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Tag: Hijab

  • Niqab: For You, Ya Rabbi

    Niqab: For You, Ya Rabbi

    I was born with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. My mother, exhausted from having given birth, and my father, staring in shock, could only watch on as the doctor took action. Calmly, efficiently, she snipped off the cord and so I took my first breath. This is a story I’ve heard many times, and this is a story that perfectly highlights the nature of not only my life, but of human existence as a whole. Death is an inevitable truth that follows every single one of us from the moment we appear in this world. And we never know when it may come for us, so it is crucial that we treat each day as if it is our last. Death is the reality that drove me to becoming a niqabi.

    When I was first considering wearing niqab, I was desperate to talk to someone else who had taken this step. I needed to hear about someone else’s experience. So I went through all my contacts, stretched all my connections, and yet came up empty-handed. Until finally, by the will of Allah, I stumbled across the profile picture of a girl who I had mutual connections with but had never interacted with. All I knew of her was that she was wearing niqab in one picture, and I messaged essentially this complete stranger, asking if she’d be willing to get on a call with me. And Subhan Allah, she said yes. We had one phone call which lasted maybe an hour. And then years later when I began wearing niqab, I texted her to thank her, and she replied by congratulating me and making du’a for me. And that was the extent of our interaction, two conversations, years apart. But what she did for me — the advice, the sisterhood, the instant support that I was offered – those are things for which I will be forever grateful.

    I went to my parents next. I remember when I told my dad what I was considering, he only had one thing to say. He told me, “Sarah if you’re doing it, make sure you’re doing it with the right intentions.” It was a reminder that I needed. Even now when sometimes I feel my intentions start to waver, I think back on that conversation, and I renew my purpose for wearing niqab.

    Before I committed to it fully, I went through a period where I would wear it once a week. I was trying to get myself used to it, how I felt with it, how others reacted to it. So, every Thursday, I would wear niqab to campus. And the days I wasn’t wearing niqab, I would wear a mask. This was the first semester back after covid, and there were a lot of students wearing masks, so it wasn’t anything that looked out of place. Even when I was wearing a mask though, I wore it with the intention of doubling as a niqab, although it of course came without the societal pressures of niqab and was much easier. So, I very easily grew accustomed to sort-of-but-not-fully wearing niqab, and it took something really big to push me to the next level.

    Over winter break, my uncle passed away. It’s sad how often it takes something as jarring as death to puts things into perspective. There is a difference of opinion on the ruling of niqab, but the one that I follow is that covering my face is a recommended act – there is reward for doing it, but there is no sin for not doing it. But witnessing death like that made me see the frailness of my own life, how my own death could be right around the corner. I realized that I need all the reward I can get before I meet my Creator. I began to understand that my fard acts weren’t enough, I needed to perfect my sunnahs as well, niqab being one of them. And I was already doing it once a week, so why not just commit to it all the way? My uncle’s passing was the catalyst that pushed me to go through with wearing niqab full-time, and so I pray that every time I adorn it, he is rewarded as well.

    I will admit however that this wasn’t the easiest decision. I didn’t want to diminish the seriousness of this choice. Once I took this step, I wanted to have taken it for good and not keep going back and forth on it. But it quickly became a test when I saw how everyone was reacting to it.

    A lot of the people who I was sure would be supportive, or at the very least not make a fuss over it, were extremely critical of my decision. I got told I was being “extreme” and doing “too much” by those who should have had my back. Someone I trusted tried to pull my niqab down in public because they thought it would be “funny.” I understand that it was a big change for everyone, but it was also a big change for me, and I, myself, needed time myself to adjust and grow comfortable with it. The way I saw it was that if my parents were supportive of my decision, and they were alhamdulillah, then no one else had the right to interfere or be opposed to my choices. And it truly hurt that a lot of the criticism came from those who should have been proud of me. But at the same time, the amount of support I got from the overall Muslim community, as well as even the non-Muslims in my life, was beautiful to witness.

    The one thing I was completely unprepared for how difficult it would be to eat. And that’s when my mom as well as my friends really stepped up. My mom taught me how to bend my upper body forward so my niqab would fall away from my face, and I could eat without making a mess. When I went out to lunch with some friends, they insisted on offering me the seat closest to the wall – something any niqabi can tell you makes eating so much easier. When I grabbed ice cream with another friend, she offered to hold the bowl while we walked, so I could hold my niqab with one hand, and eat with the other. So many people were so cognizant, and it opened my eyes to the strength that comes with being in this ummah. I began to understand why the concept of community is stressed so much in our religion.

    Wearing niqab also did wonders for my confidence. It made me so much more comfortable with being Muslim and talking about Islam. It forced me to self-reflect on my words and actions and renew my intentions to do everything for only my Rabb.

    One point I will mention is that wearing the niqab also unfortunately made many Muslims put me on a pedestal. People came to me as if covering my face meant I had a higher level of eman, even though that is absolutely not the case. I wear niqab because of how much I sometimes struggle with concentrating in salah or because of how difficult I can find it to connect with the Qur’an. And so, part of my intention is that because I’m struggling with these other elements of the deen, I can at least maximize the part of the deen that is easy for me – dressing modestly.

    I’ve been wearing niqab for about a year and a half now. It is a decision that I’ve doubted and questioned — yes, but also one where every doubt is swiftly followed by relief. On each occasion where I’ve begun to feel uncertain about niqab, Allah SWT sends me some kind of sign, and I’m able to find contentment in this matter. To anyone who’s considering starting the niqab, or deciding to put on the hijab, or even just attempting to dress more modestly – say bismillah and go for it. Life is too short, and death is too quick to be hesitant on these matters. And as long as whatever decisions we make are made for the sake of pleasing our Rabb, He has promised us a beautiful reward.

  • My Hijab is American

    My Hijab is American

    “Go back to your own country!” the man shouted as he passed me on the street. Instinctively, I looked around to see whom he was addressing. Then I remembered that I’d recently started wearing a hijab, and the fact that I now covered my hair with a scarf was apparently enough to provoke a stranger’s assumptions about my citizenship and trigger irrational anger, and even verbal harassment. That incident happened nearly 23 years ago, but it’s still fresh in my memory. It was one of my first experiences with Islamophobia and the first time I felt like a foreigner in my own homeland.

    “You’re in America now. Dress like an American.” These words were scribbled on an anonymous note and shoved under my best friend’s windshield wipers. Recounting the story to me, my friend chuckled wryly. “My dress is from Macy’s, and my scarf is from Old Navy. I’m pretty sure my clothes are American.” Unlike me who grew up white and Christian, my friend endured bigotry from an early age as the only brown-skinned Muslim girl in a predominantly white neighborhood. That anonymous note was just one of many injustices she’d suffered over the years.

    Though our childhoods were different in some ways, my friend and I were both born and raised in the United States, and we are culturally American. At the same time, we are proud Muslims who choose to dress modestly and cover our hair in accordance with our religion. Though at times we’ve been made to feel like we don’t belong, we know that this is our own country, and we do dress like Americans. In fact, when you think about it, in many ways hijab is quintessentially American. Hijab is American? How?

    Religious Liberty

    The Founding Fathers took many measures to separate church from state. From the very beginning, the United States has championed religious liberty. As historian Jill Lepore writes in her book. These Truths: A History of the United States, “The rights established in the Bill of Rights were also extraordinary. Nearly every English colony in North America had been settled with an established religion . . . So far from establishing a religion, the Constitution doesn’t even mention ‘God,’ except in naming the date. . . At a time when all but two states required religious tests for office, the Constitution prohibited them. At a time when all but three states still had an official religion, the Bill of Rights forbade the federal government from establishing one. Most Americans believed . . . that religion can only thrive if it is not part of government, and that a free government can only thrive if it is not part of religion.”

