in our lives. The reminder that our Lord is the most Merciful and the one who is truly filled with compassion is meant to be on our minds, on our tongues, and always in our hearts. The question plagues us as to why something difficult must befall us or another human being, when we are in the midst of suffering or see the suffering of others. The most critical pivot in those moments is to return to the words of Allah (SWT) and the reminder that is not meant to be far from our thoughts. For in the recognition of a most Merciful and Compassionate God exists the answers that we are so often seeking. Encompassed within His rahmah (mercy) is an implicit promise that whatever befalls us in this dunya, it is meant to be, and is, a blessing for us, even as we experience the test. As the one who has created us, we understand that He is closer to us than a mother is to her child. We are reminded in an authentic Sahih Muslim hadith that “Verily, Allah has one hundred portions of mercy. From one portion, the creation has been given mercy between themselves, and ninety-nine portions are reserved for the Day of Resurrection.”

    The Mercy of Allah (SWT) Is So Much Greater

    Imagine knowing that here on earth, the acts of kindness and mercy we see and engage in, such as feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, donating to charities, taking care of our families, and so much more, are just a tiny portion of Allah’s mercy towards His creation. In the beautiful narration of a situation witnessed by Aisha (RA), we see the mercy of a mother to her children and are in amazement of the fact that the mercy of Allah (SWT) is so much greater than that. “A woman entered, upon Aisha, with her two daughters, and she [Aisha] gave her three dates. [The woman] gave each of her daughters a date, then she split the last one between them. She [Aisha] said, ‘Then the Prophet (pbuh) came and I told him about that.’ He said,’ Why are you surprised? She will enter Paradise because of that.’” Although the mother herself was hungry, knowing that her daughters were also hungry, she willingly gave them the dates in an act of caring and compassion. We see glimpses of such mercy in humanity on a regular basis.

    The infinitely greater mercy of Allah (SWT) can be understood in the examples of His rahmah in forgiving our sins and in rewarding us for our repentance. We are reminded of the beautiful verse in the Quran which commands us to never despair of the mercy of Allah: “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful’” (39:53). When we give in to despair, it becomes easy to fall into a depression that questions the mercy of our Creator. If we find ourselves in this dark place, then it becomes very difficult to hold onto the hope of relief through repentance and forgiveness, and we may turn away from Allah. Yet, it is He who is Most Merciful and Most Compassionate, and in the darkest hour, we need the connection with our Creator the most.

    The Man Who Killed 100

    There is a hadith that beautifully illustrates the immeasurable mercy of Allah (SWT). Abu Said Al-Khudri (RA) reported that the Prophet said, “There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He [the monk] replied in the negative and the man killed him also, completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He [the scholar] replied in the affirmative and asked, `Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there are people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah; join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.’

    So, he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him, and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, ‘This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,’ and the angels of punishment argued, ‘He never did a virtuous deed in his life.’ Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, `Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.’ They measured and found him closer to the land [of piety] where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul” (Bukhari and Muslim). It is purely from the mercy of Allah (SWT) that his intention to do good was known and that the weight of that intention, by the measure of Allah’s compassion, carried him away from his past wrongdoings and towards mercy and forgiveness.

    In fact, rahmah comes from the same root in Arabic as rahm (womb). In a hadith qudsi, Allah SWT says, “I am al-Raḥman and created the rahm – and I named it after Me” (Ahmad). We know that the bond of the mother to her child is profound, and the love, kindness, and compassion she feels is sublime and awe-inspiring. Yet, the merciful Lord cares for those He has created more than a mother cares for her child, His rahmah so great and all-encompassing that it cannot be conceived fully by the human mind or experience.

    Prophet Muhammad: A Mercy to the Worlds

    The story of the first humans created, Adam and Eve, is also a story of repentance and rahmah and lays the foundation for our understanding of what it means to seek forgiveness and to always maintain our hope that despite our frailties and wrongdoings, that when we sincerely repent, Allah (SWT) will forgive us. The story of Adam and Eve is a lesson about repentance and forgiveness, and the centrality of rahmah in the design of life by Allah SWT. Extending that theme, the world was also sent Muhammad (pbuh) as a mercy for all mankind. We are reminded of this in the Quran: “Indeed, in this [Quran] is message for a worshiping people. And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds” (21:106-107).

    The mercy of the Prophet (pbuh) is evident in his actions with both those closest to him in his own family and those who were harshest with him from among the disbelievers. From being pelted with garbage and harassed in the streets, to being constantly cursed and belittled by the leaders of Quraysh, the Prophet (pbuh) never swayed from his mission to worship Allah (SWT) and to spread the message of Islam with mercy and compassion. There are many hadiths that document the demonstration of love, kindness, and mercy in the actions of the Prophet (pbuh). In Sunan Ibn Majah, Aisha (RA) narrated, “Some Bedouin people came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He said, ‘Yes’. They said, ‘But we, by Allah, never kiss [our children]’. The Prophet (pbuh) said, ‘What can I do if Allah has taken away mercy from you?’”

    Being merciful for the sake of Allah (SWT) includes actions that show genuine caring about the well-being of others. In a hadith, we are told the Prophet said, “…removing a harmful thing from the path is a charitable act” (Bukhari and Muslim). Such a simple act, removing a harmful item from the path of another, is a beneficial act of mercy for all, not in any way self-serving. In many situations where others may have reacted harshly, we again see the Prophet (pbuh) exhibiting the utmost rahmah. Anas bin Malik narrated, as recorded in Sahih Bukhari and Muslim, the following: “While we were in the Mosque with the Messenger of Allah, a Bedouin came and stood urinating in the Mosque. The companions of the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Stop it! Stop it!’ and were about to attack him. But the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Do not interrupt him; leave him alone.’ So, they left him until he had finished urinating, then the Messenger of Allah called him and said to him, ‘In these Mosques it is not right to do anything like urinating or defecating; they are only for remembering Allah, praying and reading Quran,’ or words to that effect. Then he commanded a man who was there to bring a bucket of water and throw it over [the urine], and he did so.”

    Recognizing that the Bedouin did not know any better, the Prophet (pbuh) showed him compassion and tolerance in response to his action in the masjid. Today, we often see things that are much less offensive in our masajid and yet we react with less tolerance and compassion. Such intolerant, condemning reactions only serve to alienate the person and make him defensive. The beauty of a merciful act and a merciful word can also be seen in the way the Prophet (pbuh) responded to the people of Taif who had treated him so badly and caused him great physical harm. When Jibreel (AS) told him Allah (SWT) could command the angels of the mountains surrounding Taif to crush the people therein as a punishment for their actions, the Prophet (pbuh) said “no” because he maintained hope that some of the offspring of the people of Taif would believe. And his hope was borne out and his rahmah was rewarded in seeing that day when the children of Taif and the grandchildren of Taif accepted Islam and became among the staunchest believers.

