بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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Jun 24 Transforming Your Reality Jun 17 A History of Muslim Americans’ Political Engagement Jun 17 My Brother is Gay: Navigating the Intersection of Religion and Family An interview with Imam Wesley Lebron Jun 10 Islam and the Romans: Early Muslim-Byzantine Interaction May 20 Reclaiming the Sunnah of Adoption and Foster Care: An Interview with Basmah Salam Apr 29 National Poetry Month: An Ode to Faith, Visibility, and the Conversations We Don’t Forget Apr 15 Beyond Ramadan: Taking Its Lessons Farther  Apr 15 The Power of Saying No: A Reflection on Boundaries

Tag: muhammad

  • La paz que faltaba

    La paz que faltaba

    Mi camino hacia el Islam ha tomado muchos giros y vueltas a lo largo de Latinoamérica y aquí en los Estados Unidos, donde finalmente me convertí en musulmán. Mis padres son de Chile. Eran refugiados políticos exiliados a México por ser socialistas. En los años 70, ser un socialista en América Latina era sinónimo de ser un rebelde. No había muchas opciones en ese momento; eras de la izquierda o eras de la derecha. En 1973, Chile sufrió uno de los más crueles golpes de estado que la humanidad jamás había visto. Mi padre fue encarcelado y torturado antes de ser exiliado. Unos meses después conoció a mi madre, que era también una refugiada política chilena. En 1976, yo nací en la Ciudad de México. Mis padres, mi hermana y yo vivimos relativamente felices como una típica familia mexicana de clase media, excepto por una cosa: mis padres eran agnósticos. No ser católico en México era casi impensable.

    En 1989, cuando la democracia fue reestablecida en Chile, mis padres decidieron regresar. En ese tiempo tenía 12 años de edad. Chile es un país pequeño dominado por una de las iglesias más conservadoras del mundo. Como en México, crecí rodeado de mensajes católicos en la radio, en la televisión, y en las calles. En mi propia inocencia, siempre me había gustado la idea de Dios, de un solo Dios, pero eso no era lo que estaba presenciando. ¿Cómo podría un chico de una familia agnóstica siempre creer en Dios? En mi casa ese asunto nunca fue un tema de conversación. “La religión es el opio de las masas”, mi padre solía decir. Sin embargo, con los años, mi deseo por una conexión espiritual siguió aumentando.

    Cuando era adolescente, fui expuesto a la Capoeira, una danza brasileña y arte marcial, durante unas vacaciones con mis padres en Brasil. En Chile, comencé a tomar clases de Capoeira que ayudaron a llenar el vacío de mi espiritualidad carente. En el año 2000, fui aceptado a la facultad de negocios en Chile y también estudié Capoeira todos los días. Mi vida se volvió muy ocupada, “demasiado ocupada” para la religión.

    En 2003, conocí a mi esposa, una hermosa mujer estadounidense que estaba enseñando Inglés en Santiago, Chile. Ella venía de una familia católica y por lo tanto me acercó más a la religión. En 2005, me trasladé a los EE.UU. y en el 2006 nos casamos en una iglesia católica en Richmond, Virginia. En 2008, abrí mi propio estudio para enseñar diversos estilos de artes marciales, el ejercicio y el baile. Ese mismo año, mi primera hija, Priya, nació, y en 2010 me convertí en propietario de una casa. En un período de sólo cinco años había logrado el “sueño americano”, cosas que algunas personas no logran en toda su vida. Sin embargo, aún algo faltaba.

    El 2012 fue uno de los años más difíciles de mi vida. Mi arrogancia me llevó a romper mi tendón rotuliano y tardé casi un año en recuperarme. Ese mismo año, mi segunda hija, Mireya, nació. En 2013, comencé mi búsqueda espiritual. Empecé a investigar la religión yoruba, la santería, pero no me sentí identificado con ella.

    En diciembre de 2014, pasé la Navidad con mi familia en Chile. Después de la cena de Navidad fui a mi habitación a dormir, pero quedé despierto sentado en mi cama. Los recuerdos de mi adolescencia y mi juventud vinieron a mí y comencé a llorar. Llore mucho. No recuerdo por cuánto tiempo, tal vez cinco o 10 minutos, pero recuerdo poniendo mis rodillas en el suelo y los brazos en una posición de súplica. Y me quedé allí, preguntando, pidiendo realmente, a Dios que me guiara y me ayudara a acercarme a Él. Después de eso, encendí la televisión y mostraban un programa sobre la vida de Jesús. Una gran cantidad de preguntas vinieron a la mente como, “¿Será él Dios”? Entonces busqué en Google la palabra “Jesús” y de alguna manera aterricé en una página de discutiendo Jesús y el Islam. Entonces investigué las palabras “Islam” y “Profeta Muhammad”. Al final, no pude dormir hasta las 5 o 6 de la mañana.

    Alrededor de las 11 de la mañana, me desperté. Mi madre me dijo que debí haber estado cansado por lo mucho que había dormido. Le dije entonces que yo quería convertirme en musulmán pero ella no me creyó. Cuando llegué a los Estados Unidos de nuevo, llamé a un amigo musulmán para ver si me podía llevar a una mezquita. Allí, sentí tanta paz y armonía. Luego, otro amigo, que es de Turquía, me ayudó a tomar mi Shahada, el testimonio de la fe. También conocí a un hermano de Gambia, un estudiante en mi estudio, que me ayudó a visitar diferentes mezquitas y reunirme con algunos imanes. Al llegar el mes de Ramadán, me di cuenta que estaba rodeado por una buena comunidad de hermanos para ayudarme en mi camino.

    Mi esposa ha sido un gran apoyo para mí. Hemos estado casados ya por 10 años. Me considero una persona impulsiva y solía enfadarme con ella por cosas insignificantes. Pero ahora trato de recordar este hadiz: “El hombre fuerte no es quien sabe luchar; el hombre fuerte es aquel que puede controlarse a sí mismo en un momento de ira”. (Sahih Bujari, Libro 73, #135)

  • Una Nueva Traduccion del Sagrado Coran al Idioma Espanol

    Una Nueva Traduccion del Sagrado Coran al Idioma Espanol

    Se despertó en mí el interés de hacer una traducción del Sagrado Corán que se preocupara me-nos por parecer árabe o por intentar imitar la calidad literaria del texto original, y estuviera pen-sada más en transmitir de forma correcta y directa todos aquellos significados, profundos y espi-rituales, pero también de un gran orden social, que había comprendido al leerlo y estudiarlo en su idioma original.

