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Tag: worry

  • Coping with Difficulties Through Faith

    Coping with Difficulties Through Faith

    Sorrow. Anxiety. Anger. Melancholy. As much as we try to live a steady, happy life, discomfort of the soul is inevitable. Our peace of mind will one way or another be challenged at various points in our lives. A troubled soul from time to time is far from pleasant, but along the way, we will come to realize that it is part of the human condition.

    At times of hardship, try to pause and take a look at the people around you. Everyone has his or her own concerns; some may be experiencing issues unimaginably worse than your own. Doing this provides a greater perspective and some comfort as you know that you are not alone.

    This is perhaps rather a cliché, and is probably the last thing we would want to hear at times of hardship, but life really is a test. This reality has been stated multiple times in the Holy Quran. Like it or not, our Creator tests us in various ways. Mental and physical discomforts may be the obvious ones, but worldly pleasures and successes are tests too. In short, we have been created to be tested. If there were no tests, there would be no victories and so, there would be no spiritual elevation either.

    We were created for a reason – to worship God, and heaven and hell were created to serve a purpose, as a recompense for how one responds to the tests in this life. The Quran states, “Do the people think that they will be left to say, ‘We believe’ and they will not be tested?”(29:2). The tests are ordained by God and unavoidable, but there are several lessons about the tests from God that I have personally picked up along the way.

    The night prayer is probably one of the best anti-depressants available. There is no word to describe the beauty of the night prayers and you will only understand it once you wake up some time before dawn, get down on your knees and talk to the Lord that created you. Pour your heart out. Say what you want. Ask for what you desire. Feel with sincerity whatever emotion comes, be it gratitude, awe, sorrow, guilt, or joy. Crying is normal. And know that He is listening; you are not alone. The peace that follows is profound.

    When you are regularly praying and talking to God, your trust in Him distinctively increases. The closer you are to Him, the more you realize how dependent you are upon Him. Allah is the best of planners; He only wants what is best for His servants. Praying, doing our very best to achieve our objectives, and then leaving everything to Him takes the edge off worries, and counterbalances them with hope and trust that everything will unfold for the best. The fact is we are human and if a family member is seriously ill, one loses their job, or one’s child is doing poorly in school, it is normal to have concern, worry, uncertainty, or other distress. We must always remember, however, that no matter what situation we are in, Allah has chosen it for us. He knows best and He will provide for us no matter how difficult the circumstances. Continue praying and believing, for once we have Allah on our side, every adversity is a means to increase the ultimate good in our destiny. Allah takes care of what is His. He keeps reminding us of this compelling truth time and again in the Quran. Thus, just make sure to be His genuine servant, knowing that your life, death, and whole being belong to Him alone.

    At times of hardship, try to pause and take a look at the people around you. Everyone has his or her own concerns; some may be experiencing issues unimaginably worse than your own. Doing this provides a greater perspective and some comfort as you know that you are not alone. Everyone has challenges, sorrows, and hardships. These are the tests by which we demonstrate our faith. Acknowledging this makes us thankful and appreciative. It gives us the strength and patience to work our way through the tough times. Pause and say “alhamdulillah.” Thank Him because you are still alive. Thank Him because you have supportive family and friends. Thank Him because He did not give you a test greater than you can bear. Acknowledging and appreciating the blessings in our lives lays the foundation for peace of mind.

    Life is a roller coaster; it has its ups and downs. How we manage it is entirely up to us. The better we manage our lives at times of hardship, the more our eman grows, the more devoted we become as believers. God tests those whom He loves to bring them closer to Him, to strengthen their faith and expiate their sins. The lesson is clear – we should always work to deepen our relationship with Allah Almighty for when He is the source of our strength and hope, there is always room for happiness amidst the turmoil of life.

  • Trust, Control, and Letting Go

    Trust, Control, and Letting Go

    Her mind was racing as she tried to focus on her studying. “What if I don’t pass? What if I start feeling sick in the middle of the exam? Oh no! I feel so sick now!” She took a break from studying to get a drink of water. She knew that her career depended on this exam and the thought of not passing was so frightening to her. She just had to pass! The constant worry was affecting her studying. She couldn’t concentrate when all she kept thinking about was her future.