    Allah (SWT) Ordains that We Extend Mercy to Those on Earth

    While we may be well-acquainted with the narrations of the seerah and able to easily recognize the rahmah of the Prophet (pbuh) and the signs and manifestations of the rahmah of Allah (SWT) all around us, it can be difficult to consistently extend acts of mercy to those around us. When we view someone suffering today, often if the suffering feels very far away, we throw some money at the problem and hope that it will help in some way. But, truly living in a way that demonstrates caring, kindness, tolerance, and compassion requires that we take action, extending kindness also to those who are not of our own families or communities. In the reminder of the oft-repeated phrase that began this article, there exists a recognition that no matter what we experience in this dunya, there is a Merciful Lord who wants us to return to Him and who will see us through our most difficult trials. But in the midst of our lowest moments, it is also our own mercy, towards ourselves and others, that must lift us up and bring us closer to our Creator. To truly be a mercy, we must live according to the phrase “bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem,” and we must deepen our gratefulness to the most Merciful Creator; and we must celebrate His praises with “al-hamdulillahi Rabb il-alameen (praise be to God, Lord of the worlds).

    Let us always remember what the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the one in the heavens will have mercy upon you” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi).

  • El Islam, siempre presente en mi vida

    El Islam, siempre presente en mi vida

    Cuando era niño me gustaba sentarme en la orilla del mar y ver a los barcos pasar por Hatillo, Puerto Rico. Estaba tan fascinado con los navegantes de los océanos: los delfines, tiburones, tortugas marinas y esos enormes barcos que transportaban carga a todas las diferentes partes del mundo. No importaba a dónde fuera en Puerto Rico, siempre estábamos rodeados de agua. Una de mis primeras experiencias en un barco fue cuando viaje en La Lancha de Cataño desde el Viejo San Juan a Cataño y de regreso. Alhamdulillah, llegué a amar el mar y todo lo relacionado con él.

    Viajar por el mundo era uno de mis grandes sueños. A mi temprana edad estaba consciente de Dios, y sabía que Él había creado toda esta belleza que nos rodea, y quería verla con mis propios ojos en lugar de leer sobre ella en los libros. Entonces, un día viajé por primera vez a Europa. Puede visitar Inglaterra, Francia y España. Me tomó una eternidad ahorrar para ese viaje de seis meses. Sin embargo, a pesar del costo del viaje, pude quedarme con mis hermanos musulmanes o encontrar alojamiento económico.

    Mi tío, que era marinero mercante, viajaba por todo el mundo, y yo escuchaba de sus aventuras cuando venía de visita. Mi imaginación me transportaba a nuevos mundos mientras él describía los muchos lugares, paisajes, personas y culturas que había conocido. Un día, al fin, mi tío me preguntó si quería ser marino mercante y ver el mundo igual que él. Sin pensarlo dos veces, aproveché la oportunidad de ir al mar. Obtuve los papeles de marinero y mi primer viaje oficial fue a Cerdeña, Italia. Desde allá, navegamos por todo el mar Mediterráneo, y aunque mi trabajo era un puesto de nivel de entrada, disfrutaba cada minuto.

    Después de mi entrenamiento como marinero mercante, tuve la oportunidad de conducir súper petroleros. Me encantaba mi trabajo a nivel profesional, y tenía la libertad de orar cuando lo necesitaba y de comer de acuerdo con mi dieta islámica. Podía trabajar en cualquier lugar como marino mercante estadounidense, y muchas compañías solían volarme por todo el mundo durante mis años en el mar. Como miembro de S.I.U. (Seafarers International Union), mis derechos como marinero mercante estaban protegidos, y nadie me daba problemas por mi religión mientras estaba en el mar.

    A pesar de las experiencias positivas como marinero, mi vida ha sido difícil. Sin embargo, pude mantenerme enfocado en mis sueños y hacer todo lo posible para lograrlos porque siempre fueron parte de mi vida. Siento que el Islam también estuvo presente en mis juventud, a pesar de que no lo había conocido formalmente en ese tiempo. Cuando llegó a mi vida después de escuchar la Surah Al-Ikhlas, el capítulo de la sinceridad en el Corán, me di cuenta de que no hay nadie ni nada que merece ser adorado sino Alá. Me hice musulmán tres días después. El propósito de escribir un libro sobre mi vida, al que he llamado “De Harlem a La Meca”, es motivar a los hermanos y hermanas jóvenes que han tenido vidas difíciles para que nunca pierdan la esperanza.

    Ser puertorriqueño y musulmán siempre ha sido algo que me enorgullece. Como marinero mercante a bordo de un barco, tenía mi propia habitación privada con mi ducha privada y no tenía problemas para realizar oraciones diarias o cumplir con otras obligaciones religiosas. Me mantuve alejado de las zonas de guerra, especialmente en el Medio Oriente. En mi último viaje, el capitán me llamó a su lado y me pidió que llevara a un grupo de musulmanes puertorriqueños a Kuwait. La misión tomaría un mes. Se trataba de recoger la carga, transportar a los puertorriqueños y hacerlos sentir bienvenidos. Teníamos alojamientos hermosos para ellos y después de un día en el mar, insistieron en cocinar platos puertorriqueños. Una vez que obtuvimos la aprobación del capitán, nuestros invitados se convirtieron en cocineros durante tres semanas. ¡La comida era deliciosa! ¡Incluso habían traído plátanos! También pudimos hacer algunas paradas en Grecia y Ciprés para pasear un rato.

    Creo que he cumplido muchos de mis sueños, con mucho esfuerzo y dedicación. Realmente siento que soy parte de una comunidad, con toda mi familia latina musulmana y mi familia musulmana alrededor del mundo entero. En Estados Unidos, la comunidad latina musulmana está haciendo un excelente trabajo en propagar el mensaje del Islam en inglés y español. Que Alá los bendiga a todos. Sin embargo, todavía tenemos un gran trabajo por delante y agradecemos a Alá por todos nuestros hermanos y hermanas que pueden contribuir a este trabajo para traer paz y consuelo a la humanidad. Nos preocupamos profundamente por la humanidad y el bienestar de las personas dentro de nuestras comunidades en Estados Unidos y a nivel mundial. Debemos permanecer dedicados y dejar que la ayuda de Alá aumente nuestros esfuerzos. Y que Su misericordia descienda sobre los hombres, las mujeres y niños en todas partes.

    Yusef Maisonet es un musulmán latino que ha viajado por el mundo como marino mercante. Nació en la ciudad de Nueva York y visitó Europa, África, el Pacífico, Medio Oriente y más, mientras aprendía de las vibrantes y diversas comunidades musulmanas que viven allí.

    Ha servido como imán durante 12 años en Mobile, Alabama. También es capellán de los condenados a muerte y de la población carcelaria en general en Alabama. Trabaja activamente con la comunidad musulmana latina en su enfoque para difundir este hermoso mensaje del Islam. Pueden obtener su libro “De Harlem a La Meca” por Amazon.