    –Isa García

    Un poco de historia

    Cuando acepté el Islam y lo asumí como forma de vida, estaba sediento de saber, quería conocer lo mejor posible la fuente primera del conocimiento, la revelación divina: el Sagrado Corán. Sabía desde el principio que el Corán fue revelado en árabe, y que este texto es original: ha sido pre-servado y mantenido intacto a lo largo de más de 14 siglos. Pero al no saber árabe, tuve que re-mitirme a diferentes traducciones que se han hecho al español.

    Lo que encontré llegó en ocasiones a decepcionarme, pues el texto aparecía muchas veces con-fuso o incongruente.

    Comprendí que esto se debía, principalmente, a dos factores. El primero, que muchas traduccio-nes han sido elaboradas por personas que no tenían el suficiente conocimiento del Islam, su mensaje y su historia, y que por ello confundían conceptos o incluso, en algunos casos de forma premeditada, trastocaban los sentidos para desacreditar al Islam y su libro sagrado.

    El segundo, que en su mayoría las traducciones son demasiado literalistas, imitan el estilo árabe en la traducción, no solamente en la expresión del significado sino en el orden mismo de las pa-labras, de modo que no se apegan a la gramática del español y por ello resultan confusas. A esto debe agregársele que algunas de las traducciones al español utilizan un lenguaje antiguo y lejano al que solemos utilizar en el continente americano, y que a la vez carecen en su mayoría de notas aclarativas sobre el contexto histórico o las implicaciones legales.

    Más tarde, cuando tuve la oportunidad de estudiar el idioma árabe y acceder a los significados del Sagrado Corán en su idioma original, comprendí que en la traducción me había perdido de mucho. Si bien es cierto que ninguna traducción podrá jamás acercarse a la belleza narrativa, poética y retórica del Corán, ni reproducir a la vez su sonoridad y las múltiples formas en que puede ser recitado, también es cierto que las traducciones, unas más que otras, fallan en trans-mitirle al lector la verdadera esencia del mensaje coránico.

    Esto despertó en mí el interés de hacer una traducción del Sagrado Corán que se preocupara menos por parecer árabe o por intentar imitar la calidad literaria del texto original, y estuviera pensada más en transmitir de forma correcta y directa todos aquellos significados, profundos y espirituales, pero también de un gran orden social, que había comprendido al leerlo y estudiarlo en su idioma original.

    Gracias a Dios pude por fin embarcarme en una traducción del Sagrado Corán pensada para la población hispanoparlante del mundo, pero principalmente para el público latinoamericano. Jun-to con un equipo de colaboradores expertos, he procurado poner al alcance de musulmanes y de no musulmanes, el mensaje del Islam de la forma más cercana posible a la revelación original en idioma árabe, pero utilizando a la vez un lenguaje sencillo y explicaciones claras de los términos, de manera que el contenido del texto resulte fácil de comprender.

    Antecedentes

    Si bien el Islam no es hoy día una de las religiones con mayor número de fieles en América Latina, se está expandiendo rápidamente por todo el continente. Ya existen mezquitas en todas las ca-pitales y ciudades importantes de Hispanoamérica y también está creciendo mucho entre la po-blación latina de Estados Unidos.

    Teniendo en cuenta la mala imagen que proyectan los medios de comunicación del Islam y de los musulmanes, contar con una traducción del Corán al idioma español que transmita de forma di-recta y sencilla el verdadero mensaje del Islam, cada vez se hace más importante y urgente por dos razones:

    Primera, porque los musulmanes que no conocen el idioma árabe necesitan leer los significados del Corán en su idioma para comprender y practicar mejor su religión, y así ser buen ejemplo de lo que es realmente un musulmán.

    Segunda, porque los no musulmanes que desean conocer el Islam necesitan tener una fuente confiable de información, que les permita formarse una opinión basada en lo que enseña real-mente el Corán, y no en estereotipos y concepciones erróneas que han permanecido durante siglos en muchas obras de orientalistas y en algunas de las traducciones del Corán.

    De ahí que el objetivo de esta traducción es presentar a los hispanoparlantes el verdadero men-saje del Corán, tal como ha sido conocido, entendido y practicado por los eruditos del Islam y por los musulmanes devotos durante más de 1.400 años, para ello se basa en un lenguaje claro, sen-cillo, directo y actual, pensando en el público latinoamericano.

    Distribución de copias impresas y versión digital

    El objetivo de esta traducción es su distribución gratuita para que de esta manera llegue al máxi-mo público posible.

    Para conseguir este objetivo se ha distribuido una versión digital en formato PDF, se ha agregado a distintas aplicaciones con múltiples traducciones y en breve saldrá una aplicación propia para lectura y audio.

    También se han hecho múltiples impresiones para su distribución gratuita. La primera de ellas fue de 50.000 copias de tamaño bolsillo para distribuir durante la Copa Mundial de Futbol en Brasil 2014.

    También se imprimieron 100.000 copias en Qatar para distribuir a nivel mundial, y en América La-tina se han hecho pequeñas impresiones en países como Bolivia, Colombia, Guatemala y México. En España ha comenzado un proyecto de distribución para el que ya han impreso 10.000 copias.

    Creo que es necesario que los musulmanes se unan y colaboren en la impresión de esta traduc-ción con el objetivo de acercar el mensaje del Islam a los musulmanes y no musulmanes.

    Sobre el traductor

    Isa García nació en Argentina, es licenciado en Lengua Árabe y en Teología Islámica de la Univer-sidad de Umm Al-Qura de la ciudad de La Meca en Arabia Saudí, especializado en la misma en los “Orígenes de las tradiciones Proféticas”. Cursó estudios en mediación y resolución de conflictos en Estados Unidos. Ha sido director del departamento de español en las editoriales International Islamic Publishing House y Darussalam, y de diferentes páginas web islámicas. Permanentemen-te dicta conferencias en diferentes países de América Latina y Europa, y en Estados Unidos. Ha trabajado como traductor del árabe y del inglés al español durante los últimos 15 años, y es tam-bién autor de obras sobre teología islámica y distintos temas sociales que afectan a la comunidad islámica. Fue nombrado por la revista The Muslim 500 como uno de los musulmanes más influ-yentes del mundo en los años 2013 y 2014.

  • Una Mision de Amor

    Una Mision de Amor

    A medida que inicié mi viaje más importante de Dawah a México, me puse a reflexionar y pensar en mis últimas tres misiones de divulgación. “¿Por qué era este el más importante?”, Me pregunté a mí misma, siendo que estaba viajando con menos equipaje y sola. Sin embargo, la respuesta era que iba para llamar a mi abuelita al Islam, mientras se encontraba en su lecho de muerte, y no sería algo fácil. Ver a mi familia angustiada y sentimental sería difícil, también. Hice este viaje en exclusiva para ella, para mi abuelita. Ella pidió verme y yo tomé esta solicitud como mi última oportunidad para transmitir el mensaje del Islam a ella. Mientras estaba volando sobre el Golfo de México le supliqué al Todopoderoso que abriera su corazón e hiciera que sus últimas palabras sean las mejores palabras, las palabras de Tauhid.

