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Tag: doubt

  • Safeguarding Faith Against Doubt

    Safeguarding Faith Against Doubt

    “Mankind will need some form of religion until there is a cure for death.” This bold statement spoken by a sociology lecturer rings true in many ways. After all, we humans didn’t create ourselves, nor did we create the world; yet we are part of a circle of life with many unknowns. The great questions intrigue human beings like what happens to loved ones when they pass away?—followed by the jolting reality that we too must one day depart into that same mysterious unseen world. What will become of us? Will we merely cease to exist after taking our last breath, or will there be an afterlife where we’ll meet our Creator, face punishment or reward, and have all our earthly and celestial questions finally answered? Religion, in fact, is a blessing for the “faithful” because it provides answers to these perplexing questions about the “unseen” world.

    Our faith is not stagnant, but constantly in motion, either growing or diminishing.

    Individuals from all walks of life elect to become followers of a chosen faith — and as such, a believer’s life is interweaved with feelings of satisfaction and, at times, doubt stemming from internal and/or external sources. When considering the various dimensions of doubt, it would first be helpful to examine the profound concept of faith itself, which in Arabic is “iman.”

    What is Iman?

    Put simply, iman is belief or faith. The Prophet (pbuh) said that iman is “to believe in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, the Last Day, and divine destiny, both the good and the evil thereof” (Muslim). The strength and vitality of one’s iman, or faith, is a testimony to his or her commitment to the religion of Islam. Our faith is not stagnant, but constantly in motion, either growing or diminishing.

    There is also likely no greater loss for the Muslim than the loss of faith — because it is faith which is the gate keeper for ultimate success, in this life and the life to come.

    As to one’s level of iman, this can perhaps be understood by asking the following: At any given moment, how much faith do you have that Allah (SWT) is aware of and judging all that you do, and that upon your death you will be questioned and either rewarded with the bliss of Jannah or the punishment of Hell?

    The greater one’s iman, the easier it is to perform obligatory acts of worship and thus earn a place in Jannah. Iman, which inclines a person to righteous actions and to avoidance of sin, is an enduring and profound human distinction. Other personal characteristics such as wealth, talent, beauty, intelligence, etc., are insignificant in comparison to the critical issue of faith. There is also likely no greater loss for the Muslim than the loss of faith — because it is faith which is the gate keeper for ultimate success, in this life and the life to come.

    Doubting Faith

    Doubting one’s faith, questioning the authenticity of revelation, or having uncertainty about the existence of realms beyond the material one, have been a part of the human condition since the earliest days of religious discourse. Some doubts originate with the arguments or critiques made by followers of other religions or by non-believers. Other doubts are the manifestation of the normal internal struggles faced by all believers in varying degrees. That struggle might be waking up before Fajr to offer the Qiyam al-Layl prayer or, for others, offering a single prayer in a week’s time may be the struggle. Another individual may be entertaining doubts about the Quran, while another has moved to the point that he or she is considering leaving Islam all together. Struggles and doubts such as these have been expressed over social media in recent times and it will be helpful to present an Islamic response.

    Unbelief Among Academics

    I recall the first day of my university philosophy class; my professor proclaimed that he was an atheist and the first class assignment was to give our best argument for the existence of God. None of our arguments, however, proved the least bit interesting, let alone, convincing, to him. Along the same lines, one of my relatives had an unsettling experience during her first sociology class — the professor looked straight at her as he told the class he disliked anyone “who thinks they can find all of life’s answers in a holy book.” She felt that he was singling her out and it understandably made her feel very uneasy. She promptly dropped his class and enrolled in the same class with another professor.