    Anxiety, worry, and stress are words that we are all too familiar with. More people are visiting the doctor because of stress-related illnesses than ever before. Absences from work and school are often related to stress as well. Stressors are inevitable in our lives but anxiety and worry can be ameliorated by improving one’s coping skills such as practicing deep breathing, learning to reframe problems, practicing good time management, and so on. There are countless skills that one can learn and practice. Yet, the best coping skill for a Muslim is tawakkul (trust). Trust in Allah (SWT) involves knowing that Allah (SWT) has power over all things and qadr (destiny) has already been determined by Him. The good news is that tawakkul can be learned, it can be practiced, and it can be strengthened. In fact, as eman increases, so does one’s trust in Allah (SWT).

    Control and Letting Go

    We meticulously plan things, writing down schedules, making appointments, ensuring that we know what is on the agenda for the next day or even the next month. To know what to expect and what is coming brings some semblance of security, of being in control. Not knowing can feel vulnerable, even scary. We have a difficult time accepting that there are many things in life that we have no control over. It can make us feel powerless. As humans, we are naturally inclined towards happiness and a sense of security and stability, and anything that leads to the opposite is often avoided at all costs. By leaving everything up to Allah (SWT) after we have done our best, we are essentially saying that even the worst outcome, even failure, sadness, or pain, is to be accepted with faith and forbearance. This principle is difficult sometimes to apply. As Muslims, we know that we must be content with Allah’s decree, no matter what it may be. However, as humans, this is not always easy.

    Trust is Faith

    “Say: Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us: He is our Protector: And on Allah let the believers put their trust” (Quran, 9:51). In this ayah, Allah (SWT) describes what the response of the believer should be to the uncertainty of life. Even though we are unaware of what lies ahead in our lives, our response should be one of complete trust in our Creator. He has already decreed what will happen to us and, in that belief, we must be certain.

    Although we know Allah (SWT) has control over everything, this does not mean we throw our hands up in the air in passivity, helplessness, or resignation. A man came to the Prophet (S) and said, “I will not tie my camel and [then] trust in Allah.” The Prophet (S) said, “Tie it and trust in Allah.” From this example, we learn that although trust in Allah is essential, we as humans must do our utmost in working towards success. Not only should we do our part in taking care of our affairs and in striving to achieve our goals, we must also make du’aa for the outcomes we desire. Oftentimes, we assume that just because Allah (SWT) knows everything — our hopes, our yearnings, our goals — we do not have to ask Him for what we want. However, du’aa is a tool Allah (SWT) has given us to reach out to Him for all of our needs. Although He knows what is in our hearts, we must ask anyway since du’aa is essential to worship.

    In a Qudsi Hadith, which was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R), Allah (SWT) says: “I am as my slave thinks of Me and I am with him whenever he remembers Me” (Agreed Upon). This powerful statement of Allah (SWT) demands something of us as His servants. In order for us to be true servants of Allah (SWT), we must have a good opinion of Him, that He is kind, caring, and loving, and that He will take care of us and keep His promise. This is a beautiful explanation of the importance of having tawakkul, trust in Him and His Divine Plan and our reliance on Him. When we truly believe that Allah (SWT) is just, compassionate, and loving, then we can trust that He will do what is best for us.

    Trust is Success

    ‘Umar (R) said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (S) say, ‘If you were to rely on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning hungry and return in the evening full” (at-Tirmidhi). SubhanAllah! Tawakkul in Allah (SWT) has the power to give us everything we need and want. If we truly trust in our Lord, that He will provide for us in the way that the birds are provided for, then we will never get stuck in fear, worry, anxiety, disappointment, or loss. Having tawakkul leads to the peace of mind, sense of security, and personal fulfillment that we are all so desperately searching for. The secret lies in knowing that Allah (SWT) has already paved the road for us. We just have to keep moving with our best foot forward and expect the best from the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.