    Ha sido bastante tiempo desde que soy musulmana y he pasado por varias pruebas pero esta era la primera vez que Alá me estaba probando con la muerte. La muerte siempre parece estar tan lejos hasta que lo estás presenciando realmente. Para una conversa, la muerte es aún más aterradora y una de nuestras peores pesadillas. La idea de perder a un familiar me recuerda a nuestro amado Profeta Muhammad, la paz sea con él, cuando intentó llamar a su tío, Abu Talib, al Islam sin éxito.

    Hoy estoy experimentando esto con la posibilidad de perder a mi abuela quien me acogió desde los 3 meses hasta los 5 años. Durante visitas previas, nos habíamos sentado a conversar pero debido a su edad, siempre terminaba la conversación para evitar molestarla. He suplicado muchísimo, pidiéndole a mi Creador que me ayude con las mejores palabras para decirle. Como dije anteriormente, este viaje era diferente porque no llevaba 10, 11, o 12 maletas llenas de donaciones para los musulmanes de México, ni iba con un grupo de voluntarios. En el pasado, visitaba a mi familia por algunos días antes de visitar a las comunidades musulmanas para proporcionarles materiales islámicos, para dar una lectura o para ayudar a restaurar una mezquita. Sin embargo, me sentí más bendecida en poder compartir una conversación privada con este ser tan maravilloso quien me cuidó incondicionalmente.

    Al llegar, rompí en llanto viéndola tan débil, delgada y con oxígeno; como mínimo fue devastador. Una tía me aconsejó que saliera y me lavara la cara porque mi abuelita me necesitaba fuerte y no llorando. Cuando regresé al cuarto me fije en una pintura de la Virgen de Guadalupe, una imagen de María, la madre de Jesús, que es venerada e incluso adorada en México, y claro, me incomodó un poco porque la consideraba un obstáculo para mi misión.

    Mi abuela se despertó y al ver que yo estaba allí, ella sonrió y me pidió que me acercara. La abracé como siempre, apretándola con todas mis fuerzas. Ella gritó y dijo: “¡Tú me vas a romper!” Nos reímos y nos contemplamos la una a la otra. Yo le dije que la amaba y que todo iba a estar bien. Ella preguntó por mi hijo y le dije que estaba bien y en la escuela. Le dije, “Estoy aquí para ti, para cuidarte sin interrupciones, sólo tú y yo”.

    Mi visita fue corta pero pareció larga debido a los momentos agradables que pasamos juntas. Yo tuve la oportunidad de darle de comer, bañarle y durante todo tuvimos varias conversaciones acerca de la unicidad de Dios. Una hermana de la comunidad de la Ciudad de México llamada Nabíla se unió a mí para ofrecer su apoyo, el mejor regalo que Dios me envió, mashaAllah. Con su ayuda, pudimos hablar con ella y el resto de mi familia sobre el Islam. También durante su visita dimos Shahada a una joven local que se encontró con ella en el autobús de camino a verme. Al tercer día de mi visita, mientras la hermana Nabíla y yo salimos, el retrato de la Virgen de Guadalupe había sido retirado de la pared.

    La última noche que pasé al lado de mi abuelita le pregunté si creía en Dios como el Todopoderoso y el único Creador y ella me respondió que sí. Le pregunté: “¿Quién es Jesús?” Ella respondió: “Un mensajero de Dios”. Le pregunté si ella cree que él es el hijo de Dios, a lo que ella respondió que no. Trate de introducir la segunda parte del testimonio de la fe, pero ella se sintió abrumada. Me pidió que dejara las cosas así, ya que nunca había oído hablar del Profeta Muhammad, la paz sea con él. Al regresar a los Estados Unidos le comenté al imam local del incidente y él me informó que debido a su edad avanzada (104 años) y condición, fue suficiente, y Alá sabe mejor.

    Hoy me siento aquí muy agradecida por la oportunidad de completar esta misión y la oportunidad de ver a mi abuela por diferentes motivos. Fue maravilloso pasar tiempo con ella a pesar de que extrañe mucho a mi hijo, ya que nunca había estado lejos de él. Tampoco había visto a toda mi familia tan unida y dispuesta a escuchar lo que tenía que decir. Todos hicieron muchas preguntas y, por primera vez, después de todos estos años, sentí su aceptación y amor. Le pido a Dios que guíe nuestras familias, que nos dé la sabiduría para transmitir el hermoso mensaje del Islam, que los colme con la misma dulzura que hemos sido bendecidos y que nos permita vernos tanto en esta vida como la siguiente. Amen.

  • A Mission of Love

    A Mission of Love

    As I embarked on my most important dawah trip to Mexico, I began to reflect and think of my past three outreach missions. “Why was this the most important?” I asked myself, “I am traveling with the least amount of luggage and alone.” The answer was that I was going in order to call my elderly grandmother to Islam, while she lay on her deathbed, and it would not be easy. Seeing my family in distress and emotional would be hard, as well. I booked this trip exclusively for her, my “Abuelita,” my grandma. She requested to see me, and I took this request as my last opportunity to convey the message of Islam to her. As I was flying over the Gulf a Mexico I prayed for the Almighty to open her heart and make her last words be the best words, words of tawheed.

    It’s been quite some time since I became Muslim and I have been tested in various ways but this was the first time Allah was testing me with death. Death always seems so distant until you are actually experiencing it. As a convert, death is even more frightening, and one of our biggest challenges is losing a family member who does not embrace Islam. I am reminded of our beloved Prophet, peace be upon him, when he called his uncle, Abu Talib, to Islam, but to no avail.

    Today I am experiencing this with the possibility of losing my grandmother who took care of me from the tender age of 3 months until I was almost 5 years old. In previous visits we sat and had several conversations but due to her age I have always dropped the conversation to avoid upsetting her. I have made tons of du’a and asked my Creator to help me with the best words to say to her. Again, this trip was different because I was not carrying 10, 11, or 12 pieces of luggage full of donations for the Muslims in Mexico, nor did I have a group of volunteers. In the past I would come to visit my family a couple of days at a time before visiting Muslim communities to either provide them with Islamic material, give a talk, or help restore/rebuild a masjid. However, I feel more blessed to be able to have a one-on-one conversation with this wonderful woman who unconditionally cared for me.

    Upon my arrival, I broke down so see her so weak, thin and with oxygen; it was devastating to say the least. I was advised by an aunt to step out, wash my face, and come back. She told me that she needed me to be strong and not crying, so I did just that. When I came back to the room I noticed a huge poster of the virgin of Guadalupe, a depiction of Mary, the mother of Jesus, that is revered and even worshipped in Mexico, and of course, I was a bit bothered by it because I saw it as an obstacle to my mission.