    Colleges and universities are generally beneficial institutions of higher learning where ideas are exchanged freely and academic knowledge is disseminated. However, students should be prepared for the possibility that his or her humanities or social science professors may have an agenda with the intention of “reeducating” religious-minded students. On his website, edwardfeser.blogspot.com, Edward Feser posts a passage from the book “University and Truth” written by philosophy professor, Richard Rorty, concerning Rorty’s views of the necessity of “reeducating” university students. “…..It is a concept which I, like most Americans who teach humanities or social science in colleges and universities, invoke when we try to arrange things so that students who enter as bigoted, homophobic, religious fundamentalists will leave college with views more like our own…. we do our best to convince these students of the benefits of secularization….we teachers do our best to be Socratic, to get our job of re-education, secularization, and liberalization done by conversational exchange… So we are going to go right on trying …to strip your fundamentalist religious community of dignity, trying to make your views seem silly rather than discussable. We are not so inclusivist as to tolerate intolerance such as yours…”

    In another article entitled, “How religious are American professors?” published in 2010 on the website whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com, a study published in Sociology of Religion by Neil Gross, found that the more “elite” the university, the more “pervasive” was unbelief. At elite doctoral universities, 36.5 percent of all professors are agnostics or atheists. The area of study also made a difference with 29.3 percent of humanities professors being atheist, 32.6 percent for computer science and engineering, 39.4 percent for social sciences; and 60 percent of biologists and psychologists were reported to be agnostics or atheists.

    Claims that the Quran is Man-made

    It should come as no surprise that some humanities professors would have a problem with organized religion and holy books like the Quran, since a good number of them are atheists. One of the most common attacks on the Quran is the assertion that it is man-made, and yet one of the most significant miracles of the Quran is that it was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) who was illiterate. So how is it that an illiterate man could produce such a profound book of wisdom? Allah (SWT) answers these detractors in the Quran: “And if you are in doubt as to what We have revealed from time to time to Our servant, then produce a surah like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers besides Allah, if your [doubts] are true. But if you cannot – and of a surety you cannot — then fear the Fire whose fuel is men and stones which is prepared for those who reject Faith” (Quran 2:23-24). If the Quran were man-made, it stands to reason that it would then be subject to error. However, Allah (SWT) rejects such fallacies: “Haven’t the unbelievers considered if this was from other than Allah, they would find within it many contradictions?” (Quran 4:82).

    Claims that the Quran Was Copied from the Bible

    Stating that the Quran is copied from the Bible must be a claim by an individual who hasn’t studied or even read the Quran and/or the Bible because the two are dramatically different. Both books tell the stories about prophets from God; and understandably so, as the Quran and the original books revealed to Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them both), come from the same divine source. Allah (SWT) says: “And this Quran is not such as could ever be produced by other than Allah, but it is a confirmation of [the revelation] which was before it, and a full explanation of the [former] scripture – wherein there is no doubt – from the Lord of the worlds” (Quran 10: 37).

    There are, in fact, many differences between the Quran and the Bible. Muslims believe that over time the original revelations to the previous faith communities were changed through error, translation, or other means. The Quran stands as a criterion by which to remedy those errors. For example, in the Bible, Eve is said to have tempted Adam to eat from the tree, while in the Quranic account, Shaytan tempted both Adam and Eve together to eat from the tree. The Bible also relays that Adam and Eve came to the earth in a state of sin and according to the Christian doctrine of Original Sin, the blood of Jesus (pbuh) is necessary to purify the sins of man. However, in the Islamic account, both Adam and Eve sought and were granted forgiveness, and thus from the Muslim perspective, there is no original sin, and the blood and death of Christ as a sacrifice of atonement for the sins of man is a false doctrine. Finally, the Quran is very clear that Jesus Christ, the son of Mary, was a prophet and not the son of God. These are all significant differences, demonstrating that the Quran is not copied from the Bible.

    The Truth, Guidance, and Miracles of the Quran

    Allah (SWT) declares in the Quran, “Verily, We have revealed the Book for the people in truth. So whoever accepts the guidance benefits his own soul; and whoever goes astray, he injures his own soul. And you [Muhammad] are not a manager over them” (Quran: 39: 41). One of the greatest treasures of this world is the Quran, and one needs to read it with sincerity before understanding or guidance can grow and flourish. If one is looking sincerely for “proof” of the validity of the Quran, they will find it within its miraculous chapters.