    The First Amendment forbids Congress from promoting one religion over others and prevents the government from interfering with a person’s beliefs or religious practices. So, every time a Muslim woman openly wears Islamic clothing, she is exemplifying and enjoying a fundamental American right. This same right allows a Jewish man to wear a yarmulke, a Catholic nun to wear a habit and veil, and a Buddhist monk to don a robe. Unlike France, for instance, which has banned visible religious symbols in its public schools, the United States allows its citizens to practice their faith openly, wherever they are. In addition, The Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits employers from discriminating on the basis of religion. These are liberties that Americans of any faith should not take for granted. Every time we see someone wearing a symbol of their religion – including a hijab– we should feel grateful and united, not hostile or divided.

    Deep Muslim Roots

    Muslims are not newcomers or interlopers in the United States. We have been present in this land for at least 500 years and are an integral part of the fabric of our nation. According to historian Sam Haselby, “By 1503, we know that Muslims themselves, from West Africa, were in the New World. Muslims thus arrived in America more than a century before the Virginia Company founded the Jamestown colony in 1607. Muslims came to America more than a century before the Puritans founded the Massachusetts Bay Colony in 1630. Muslims were living in America not only before Protestants, but before Protestantism existed. After Catholicism, Islam was the second monotheistic religion in the Americas.” Haselby adds, “Historically, Muslims are Americans, as originally American as Anglo-Protestants. The popular misunderstanding, even among educated people, that Islam and Muslims are recent additions to America tells us important things about how American history has been written.”

    We must also remember that many enslaved Africans were Muslims. Their bloodlines and their influence on our culture continue to this day. Historian Dr. Sylviane Diouf writes, “Estimates vary, but [Muslims] were at least 900,000 out of the 12.5 million Africans taken to the Americas. Among the 400,000 Africans who spent their lives enslaved in the United States, tens of thousands were Muslims.”

    Most of those enslaved people were forced to abandon their Islamic practices, but some found ways to preserve their faith, at great personal risk. According to an article in The Conversation, “Historian Sylviane Diouf explains how despite such efforts, many slaves retained aspects of their customs and traditions, and found new, creative ways to express them. Diouf argues that blues music, one of the quintessential forms of American culture, can trace its origins to Muslim influences from the slave era.”

    Future Growth

    While Muslims currently make up a little over 1% of the population in the U.S., our numbers are growing exponentially. The Pew Research Center “estimates that there were about 3.45 million Muslims of all ages living in the U.S. in 2017, and that Muslims made up about 1.1% of the total U.S. population. By 2040, Muslims will replace Jews as the nation’s second-largest religious group after Christians. And by 2050, the U.S. Muslim population is projected to reach 8.1 million, or 2.1% of the nation’s total population — nearly twice the share of today.”

    Clearly Muslims are a rapidly-growing demographic, and in many ways that is good news for the United States. Because Islam requires high standards of behavior, sincere, practicing Muslims will always strive to be excellent neighbors, colleagues, citizens, and friends. “About seven-in-ten Muslims (69%) say working for justice and equality in society is essential to what it means to be Muslim, and nearly as many (62%) say the same about protecting the environment,” according to the Pew Research Center.

    Far from being anti-American, Muslims in the U.S. are proud of their faith and their nationality. “Muslim Americans overwhelmingly embrace both the ‘Muslim’ and ‘American’ parts of their identity,” reports another Pew Research poll. “For instance, the vast majority of U.S. Muslims say they are proud to be American (92%), while nearly all say they are proud to be Muslim (97%). Indeed, about nine-in-ten (89%) say they are proud to be both Muslim and American.”

    Stronger When United

    Most people are not so bigoted that they would shout at a Muslim on the street or leave demeaning notes on their windshield. However, there are many Americans who consider themselves open minded and tolerant, yet still make negative assumptions – even subconsciously – when they see a Muslim, especially one wearing a hijab. While Muslim women don’t need the approval or validation of strangers, I do hope this essay might open some eyes and hearts. After all, we live together in this nation, and we are stronger when we are united.

    Muslims are a fundamental, positive part of this country’s past, present, and future. Those of us who wear a hijab are exercising our right to religious freedom. It is a private, voluntary act of worship that is visible to the public, and we are grateful that our Constitution protects us. Rather than inspiring negativity, xenophobia, and misconceptions, our hijab should remind our fellow citizens of the rich diversity, the unique and precious religious liberty, and the meaningful Islamic roots of this nation. Hijab is American. This is our country, too.

  • World Hijab Day: Inner and Outer Hijab

    World Hijab Day: Inner and Outer Hijab

    February 1 is World Hijab Day. According to the website worldhijabday.com, “February 1st, 2013, marked the first annual World Hijab Day (WHD) in recognition of millions of Muslim women who choose to wear the hijab and live a life of modesty… [it is] a means to foster religious tolerance and understanding by inviting women (non-Hijabi Muslims/non-Muslims) to experience the hijab for one day.”

    Actually, hijab is not mentioned in the Qur’an as a head-covering for women. The head-cover for women is mentioned in the Qur’an as a khimar. Hijab, on the other hand, is anything that screens or separates two things. For example, hijab is mentioned in 33:35 as a physical screen or curtain in the houses of Prophet Muhammad, separating his wives’ private spaces from the space of visitors. Hijab is also mentioned in 42:51 as a veil that separates humans from God. Hijab, as an invisible barrier, exists between those who recite the Qur’an and those who are wrongdoers, who do not believe in the Hereafter, and are averse to hearing about God in the Qur’an, according to 17:45-47. Based on this wider understanding of hijab, if a woman wears a headcover, she is wearing a khimar and one would hope that she has an inner hijab. That is, a barrier between her thoughts, words, and deeds and all that is base. The same applies to men. But how often it appears that Muslims relegate “hijab” to women, forgetting about its actual linguistic and Qur’anic meaning and its applicability to both genders. Almost like this: if all the women are wearing khimars and modest clothing, it proves that our society is practicing Islam and fulfilling its religious duty. But “the issue is much bigger than that,” as demonstrated in a narrative told by Sh. Muhammad Al-Ghazali.

    Calling for Compassion and Patience

    Shaykh Al-Ghazali was a scholar of classical Islamic learning and also had an extensive knowledge of modern science. He authored numerous books on Islam and was revered by so many Muslims. Graduating from Al-Azhar University in 1941, he was active in dawah and he recalls the day that a young woman came to see him. He took note that the way she dressed was not very modest. He says, “However, the look in her eyes revealed sadness and bewilderment that called for compassion and patience.” He spoke with her and found out that she was Arab but had been raised in France and had very little knowledge about Islam. The Shaykh told her about some fundamentals of Islam and answered all her questions. She requested a future appointment and then left. Sh. Al-Ghazali continues with the story. “Soon after, a young man – on whom qualities of outward Islamism were apparent – came storming into my office and said vehemently:

    ‘How come such a wicked person was admitted here?’

    ‘The job of a physician is to accept. He doesn’t typically see healthy people, does he?’ I replied.
    ‘Of course, you advised her to wear hijab!’ he added.

    I said to him ‘The issue is much bigger than that. There is the foundation that has to be laid. There is the belief in Allah and the Hereafter. There is the hearing and the obeying of what was revealed in the Qur’an and the Sunnah, in addition to the pillars of worship and manners; the pillars that Islam cannot exist without …’ He interrupted me saying, ‘All of this does not mean we don’t order her to wear hijab.’

    ‘I wouldn’t like it if she came in a nun’s clothes while her heart is void of Allah. I taught her the basis that will help her to choose, on her own free will, to wear more decent clothes,’ I calmly replied. He tried to interrupt me again so I said firmly ‘I can’t drag Islam by its back end as you do. I lay the foundation and then start building and I usually achieve what I want with wisdom.’