    My grandmother woke up and when she saw that I was there, she smiled and asked me to come close. I hugged her as always, so tight and with all my might. She yelled and said, “You are going to break me!” We both laughed and gazed at each other. I told her I love her and that everything was going to be okay. She asked about my son and I told her he was fine and at school. I told her, “I am here for you, to care for you without interruptions, just me and you.”

    My visit was short but seemed long because of the quality time we spent together. I got a chance to feed her, bathe her and throughout all that we had several conversations about the oneness of God. A sister from the Mexico City community named Nabila joined me to offer her support, the best gift Allah sent my way, mashaAllah. With her help, we were able to speak to her and the rest of my family about Islam. Also during her visit we gave Shahada to a local young girl whom she ran into on the bus on her way to see me. By the third day of my stay, while Sister Nabila and I had stepped out, the poster of the virgin of Guadalupe had been removed from the wall.

    The last night I spent by my grandmother’s side I asked her if she believed in God as the Almighty and sole Creator and she said yes. I asked her, “Who is Jesus?” She replied, “A messenger of God.” I asked if she believed he is the son of God, to which she replied no. We tried covering the second part of the testimony of faith but she was overwhelmed. She asked me to leave it at that, since she had never heard of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Upon returning to the States I asked the local imam about the incident and he informed me that due to her advanced age (104) and condition, it was enough and Allah knows best.

    Today I sit here so grateful for the opportunity to complete this mission and the opportunity to see my grandmother on different grounds. It was wonderful to spend quality time with her even though I missed my son so much, as I had never been apart from him. I had also never seen my entire family so united and willing to hear what I had to say. Everyone asked tons of questions and for once, after all these years, I felt their acceptance and love. I ask Allah to guide our families, to give us the wisdom to convey the beautiful message of Islam, to shower them with the sweetness we have been blessed with, and to allow us to see one another both in this life and the next. Ameen.

     

  • Combating Domestic Violence as a Muslim Woman

    Combating Domestic Violence as a Muslim Woman

    Violence against women is a matter that should concern us all, yet it seems only a few people are concerned. Throughout the world, one in three women is beaten or suffers some type of abuse in her lifetime. According to data from the World Health Organization, 70 percent of women who are killed, die at the hands of their partner or ex-partner.

    Violence against women is present in all societies in the world regardless of political or economic system, regardless of social status of perpetrator or victim, level of education, ethnicity, financial situation, culture, or religion. This everyday reality is manifested many different ways and it takes place in a number of settings; and my own country, Mexico, is of course no exception. In Mexico, violence against women is a social problem that hides itself within the home. Many female victims of domestic violence live with their enemy in the same house and are exposed to danger day to day.

    I am a psychologist working for an institution that provides psychological support to women who have been victims of family violence. Every day I hear stories of how their husbands beat them, threaten them, are unfaithful to them, insult them, and sadly some women have also died while making an attempt tto escape the violence. This is a hidden reality many choose not to talk about. My work is a positive challenge in my life, alhamdulilah; it is what I love doing. I feel very blessed for having the opportunity to be able to listen to women who put in my hands their hope of coming out of a problem that affects their lives and the lives of their children.

    I am Muslim, Mexican and defend women’s rights. This probably comes as a surprise to many of the women who come into my office; some of them even think it is contradictory. “Are you telling me that it is not?” A woman once asked me, “How can a woman who covers her head out of submission (she said referring to my hijab), tell me how I can escape the violence I am dealing with, when she herself cannot escape her own submission?” I smiled smiled and answered her with confidence. My hijab is my best tool for giving dawah.

    In fact, it was my inconformity and sense of injustice regarding violence against women that brought me closer to Islam. I also had a wrong idea about the situation of Muslim women, which I see now reflected in the faces of many of my patients when they see me for the first time; many express their surprise, and others – even if they don’t say anything – have a look of astonishment or shock on their faces.

    I could say that I do see my old self mirrored in some of them; who I was when I first met Muslim women smiling and happy, when they talked to me about the value of women in Islam, when I read about the rights of women in Islam. I used to ask myself, “Is this possible?” trying to understand. And this is why I do enjoy so much explaining to them why I am a Muslim, with my own words and with my behavior.

    Islam came to complement my life and it has helped better understand the work I do. It helped me understand my own value as a woman. Men mistreat women because of ignorance and failure to properly understand power dynamics. Muslims, men and women, must work together to combat domestic violence.

  • Muslim and Mexican in Turkey

    Muslim and Mexican in Turkey

    How I came to embrace Islam is a painful memory. However, I am grateful to God for everything that I had to endure to be where I am now. My first encounter with Islam was in 2009, when I met a Turkish Muslim online. I began investigating the religion and learned little by little through our friendship.

    The year that changed my life was 2010; it was then that I was diagnosed with lupus erythematosus. The news was difficult to bear. I knew absolutely nothing about this serious disease or its effects. The doctors told me that it is an incurable disease, but subhanAllah, glory be to Allah, for five years I have survived because of the strength of God’s infinite mercy. I consider my illness a blessing because despite the lows and relapses I have had to struggle with since being diagnosed, it has helped me to mature and strengthen my faith.

    I have realized that the life of this world is temporary; I am only here to learn and to serve the Most High, and for every pain, for every relapse, for every loss, I know that God will reward me in Jannah, in Paradise, insha’Allah. Perhaps my health will decline more with each passing day, perhaps I will have to make more sacrifices, perhaps I will lose something or someone; Allah knows best, but as a Muslim what I will never lose is my faith and strength in Allah.

    In 2011, I traveled to Turkey and heard the Adhan, the call to prayer, for the first time in my life, and I also visited a mosque. Since that first trip, I focused more on Islam because there were things about my Muslim friend that drew my attention. He spoke so highly of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and he advised that in order to know more about Islam, I had to learn about the Prophet, read about his life, and love who he was.

    That same year I was blessed with the opportunity of becoming a mother, but because of health issues, at five months gestation, on November 17, 2011, my pregnancy was interrupted. While in the operating room the doctors asked if I was Catholic, to which I responded, “No, my religion is Islam.” From that moment I considered myself a Muslim at heart although I had not officially converted.

    I was devastated because I understood that now I had to face two losses; not only because my baby died, but the man I considered my partner had abandoned me. I fell into a deep depression. I could not wait to get out of that crisis. I lost everything and even after several months I felt the same. One day in February 2012, I decided to log into Facebook to see what had happened during my absence. Coincidentally, a Muslim friend of mine was also logged on and he asked me how I was doing. Since I needed to get everything off my chest and speak with someone who viewed life differently, through another perspective, another culture, another religion, I vented. He was patient enough to read through everything I posted, until I finished.