    There are many miracles in the Quran and instances where its verses confirm recent scientific findings. One such example is the detailed description of the stages of embryonic development in the womb which was later confirmed when high-powered microscopes were invented centuries later: “Man We did create from a quintessence of clay; then We placed him as a drop in a place of rest, firmly fixed; then We made the drop into a clot of congealed blood; then of that clot We made a lump; then We made out of that lump bones and clothed the bones with flesh; then We developed out of it another creature. So blessed be Allah, the best to create!” (Quran 23:12-14).

    The Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam, available at Islam-guide.com, notes that in 1981, during the Seventh Medical Conference in Dammam, Saudi Arabia, a leading scientist in the field of anatomy and embryology, Professor Emeritus Keith L. Moore, stated the following about the Quran’s detailed description of embryonic development: “It has been a great pleasure for me to help clarify statements in the Quran about human development. It is clear to me that these statements must have come to Muhammad from God or Allah, because almost all of this knowledge was not discovered until many centuries later. This proves to me that Muhammad must have been a messenger of God or Allah.”

    There are many other examples found in the Quran of verses speaking of natural phenomena which only in the modern era were confirmed by science, including the water cycle, the geological features of mountains, the origin of the universe, and much more. A detailed examination of these and many other examples of Quranic statements predating scientific understanding can be found at Islam-guide.com, and miraclesofthequran.com. These miracles show that the Quran and science are harmonious.

    The Harmony of Belief and Science

    In reviewing Islamic history, one finds that devout Muslims have made great advancements in science over the centuries. With their full acknowledgement that all discoveries stem from divine knowledge, Muslims have made unprecedented contributions to civilization in the areas of geography, mathematics, medicine, and astronomy, to name a few. In his article, “The Limitations of Science and the Teachings of Science from the Islamic Perspective,” available on i-epistemology.net, Zaghloul R. El Nejjar mentions that the Latin root for science is “scientia” which means knowledge. This, of course, would include knowledge which could be obtained from divine scriptures. He states: “So science is defined as all the knowledge men have achieved in different places and at all times, arranged according to their subject-matter. This includes knowledge gained through Divine revelation; or by the way of human thinking and creative intellect, as well as through human legacy and tradition in these two areas. The prevailing direction, however, tends to limit the term Science to natural and experimental studies of all that is within reach of the senses and intellect in this universe (i.e. matter, energy, living beings and natural phenomena).” He argues that to limit science to mere observations made in the natural world is to limit human knowledge and reject divine wisdom

    It is this “secularization of science” that Sohaib Baig, in his article, “Science or Scientism,” available at www.albalagh.net, blames for the devastating destruction of the planet. “In essence, the current environmental disaster is a very real disaster, and is a direct consequence of rejecting God’s authority and relevance over mankind…” There is a legitimate argument to be made that science and religion must find harmony through acknowledgement of the supremacy of divine and natural law. However, to continue a secularist approach in science is arguably destructive to both man and the natural world. Parting from Islam is not only destructive to science, but also to the individual.

    Replace Islam with What?

    For those Muslims who question and doubt their faith — what lifestyle instead of the spiritual and protective ways of Islam do they seek? Would they put all their faith in science with its many limitations and “missing links,” or indulge in behaviors prompted by the lower self which seeks pleasure with no regard to consequences? Sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy out of wedlock, addiction to drugs or alcohol, depression resulting from a lack of meaning and purpose in life – these are all real and catastrophic to individuals, families, and society. Islam was sent to mankind to uplift us, enlighten us, bless us, and prevent us from harming ourselves and others. Choosing to give up the way of Islam is a decision with profound consequences. Allah (SWT) says: “Those who sell God’s covenant and their faith for a small price shall have no share the Hereafter” (Quran, 3:77). Growing nearer to Allah (SWT) and earning our place in the wondrous and blissful world of Jannah is the ultimate goal of this world, and to find success one needs to develop and maintain a strong sense of iman.

    Safeguarding Iman Against Doubt

    Everything in life needs nourishment, and iman, or faith, is no different. Our iman is always in motion, growing stronger or decreasing, and this movement is in direct response to the heedful actions we take, or neglect to take, to maintain a close relationship with Allah. He (SWT) says: “This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allah; who believe in the unseen, are steadfast in prayer, and spend out of what We Have provided for them” (Quran 2: 2-3). There are many actions we can take to safeguard our iman. Below are some examples.