    Two weeks later, the girl came back. She was wearing much more decent clothes with a scarf over her head. She resumed her questions, and I resumed my teaching. Then I asked, ‘Why don’t you go to the nearest mosque to your home?’ I said that but immediately I felt remorse. I remembered that mosques are closed in the face of Muslim women. The girl answered that she hated the people of religion and that she did not like to listen to them. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘They are hard-hearted, and they treat us with contempt and scorn,’ came her swift reply.

    I don’t know why I remembered Hind [Abu-Sufyan’s wife]. She was the one who chewed Hamza’s liver and fought Islam vigorously until the 8th year of Hijrah. She did not really know the Prophet. However, when she knew him and saw his lenient manners, she told him ‘I never wished someone on the face of this earth to be humiliated more than you and your family. Now, I do not wish to see someone on the face of this earth more honored than you and your family.’ The Prophet’s kindness and sympathy changed the hearts of the people around him. Now, if only the people who give dawah today would learn from their Prophet. They would learn to draw together instead of driving away, and to bring good tidings rather than to say things that repel people away from them and from Islam.’”

    Inner, Invisible Hijab

    The different approaches of Sh. Al-Ghazali and the young man with “qualities of outward Islamism” are striking. Sh. Al-Ghazali was a moral man and, being a Muslim man who strived to emulate the Prophet (s), he would have been strong and disciplined in living a moral life. But as this story shows, that moral living also was infused with caring and compassion. The young man, on the other hand, appeared to be moralistic — hyper-focused on the morals of others and their real or perceived improprieties.
    Even though Muslims use the misnomer “hijab” when what most mean is “khimar,” the general import is that women who cover their hair and bodies are doing so to be modest, to set a screen between their private femininity and non-mahram persons. So, the intention makes sense and is just fine. But here we are focusing on the meaning of “hijab” to be a screen or barrier that a Muslim establishes to keep himself or herself away from all that is base. Certainly, that is part of modesty. And it applies, of course, to women and men that this inner, invisible hijab should be wrapped around the heart and billowed freely in the mind so that the one with an inner hijab sees and interprets everything through a value system that both nurtures and guards, that is strong and merciful, that stands firm because it surrenders to truth.

    If a man has this inner hijab, then he will do as Allah SWT enjoins of him (and of women, in verse 24:31) in the Qur’an: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is aware of what they do” (24:30). A beautiful balance of responsibility to protect individuals and society from debasement is established when both women and men enrobe their souls with an inner hijab, screening themselves from anything that pulls the individual away from surrender to Allah SWT. Because of this inner hijab, each one will be mostly focused, not on others’ infractions, but on what he or she can do to emulate the Prophet (s) and that includes showing kindness and compassion to people, to Muslims and non-Muslims, to family and friends and strangers. As Shaykh Al-Ghazali said, “They would learn to draw together instead of driving away, and to bring good tidings rather than to say things that repel people away from them and from Islam.” With inner hijab, a Muslim man knows that he is responsible for his actions regardless of how women dress, that he can’t blame others if he commits a wrong or a sin. Looking at a woman who has not yet surrendered to Allah SWT and seeing her as “wicked” and wanting most of all to “order her to wear hijab” will never change anyone’s heart.

    Raiment of Righteousness

    Without that inner hijab, a man might be tempted by his ego to be a scolder, a correctioner, a bully, a punisher, an authoritarian. Allah SWT says in the Qur’an, “We have not sent you [Muhammad] but as a mercy to the worlds” (21:107). And the most commonly invoked names of Allah are Ar-Rahman, meaning “The Most Compassionate” and Ar-Rahim, meaning “The Most Merciful.” The discipline and rigor, the willingness and ability and strength to protect and defend — these are manly traits that must be used to guard humanity, but also to nurture humanity. The discipline and rigor inwardly focused might make a scholar or at least a most knowledgeable and pious husband, father, or community leader who is known as one who looks around and says, often and astutely, “that called for compassion and patience.” He is never tempted by pettiness or moralistic reductionism for he sees that “the issue is much bigger than that” — much bigger than how a woman dresses. His willingness and ability and strength to protect and defend starts with fighting for balance in himself, an alignment with reality so that he sees beyond the outer cloak and knows that if a woman “came in a nun’s clothes while her heart is void of Allah,” nothing has been accomplished.

    This genuinely virile man is committed to al-deen al-haneef, the way of those inclined, with their whole being, to a way of life steeped in devotion as they stand tall and firm with upright character. Yet, they have balance and moderation as footholds. Then they are able to discern things for what they are, to judge properly as to what is true and right. And so, this manly man might be like Sh. Al-Ghazali who stated, “I usually achieve what I want with wisdom.” He would know that “the Prophet’s kindness and sympathy changed the hearts of the people around him.” This man regularly secures the hijab wrapped softly around his own heart; and he cools his passions with the billowing hijab in his mind. For he has learned to be of those who do not “say things that repel people away from them and from Islam” but to “draw together…to bring good tidings…” His robe is taqwa — God-consciousness and fear of God. His protecting shield is taqwa, allowing him to love Allah’s mercifulness while blazing his own path with righteousness. And he knows he, himself, is imperfect and so he has a healthy sense of shame and that prevents him from being moralistic and harsh. Taqwa is like an inner and outer hijab, a barrier against all that would debase the soul.

    “O children of Adam! Indeed, We have bestowed upon you raiment which covers your shame and provides protection and adornment. But the finest of all is the garment of taqwa. That is one of the signs of Allah so that they may take heed” (Qur’an 7:26).

  • ‘Hijab Is Our Crown, Not a Crime’

    ‘Hijab Is Our Crown, Not a Crime’

    How often does a simple hashtag launch a movement? Sometimes, with the mention of just one article of clothing. In the fall of 2013, the hashtag #IStandForHijab did just that, launched a movement, by asking for solidarity from other women. It invited their participation in donning hijab and experiencing what a hijabi’s day feels like in a society that relishes a woman exposing her beauty to all. World Hijab Day is in its tenth year, celebrated every February 1, since 2013.

    The brainchild of New Yorker Nazma Khan, the original hashtag has expanded into an international event encompassing 67 countries and participation from women with a wide range of religious affiliations or no affiliation at all. It was created to combat Islamophobia, as a direct response to anti-hijab sentiments spawned by 9/11. Khan uses her platform, World Hijab Day (WHD), to convey to non-Muslims what hijab represents to Muslim women and to help diffuse the misconceptions about Islam in general. Each year, social media posts show women wearing hijab in solidarity, from celebrities to politicians and everyone in between. The yearly event has been covered by national and international media including BBC, Huffington Post, The New York Times, Al-Jazeera, and CNN.

    In 2017, WHD was recognized by the state of New York, and the UK recognized the day with an event attended by Prime Minister Theresa May. A 2017 article in The Hollywood Reporter quoted Khan as saying, “In middle school, I was ‘Batman’ or ‘ninja.’ When I entered university after 9/11, I was called Osama bin Laden or terrorist. It was awful. I figured the only way to end discrimination is if we ask our fellow sisters [women] to experience hijab themselves.” According to the same article, New York City mayor, Bill de Blasio, tweeted, “Your hijab is beautiful, and we welcome you just as you are.” A male observer of World Hijab Day stated, “It’s commonly believed that wearing a veil is a form of sexual discrimination. I didn’t find it to be so. To my surprise, the veil was strangely liberating, an unapologetic form of self-expression” (Joe Galvez – Philippines, WHD.com).