    His response was, “I will send you something that will help you,” and that is how my first copy of the Qu’ran came to my hands. The first Surah, or chapter, which I read was Al Kauthar, and the verse that opened my eyes was, “Therefore turn in prayer to your Lord and sacrifice,” (108:2). It was after I read those words that I realized why I was going through such painful hardships; I had to sacrifice something that was never meant for me, something that in the end would not make me happy. Allah had already determined my destiny. I began reading more of the Qur’an and exploring Islam until finally, on May 2, 2012, I made the decision to declare my faith in a mosque in Mexico City.

    It has been four years since I entered Islam, Allahu akbar – God is Great. My life did not end with the loss of a partner and a child. On the contrary, I became stronger and found my real love, Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and my true faith. I understood that in order to obtain happiness, one has to sacrifice and leave everything in God’s Hands.

    I married that Muslim friend who sent me a copy of the Qur’an, and now I live in Turkey. I arrived here in 2013, and moved to a city called Erzurum, where people are religiously devoted, conservative, and kindhearted. They have helped me to increase my faith. I attend Qur’an class five days a week, where I have learned to recite in Arabic and am attempting to memorize the entire Book. Insha’Allah, God willing, I can return to Mexico to share my knowledge.

    I made the decision to memorize the Qur’an because during the time I was living as a Muslim in Mexico, there was a young convert whom I believed to be knowledgeable who would say things that puzzled me. He even tried to teach me things that were contrary to the Sunnah, or Prophetic traditions, and I felt disappointed. That is why I wanted to understand the Arabic and memorize the Qur’an so that no one else could confuse me and also because every Muslim should learn the Holy Qur’an and live in accordance to the Sunnah.

    As a convert I felt even more compelled to seek knowledge. If people who are born and raised Muslims can learn, then I can do the same. Being a convert is no excuse for me, just as not having been raised in an Islamic environment is no justification for not seeking knowledge. From the very moment that I declared my Shahada, it became a commitment for me to change my life. I wanted to practice everything that Islam teaches and to always have the thirst for learning more and more about my faith, Alhamdulillah.

    Life in Turkey has not been easy since I have had to learn and adjust some of my behavior, but above all live a life in accordance with the Qur’an and the Sunnah. Here in Turkey was where I saw a woman covering her face with a veil for the first time, and men with long beards and tasbih beads making constant dhikr (remembrance of God). Men and women are segregated and the government puts a lot of love and effort into the month of Ramadan.

    In Turkey when people discover you are a Muslim from the West, they are filled with surprise and admiration, and at the same time, they offer their love and support. I consider this country the place that opened its doors to me and adopted me, and where I don’t feel excluded or judged because of my religion.

    I remember that in Mexico I used to be pointed out and ridiculed for wearing hijab. I used to be the center of attention and I believed in Turkey things would be different, but they are not. I am still the center of attention, but because I am a Muslim Latina, Alhamdulillah, and that is beautiful.

    Recently, during a family reunion, someone asked me, “Has your life changed after your conversion? Do you like it? How is your life now?” I simply responded, “Of course my life has changed, and for the better, alhamdulillah. Life in Islam is a new life.”

     

  • My Advice to New Muslims

    My Advice to New Muslims

    Oftentimes when a person embraces Islam, he or she is unsure of what steps to take next. After much effort to arrive at the decision to proclaim the shahadah, the testimony of faith, with conviction and sincerity, their journey continues. Knowing where to go from there can help a new Muslim steer clear of hardships and misguidance. I am a Latino convert of over twenty years who has had a chance to study Islam and Arabic in the US and Saudi Arabia. In this article, I offer my advice to new Muslims.

    Learn About Allah

    The science which deals with this is called al-tawhid, which means “to single out Allah in worship”. Actually, al-tawhid is classified into three categories – tawhid al-rub?b?yah (singling out Allah in His Lorship), tawhid al-asm?’ wa al-sif?t (singling out Allah in His Names and Characteristics), and tawhid al-uluh?yah (singling out Allah in worship).

    Getting to know Allah is very important. Having newly entered Islam, one might still have a lot of misunderstandings about his/her Lord. In Islam, we recognize that our original state of being is one of not having knowledge, and Allah sent prophets to us to teach us about Allah and the correct way to worship Him. Allah says “We have sent to every nation a messenger (saying) “Worship Allah and avoid worship of other than Allah.” This knowledge is the most important thing a Muslim can learn and the first obligation upon him/her. One should be continually learning, recognizing, purifying, and acting upon tawhid.

    The first words uttered to enter Islam – “L? il?ha illa All?h” – are related to al-tawhid. These words are in fact a statement confirming al-tawhid. They should also be the last words a Muslim says just before he/she dies. That being the case, we can say that al-tawhid should also be the last matter in life.

    Learn the Qur’an

    Allah sent the Qur’an to us as a guide to live by, to judge by it, to recite it, to use it as a cure, to learn and teach it, to reflect upon its words, and to make it the center of our lives. Indeed, the Qur’an is one of the greatest miracles. We should spend time learning how to recite it in its original language. We should read its translation in the language we are most fluent and comfortable with. We should also invest time in our lives to familiarize ourselves with its verses. Indeed, every single verse is itself a sign (?yah) from Allah. It is Allah’s Message to us and instructions on how to live our lives and fulfill what Allah wants us to do.

    Start Praying Immediately

    Prayer is an essential part of Islam. The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is the prayer, so whoever abandons it has disbelieved.” (Reported by Ahmad, Al-Nisai, and Al-Tirmidhi).

    Avoid Bad Company

    It is very important for new Muslims to stay away from bad company. Why do I say this? There are many negative and destructive behaviors that some people see as normal or even praiseworthy. Some individuals accept certain actions as being normal or acceptable; for example, dating and premarital sex, unnecessary intermixing of the genders, drinking alcohol and going to nightclubs, etc. These people have not yet understood the importance of living a pious life or felt the impact of establishing regular prayer. They may not even accept the existence of a Creator. This type of bad company might divert you – intentionally or unintentionally – from your new chosen life. They are not upon the correct path; so how can you expect them to aid you on the path that you have already chosen and recognized to be the one and only truth?

    Attend the Masjid Regularly/Get Involved

    Islam is a religion in which community is very important. Prayers are preformed in congregation five times a day. Males should try to make a great effort to attend all of these five prayers or as many as he can in the masjid if there is no difficulty in him doing this. Women are certainly allowed to pray in the masjid, but are encouraged to pray at home when children or other home matters demand attention. I would also suggest getting involved in whatever capacity you can at the local masjid.