    Seek Refuge in Allah Against the Accursed Shaytan: The first advice for individuals who are doubting their faith is to seek refuge in Allah (SWT) from Shaitan whose goal has always been to bring about the destruction of man. Shaytan said: “…I will lie in wait for them on Thy straight way: Then will I assault them from before them and behind them, from their right and their left: Nor will You find, in most of them, gratitude [for Thy mercies]” (Quran 7:16-17).

    Acquire an Armor of Knowledge

    One should first aspire to study and understand the Quran, then the hadith and sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Knowledge is strength and power, and Islam is built on a foundation of learning and growing. The first words of the Quran that were revealed tell us, “Read in the name of your Lord, and Cherisher…” (Quran 96:1) The Prophet (pbuh) has said, “Acquire knowledge: it enables its possessor to distinguish right from wrong, it lights the way to heaven; it is our friend in the desert, our society in solitude, our companion when friendless. It guides us to happiness; it sustains us in misery; it is an ornament among friends, and an armor against enemies.”

    Continually Polish the Heart

    Every Muslim is susceptible to suffering from a decrease in faith if their guard is down. But as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) teaches, it is mindfulness of Allah which can bring about success. He says: “There is a polish for everything that takes away rust; and the polish for the heart is the remembrance of Allah” (Bukhari). We can polish our hearts with such endeavors as attending the blessed Jumah prayer, offering our five daily prayers on time, making regular dua throughout the day, and through reading and memorizing the Quran.

    Keep Good Company

    The people we spend time with have a big impact on our thoughts, perceptions, and behavior. It is important to choose to spend time with righteous Muslims at every opportunity.

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk, then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows, then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” Thus, for Muslim college students, it can be very beneficial to join Muslim student groups and have preferable companionship, gain blessings by giving dawah to non-Muslims, and be spiritually uplifted through positive peer encouragement. All of these undertakings can instill in the individual a stronger foundation of iman.

    Strive for Certainty

    Once one has sincerely studied Islam with an open heart, uniting their intellect and heart together in confirmation of the truth and divine wisdom they have found, they then have the opportunity to taste the “sweetness” of iman. Enjoying this blissful feeling of being under the umbrella of truth, one reaches a deep-rooted level of iman and can aspire to feel Allah’s (SWT) “guiding light” of yakeen (certainty). At this level, it becomes difficult for one to be swayed by the various distractions or “glitter” of this world, and the deep roots of faith become strong and enduring.

    “Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp; the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a brilliant star lit from a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah sets forth parables to make people understand, and Allah knows all things” (Quran 24:35).

  • Coping with Difficulties Through Faith

    Coping with Difficulties Through Faith

    Sorrow. Anxiety. Anger. Melancholy. As much as we try to live a steady, happy life, discomfort of the soul is inevitable. Our peace of mind will one way or another be challenged at various points in our lives. A troubled soul from time to time is far from pleasant, but along the way, we will come to realize that it is part of the human condition.

    At times of hardship, try to pause and take a look at the people around you. Everyone has his or her own concerns; some may be experiencing issues unimaginably worse than your own. Doing this provides a greater perspective and some comfort as you know that you are not alone.

    This is perhaps rather a cliché, and is probably the last thing we would want to hear at times of hardship, but life really is a test. This reality has been stated multiple times in the Holy Quran. Like it or not, our Creator tests us in various ways. Mental and physical discomforts may be the obvious ones, but worldly pleasures and successes are tests too. In short, we have been created to be tested. If there were no tests, there would be no victories and so, there would be no spiritual elevation either.

    We were created for a reason – to worship God, and heaven and hell were created to serve a purpose, as a recompense for how one responds to the tests in this life. The Quran states, “Do the people think that they will be left to say, ‘We believe’ and they will not be tested?”(29:2). The tests are ordained by God and unavoidable, but there are several lessons about the tests from God that I have personally picked up along the way.