    Encouraging Religious Tolerance and Much More

    Since its inception, WHD has morphed into a global phenomenon and today is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization. Their website states that they are, “a global movement to encourage religious tolerance, cultural understanding and international solidarity,” and “campaigning for a world where Muslims can proudly and freely practice their faith,” and, it says, they are “independent of any political ideology or economic interest.” The organization works throughout the year to dispel myths about not only hijab but Islam as well. They issue press releases, host annual events, publish educational blogs and hijab stories, and host hijab challenges and annual events like the 30-Day Ramadan Hijab Challenge.

    Participation on this ten-year anniversary is expected in over 150 countries. This year’s theme is, “Hijab is our crown, not a crime.” The hashtag #DressedNotOppressed directly addresses the core misunderstanding about hijab, and the theme alludes to countries limiting the rights of Muslim women to wear hijab or burqas in public spaces like schools or work. Recently, the highest court of the EU ruled in favor of employers banning “visible symbols of religious or political belief, such as headscarves” but urged member states to “consider the rights and interests of the employee, including by taking into account national legislation on freedom of religion” (Aljazeera, 2021).

    Despite positive strides made by WHD, across the world religious intolerance is on the rise, with attacks against Muslims, men and women, increasingly reported. According to the American Muslim Poll 2020, over 60 percent of Muslims report being discriminated against. Women who wear hijab and men with beards are the faces of Islam and are the ones who bear the brunt of attacks and vitriol. CAIR’s 2020 Annual Report showed that Muslim high school students are often victims of Islamophobia and get bullied or harassed. Girls have had their hijab pulled at or off, and 33 percent of Muslim students felt the need to change themselves to blend in. That might have included altering their names or using a nickname or removing hijab.

    It may take another ten years to normalize hijab in America, but for now, one can simply say the word “hijab” and be perfectly understood. This February 1st, like the nine previous ones, World Hijab Day will shine a positive light on Muslim women in hijab and for that single day, their fellow global citizens will be reminded about choice, and dignity, and that religious tolerance must apply to all.

  • World Hijab Day: Honoring Our Hijabi Sisters

    World Hijab Day: Honoring Our Hijabi Sisters

    Hijab… some see it as a symbol of oppression. I see it as a powerful part of my identity. When I put one of my favorite chiffon hijabs on every morning before school, I feel pride coursing through me. When I walk through the school hallways, my head is held high, and my hijab makes me feel empowered. Hijab is not what the media portrays it to be.

    Islam enjoins women to wear hijab for their protection and empowerment. First and foremost, Muslim women dress modestly because Allah SWT in the Qur’an has obligated them to do so: “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful” (33:59). It’s important to keep in mind that Allah SWT knows best and everything He has commanded us to do is for our own good. Although we might not fully understand why Allah SWT has commanded us to do something, or restrict us from doing something, we have to trust Him, for He is the All-Knowing.

    More Than a Beautiful Piece of Fabric

    As my hijab experiences grew, I began to realize that hijab is more than a beautiful piece of fabric on your head and a modest mode of dressing. Hijab is a protection from unwanted attention. It is a cultural norm in the West that women are often portrayed in a sexualized way, and society instills in us values that encourage women to expose more of their bodies. True beauty, however, comes from within us — our character, personality, and spiritual self. Wearing a hijab makes you understand and honor your inner beauty. Hijab and modest clothing are a shield and gives women the power to keep their beauty private except when Islamically appropriate to display it to others.

    According to the National Library of Medicine, many studies have shown that women who wear hijab and modest clothing experience a positive body image, compared to others who don’t dress modestly or wear hijab. The hijab symbolizes how the self-worth of women is determined, not by their body image but by their inner, true beauty. A cultural misconception about hijab is that Muslim women wear hijab and modest clothing “for men” so men do not experience “sexual distraction or temptation.” This, though, is a narrow and limited view. Muslim women wear hijab to please God. In fact, modesty is not only enjoined upon women but also upon men. In the Qur’an, Allah SWT states: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely, Allah is well aware of what they do” (Quran 24:30).

    Know Why You Are Wearing It

    At times, it’s hard being a Muslim, hijabi teen in America. It’s not easy trying to live your life peacefully, while people think you are a walking threat. And when I wear my hijab, my pride and crown, it is often seen by others as an offense. I’ve learned that while society is often scared or put off through ignorance and/or hatred, it’s important to know your “why.” Why did you start wearing a hijab? Why did you feel inspired to start wearing hijab? The power of your “why” is like a lightning rod. It seizes the racist, ignorant energy of comments or stares and diverts them harmlessly into obscurity. Even better, you can take that negative energy and convert it into inspiration and motivation to keep unapologetically living your hijabi identity. It’s important to keep in mind that like all journeys, the journey of being a hijabi comes with its ups and downs. Reflecting on your “why,” however, makes your beliefs unshakeable no matter what’s coming your way.

    A Beautiful and Powerful Force in One’s Personal Growth

    My advice to the female, Muslim youth is that wearing a hijab should be a personal decision and not be forced upon you by anyone. Your purpose in wearing hijab should never be to please other people, but it should come from within yourself with the intention to please Allah SWT alone. Wearing hijab is a personal decision and an experience which is unique to each person. Realize that it’s more than a cloth covering your hair. In reality, the journey of being a hijabi is so beautiful and powerful a force in one’s personal growth. It’s striking how a simple practice of wearing a head-covering taught me the power of modesty and created a significant impact on my identity.

    Never hide your Muslim identity. You may feel “out of place” and not fit in with the crowd; but have pride in who you are and don’t be afraid to show it. Be your own advocate. When you have a solid, concrete belief and passion about hijab and your Muslim identity overall, the effects of ignorance, bigotry, or Islamophobia that you might face are never able to bring you down.

    On this World Hijab Day, we honor and voice our solidarity with our Muslim, hijabi sisters who walk with pride, speak with dignity, and continue to break stereotypes.

  • World Hijab Day: Modesty Is Not the Opposite of Freedom

    World Hijab Day: Modesty Is Not the Opposite of Freedom

    Non-Muslims often use the word “oppressed” to describe Muslim women. It is such a ubiquitous term that you will find right-wing Islamophobes, left-wing social justice warriors, and average people applying it regularly, as if it is a de facto aspect of being a Muslim female. The people who use this terminology usually do not know anything about Islam, nor have they asked a single Muslim woman how she feels about her religion and her wardrobe.

    The word “oppressed” carries a lot of weight. It implies that Muslim women are perpetual victims without agency or choice; that they are coerced or brainwashed into following their faith; that they are inherently different from the rest of women, who are assumed to be liberated; that there is some sinister power forcing them into submission; that Muslim women are prevented from living a full life.

    If they bothered to ask Muslim women why they cover their hair and body, people would find that the vast majority do so willingly, as a wayof practicing their faith and obeying their Creator. Far from being imposed on women by nations or governments, the Islamic dress code is currently only mandated in three nations– Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, and Iran. In the rest of the world, including Muslim-majority nations, the Islamic headscarf is optional or even illegal. In some countries like Tunisia and Turkey, where Islam is the predominant religion, women still had to fight for the right to wear a headscarf in public because it had been banned in all state institutions and government facilities. There are rules explicitly prohibiting Muslim women from wearing outward signs of their religious beliefs in France and Belgium, where Islam is the second most widely professed religion. So, for women who choose to dress in accordance with Islamic guidelines, it is a decision that they make freely and, in fact, courageously.

    Modest or Revealing Attire: Which Is Liberating?