    Learn Arabic

    Arabic is the language of Islam since the revelation was revealed through this language. Arabic is a universal language and is spoken by believers all around the world. The more we understand Arabic, the better we can understand the Qur’an.

    I would suggest learning as much of the Arabic language as possible. Focus on the correct recitation of the words, and on understanding their meaning.

    Additionally, one should not make it a stumbling block to learning or practicing the religion. At times, Muslims get diverted from other matters and may not even pray or memorize the Qur’an with the excuse that he/she has not mastered Arabic yet. Not knowing enough Arabic should never be used as an excuse for one to fall short in other areas.

    Learn the Seerah

    Muslims should learn about the Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) life. Seerah is the science which teaches about the life of the Prophet Muhammad. We should learn about his life and take lessons from it. We should also learn how he dealt with situations and try our best to model our lives according to his life. Indeed, Allah said, “You have in the Messenger of Allah the best example.” All of our actions in life should accord with his Sunnah (way of life, instruction, actions, and tacit approval).

    Learn About he Early Muslims

    There are often times where Muslims differ on issues related to the religion. Sometimes these differences are legitimate, and sometimes they are not. Allah says, “If you differ in anything, bring it back to Allah and his Messenger.” This means that we should resolve our problems by going back to Allah’s Qur’an, and in our times since the Messenger is not alive, we should go back to his Sunnah. However, there may still exist some differences of opinion on the interpretation of the Qur’an and Sunnah. Therefore, we should rely on the interpretation of the early Muslims, namely the Prophet’s Companions, their followers, and the followers of the followers. By this we can get the best and most accurate interpretation of Islam.

    If these early generations of Islam had a consensus on a particular matter, then it is not permitted to differ in that matter. If they differed on something, then the varying viewpoints are acceptable. We should never rely on our own opinion on things that have already been established or make it an issue of disunity among the Muslims.

  • Duas from the Quran

    Duas from the Quran

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  • 100 Commandments and Doctrines from the Quran

    100 Commandments and Doctrines from the Quran

    1. Do not be rude in speech (3:159)

    2. Restrain anger (3:134)

    3. Be good to others (4:36)

    4. Do not be arrogant (7:13)

    5. Forgive others for their mistakes (7:199)

    6. Speak to people mildly (20:44)

    7. Be moderate in your bearing and the volume of your speech (31:19)

    8. Do not ridicule others (49:11)

    9. Be dutiful to parents (17:23)

    10. Do not say a word of disrespect to parents (17:23)

    11. Do not enter parents’ private room without asking permission (24:58)

    12. Commit to writing any transaction involving the taking or giving of loans (2:282)

    13. Do not follow anyone blindly (2:170)

    14. Grant more time to repay if the debtor is in hard times (2:280)

    15. Don’t be involved with usury or interest (2:275)

    16. Do not engage in bribery (2:188)

    17. Do not break any promise (2:177)

    18. Keep and fulfil all trusts (2:283)

    19. Do not mix the truth with falsehood (2:42)

    20. Judge with justice between people (4:58)

    21. Stand out firmly for justice (4:135)

    22. Wealth of the dead should be distributed among his family members (4:7)

    23. Women have the right of inheritance (4:7)

    24. Do not take for yourself the property of orphans (4:10)

    25. Protect orphans (2:220)

    26. Do not consume one another’s wealth unjustly (4:29)

    27. Facilitate peace between those in conflict (49:9)

    28. Avoid being suspicious (49:12)

    29. Spend wealth in charity (57:7)

    30. Encourage feeding of the poor (107:3)

    31. Seek out the needy and help them (2:273)

    32. Do not spend money extravagantly (17:29)

    33. Do not invalidate charity by bragging about your generosity (2:264)

    34. Honor guests (51:26)

    35. Enjoin virtue to others only after practicing it yourself (2:44)

    36. Do not engage in or spread corruption (2:60)

    37. Do not prevent people from going to houses of worship (2:114)

    38. Never engage in fighting as an aggressor but only in defense (2:190)

    39. Do not engage in compulsion regarding religion (2:256)

    40. Believe in all prophets (2:285)

    41. Do not have sexual intercourse during the menstrual period (2:222)

    42. Do not commit adultery (17:32)

    43. Choose leaders based on their merit (2:247)

    44. God does not burden a person beyond his capacity; nor should we (2:286)

    45. Do not become divided (3:103)

    46. Think deeply about the wonders of nature and the creation of this universe (3:191)

    47. Men and women have equal rewards for their deeds (3:195)

    48. Do not marry those related to you by blood (4:23)

    49. The man is the protector and supporter of the family (4:34)

    50. Do not be miserly (4:37)

    51. Do not envy others (4:54)

    52. Do not support or be an advocate for those who betray their trusts (4:105)

    53. Support one another in virtue and piety, not in sin or enmity (5:2)

    54. Be just and do not let hatred swerve you from justice (5:8)

    55. Do not consume dead animals, the blood of animals, or pork (5:3)

    56. Avoid intoxicants and alcohol (5:90)

    57. Do not gamble (5:90)

    58. Do not insult other people’s deities (6:108)

    59. Be honest; don’t cheat in any of your dealings (6:152)

    60. Eat and drink but be not excessive (7:31)

    61. Wear good clothing during prayer times (7:31)

    62. Protect and help those who seek protection (9:6)

    63. Strive for purity (9:108)

    64. Never give up hope of Allah’s Mercy (12:87)

    65. Know that Allah forgives a wrong done out of ignorance if the person repents and corrects himself (16:119)

    66. Inviting others to the way of God should be done with wisdom and graciousness (16:125)

    67. No one can bear another person’s sins (17:15)

    68. Do not kill your children for fear of poverty (17:31)

    69. Avoid vain talk (23:3)

    70. Respect other people’s privacy, especially in their own homes (24:27)

    71. Know that God provides security and peace to those who worship Him and act virtuously (24:55)

    72. Be modest and humble (25:63)

    73. Strive for reward in the Hereafter but do not neglect your affairs in this world (28:77)

    74. Invoke not any other deity along with God (28:88)

    75. Do not engage in homosexuality (29:29)

    76. Enjoin the right and forbid the wrong (31:17)

    77. Women should not display or flaunt their beauty and charms (33:33)

    78. God forgives all sins when the sinner repents and turns to Him (39:53)

    79. Repel evil by something that is better (41:34)

    80. Decide affairs by consultation (42:38)

    81. Know that there should be no monasticism in religion (57:27)

    82. Those who have knowledge will be given a higher rank by God (58:11)

    83. Treat non-Muslims in a kind and fair manner (60:8)

    84. Stay away from greed and stinginess (64:16)

    85. Do not ignore or push away the needy (93:10)

    86. Pardon and forgive the mistakes of others (3:135)

    87. Establish prayer and give in charity (31:4)

    88. Know that the bounty of God is better than anything man can amass or hoard (10:58)

    89. God puts love and affection between the hearts of those who believe in Him (8:63)

    90. Those who purify their souls succeed, and those who corrupt their souls fail (91:10)

    91. Those who believe in God find satisfaction in remembering Him (13:28)

    92. Those who believe and do good are given joy and peace of mind (13:29)

    93. Enjoin patience and compassion (90:17)

    94. Know that God gave humans hearing, sight, intelligence, and affections so that they might be grateful (16:78)

    95. Compete with one another in doing good (21:90)

    96. Know that God created the universe with meaning and purpose (3:191)

    97. Guard your modesty (23:5)

    98. Know that being just is next to piety (5:8)

    99. Fight when necessary to defend yourselves but do not aggress (2:190)

    100. Know that it is only righteousness that makes a person noble (49:13)

     