    The night prayer is probably one of the best anti-depressants available. There is no word to describe the beauty of the night prayers and you will only understand it once you wake up some time before dawn, get down on your knees and talk to the Lord that created you. Pour your heart out. Say what you want. Ask for what you desire. Feel with sincerity whatever emotion comes, be it gratitude, awe, sorrow, guilt, or joy. Crying is normal. And know that He is listening; you are not alone. The peace that follows is profound.

    When you are regularly praying and talking to God, your trust in Him distinctively increases. The closer you are to Him, the more you realize how dependent you are upon Him. Allah is the best of planners; He only wants what is best for His servants. Praying, doing our very best to achieve our objectives, and then leaving everything to Him takes the edge off worries, and counterbalances them with hope and trust that everything will unfold for the best. The fact is we are human and if a family member is seriously ill, one loses their job, or one’s child is doing poorly in school, it is normal to have concern, worry, uncertainty, or other distress. We must always remember, however, that no matter what situation we are in, Allah has chosen it for us. He knows best and He will provide for us no matter how difficult the circumstances. Continue praying and believing, for once we have Allah on our side, every adversity is a means to increase the ultimate good in our destiny. Allah takes care of what is His. He keeps reminding us of this compelling truth time and again in the Quran. Thus, just make sure to be His genuine servant, knowing that your life, death, and whole being belong to Him alone.

    At times of hardship, try to pause and take a look at the people around you. Everyone has his or her own concerns; some may be experiencing issues unimaginably worse than your own. Doing this provides a greater perspective and some comfort as you know that you are not alone. Everyone has challenges, sorrows, and hardships. These are the tests by which we demonstrate our faith. Acknowledging this makes us thankful and appreciative. It gives us the strength and patience to work our way through the tough times. Pause and say “alhamdulillah.” Thank Him because you are still alive. Thank Him because you have supportive family and friends. Thank Him because He did not give you a test greater than you can bear. Acknowledging and appreciating the blessings in our lives lays the foundation for peace of mind.

    Life is a roller coaster; it has its ups and downs. How we manage it is entirely up to us. The better we manage our lives at times of hardship, the more our eman grows, the more devoted we become as believers. God tests those whom He loves to bring them closer to Him, to strengthen their faith and expiate their sins. The lesson is clear – we should always work to deepen our relationship with Allah Almighty for when He is the source of our strength and hope, there is always room for happiness amidst the turmoil of life.

  • Transcending Dysfunctional and Damaging Thoughts

    Transcending Dysfunctional and Damaging Thoughts

    Consider the amazing hadeeth, “Part and parcel of right and good worship of a person is his good thought” (Al Jame’a Al Sagheer). And the Prophet (pbuh) has also said, “Had they had good thoughts, indeed they would have had good actions.” These two hadeeth demonstrate the foundational importance of good thoughts.

    We become experts at finding the evidence in our experience to support our self-limiting beliefs and ignoring anything to the contrary. And then our negative self-talk seals the deal with things like, “That always happens to me.” “See, I’m no good at that sort of thing. I knew that was going to happen.”

    Isn’t it therefore imperative to become aware of our inner thoughts, the dialogue that courses though our minds all day long? Is it possible that we have negative thoughts that we are only marginally conscious of, that keep us imprisoned in a troubled or weakened self-concept, with habits of behavior that only bring us misery? Negative thoughts are often expressed as self-limiting beliefs that keep us from deeper discovery of who we are and how to embark on paths of growth in maturity and spiritual upliftment in our daily lives.

    To understand how an individual can allow dysfunctional and damaging thoughts to keep him shackled and resigned, consider elephants. These incredibly strong animals can be controlled and used for manual labor if they are conditioned while still young. The elephant’s leg is tied to a stake in the ground with a thick rope so that it can move only a few feet. At first the young elephant will attempt to pull free from the stake and rope, but over time, after numerous attempts, he gives up and accepts his captivity. Even when full-grown, with more than enough strength to break free from the stake and rope, the elephant is conditioned to believe that he cannot escape. The elephant could walk away at any time, but his conditioning, like our self-limiting thoughts, keeps him captive for the rest of his life.