    Interestingly, the term “oppressed” is almost always applied only to the Muslim women who choose to cover their hair. Those who do not are very rarely characterized as being oppressed. Even if they follow all the other tenets of Islam (praying, fasting, striving for a wholesome character, avoiding pork and alcohol, etc.) but leave their hair exposed, these women are much more likely to be considered “modern” or “liberated” because they look more like the non-Muslim women around them. But why has covering one’s body, and particularly one’s hair, been equated with oppression, while revealing them is considered liberating and progressive?

    On the most basic level, many non-Muslims simply assume that modest Islamic attire is limiting – that it prevents women from living a full life because it is too bulky or restrictive. They doubt that Muslim women can do things like play sports, fulfill their job requirements, and function in the real world while wearing modest clothing. They are unaware of, or possibly ignore, thousands of examples of successful Muslim athletes, professionals, world leaders, and activists who pursue their interests and careers while modestly dressed. Instead, they point to extreme and isolated examples, like burqa-wearing women living under Taliban rule. Choosing an extreme example and ignoring the reality of millions of women is a very common tactic. This article on seeker.com, called “Life behind the burqa in Afghanistan” is typical of mainstream media:“Afghanistan was once seen as a fairly progressive country for women’s rights. According to Amnesty International, in the 1970’s, Afghan women not only went out in public without covering their heads, they also wore short skirts and high heels. They dressed quite similarly to women in western countries.”

    Let’s look at what the author is doing in this paragraph. She is assuming that short skirts + high heels + western countries = progressive. And clearly, in her mind, “progressive” here means something good, liberal, and enlightened. This is the narrative that most people believe, and few bother to question it or think too deeply about it. It is rooted in ethnocentric ideas, ignorance, and arrogance.

    Is it more liberating to wear short skirts and high heels? Most of us in the West have been programmed to think that. But why do the majority of women dress the way they do? Is it because they truly long to wear impractical shoes that force their feet at an unnatural angle and pull muscles and joints out of alignment? Is it because they love to spend their life chasing the elusive dream of a perfect, bikini- or miniskirt-worthy body that has no excess fat or signs of aging or imperfection?

    When women’s clothing is designed to reveal their bodies, and society simultaneously promotes unrealistic ideals of female beauty, making a woman’s physical appearance her most salient characteristic, it is a perfect storm. Women will feel compelled to wear those fashionable styles – no matter how impractical– and will invest a great deal of time, money, and energy into molding and manipulating their body to fit the ideal. Preying on women’s insecurities and making them feel never quite attractive enough is a multi-billion-dollar global industry. Hair products, makeup, cosmetic surgery, diet pills, supplements, and weight loss programs are all part of the system that shackles women to the idea that their worth is tied to their outward appearance. If women didn’t care so much about how they look in revealing clothing, it would cause a monumental, earth-shattering financial upheaval.

    Who Is Brainwashed?

    Non-Muslims sometimes accuse modestly dressed Muslim women of being brainwashed. Perhaps they should consider whether they themselves are brainwashed by a sick global mentality that regularly exploits women’s bodies, focuses on their physique rather than their minds and souls, objectifies the female form, and makes women slaves to an unattainable version of female physical perfection.

    Muslim women who choose to dress modestly believe they are following the commandment of God. Their motivation is to make their soul their first priority and to privatize their body, making it inaccessible to public scrutiny. For most Muslim women, therefore, modest clothing is indeed liberating.

    Whether we realize it or not, we are all slaves to something. There is always at least one force that influences our actions and motivates our behavior. Most people’s primary goal is to be seen as fashionable, or beautiful, or popular, or wealthy, or admired. For many women, the desire to be considered attractive above all else has been programmed into them since childhood. But a person cannot be liberated until they willingly choose what they submit to. Muslim women choose to submit to God and His commandments. Whether or not those rules correspond to society’s current trends does not matter to the devout Muslim because man-made beliefs are inherently inferior to divine decree.

    Muslim women are not trying to force non-Muslims to dress modestly or to think the way we do. We simply want the right to dress according to our own religious beliefs, and to do so safely and with dignity. Ignorant people will undoubtedly continue calling us “oppressed.” But whether society chooses to recognize our agency, competence, and free will is irrelevant because our true liberation lies in our indifference to the whims of the world.

  • World Hijab Day and the Rights of Women in Islam

    World Hijab Day and the Rights of Women in Islam

    So often, women’s rights in Islam are misconstrued. From the ignorant shouts of “Islam oppresses women!” to the never-ending spiral of questions like, “Are you forced to wear that?” — it has never been easy to be a Muslim girl in America, especially if she wears hijab. Non-Muslims never associate feminism with Islam. However, so much of the Islamic teachings about women focus on securing their social, political, and economic rights. There are many schools of thought in Western feminism; however, at the core of all of them is the quest to secure women’s human and civil rights.

    Feminism, mainly, is not a movement of women wanting to declare their superiority to men or to promote diminishment of men. For a Muslim who advocates for the rights of women, it should not be the intention to see men and women as equal, meaning “the same” in their inherent characteristics and nature. Women have various strengths and weaknesses and so do men. However, that does not mean that either gender is superior or inferior to the other. Allah SWT created men with primary traits that serve their role as maintainer and protector of the family; and He created women with primary traits that serve their role as nurturer and, ideally, progenitor of God-conscious and virtuous children. That in no way precludes a man from being nurturing and compassionate or a woman from being tenacious and strong. In fact, for far too long, women have been labeled as “weak,” “too emotional,” “incapable,” or “too bossy.” The fact that men, in their predisposition, are logic-oriented and woman, in their predisposition, are heart-oriented, creates a perfect balance. And mind and heart are both revered in Islam, and both are absolutely necessary for both genders, for understanding and faith (heart — see, for example, Qur’an 26:87-89, 22:46, 3:8; mind — see, for example, 29:35, 23:80, 8:22).

    During pre-Islamic Arabia, women were given little rights and were often dehumanized. They were accorded scant respect, had little to no legal protections, and often faced oppression. The beginning of the 7th century marked the beginning of Islam and a new outlook on women. One writer, Jim Garrison, in a HUFFPOST opinion piece, noted that with the advent of Islam, “Women in the 7th century Arabia had rights not extended to most women in the West till recent centuries over 1000 years later.”

    Dignity, Worth, and Life Itself

    The brutal practice of female infanticide, also called “gendercide,” was common during the pre-Islamic era. Killing infant girls by burying them alive was a cultural norm. There was a lot of anti-female bias among the people at the time, favoring sons and seeing a female newborn as an economic liability and burden, and socially undesirable, even a disgrace. “When one of them is given the good news of a female child, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief. He hides himself from the people because of the evil of these tidings. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the dust? Verily, evil is what they decide” (Qur’an 16:58-59).

    While men and women are not the same, they are equal in the sight of God. Allah SWT tell us, “To whoever, male or female, does good deeds and has faith, We shall give a good life and reward them according to the best of their actions” (Qur’an 16:97). And we are advised as to what the only true superiority is: “Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah, is the most righteous of you…” (49:13).

    Marriage

    A woman once came to the Prophet (s) and told him that her father had forced her to marry his nephew. The woman had been given no opportunity to consent or reject this marriage. The Prophet (s) responded to this by annulling the marriage. During the pre-Islamic era, the consent of a woman to a marriage was perceived as irrelevant. The oppressive cultural norm of arranged marriage without the woman’s consent prevailed until the advent of Islam. In Islam, there is a marriage contract which is integral to the legality and sanctity of a marriage. Both the bride and groom must give consent, both verbally and by signing the contract. Islamically, consent is a key requirement for a marriage to take place, and women have the freedom to choose their husbands.

    In addition to the contract, there is also a mandatory dowry (mahr) that the groom gives to the bride. The mahr specifics are included in the marriage contract. The mahr is a certain amount of wealth or property the husband gives to his wife after the nikah marriage). Some examples of mahr are pieces of gold, jewelry, cash, or other gifts, according to the financial capability of the groom. The mahr becomes the bride’s own possessions, for her to save or utilize as she pleases. In the Qur’an, Allah SWT says, “And give the women their dowry graciously. . .” (Quran 4:4).