  • An Islamic Model of Marriage

    An Islamic Model of Marriage

    The image of marriage that we are advised to strive for as portrayed in the Qur’an and Sunnah is based on three foundations: taqwa (consciousness of Allah SWT; love of pleasing Him and hope for His mercy, which is balanced by fear of displeasing Him and earning His wrath; virtuousness), mawadda (abundant love), and rahma (mercy). Taqwa guides the practice of abundant love and mercy as will be explained in more detail. We can experience paradise on earth if we really strive to live the Islamic model of marriage. Let us begin by exploring taqwa and its importance in marriage.

    Taqwa

    If we are asked to choose one trait that is essential for marriage, our unequivocal answer should be “Taqwa!” Taqwa emanates from the heart and envelops the whole of the human being. In fact, it is the core foundation from which love, mercy, and caring flow. There are many reasons why taqwa is essential to the success of marriage. Many marital issues in Qur’an and Sunnah are left open to the application of ma`roof, i.e. in accordance with Shari`ah (divine law), justice, fairness, respect, equity, caring, compassion and kindness. Ma’roof also encompasses what is Islamically customary, such as issues of obedience, gender roles, divorce, maintenance and provisions, or even the simple act of just living together as spouses. Only inner God-consciousness, taqwa, guarantees that couples fulfill their marital duties and apply the principles of Islam as justly and as fairly as possible.

    “…They are your garments and you are their garments” (Qur’an, Al-Baqara, 2:187). The word garment conveys feelings of warmth, closeness, protection and security.

    Taqwa of Allah (SWT) is the only reason why a person in his/her sane mind would counter evil with good for fear of transgressing and in hopes of high rewards from Allah (SWT). Abu Huraira (RAA) narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: “…do not hate one another; do not turn away from one another; and do not undercut one another, but be you, O servants of Allah, brothers (and sisters). A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim – he neither oppresses him nor does he fail him; he neither lies to him nor does he hold him in contempt. Taqwa is right here” – and he pointed to his breast three times” (Muslim). The Prophet (SAW) is pointing out that taqwa is the safeguard to help stay away from the evil behaviors he mentions. Taqwa means putting our trust in Allah (SWT). By trusting and following Allah’s (SWT) commands, we can ensure a successful marriage in this life. With taqwa we can trust that fitra (pristine human nature), common sense, and goodness will rise above egoistic tendencies for conflict, power seeking, and vengefulness.

    Taqwa empowers us to live in harmony with our spouses. We may have come from homes where verbal or physical abuse was accepted and regularly engaged in. However, it is not befitting or acceptable for someone with taqwa to follow in the footsteps of such ugly behavior. Both spouses raise their standards when they practice taqwa. Taqwa is the best garment one can wear, whether during marriage, parenthood, work, or any other aspect of life. “…But the garment of righteousness [taqwa], that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may be reminded” (Qur’an, Al-‘A`raf, 7:26).

    Only a person clothed with taqwa will be a comforting companion and a merciful friend. Such an individual becomes a cover and shield for his/her spouse in full embodiment of the following beautiful verse: “…They are your garments and you are their garments” (Qur’an, Al-Baqara, 2:187). The word garment conveys feelings of warmth, closeness, protection and security. It is interesting that the root meaning of taqwa includes to safeguard, to protect, to preserve, to shield, to shelter, and to prevent. It is easy to see why taqwa is the perfect garment for the two individuals in a marriage relationship. Let us look at the following verse: “And among His Signs is this – That He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put abundant love and mercy between your [hearts]. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect” (Qur’an, Ar-Rum, 30:21). Allah (SWT) establishes a beautiful image of an amazing bond between a man and a woman; one of closeness, shelter, warmth, and abundant mawadda (love) and rahma (mercy). These two Arabic words encompass many meanings. Let’s look at each one more closely.

    Mawadda

    In the verse above, mawadda is best defined as abundant love. Couples need to gather and increase their provisions of love, lots of it, to keep the ship of their marriage sailing. Abundant love encompasses many meanings such as affection, appreciation, attention, commitment, joy, respect, responsibility, sacrifice, security, trust, and intimacy. For the marriage to be happy, enduring and fulfilling, couples need to engage in the continuous exercise of loving and nurturing each other. If we do not nurture our marital relationship daily, it withers and dies like a plant without water or sunlight. Loving each other on a daily basis is about feeling close, connected, individually and mutually fulfilled and appreciated.

    At the heart of many marital problems is a poor perception of a spouse, which usually involves our focusing on the other’s shortcomings rather than on our own, letting negative thoughts run wild and building a mental case against the worst aspects of the spouse rather than building an emotional support system for their best aspects.

    There are unlimited ways to demonstrate love, affection, and caring toward your spouse. Tell your spouse frequently how much you love him/her. Loving your spouse is not just about realizing this in your heart but also about telling them. The Prophet (SAW) said, “If any of you loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him.” This applies to family, friends, fellow Muslims, and most significantly, to spouses. You can call your spouse during the day or send him/her an email checking how things are going. When you call, tell them you miss them or any other sentiment of your choosing that expresses affection and appreciation. In fact, giving a gift of appreciation has great impact. This does not have to be elaborate or expensive; it just needs to be thoughtful. Give something that tells your spouse that you listen to them and are aware of what makes them happy. A preferred dessert, a book he/she has mentioned wanting to read, or a flower may be more than enough. The Prophet said, “Give each other gifts and you will love each other.” And, as simple as it seems, smiling when you see your spouse has a positive and heartening effect. The Prophet (SAW) guided us by saying, “To smile in the face of your brother is a charity…” Always aim to be cheerful, uplifting and humorous. Sometimes we feel this is an obligation towards our Muslim brothers and sisters, but we forget to practice this in our daily interactions with our spouses.