    Human Beings Internalize Self-limiting Beliefs While They Are Young and Vulnerable

    Self-limiting beliefs are often established early in life. Imagine a child in 3rd grade who is a slow learner. It appears to him that he doesn’t learn things as easily as the other children. He repeats countless times to himself, “I am stupid.” And he might reach adulthood actually believing he is stupid, even though that might be far from the reality. Intellectual capacity and individual modes of learning are two different things. But he couldn’t know that as a child. So unless a parent or teacher or counselor intervened, he would internalize that self-concept of being stupid. The sad thing about self-limiting beliefs is that it is like wearing blinders — the pair of leather flaps attached to a horse’s bridle to cut off his side vision. We tend to focus on the things in front of us that conform to and reinforce our self-concept.

    Neuropsychology explains the human tendency to find all the evidence he needs in the world and in his experience to support and perpetuate his self-concept, even if much of that is founded on notions that disparage and limit the self. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is a cluster of brain cells that serves an alerting or arousal function. The RAS filters the enormous number of bits of data streaming in through the senses each second. Based upon our priorities, including beliefs about the self and its potential or its limitations, the RAS filters out the seemingly irrelevant data and alerts us to that data which is relevant to our worldview and personal perspectives. The data will be consistent with our priorities, even if that includes negative beliefs like:

    • “I can’t change, I am who I am.”
    • “Allah SWT will never forgive my sins, they are unforgivable.”
    • “There is never enough time to do what I want. I have no control over my time.”
    • “If I fail, I’ll be embarrassed to try again.”
    • “If I haven’t been successful yet, I never will be.”
    • “I’ll never learn to focus and concentrate in my prayer.”
    • “I need other people’s approval to feel good about myself.”
    • “If I speak my mind, I will be rejected.”
    • “I always have to struggle, while others have it easier than me.”

    We become experts at finding the evidence in our experience to support our self-limiting beliefs and ignoring anything to the contrary. And then our negative self-talk seals the deal with things like, “That always happens to me.” “See, I’m no good at that sort of thing. I knew that was going to happen.” The RAS and our limiting self-talk form a seeming comfort zone. But it is an illusion. The reality is we are flailing about, without taking charge of our lives, like being adrift at sea, tossed around by powerful waves. For some people the idea of taking an inventory of their thoughts in order to discover negative or disempowering ideations or self-limiting beliefs is just too much of a struggle. Or that the struggle will never bring about a positive outcome. But we now know that this too is just self-limiting belief. Re-framing that perspective on struggle with an empowering frame of reference can be a springboard to transformation of self.

    Struggle Out of the Cocoon Brings Freedom

    A powerful reference about struggle is found in the following parable. A man found a cocoon, the silky enclosure spun by the larvae of many insects, to serve as a covering while they are in the pupal stage. This was the cocoon of a butterfly and the man decided to watch and witness the gradual emergence of the beautiful insect. One day he noticed a small opening had appeared. The man watched for several hours as the butterfly struggled to push itself through the small hole. When it seemed that the butterfly no longer was making any progress, the man decided to help it by carefully making a slit in the cocoon with a scissors. The butterfly emerged easily, but its body was swollen and its wings small and unextended. The man watched, waiting for the body to contract and the wings to expand and strengthen. It never happened! This butterfly would never fly. It spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

    What the man did not realize is that the butterfly’s struggle to emerge out of the tightly-fitting cocoon, through the small opening, was necessary to force fluid from the body into the wings, to achieve the proper proportions with a sleek body and strong expanded wings able to support flight. And that struggle unfolds in a proper order, in a methodical and brilliantly designed sequence of things.

    It is the struggle out of the cocoon that brings about the freedom to fly!

    Our self-imposed limitations are like the cocoon. The Reticular Activating System and negative defeatist self-talk filter out any evidence contrary to one’s self-imposed limitations. We can freely accept the challenge of a struggle to emerge from the cocoon, using that struggle to purify ourselves from all unwholesome or distorted thinking, from attitudes and notions about life, our own selves, and other people that sap our vitality and end up serving destructive habits of behavior. Or we can maintain the cocoon as a self-imposed prison, to insulate ourselves from the reality of our human challenge. If we stay in the cocoon, we think that this is a protected state but it is instead like being squeezed by a vise, leading to nothing but spiritual ruin. If we try to sneak out of the cocoon without the properly ordered and proportioned struggle, it is likewise nothing but spiritual ruin — like the butterfly with swollen body and shriveled wings.