  • My Journey to Islam

    My Journey to Islam

    I grew up in Winston-Salem, but most of my extended family is from Macall, South Carolina, and Richmond County, Scotland County, and Robeson County in North Carolina. My earliest memory as a child was when I was about four years old. A little white boy, dressed in a cowboy getup, took a big heavy stone and smashed it on my head because I was an Indian. He was older than me, maybe eight or nine years old. Another childhood memory is when I was in the cub scouts. There was a boy who was mad at me because I was an Indian, so he spat in my face. He did this in the church where we were meeting. My mother was very upset about it because the boy’s parents didn’t intervene and none of the adults did anything. His spitting in my face didn’t hurt me as much as seeing how much it upset my mother. She was crying and sped out of the parking lot spinning tires. Then, in middle school, whenever I put Native American on my documents, my teacher would tell me to put White because I would get more opportunities. But, my mother raised me to be proud that I am Indian.
    I use various names in reference to indigenous people depending on the context of the conversation. I prefer Pee Dee because that’s the name of my tribe. But, when my family is talking, we use Indian as a generic term. That’s what we have always used. I like the name First Americans. First Nations is usually in reference to tribes from Canada. Native, indigenous, and Indian are all acceptable names. It’s just a matter of context. My native blood is Pee Dee because my mother is registered as a Pee Dee Indian, but we have other blood as well, including Lumbee, Mansamon, Wakamaw, and Tuscarora. There are so many different tribes in North Carolina. The reason why there is so much mixed blood in my family in North Carolina is because this is one of the places where the English first came in contact with Natives. The English went to war with several tribes and had so many tribes fighting one another. So many died from disease and war. What was left were remnants of tribes. These remnants of people from my family came together in Bladen County, North Carolina and Marlboro County, South Carolina. This is where the Lumbee and Pee Dee Indian tribes are located today.

    Finding Islam

    I embraced Islam in 1990. How I came to Islam is a lengthy story. When I was a child, I was not very religious, but I believed in God. I had the idea there was truth to be found in the Bible, I believed in the Prophets, and I attended church. One day, I was imitating how holy roller preachers deliver their sermons. Then all of a sudden, the sky became dark and I began to feel a deep apprehension about what I was doing. I always had the question whether I was supposed to be worshipping God alone or Jesus. When I was in middle school, we had a substitute teacher who taught us about different religions. When he talked about Islam, he showed us how to make salaat (prayer). That day after school, I went home and looked up his number in the telephone book because I wanted to be Muslim, even though I was young, in seventh grade. I ended up not calling him. I guess I was worried about what my mother would think. Years later when I was in high school, I was a big fan of rap music. Alhamdulillah (all praise is due to Allah), back then rap music was more conscious. Some rap artists even talked about Islam. I remember there was one group who said something about accepting Islam as the truth. I knew that Islam was the truth. I knew that in my heart. I would be at home at night and I would have private conversations with God (that is how I described it at the time). I would ask God whether I should worship Him or worship Jesus. This question was addressed to God, not to Jesus. I have never prayed to Jesus in my life. Those rappers saying that Islam was the truth caused me to go out and search. I began going to the public library. I started at my school library which had one or two books on Islam. Then I went to the public library and they too had very few books. None of the books answered my questions about Islam. Fortunately, one of my teachers at school, Fleming El-Amin, was a Muslim, a man who I greatly respected. During the summer of 1990, we had a college preparatory program at Winston-Salem State University. Mr. El-Amin was one of the teachers and he let me borrow his Quran. Another Muslim brother, Husayn Abdur Rafi, gave me literature to read about Islam. The Quran and the other literature answered some of my questions. I then started going to the masjid and speaking with the Imam. Soon after that, I was convinced of the truth of Islam, so I declared my shahadah (declaration of faith).

    When I became Muslim, I was treated differently by my mother, an Indian Christian. She asked me, “How are you going to be Muslim and be Indian at the same time?” I asked her that since she was an Indian and Christian, why would my being an Indian and Muslim be a problem. I was asked the same question my mother had asked me by the chief of my tribe, a Christian preacher. His daughter told him that he couldn’t discriminate against me because I was a Muslim, that I was still Indian. Many Indians look at someone being Indian and Muslim as unacceptable, as a contradiction in terms. I first realized there were other Indians who were Muslims when I read a Message International magazine article online in 1996, “Digging for the Red Roots.” But I couldn’t find other Native Muslims until I ran across a Yahoo chat group online in 2001. The group was run by a Muslim Native who worked with Islamic Relief. There were more non-Native Muslims in the group than Native Muslims. The non-Natives were very open to the Native Muslims and interested in their stories of finding Islam.

    Indian Muslims in the U.S. Today

    Indian Muslims today in the United States are still relatively few, and a greater number are found in Canada. In Mexico, there are many persons of Native descent who have become Muslims. The group (http://turtleisland.muslims.tripod.com) that we have now, Turtle Island Muslims (Turtle Island is a Native American term for the North American continent), is a mix of Muslim and non-Muslim Natives and non-Natives who are Muslim or non-Muslim. There are approximately 160 people in the group, with around 30 Natives. We discuss everything related to Islam and Natives. The purpose of the group is to introduce Natives to Islam and Muslims to Natives, to have an open and welcoming space where everybody is free to participate.
    Information about the history of Natives in Islam is relatively obscure. You hear about things like Abu Bakari II from Mali coming to the Americas in 1300, and Sheikh Abdullah Hakim Quick has written about Muslims in the Americas long before European explorers. These little tidbits are about all that we get and there is not much that we can connect to specific tribes. It was interesting when I did my own family genealogy. I knew about Frances Drake dropping Muslims off on an island off the coast of the Carolinas. These were African and Arab Muslims who were never picked up or accounted for. If those who were abandoned followed the river inland, they would have ended up right where my tribe, Pee Dee Indians, was located. I have heard of a Muslim genealogist who is able to connect members of my tribe to the Melungeon in Tennessee. I, myself, have African blood and Arab blood. I have been able to connect one Muslim ancestor to my family. This goes back to 1630, to a Muslim, Sayyan Lovina. His wife was Native, and her name was Jean Tucker. Professor N. Brent Kennedy did a lot of research on the Melungeon and Sayyan Lovina, who was known as Sayyan the Turk. He was sold as a slave by the Portuguese. Sayyan was so highly respected that he was allowed to be a witness to contracts even though he was a slave. He eventually won his freedom. When I became Muslim, I thought that perhaps I had Muslim ancestors. It was just a feeling that I had. Maybe these Muslims ancestors prayed like Prophet Yacub (Jacob) that their progeny be Muslim. I used to think about these things even though I didn’t expect to be able to connect myself to a Muslim ancestor.

    One of the things I find is that many Muslims believe that all Indians believe in the Great Spirit and share the same language and culture. What they don’t realize is that these are very distinct nations. In North Carolina there were tribes living side by side who spoke different languages and couldn’t understand each other. The Indian culture was very diverse. In modern times, we basically share American culture, giving us many more commonalities. But, when it comes to our Native culture, it is much more distinct.