    In pre-Islamic Arabia, women were often dehumanized and treated as property and accorded little respect by men and, particularly, by husbands. The Qur’an and Prophet Muhammad’s teachings, on the other hand, express the importance of respect and kindness towards wives. Prophet Muhammad (s) said, “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best behavior, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.” Unlike the cultural norms and social stigmas at the time, Prophet Muhammad (s) always showed love and respect towards his wives, was affectionate with the children, and helped out with household chores. Although Islam recommends many guidelines to keep a marriage strong and loving, divorce is allowed. Muslim women are given the right to initiate divorce. In that case, however, they are required to return the mahr to the husband unless he allows her to keep it. If a man initiates the divorce, the woman has the right to keep the mahr.

    Inheritance

    The rights of inheritance were revealed in the Qur’an more than 1,400 years ago. Women were also guaranteed the right to own, manage, and dispose of property. Women in the U.S. were given these rights centuries later. According to an article in The Guardian, in 1848 the “Married Woman’s Property Act” is passed in New York. It is later used as a model for other states, all of which pass their own versions by 1900. For the first time, a woman wasn’t automatically liable for her husband’s debts; she could enter contracts on her own; she could collect rents or receive an inheritance in her own right; she could file a lawsuit on her own behalf. She became for economic purposes, an individual, as if she were still single.” According to stepfeed.com, Islam was the first religion to give women inheritance rights.

    Education

    Prophet Muhammad (s) said, “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim.” This advice was directed to both men and women. After Islam spread in Arabia and the Prophet’s message on the importance of seeking knowledge was known, many female scholars rose to prominence in the early years of Islam. In “Al-Muhaddithat: The Women Scholars in Islam” by Mohammad Akram Nadwi, the author writes the following:
    A striking case is that of Amrah bint Abd al-Rahmān, the great tabi’iyyah (Successor), muhaddithah [expert in ahadith] and faqīhah [expert in Islamic law], who intervened in a court case in Madinah to prevent a miscarriage of justice. It is remarkable enough that she knew that the case was in progress and the circumstances of it and what sentence the qādī [judge] had passed but not yet carried out. Many famous men jurists were residents and active in the city; none of them intervened. What is astonishing is that she did intervene, and no one questioned her right to do so. The defendant was a non-Muslim, not known to Amrah except as the defendant in this suit, in which she had no personal, private interest. The qãdi reversed his decision and released the defendant only because he could have no argument against the authority of the hadith she was able to cite. He did not know or remember it, or simply failed to bring it to bear when reaching his judgment. Once he knew the hadith, he did as a Muslim should – he acted upon it.

    There are numerous examples of female Muslim scholars throughout Islamic history who were highly respected and sought after as teachers.

    A Muslim woman, Fatima al-Fihri, founded a mosque in Fes, Morocco in 859 CE. Al-Qarawiyyin, as it was called, served as a place of instruction on religious and spiritual matters and later became a leading educational center. It still operates today and is part of Morocco’s university system. UNESCO calls al-Qarawiyyin the oldest continually operating higher learning institution in the world.

    The first revelation to Muhammad began with “Read…” The Qur’an, in numerous verses, calls for believers, men and women, to think, to reason, to reflect. Many verses tell us to look for lessons in nature, in history, and in the capacities, as well as the limitations, of the human being. Believers are also encouraged to cultivate wisdom and good judgement. All of these injunctions point to the importance of seeking knowledge and education, for both women and men.

    The Wrap

    Islam confers on women a high status and respect and provides for their human and civil rights. Many Muslim-majority countries today still restrict the rights of women. It is, however, up to women to know their rights and never be afraid to speak up when their Islamic rights are diminished.

  • The Burqa Ban: Déjà Vu from the Dark Ages

    The Burqa Ban: Déjà Vu from the Dark Ages

    During the Dark and Medieval Ages of Europe, religious intolerance was encouraged by the Catholic Church as well as the various European kingdoms scattered across the continent. They would often call for “inquisitions,” where Catholic militias and gangs would purge Jews, Muslims, and non-Catholic Christians from their localities. Minorities were either expelled, killed, or forcibly converted to Catholicism. Many were also forced to live in ghettos; in fact, the word “ghetto” originated in Italy to describe a Jewish locality in Venice. Although the inquisitions have long ended in Europe, a new approach for a similar objective — to root out the beliefs, traditions, and/or symbols of the “other” — has been undertaken, and intolerance is now resurfacing.

    Today, several European countries including Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, the Netherlands, and most recently Switzerland, have imposed complete or partial bans on the Islamic dress for women, namely the hijab, niqab, and burqa. In these states, fines or jail time has been prescribed as punishment for those wearing a burqa or niqab in public and wearing even the hijab at a university or school is enough to warrant removal from the institution. Claiming concern about security, female liberty, and secularism, many European countries have given Muslims, and Muslim women in particular, two practical options: integrate into European society by compromising their faith or practice their faith elsewhere to avoid the punishment. Similar to the Medieval Ages, Europe today refuses to validate and give full rights to “others,” and instead of encouraging the diversity and freedom of expression that secularism champions, it has given Muslims the option to either give up the tenets of their faith or face the consequences — a dangerous déjà vu from the Dark Ages.

    The Claim of Security

    One of the most widespread claims against the burqa or niqab being worn in public is that they are a security concern. In April of 2017, Paul Nuttal, a now-former member of the European Parliament representing the United Kingdom Independence Party, claimed that “if CCTV is to be effective, in an age of heightened terror, you need to see people’s faces.” Mr. Nuttal was a vocal advocate for a ban on burqas and niqabs in the United Kingdom throughout his tenure. However, when asked to provide data as to how effective a burqa ban would be, The Home Office, Scotland Yard, and the National Police Chiefs Council all told Fact Check they were not aware of any statistics showing the proportion of people who cannot be identified on CCTV, or any records of the reasons why. David Videcette, a former officer with Scotland Yard’s Anti-Terrorist Squad, asserted that burqas did not pose a security threat, stating that “CCTV generally often just shows people’s bodily movements and what they did somewhere, as opposed to identifying them facially.” Instead of providing increased security, the burqa bans may be emboldening those who see Muslim women as targets for harassment. The Collective Against Islamophobia in France stated in a 2011 report, the same year that France imposed the burqa ban, that 94 percent of victims of anti-Muslim physical and verbal abuse are women, and over 84 percent of all reported Islamophobic acts are targeted at women. The report also stated that the increasing Islamophobic attacks are often aimed at Muslim women who are singled out because they are wearing a hijab, burqa, or niqab. Interestingly, since the start of the COVID-19 Pandemic, European countries such as France have imposed strict guidelines for the required use of face masks in public and no security concerns were raised by either politicians or the populace.

    The Claim of Female Oppression

    Many European politicians have also claimed that the burqa is a symbol of female oppression imposed by Muslim men. Former French president Nicolas Sarkozy, who is often seen as the pioneer of the “burqa ban” movement, stated in 2009 that the burqa is “a problem of liberty and women’s dignity,” before also stating that the burqa is “not a religious symbol, but a sign of subservience and debasement.” Several European politicians have made similar claims. Ironically, these self-portrayed champions of female liberty refuse to take into account the opinions of those who they claim to be liberating. In all of the “burqa ban” debates in European parliaments, not one burqa- or niqab-wearing Muslim woman was consulted, which makes it difficult to take at face value the seemingly good intentions of these politicians. It has indeed been mostly men creating legislation regarding the manner in which a woman dresses — a major issue that modern feminists should oppose and bring to light. Moreover, the European Court of Human Rights out rightly rejected the argument that a burqa ban was necessary for liberating women, commenting that “A State Party cannot invoke gender equality in order to ban a practice that is defended by women.” The applicant in that particular case asserted that she wore the niqab voluntarily like the vast majority of Muslim women who wear the burqa and niqab did. If European politicians are actually concerned for the rights of Muslim women, perhaps they should consult some of the “victims” before speaking for them.