    Most couples are able to discover more about their specific nurturing and love needs as they get to know each other better. The main point is to infuse your life with demonstrations of abundant love that make the bonding between you close and strong. In fact, the bonding was so close and strong between the Prophet (SAW) and Khadija, his first wife, that long after she had died he would remember her and praise her as the first believer and his closest ally on the path of Allah (SWT). In fact, loving each other for the sake of Allah (SWT) is the best type of love between spouses, it is true and enduring love, not just short-term affection. This love helps each spouse grow and guarantees success, true success. In fact, this love makes us lovable by others. “Lo! Those who believe and do good works, the Beneficent will appoint for them love” (Qur’an, Maryam, 19:96). My observation is that of the couples who seek counseling, those who improve significantly are those who learn to nurture their marriage on a daily basis with loving words and actions. The Prophet (SAW) used to kiss his wives frequently, drink from the same cup in the same spot where A’isha put her lips, and help out with household chores. Strive to make your spouse feel like the most special person in the world to you. Here are three examples of how to create this environment, in your own mind and in your home:

    Realize that your spouse is precious: Reflect on this profound reality and it will slowly become engrained in your mind and actions. Indeed, we have a great example in the deep love that the Prophet (SAW) had for his wife A’isha (RAA): “When the Prophet was asked which person he loved most in the world, the Prophet replied, A’isha’…”

    “Believe” in your spouse: This is absolutely essential in strengthening the marital bond and helping your spouse achieve his/her goals. Khadija (RAA), sets a great example for us. Long after she passed away, the Prophet (SAW) would often remember her and say: “…she believed in me when everyone else disbelieved in me; when they belied me she trusted me; when no one would help me, she helped me with her money. Allah (SWT) gave me children from her and denied me children from any other woman.” Having a positive and loving perception of our spouses has a great impact on how we interact with them. Having a negative perception of our spouses has a negative impact on our interactions with them. At the heart of many marital problems is a poor perception of a spouse, which usually involves our focusing on the other’s shortcomings rather than on our own, letting negative thoughts run wild and building a mental case against the worst aspects of the spouse rather than building an emotional support system for their best aspects.

    We know that the Prophet’s wives were actual participants in relaying the transformational message of Islam to the world. In this regard, the Prophet (SAW) and the whole community supported them. This has practical implications for us today. Husbands must understand the tremendous need in our society for the talents, creativity, insights, and wisdom of women. What follows from that is providing practical support for a wife to pursue her dreams and fulfill her obligation as an active participant in society. All this, of course, would occur while keeping a balance between the duties of a home and the demands of society. That is giving fullest support to our spouses: believing in their capabilities and helping them achieve their goals.

    Give your spouse your undivided attention: Spend uninterrupted time wholeheartedly listening to his or her dreams, fears, insights, thoughts, needs or whatever they want to talk about. This also means that we have to create a safe haven in our homes, where our spouses can speak their minds without fear of being judged or ridiculed.

    When we love someone abundantly, we are inclined to being more merciful, tolerant, and patient with his/her shortcomings. And rahma is the third foundation of a healthy Islamic marriage.

    Rahma

    Rahma has many meanings and levels. With regard to the spouse, it means having mercy with his/her faults and mistakes as well as protecting and covering their shortcomings. In fact, the root word of rahma is the same as the word rahem (the womb), thereby evoking more intimate, beautiful meanings of mercy. The womb is safe and nurturing, allowing growth without impediment. Marriage should be naturally easygoing and nurturing for both spouses to appreciate each other’s differences and to grow together without obstacle. Spouses live together day in and day out and gradually let most of their guards down. Therefore, they may be very vulnerable and sensitive because their deficiencies and weaknesses are readily visible to the other.

    One of the greatest ways of showing rahma is being the advocate for your spouse, especially in situations when they are reluctant to speak up for themselves, such as tense moments with the in-laws.

    It is clear that without rahma, a marriage would be a daily struggle and a slide into depression, chronic stress, and even physical illness. Then just the act of being “at home” becomes a struggle, let alone being able to face the many other challenges outside the home. Lack of mercy impedes growth in any relationship, preventing a spouse from feeling confident enough to reveal his/her weaknesses and to work on overcoming them. With rahma, tranquility and peace envelop the house. Only when we feel truly accepted, can we flourish to our highest potential. People feel relaxed when living in an atmosphere of tolerance and understanding. We become truthful with nothing to hide. There is no longer any need to wear a mask or feel tense. There are many elements of mercy such as acceptance, approval, compassion, connectedness, consideration, flexibility, gentleness, humility, kindness, self-awareness, tranquility, tolerance, and understanding. All these elements should guide our demonstration of rahma towards our spouses. There are many ways to show rahma to the spouses:

    Showing rahma with their faults: when something is not major, let it go.

    When they are weak, sick, or stressed, cater to their special needs and do something extra, such as buying them their favorite foods, taking time off from work to care for them, serving them breakfast in bed, calling them at work/home to see how they are doing, offering warm soup or a nicely brewed cup of tea.

    Be flexible. In his book, “Finding the Love of Your Life,” Dr. Neil Clark Warren talks about flexibility as the one personality trait that covers a multitude of differences. “It is this quality that can take over when two people discover, after their wedding, that they have some critical differences. If both people have a generous portion of flexibility woven into their personalities, they can make important adjustments.”

    One of the greatest ways of showing rahma is being the advocate for your spouse, especially in situations when they are reluctant to speak up for themselves, such as tense moments with the in-laws.

    Show tolerance and acceptance of your spouse’s extended family and the people he/she cares about. This is a crucial element for any couple and can often make or break a marriage. In counseling, I have seen many conflicts arise from one of the spouse’s lack of attention to their partner’s need to host or welcome their extended family.

    Be creative about the possible ways to show rahma to your spouse. The key is to stay attuned to their rahma needs by seeking feedback from them about what you can do to assist and make life easier for them.

    The Benefits of the Islamic Model of Marriage

    A marriage based on the solid foundations of taqwa, mawadda, and rahma is sure to reap many bounties and blessings from Allah (SWT). In the company of such spouses and insha’Allah healthy and pious offspring, our marriage can truly be the answer to the following supplication: “…Our Lord! Grant us in our spouses and offspring the comfort and delight of our eyes and give us [the grace] to lead the righteous” (Qur’an, Al-Furqan, 25:74). Marriage is conducive to our emotional, psychological, spiritual and intellectual growth. It helps us become useful contributors to society. When we have such peaceful and happy homes, built according to the teachings of Islam, we will live in a heaven on earth. We can have very calm and easeful souls in the middle of life filled with challenges and difficulties only when we believe in Allah (SWT). This is the true joy of living Islam.