    Dawah Outreach to the Indigenous Peoples

    There have been Islamic organizations who have tried to help Natives in this country, Islamic Relief being one such organization. ICNA was active in helping the Natives at Standing Rock. I wish that there were more dawah to Natives. But, at the same time, there are over 200 tribes across the U.S. Some of these tribes are federally recognized while others are recognized only by the state they are located in, if at all. We also have a lot of urban Indians. The people on the Red Butte Sioux reservation in South Dakota have a difficult time in their lives. When you hear about the poverty that they endure, it is easy to recognize that they need our help.
    Dawah is desperately needed in the Native communities. In fact, many Natives live in rural and isolated areas where they may never encounter a Muslim. Many Natives that I know became Muslim because of their interaction with Muslims. Without that interaction with Muslims, they know nothing about Islam and are cut off from such a profound blessing.

  • Tailoring Programs to Meet the Needs of Underserved Muslim Youth

    Tailoring Programs to Meet the Needs of Underserved Muslim Youth

    It is common to enter the masjid and see adults over thirty and small children under the age of ten. However, unless a concerted effort is made to offer youth programming, it is unusual to see teens and young adults spending their time there. In this difficult sociopolitical environment where Islamophobia is rampant, kids are being bullied, and political candidates are spewing hateful rhetoric, it is imperative that we make our masajid youth-friendly, a place where they can be educated and feel included, empowered, and gain a sense of belonging.

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was not only aware of the vitality and strength of young Muslims, but he made sure to harness that energy to build a better Muslim community. He gave responsible youth positions of leadership; he interacted with them in a down-to-earth manner, making a point to not only listen to them but to take their suggestions, and to praise them for their contributions in front of their peers and elders. Many masajid are seeing the need for youth programming and stepping up to fill that void. It is important to keep in mind that just like the rest of the American Muslim community, American Muslim youth are a diverse group. They cannot be painted with the same broad brush. They have varying backgrounds, experiences, and needs. Not all of these needs are being met in the typical Muslim community.

    The Family and Youth Institute (The FYI) is a research and education nonprofit that conducts original research on Muslim youth and families to enable the ummah to know the issues they face, make necessary changes, and benefit from the information they provide. They compiled some of their research on Muslim youth in a comprehensive report in 2015. According to the report, American Muslim youth contain many subgroups that have been underserved by their communities. In order to better support these youth, it is important to understand who they are and tailor programs and efforts to their needs. Four subgroups highlighted in the report include: young American Muslim women, African American Muslim youth, convert Muslim youth, and refugee youth. They each have specific challenges and strengths that require special consideration.

    Young American Muslim Women

    Aliya is an outspoken and intelligent young lady. She holds student council and yearbook leadership positions at her middle school and often voices her ideas and concerns. On Fridays, when her parents take her to the masjid, she enters with her mom through a small side entrance to the dark and dingy area dedicated for women. The khutba and all extra spiritual opportunities are directed towards the “brothers” and she doesn’t see any place where she can be involved. Often times she leaves the prayer wondering if this is even a place where she belongs.

    Given the developmental importance of having a sense of belonging during adolescence and early adulthood, the lack of inclusion often results in young women seeking support and a sense of belonging elsewhere. Young American Muslim women have their own unique struggles which need to be understood and addressed. One particular issue discussed in The FYI report involves concerns and confusion surrounding their place in the masjid as determined by cultural narratives. There are many communities even today in which cultural interpretations of Islam prevent women from actively participating in community life. Some masajid discourage women from even attending congregational prayer, while others delegate women to a small back room, typically a cramped, confining space. Many prevent them from having leadership positions. In many masajid, khutbas and speeches are directed towards the men and women are usually not part of the congregational discourse. When they are discussed, it is often in relation to others (as mothers, daughters and wives) rather than independent beings serving God like their male peers.

    This is in direct contrast to community life during the time of the Prophet (pbuh). He informed Muslim males not to prevent women from coming to the masjid. He sought female companions’ advice on matters of the state and he gave them time and attention to help them develop their spirituality. In many regards, the Prophet (pbuh) helped to empower women, and this resulted in the development of strong female role models and active participants in Muslim community life. For example, Aisha bint Abu Bakr not only possessed great knowledge but took an active part in education and social reform. She was the teacher of many of the learned companions of the Prophet (pbuh).

    Similar to Aliya’s story, the current inability or unwillingness of many Muslim communities to provide an inclusive and empowering environment for young women often results in them feeling unimportant or unwelcome in mosques. In a 2013 study by The Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), exploring women’s participation in US mosques, the majority of mosques (86 percent) were rated as “fair” to “poor” in terms of being female-friendly, and only 4 percent of mosques in America reported programming for women as a priority. Many young women are unable to differentiate between Islamic principles and their masjid’s specific interpretation of Islam, and as a result they feel frustrated, spiritually disconnected, disempowered and alienated.

    Another issue mentioned in the report deals with that of hijab. Adolescence is the period when young women may first consider wearing hijab. The decision to wear or not to wear it has differing implications depending on the young woman’s environment. For example, one young woman may decide to wear hijab per religious mandate and report the experience as empowering, but her decision may result in stressful parental or family objections. Another young woman may choose not to wear hijab, which may result in experiencing marginalization by her community. Some young women report disliking societal association of hijab as a symbol of oppression. Some express being overwhelmed by the implicit responsibility of being a representative of Islam in a non-Muslim society. In addition, some young women worry about their ability to get a job if they wear hijab or report fear of emotional or physical harm, particularly amidst today’s anti-Islamic political rhetoric and widespread Islamophobia. These unique concerns, decisions, and need for support are crucial to the development of young American Muslim women. Communities need to have an open forum for discussion of these important issues.

    In addition, some young women are given mixed messages from their families and communities; they are encouraged to be outspoken about their rights within mainstream society but not to push the status quo within their religious and cultural communities. Recently, some young women have begun asserting themselves, trying to change the current narrative through leadership positions and advocating for increased programming and space within mosques and other religious organizations. Others are empowering themselves through the use of social media and using it as a platform to connect with other women and push for community conversations. The same study found that more women showed up for events at mosques where there existed female board members, female speakers were included for events, and attractive women’s prayer spaces accommodated them. Women were happy to spend their talents and expertise in the mosques where they felt at home and welcome. Muslim communities need to make an effort to open doors of opportunity for these dedicated and talented young women to both receive from and give back to their community.

    African American Muslim Youth

    Jamaal felt passionately about the Black Lives Matter movement and the need to end widespread racism and police brutality against African Americans. He brought this up to his Muslim youth group and suggested a fundraiser and community dinner to address the issue. It fell on deaf ears and another fundraising dinner for Palestine was planned instead. This conveyed to him that Palestinians but not African Americans were “our people and our problem.”