    The Claim of Secularism

    Perhaps the greatest element of irony in the arguments of those who want to ban the burqa or niqab being worn in public is the claim of defending the values of secularism. European politicians such as Mr. Sarkozy have often stated their intention to “protect secular values” and maintain the separation of church and state when imposing bans on hijabs in schools and universities. However, even a superficial analysis of the tenets of secularism shows that the freedoms of religion and expression are well supported and encouraged in a secular society. In openly secular societies such as the United States, for example, the French burqa ban was strongly condemned. Former spokesperson of the State Department, Philip Crowley, bluntly declared that “We [The United States] do not think that you should legislate what people can wear or not wear associated with their religious beliefs,” before further asserting that “in the United States, we would take a different step to balance security and to respect religious freedom and the symbols that go along with religious freedom.” Furthermore, Article Nine of the European Convention of Human Rights addresses the freedoms of religion and expression, giving the right to practice one’s religion “in public or private, through worship, observance, practice, and teaching.” Amnesty International, in response to a ban on face veils in Belgium, explicitly stated that it “would violate the right to the freedom of expression, and of religion, of women who choose to express their identity or their beliefs in this way.” When Switzerland moved to ban the burqa in March of 2021, Ravina Shamdasani, the United Nation’s Human Rights Office spokeswoman, expressed her dismay at Switzerland “joining the small number of countries where actively discriminating against Muslim women is now sanctioned by law.” She further stated that the move was “deeply regrettable.”

    For years, European politicians have claimed that the burqa ban is in the interest of security, women’s rights, and the values of secularism. However, as a study by Shaira Nanwani of Emory University found, “the burqa ban is disproportionate to both of its stated aims of promoting gender equality and promoting public safety.” Not only does the ban fail in its alleged aims of promoting security and female liberty, it is also clearly not in line with secular values. The upholders of secularism, especially feminists, must now work to save secularism in the cradle which birthed it — Europe. Several European states have sent a strong message to Muslims: give up your religion or face the consequences. This is the same message that Europe sent to Jews, Muslims, and other minorities during the Dark and Medieval Age Inquisitions. Given that none of the stated objectives of the burqa ban have been achieved, it is time to wonder if modern Europe’s motives are the same as they were all those centuries ago.

  • The Lesson Buried in the Sting

    The Lesson Buried in the Sting

    Smiling in pleasant anticipation, I entered the tiny hair salon on the bustling street corner in Fez. The sign above the door proclaimed “For women only” in Arabic and French. What a treat to be able to let my hair down, literally and figuratively, knowing that men wouldn’t enter the shop! Having my hair styled in a proper salon was one of those small but significant luxuries of visiting my husband’s homeland, Morocco.

    As an American Muslim who wears a khimar, I’ve had to find creative ways to get my hair cut in the States. Since almost every mainstream salon here is accessible to males and females, I can’t just walk in, remove my scarf, and relax. When I’m unable to locate or afford a stylist who makes house calls, I tend to go to mainstream establishments and ask if they have a room in the back that offers privacy. Most don’t offer secluded styling areas, but over the years some helpful, bemused staff members have found creative ways to accommodate me. As a result, I’ve had my hair cut in stuffy employee break rooms amongst half-eaten sandwiches and even in janitors’ closets surrounded by mops and brooms!

    But here I was in Morocco where Islamic traditions were understood and honored. This salon’s only customers were women, and the stylists were female too. Sitting in the bright main area in a comfortable chair, I unwrapped my hijab fearlessly and felt a wave of gratitude as my hairdresser said, “Bismillah” before she started snipping. Ahh! I thought, This is how a haircut should be!

    These Were My Sisters in Faith

    While the stylist herself did not wear khimar, and neither did the other women around us, they were my sisters in Islam. They were fascinated by me because I was clearly a foreigner but also a Muslim, so I was both strange and familiar to them. Through my translator (my husband’s sweet cousin who had accompanied me), the staff and customers peppered me with questions: “How long have you been a Muslim?” “What do you think of Morocco?” “Is it hard to wear hijab in the United States?” They nodded towards my teenage daughter, who was with me, and inquired, “She wears hijab, too? Even in America? Willingly?”

    When my stylist had finished cutting, brushing, and blow drying my hair, the onlookers gave their warm approval. She had done an excellent job. I thanked her and began to put my scarf back on.
    “Noooo!” chorused all the women around me, “You’ll mess up your hairdo!”
    “But I’m leaving now,” I explained. “I have to cover it.”
    “Don’t cover it too much, then,” my stylist advised. “Just wrap the scarf loosely so you don’t ruin
    the style.”

    She attempted to arrange it for me, with the result that half of my hair was showing. The women nodded their approval. “Thank you for your hard work,” I replied through my translator, “I really like the hairstyle. But for me, hijab needs to be 100 percent.”I wrapped the scarf snugly and got up to leave. Then one of the women fired a final, lethal shot. I hadn’t seen it coming — not there in Morocco surrounded by my sisters in faith. I guess that’s why it hurt so much.“But you look so much younger and prettier without it!”

    Now, I’m aware that those same words have been said to countless women who cover their hair and bodies for the sake of Allah SWT. I don’t pretend to be the only one who has dealt with this situation. It seems to be a favorite test of the Shaytan, who knows our weaknesses and seeks to exploit them through the poisonous words of people around us. When uttered by non-Muslims, those words are hurtful. But when they are said by our sisters in faith, they sting even more.

    I believe there are some Muslim women who are so self-confident that they don’t need anyone’s validation of their beauty, physical or otherwise. No petty, biting words can pierce their innate sense of worthiness and dignity. Their relationship with Allah SWT is so strong they don’t doubt their inherent value for a second. Sadly, I think those self-confident women are few and far between. Most of us have grown up believing that others’ opinions determine our beauty. Deep down, many of us have bought into the lie that our physical appearance is more important than our inner light.

    Therefore, when someone says we look younger and prettier without hijab, most of us immediately deduce that we look old and ugly with it. High-minded as we try to be, few of us desire to look old and ugly. This fear and insecurity can make us start to question or even resent our modest Islamic attire.
    I might have wallowed in my own feelings of resentment and self-doubt in that moment, but I was more focused on my teenage daughter, who had been listening to the whole conversation. Through the salon mirror, I could see her reflection. She was clearly filled with fury on my behalf. Her face had turned red and she was fighting back angry tears. She, too, had been told by non-Muslim friends that she looked “so much prettier” without her hijab. For a teenager in a non-Muslim environment, in this age of filtered, flawless selfies and the glorification of exhibitionism, the concept of not being pretty enough can be devastating. And here her mother was being told the same thing by adult Muslim women who should know better! No wonder my daughter was upset.

    With Hindsight, Distance, and Perspective

    Instead of coming up with a clever reply to the commenter, I focused my energies on consoling my daughter and getting out of the salon as quickly as possible. As we walked home, I’ll admit I felt deflated. Half an hour before I had been feeling pampered and safe amongst sisters, but I now felt diminished and even foolish, somehow, although I had done nothing wrong. The thrill of a new hairstyle was gone. I found myself wondering exactly how old and unattractive I looked with my hijab and contemplating how much nicer it felt to be praised and showered with compliments. Then I pondered why strangers’ opinions mattered so much to me and whether that made me a weak Muslim. All of this inner turmoil — plus my daughter’s indignation — were caused by people who should have been supporters.