    African American Muslims are considered to be the largest percentage of native born Muslims in the United States. African American Muslim youth are a diverse group – living in different social and structural contexts, and having varying experiences depending on a number of factors. Whether they were born Muslim or converted, live in urban, suburban, or rural environments, attend an immigrant or African American religious community, and their religious congregation’s ideological understanding and practice of Islam all influence the youth’s development. However, across the board, African American youth’s social context is highly influenced by race.

    Institutional racism in America is clearly a problem, as evidenced by African American males, young and old, being disproportionately profiled, over-policed, arrested, and incarcerated. One in three African American men can expect to go to prison in their lifetime. African American youth are not immune to these experiences, and in fact, likely have a great effect on their day-to-day lives. Images of African Americans in the media and entertainment industries reinforces negative stereotypes and have an impact on the self-concept and identity of African American youth. The Black Lives Matter movement has recently been able to highlight the issue of police brutality against African Americans and increase its public exposure. Muslims must be at the forefront of this movement, as Islam stands against all oppression and senseless violence. Social justice and standing up to systematic oppression is a rich part of American Muslim history we must all embrace.

    Ongoing institutional racism has also resulted in a disproportionate number of African Americans experiencing poverty. The 2012 US census results found that the median family income for African American families was $39,988 compared to $67,892 for white families. Socioeconomic factors may have a direct or indirect profound impact on the development of African American Muslim youth. Financial stability, parental stress, housing and neighborhood options, and quality of education are all factors that impact the developmental outcomes of young people.

    Unfortunately, African American Muslims also often experience racism from within the greater Muslim community – both in the form of unforgivable name calling (“abeed,” the Arabic word for “slave”) as well as indirectly, such as assuming the person has limited knowledge of Islam based on their skin color. Recently the hashtag #BlackinMSA on twitter encouraged young African American Muslims to bring to light their negative Muslim Student Association experiences, and unfortunately these incidents are all too common and pervasive. Their stories are painful to read and highlight the isolation and mistreatment African American Muslim students have felt from their Muslim peers. We seem to have forgotten the words of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in his final sermon: “O people! Your God is one and your forefather (Adam) is one. An Arab is not better than a non-Arab and a non-Arab is not better than an Arab, and a white person is not better than a black person and a black person is not better than a white person, except in piety” (narrated in Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal).

    Thus, African American Muslim youth experience stigmatization due to both religious and racial identification on multiple levels. The shared history, racial struggles, societal experiences, and socioeconomic conditions may result in African American youth identifying with their non-Muslim African American peers more than their immigrant Muslim peers. Ignoring or failing to address racial injustice and take action to reduce it in the community can only result from underestimating its negative impact on the lives of African American Muslim youth, as well as impeding efforts to meet their unique needs.

    Young Muslim Converts

    It had been five years since Bryan accepted Islam and entered his Muslim community. And yet, it was Ramadan again and here he sat at iftar time, in front of his television, with his frozen dinner, eating alone. He had attended the community iftar at the Masjid the night before but found himself eating alone there too, as people of like cultures banded together. He figured if he was going to be eating alone, he might as well be in the comfort of his own home.

    About 25 percent of American Muslims are converts. Adolescence and early adulthood is a period often associated with self-exploration and this process may inspire a young person to convert to Islam. Young Muslim converts are susceptible to experiencing negative outcomes due to the loss of support from parents and relatives, and former friends, resulting in a critical unmet social need. Unfortunately, very little is known about the impact of conversion during adolescence and early adulthood on the young person’s development. Current research highlighted in The FYI report suggests that developmental issues unique to this subgroup include: disruption within the family context, lack of social support or mentorship, and challenges integrating into the Muslim community.

    The decision to convert to Islam often results in the disruption of the parent-child relationship. Parental reaction may range from lukewarm support to forcible removal from the parents’ home. The change in belief system, dress and lifestyle may cause tension, resulting in some cases of loss of support from parents and former friends. Unlike older converts, many adolescents and young adults may still be physically, financially, and emotionally dependent on their parents. Hence, the impact of this loss is much greater and deeper.

    As a result of this family disruption, new social support networks, a sense of belonging, integration and re-creation of a strong bond becomes particularly critical for convert Muslim youth. Unfortunately, most converts report limited social support from their Muslim community. Ramadan, Eid, and holidays associated with their former religion were reported as being a lonely time, resulting in feelings of marginalization. Ramadan is the most social month of the Muslim year, with family and friends often gathering over lavish evening meals. But many American converts to Islam break their fast alone, often in front of the TV. Those who did feel supported indicated they were “adopted” by individual families. These “family connections” served as a major source of support and helped with integration and connection within the Muslim community.

    Many young converts reported a need for mentors who understand their intersecting social identities to help them with their life challenges. Some converts are forming their own groups, one of which is Ta’leef Collective. Founded as a resource for new Muslims and prospective converts, Ta’leef runs classes, discussions, and support groups. Its headquarters are in Fremont, California, but it opened a Chicago chapter in 2012. Additionally, there are small discussion groups popping up in “third-spaces” in large cities such as New York and Washington, DC to gather and share resources and build community.

    Many converts also encounter struggles in their personal lives that require proper support. Many convert youth report struggling to channel their sexual energy after conversion. They now need to alter their previous behaviors – such as gender interaction, dating, and premarital sex. They may try to marry quickly to protect themselves from temptation. Converts also report difficulty with the marriage process due to lack of opportunities to meet potential mates, lack of support system to assist in the search, and potential spouses’ family objections due to concerns regarding implications of marrying a convert. Often times female converts are pursued for citizenship purposes rather than as genuine life partners.

    Experiences may differ based on the individual’s cultural background and the community into which they are attempting to integrate. One study reports that African American converts often believed that white converts received preferential treatment. White converts, on the other hand, often see themselves as a “community trophy.” As one shared: I think more than anything you’re kinda like a mascot…people are proud to like parade you around as a white convert or show you off, and, without ever really getting to know you.

    White women, particularly, who choose to wear hijab may experience more difficulty transitioning as they feel the loss of their societal white privilege. Female Muslim converts are particularly mischaracterized by the media, which portrays them as brainwashed, weak-willed, and easily misled by Muslim men. Deanna Othman writes that the female Muslim convert “provides a spectacle for the public to shake their heads at because she is a tragic character, and her tragic flaw is her conversion” to Islam. When young American Muslim converts are not supported through these trials and provided with a much needed social network, they often stop coming to the mosque all together and may even leave the religion.

    Refugee Muslim Youth

    Ameera sat on the floor in the corner of the small apartment, wishing that she were still in Syria before the war struck. She missed her friends and cousins and their fun days laughing in the garden. She missed the family gatherings that went late into the night and the large spread of food her mama used to cook. Most of all, she missed the peace and contentment her heart had felt before the war and the sleep that used to come so easily…

    As the political conflicts continue throughout the world, increasing numbers of refugees from predominantly Muslim countries are arriving in the United States. Refugee Muslim youth experience unique struggles as they attempt to integrate into the US. Understanding their individual and family experiences during the migratory process (pre-migration, asylum seeking, and resettlement stages) will be critical in assessing the impact on the individual’s development, identifying potential risks, and developing appropriate interventions. In addition, mental health, social disruption, and educational challenges have to be considered when trying to promote youth development in this subgroup.

    American Muslim refugee youth who have witnessed or been victims of violence may report problems processing these traumatic events. Their experiences may result in developmental delays, difficulties managing emotions, or poor academic performance. They may experience higher incidence of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. They are more likely to report survivor’s guilt, a pessimistic outlook on life, and suicidal ideation. Often they may exhibit a developmental regression such as bedwetting, or they may report difficulty concentrating in class. In addition, traumatic experiences may result in the formation of negative thoughts and expectations about themselves, others, the world, and their future. This can impact the young person’s ability to form meaningful attachments and develop a social support network.

    The lack of trust in institutions and the future also complicates young refugees’ educational experiences. Many live in areas with poor school districts with overcrowded classrooms that have limited resources. There is often inadequate funding for language acquisition programs and this, coupled with racism and xenophobia, increase the difficulty of transition. Refugee youth that have experienced multiple losses, financial stress, lack of parental monitoring/availability, lack of social support network, and untreated psychological wounds may have an increased likelihood to engage in high risk behaviors. Unfortunately, the needs of this subgroup often go unnoticed and are therefore minimally supported by their community.

    The field of research on American Muslim youth is still evolving, and there are many questions that need to be explored and answered. Continued research is needed in order to understand the varying subgroups, their challenges, and how to better meet their needs. The current knowledge can be used by parents, as well as educational and religious institutions to form religiously, culturally, and developmentally relevant programs for young people, families, mentors, organizations, and mosques. By fulfilling the unmet needs of these underserved Muslim youth subgroups, and Muslim youth in general, we can hope, insha’Allah, to more effectively promote positive development of American Muslim youth. Individuals interested in additional information can find resources at The Family and Youth Institute’s website: www.thefyi.org

  • Preparing Youth for Success in Life, Service, and Leadership

    Preparing Youth for Success in Life, Service, and Leadership

    Looking metaphorically at the phenomenon of the “butterfly effect,” wherein, theoretically, the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in Japan could cause a tornado in Texas, it is likewise conceivable that the humble efforts of a single youth could positively and dramatically change the world. Despite this plausible reality, oftentimes we hear youth saying, “I’m young, what can I do?” Instead, perhaps, they should say,” I’m young—with the help of Allah (SWT)—what can’t I do?”

    We must provide constructive programs and outlets for youth to come together, discuss common struggles and challenges, and through specific projects, make a positive contribution to their communities

    It appears that our youth are not aware of the substantial role played by young people in Islamic history. Prophet lbrahim, for example, was a young man who challenged the disbelievers and destroyed their idols; at the age of 10, Ali ibn Abi Talib was the first male to accept Islam; Umair ibn Abi Waqqas joined the Battle of Badr around the age of 15; and Aisha (RA), who became the wife of the Prophet, narrated many hadith and was a leader in her own right during her youth.

    Devaluing the Potential Contributions of Youth

    It’s not only youth that underestimate themselves, but community leaders underestimate them as well. Muslim community leaders must realize the vital importance of youth and view them as valuable resources, rather than spoiled youngsters with little to offer, requiring video games and constant entertainment/stimuli to hold their interest. In fact, youth is the

    stage of life during which individuals are most enthusiastic, energetic, creative, open to learning, and physically strong. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran, “Allah is He who created you of weakness, then He appointed after weakness strength, then after strength He appointed weakness and grey hair…” (Quran 30:54). It is in the best interest of our communities to re-evaluate the strength and value of our youth, contemplate the substantial contributions they can make, and do our best to prepare them for success, service, and leadership.

    Mass Media Seek to Indoctrinate Youth

    The general society unquestionably values youth as a commodity. In fact, society elites and predatory marketers and advertisers recognize the intrinsic value of youth and spend a great deal of time and money to manipulate and control their behavior and shape their identity.

    Youth are not just the future; they can, today, be the endowment of our commitment and their own, benefiting and improving their own lives and that of their families, but also that of ummah and society

    In an article, “How Disney Magic and the Corporate Media Shape Youth Identity in the Digital Age,” author Henry J. Giroux writes, “Youth are now assaulted by a never-ending proliferation of marketing strategies that colonize their consciousness and daily lives…[i]n what has become the most ‘consumer-oriented society in the world,’…. youth now inhabit a cultural landscape in which, increasingly, they can only recognize themselves in terms preferred by the market. Multi-billion-dollar media corporations, with a commanding role over commodity markets as well as support from the highest reaches of government, have become the primary educational and cultural force in shaping, if not hijacking, how youth define their interests, values and relations to others.” For this reason, community leaders and parents need to be active players in this struggle to influence the hearts and minds of youth.

    Exemplary Youth Inspire Peers to Strengthen Iman

    Without exemplary youth providing a good example and positive peer influence, Muslim youth are left hanging in the balance. Popular culture with all its many vices are a continuous temptation and distraction for youth, and Muslim youth do not live in a vacuum. If they are not provided positive Islamic experience and acculturation, they will be susceptible to any and all negative influences from non-Muslim friends, popular culture, mass media, and profit-motivated advertisers. Youth leaders, in conjunction with more mature individuals in their communities, are needed to reach out to the youth and provide constructive programs and outlets for youth to come together, discuss common struggles and challenges, and through specific projects, make a positive contribution to their communities. Also, within this climate of Islamophobia, youth need, more than ever, the inner strength that comes from adequate Islamic knowledge and personal confidence. They can then stand tall against those in society who feel justified in hating and criticizing them because of their association with Islam.

    Youth Disenfranchised from Our Communities

    Obviously, youth who are disenfranchised and disconnected from the masjid and Islamic community run a greater risk of becoming wandering invisible Muslims who discard their Islamic practice and potentially stop identifying as Muslim altogether. Muslim youth who are not at the masjid are also not in some empty room staring at the walls. No, they are busy somewhere doing something.

    The reasons for youth being absent from the masjids vary. A few years ago, at a sisters’ halaqa, I met some new sisters and began talking about the community needs, etc. During the conversation, one sister mentioned that there were some Muslim youth and adults who were attending churches because they “provided better programs and activities.” I thought I had “heard everything,” but this revelation was unexpected and, unfortunately, true. If a masjid becomes merely a place to hold the five daily prayers and jumah, then it really is not providing the essential services needed to sustain a healthy, vibrant community.

    Another reason youth don’t regularly visit the masjids is because they don’t feel they are stakeholders and haven’t been empowered to make a significant contribution. Youth have a lot to offer their communities. It is time for masjid boards to show confidence in their youth, invite the older youth and young adults to join the masjid board, and empower them to reach out to other youth and develop programs to benefit the youth and the community at large.