    If I were able to go back in time, now that I have the benefits of hindsight, distance, and perspective, I would have said to the sisters in the salon, “You have chosen not to prioritize hijab, and that is between you and Allah SWT. But what if your offhand words to me, perhaps unintended, preyed on my insecurities so much that I decided to remove hijab permanently? Would you want that on your conscience on Judgement Day? When Allah SWT asks you what you did to help your sisters in faith, will you be able to say you encouraged them to practice their faith courageously and fully? As a convert to Islam, I might be particularly susceptible to the opinions of ‘born Muslims.’ Do you really want to admit to Allah SWT that instead of advising me to strive to please Him, you enticed me to disobey Him? To doubt my worth and question my priorities? To believe that my physical attractiveness was more important than my integrity? Please, sisters, we all need to think before we speak. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, ‘Most of the sins of the children of Adam are on their tongues’” (al-Tabarani).

    To myself and my daughter I would say, “Don’t grieve over those hurtful words. Thank Allah for this test because it will only strengthen you. Never, ever prioritize people over your Creator. Never seek their approval more than His. Remember that no matter what you do, many people will not be pleased. Even if you put all of your effort into beautifying yourself with the perfect hair, makeup, physique, and clothing and display all of it to the world, they will still find fault. Some people are insecure, some jealous, some shallow, and some misguided. You are not the problem, and neither is your hijab. If you seek to please Allah SWT you will always win. Do not resent the people who put your faith to the test. Make dua’a for them, identify the lesson buried in the sting, and march forward, away from caring about the approval of others, always with your eyes on the prize: Paradise.”

    Having recounted this story, I would like to add that a number of remarkable Moroccan women were among those who inspired me to become Muslim in the first place. My sister-in-law is an exceptionally bright, capable, and strong mother, wife and professional. When I first met her, she told me with unmistakable passion and sincerity that she loved Islam and loved her hijab and would never give them up, insha’Allah. Her words and conviction impressed me profoundly. My mother-in-law is the most patient, sincere, and gentle person I’ve ever met, masha’Allah. She is a walking example of reliance on Allah SWT and trust in His plan. My husband’s Moroccan family, in general, welcomed me warmly before I became a Muslim, supported and loved me unconditionally, and later celebrated my conversion. I know Allah SWT has seen all of their contributions to my growth and that He SWT will reward them, insha’Allah.

    Words are powerful and we must choose them carefully. We all have the potential to support one another and enjoin each other to good, or to disparage, harm, or even mislead. Let us choose wisely, knowing that one day we will answer for our decisions.

  • A Piece of Cloth on Your Head

    A Piece of Cloth on Your Head

    The new Muslim woman, during her conversion process, goes through a transformation involving her core beliefs and worldview; this affects both her physical appearance and her mannerisms. This change is natural, and occasionally comes easily. However, it is one that has many personal and social repercussions: a shift in attire, make-up, accessories, and behavior. Everything transforms into an attitude of modesty that oftentimes clashes with what people are accustomed to. There comes a day during this transformation that the new Muslim woman feels that she no longer needs to wear tight-fitting clothing or parade around with plunging necklines to be a woman.

    Something inside her changes, and her thighs, breasts, waist, and body overall are no longer regarded as assets to be exhibited, but rather integral parts of who she is. She stops believing that “sex sells” and begins to ask herself, “What do I value?” Part of this process is the decision about wearing hijab, or the Islamic code of dress. Whether a woman wears it full-time or occasionally, it represents an attitude towards life and the externalization of a deep meaning and purpose in the life of the believer. A woman may have fullest conviction about wearing hijab as an emblem of her faith, of her dignity and modesty; or she may be working through the challenges of that important aspect of surrender to God, while that process has not yet reached its conclusion.

    Wearing Hijab – Tradition or Religious Conviction?

    When I lived in Egypt, one of the first things I noticed was the female appearance. While many women, alhamdulillah, were wearing hijab, some were wearing a pretty piece of cloth on their heads. I saw bows and a myriad of other decorations, and various colors and styles. It was then that I learned the difference between wearing hijab and internalizing its profound meaning, or merely covering your head with fabric.

    When I first arrived in Egypt from my native Colombia, I was advised to not go out in the streets without hijab, but I was not given an Islamic reason. Submission to Divine Will was not mentioned, neither was modesty or decorum, which is what Allah mentions in the following verse: “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and not to display their beauty and ornaments except what [ordinarily] appears thereof; and they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty…” (Quran, 24:31). Instead, I was told that in Egypt, some men treat women without hijab as prostitutes, so to avoid any harassment – especially considering my foreign appearance – it would be better for me to cover myself.

    This advice led me to reflect about dressing Islamically in Egypt, or any other country where doing so might be more traditional than spiritual. Some women cover their hair because this is imposed by their tradition, the customs of their country, because it is demanded by family members, or because they must camouflage themselves while in public or else attract attention. But the fact that they wear a cloth covering their hair does not make them modest or reserved. I saw women covering their tresses, but their garments did not meet the requirements of hijab.

    In the midst of this scenario, I remembered my sisters in Latin America who live in an opposite situation: there, to wear hijab on an everyday basis can result in loss of job, tension with, or rejection by, family, confrontation with peers — all because they feel a devotion to worshipping Allah and submitting to His Will. I know sisters who took their shahadah, testimony of faith, and the very next day, Allah gave them the strength to begin wearing hijab regularly. Others are just barely able to walk the path to finding that resolve, while there are still others who have been Muslim for some time, but they find that for varying reasons, they still cannot come to the conviction to wear hijab as a habit of daily living. They prefer to simply live and dress modestly, although they do not cover their hair. These sisters not only have to deal with their own spiritual development, but also the finger-pointing from Muslims who accuse them of lacking faith.

    Respecting Each Woman’s Journey of Submission

    Everyone must follow their path in life and make decisions per their situation. Every individual has his or her challenges and issues, both sisters and brothers. That is something we should all keep in mind because from time to time we forget that only Allah can judge intentions, and only He knows what is in the heart. Umar ibn Al Khattab (R) once said: “People were judged by the revealing of a Divine inspiration during the lifetime of Allah’s Apostle but now there is no longer any more [new revelation]. Now we judge you by the deeds you do publicly, so we will trust and favor the one who does good deeds in front of us, and we will not call him to account about what he is doing in secret, for Allah will judge him for that; but we will not trust or believe the one who presents to us with an evil deed even if he claims that his intentions were good” (Bukhari).

    The point is that hijab is not only a piece of cloth placed neatly over the hair, but much more than that. It represents submission, and in the case of converts, it is also a symbol of an internal process, an ongoing journey. We should never make assumptions about why a Muslim woman chooses to wear or not wear hijab. Intellectually, we can reflect on the impulse to cover the hair because of tradition, family or peer pressure, or duty, as distinct from observing the greater parameters of true hijab which emerges from eman and striving to surrender fully. As faith, modesty, dignity, and surrender manifest in the heart and in the mind, it is natural that the desire to cover the hair and dress modestly follows.

    Remember that Allah says in the Quran, “O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness — that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember” (7:26). The striving for righteousness is a lifelong dedication. And the transformation that a new Muslim woman experiences, in the beginning of that dedication, is profound and challenging, especially in our society, and the decision to wear hijab is an integral part of that. That process can be long and rigorous like a marathon, or it can be a sprint. Whatever it is, we must recognize that hijab is much more than a cloth on our head to cover the hair; it is an expression of one’s deepening faith, of modesty, dignity, and spiritual grace.