    In order to attract youth to the masjid, activities must be provided that are interesting and stimulating to them. Comprehensive programs for them are needed and can be developed gradually. However, initially attracting them can be accomplished by having youth organize and advertise youth sports tournaments with pizza parties and ice cream socials. After that, the youth themselves can recommend other programs that interest them and keep them active in the masjid.

    “It takes a Village”— Parent and Community Partnership

    Preparing youth to succeed in their lives, to contribute to society, and to take on leadership responsibilities, requires that they have a deeper understanding of Islam. After learning the basic beliefs, the five pillars, surahs from the Quran, a collection of hadith, and other requisite Islamic knowledge — they should then attempt to understand some deeper Islamic concepts. A deeper understanding of Islam is a blessing from Allah (SWT). The Prophet (pbuh) said, “When Allah wishes good for a person, He causes him to understand the religion” (Bukhari).

    Parents and communities should form a partnership to provide children and youth the requisite Islamic knowledge necessary to become dynamic and successful members of the community and society. The partnership includes combining resources and disseminating Islamic information and training through full time Islamic schools, Sunday schools, masjid halaqas for youth, as well as workshops, visiting lecturers, and parent-guided educational activities. Ultimately it is the parent’s role to manage the logistics of providing their children and youth knowledge and Islamic leadership training —but they can utilize both home resources and community resources to obtain the desired outcomes. Knowledge is the foundation of religious commitment, and central to Islamic success, and for leadership. Whether it is spiritual or academic, it is essential, and Allah (SWT) will Insha’Allah make the knowledge sought attainable. The prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever treads a path in seeking knowledge, Allah will make easy for him the path to Paradise” (Al-Tirmidhi).

    Helping Youth Understand Purpose and Meaning of Life

    Youth need to strive to better understand the purpose and meaning of life and how that relates to living as a Muslim and seeking to attain Paradise. Allah (SWT) tells us, “I created the jinn and humankind that they might worship Me” (Quran 51:56). Likewise, youth should be guided to contemplate the “test” of life. Allah (SWT) has taught that the creation of the heavens and the earth and of life and death is to test mankind. Allah (SWT) says, “And He it is Who has created the heavens and the earth in six Days and His Throne was over the water, that He might try which of you is the best in conduct. But if you were to say to them, ‘You shall indeed be raised up after death,’ those who disbelieve would be sure to say, ‘This is nothing but obvious magic.’” (Quran 11:7). Along the same lines, youth should also contemplate the meaning of true success in this world and realize that success is not measured by material possessions but by one’s good deeds and earning the pleasure of Allah (SWT). The deep study of Islam is a life-long endeavor, and both parents and the community should motivate youth to continuously expand their knowledge and understanding.

    Helping Youth Understand the Importance of Time

    Youth should realize time is one of the most precious resources on earth — and it is fleeting. A person can have all their worldly possessions taken from them, and spend many years working hard to replace what they lost. But time is one precious resource that can never be replaced. Every second that ticks away is gone forever. Surah Al-Asr should be studied and understood as it relates to life and the value of time. Allah (SWT) says, “By time, verily man is in loss, except such as have faith, and do righteous deeds, and [join together] in the mutual teaching of truth, and of patience and constancy” (Quran 103:1-3).

    There are certain major time wasters that should be cautioned against and avoided in order to better value time. Activities like spending hour after hour watching TV, playing video games, or being glued to a smart phone on social media can be detrimental, if not done in moderation and after other, more important activities have been fulfilled. Let’s say some youth spent six hours a day combining TV, video games, and social media. Doing the math, we calculate that they are spending 2,190 hours or nearly three full months over the period of a year. This is a startling figure. There are so many better ways to spend one’s time which could truly bring benefit such as reading and memorizing Quran, attending a halaqa, participating in sports-centered recreational activities with fellow Muslims, cleaning the masjid, and studying and increasing one’s knowledge. The Prophet (pbuh) has said, “Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth before you become old; your health before you fall sick; your wealth before you become poor; your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death” (Al Hakim and Musnad Ahmad).

    Helping Youth Prepare Academically and Intellectually

    Academics are an important part of training youth, and striving for excellence is one of the qualities of a good Muslim, contributing member of society, and leader. With regard to academics, youth should be life-long learners and always strive for excellence in their studies. They should be conscientious towards their school work, and when necessary, seek out the help of tutors to help them master challenging subject matter. By being an exemplary student, a Muslim improves the image of Muslims in society, and that is a form of indirect dawah. Regardless of whether they attend an Islamic school, public school, or college, they should have good character and lead by example. In addition, if students are focusing on beneficial activities like studying in their free time, then they should have no trouble excelling in school and becoming adequately prepared for any field of employment. This spirit of striving for excellence is a practice that is essential to all personal endeavors, family life, career, civic participation, and, of course, religious practice.

    Helping Youth Prepare Physically

    Overall heath is an important aspect of helping youth prepare for a successful life, for dedication to activism and contribution, and for leadership. The Prophet (pbuh) encouraged certain physical fitness activities like swimming, archery, and horseback riding. So in general, a variety of sports and fitness activities including joining a sports team and regular exercise could be beneficial in keeping oneself healthy and active. A highly recommended activity conducted by some Muslim communities is organizing children and youth competitive flag football and soccer leagues which is beneficial both socially and physically. In addition, it is important to teach youth to eat healthy from a young age. If a child or youth has a weight problem, then parents can take a more active role by not bringing unhealthy foods into the home, and not only modeling and encouraging healthy eating, but also providing an adequate amount of physical fitness activities for their child or youth.

    Helping Youth Choose Friends Wisely and Practice Kindness and Inclusiveness

    Peer pressure is very powerful, and negative peer pressure can lead our youth down the wrong paths. The prophet (pbuh) has said, “The comparison of a good friend and a bad friend is like a perfume seller and a blacksmith. The perfume seller will give you the gift of perfume or you can enjoy its fragrance. The blacksmith will either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his bad smell” (Bukhari and Muslim). The best of youth are leaders, not followers, and they are very careful of the company they keep. The Prophet (pbuh) was asked, “Which of our companions are best?” He replied, “One whose appearance reminds you of Allah, and whose speech increases you in knowledge, and whose actions remind you of the hereafter.”

    In addition, youth should understand the importance of inclusiveness and kindness towards all others including those who are new in the community or of different races or backgrounds. Youth should also be reminded to offer salaams, especially to those who are new, and find ways to focus on similarities rather than differences with those whom they are unfamiliar.

    Helping Youth Prepare for Service and Activism

    The best way to prepare our youth for service and activism is to, ourselves, be committed to service and activism. This starts with a frequent presence at the masjid, conveying that the masjid is our second home. We set the example by always looking for ways to improve things, to organize, to keep the masjid clean. And we approach this with an attitude of taking initiative, not waiting for someone to ask us to do something, but doing so for the sake of Allah (SWT).

    Being balanced and committed Muslims who not only serve the Muslim community, but the greater community at large, helps prepare our youth, through example, for service and activism. We have to engage with the greater community and strive to include our youth in these activities, like volunteering at soup kitchens, visiting with seniors at senior citizen homes, and participating in dawah activities to convey better understanding of Islam to the general public.

    Helping Youth Realize that Their Best Role Model is Prophet Muhammad (p)

    It is human nature to be enchanted with heroes and winners. The unfortunate reality is that some Muslim youth know more about the lives of sports stars and celebrities than our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). We have to help our youth realize that there is no better role model than Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Our Prophet was a mercy for humankind, and the best example of human maturity, fairness, caring, and spiritual success; and his message and example is available for posterity.

    By doing all we can to help our youth prepare for success, for service, and for leadership, we fulfill our responsibilities as parents and active community members. Youth are not just the future; they can, today, be the endowment of our commitment and their own, benefiting and improving their own lives and that of their families, but also that of their communities, the ummah, and society at large.

  • A Day Trip to the Kaaba: The Ultimate Privilege and an Absolute Blessing

    A Day Trip to the Kaaba: The Ultimate Privilege and an Absolute Blessing

    At seven in the morning I would step out of my house into glorious sunshine and board the bus with my neighbours, who were also my colleagues, my friends, and my newly adopted family. In a state of Ihram and donned in two pieces of white cloth, the men would take the front of the bus. The women would be armed with their prayer beads and supplies of breakfast snacks as we yet again shared our overwhelming awe of being absorbed in the present moment: a day trip to the glorious Kaaba.

    We were a group of British and South African teachers living out an adventure in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The reasons to emigrate were many, but the common thread was our desire to be within close proximity to our spiritual home. The frustrations and stresses of working within a Saudi system paled in comparison to standing in front of the Kaaba, or in front of the beloved Prophet Muhammed’s (peace be upon him) grave and amongst thousands of worshippers who shared the same desire and passion to immerse themselves in contemplation of the oneness of God — escaping from the earthly world and into the ephemeral where the human heart can find complete rest and tranquillity.

    Words cannot convey the immensity of gratitude that ran through me each time I visited the two holy cities. Inevitably, large crowds of worshippers brought with them many challenges that had to be overcome; patience, respect, and understanding were all part of the process in ensuring that the full benefits of the Umrah trips were gained. However, during periods when international visas were closed, uninterrupted meditations were an absolute blessing. I would place my hands on the wall of the Kaaba fully absorbed in the moment. Deep in heartfelt prayers, I had the privileged opportunity to pray for all of humanity. From my late father who passed away prematurely from pancreatic cancer to the stranger who laboured endlessly to fund his child’s education, I asked Allah to grant them all peace in this world and the hereafter.

    Medina was a more relaxed experience compared to Mecca, and during the periods of closed visas, it offered an even more incredible opportunity to feel the love of the beloved prophet (pbuh). Through the blessings of Allah, I could sit close to the Prophet’s grave, taking my time in offering the two rakats of prayer and simply absorbing the immense strength of spirituality that seemed to have a unique and powerful vibe exclusively reserved for the city of Medina.

    My one year stay in Jeddah was an eclectic mix of experiences. Frustration, anger, and disappointment was balanced out with inspiring nature and beautiful friendships. But my greatest motivation was always my deep desire to be spiritually moved, to be fully absorbed into a world of prayer where only God exists. Mecca and Medina fulfilled this desire, and as I sit in my home in the UK watching the autumn change into winter, I cannot express enough gratitude for the blessings of having said time and time again, “Let’s go for a day trip to the Kaaba!”

    It is narrated on the authority of the amir al-muminin (leader of the believers), Abu Hafs Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him), who said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), say, ‘Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended. Whoever migrates with an intention for Allah and His messenger, the migration will be for the sake of Allah and his Messenger. And whoever migrates for worldly gain or to marry a woman, then his migration will be for the sake of whatever he migrated for’” (Bukhari and Muslim).

  • Want Your Child to Grow in Confidence, Maturity, and Responsibility?

    Want Your Child to Grow in Confidence, Maturity, and Responsibility?

    Want Your Child to Grow in Confidence, Maturity, and Responsibility?

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “Make [things] easy, not difficult…” (Bukhari). He (pbuh) also said, “Woe to those who exaggerate [who are too strict]!”(Bukhari). He (pbuh) also said: “Moderation, moderation! For only with moderation will you succeed” (Muslim).

    Authoritarian Parenting
    • Parents’ role comes across to the children as despotic (absolute and dictatorial power over the child)
    • Strict rules and expectations which tend to be rigid and inflexible
    • Children are expected to be unconditionally obedient and unquestioning of parental demands
    • Parents feel it is their right to be respected by the child regardless of their own behavior; little or no consideration is given to the right of the child to be respected by the parent
    • High expectations are placed on children regarding their performance academically and in reaching any other goals set in place by parents
    • Little warmth or nurturing is expressed by the parents
    • Punishments are meted out with little or no explanation; with the aim of making the child “pay” for his/her mistake or non-compliance; punishments can be harsh, unrelated to the infraction, and inconsistent
    • Children are not given choices or options; complete control is exercised over the child
    Permissive Parenting
    • Parents often seem more like a friend than a parent
    • Few rules or standards of behavior are put in place and when there are rules, they are often very inconsistent
    • Bribery with toys, gifts, and food are used as a means to get child to behave
    • Abundant love and nurturing of the children is expressed without the balance of discipline
    • Few expectations are placed on children with regard to academic performance or other goals
    Authoritative Parenting

    Authoritarian and permissive parenting styles are seen as being opposite extremes. In between the two is the authoritative parenting style.

    So don’t use an authoritarian or permissive parenting style — choose Authoritative Parenting

    • Parent comes across to the children as role model, teacher, and guide
    • Rules are established and limits are put in place; expectations about children’s behavior and goals are expressed and discussed; flexibility and willingness to make adjustments are utilized as needed or appropriate
    • Children are expected to be obedient but parents are willing to listen to the children and allow their expression of opinion as a way to encourage good communication skills, independence, responsibility, and self-direction
    • Parents feel it is their right to be respected by the child but also believe that the respect must be deserved based on their own proper and fair behavior toward the child; equal consideration is given to the right of the child to be respected by the parents
    • High expectations are placed on children regarding their performance academically and in reaching any other goals set in place by parents, often in collaboration with the child
    • Warmth, caring, and nurturance are freely and frequently expressed
    • Consequences are used as a means to teach greater self-discipline and responsibility rather than as a rote punishment of the child; parents administer fair and consistent discipline and are willing to explain the natural connection between the infraction and the consequence
    • Children are encouraged to discuss options, make choices, and develop the capacity for decision-making and self-regulation in daily living

    Contributed by LivingEman.com