    Examples of short-cutting abound in everyday life. Putting on a wise and good-mannered appearance when in public while behaving in a madly intolerant and controlling way at home is trying to sneak out of the cocoon. Speaking to other people in beautiful language of hope and inspiration while habitually ruminating about one’s own fears and doubts is sidestepping the struggle. Comforting oneself that it’s God’s will that one failed the course when the reality is that study got pushed aside time and again for gaming — that’s skipping out on the struggle. There is order and proportion in a genuine struggle for mastery of self. Expecting responsible and good-mannered behavior from family members is good; indulging in a power trip of bullying and intimidation creates psychological and emotional confusion and disturbance. Wanting to uplift other people is good; not practicing what one recommends to other people disorders one’s personal reality with the falseness of pretense. Relaxation and recreation are perfect counterbalance to hard work; putting them ahead of obligation and commitment disproportions one’s activities.

    Everything must be according to the proper order and proportion in order for us to attain to true health, happiness, and success. “By the soul, and the proportion and order given to it; and its inspiration as to its wrong and its right – truly he succeeds who purifies it, and he fails who corrupts it” (Qur’an 91:7-10).

    Practical Steps to Discipline the Inner Chatter

    In order to discover any self-limiting beliefs, or dysfunctional and damaging thoughts that cycle through our minds, we can practice a simple yet powerful technique. It brings us greater awareness of our thoughts and provides tools to bring refinement and discipline to the inner chatter.

    Step one: become aware of your inner dialogue. For one week, catch yourself 3 or 4 times a day in the midst of this chatter. Observe it neutrally and without judging yourself. See if it is supportive of a positive outlook, of your faith, your goals, and your mental and emotional health; see if it supports your efforts to fulfill your greatest potential. Or is it negative and undermining of that?

    Step two: practice negative-thought stopping. The second week, every time you become aware of negative thoughts which are undermining your determination, STOP that thought with a superior, stronger, healing thought. One can choose anything – an adage, an affirmation, whatever works for you. You can also choose from countless profoundly inspiring and supportive Quranic verses. For example, you can learn in Arabic and /or English “…to Allah we belong and to Him is our return.” This of course comes from the beautiful verses, “O you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer. For Allah is with those who patiently persevere……. and give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere – who say when afflicted with calamity ‘to Allah we belong and to Him is our return.’ They are those on whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And they are the ones that receive guidance” (2:153-157).

    If those who are faced with calamity are being prompted to say “to Allah we belong and to Him is our return,” and are assured that they will then receive blessings and mercy and guidance from Allah SWT, then certainly the power of these words, the meaning and hope and comfort, is sufficient to stop a negative and undermining thought. One can also choose from many other verses, such as: “Allah places no burden on any soul greater than he can bear” (2:286); “With every difficulty there is relief” (94:5-6); “Not a leaf falls without His knowledge and permission” (6:59).

    This is a powerful tool to stop negative inner dialogue so that those counter-productive thoughts do not develop and grow and control us. There was a woman who sought counseling because she engaged in thoughts of disaster whenever her child got sick, or her husband was late in coming from work, or their finances were tight. She learned this technique of thought stopping, using Quranic verses, and within two months she had mastered the technique and no longer was a victim of her negative thoughts. You cannot imagine the positive energy that was released that she could use in productive ways, once she was master rather than slave to her thoughts. Reflect on the profound reality that inner thoughts can become impulses or desires; and impulses can become actions; and actions can become habits.

    Step three: increase your fluency in positive inner thoughts by keeping a journal. When you become aware of a pattern of habitual negative chatter or framing, take 5-10 minutes to compose a positive dialogue to replace the negative one and write them both in a journal. This is an amazing process when we begin to pull from our minds and hearts the power to articulate a frame of reference for any situation which increases our eman, supports our efforts to achieve a goal, brings Allah SWT to remembrance, and helps us to implement the wisdom of the Islamic teachings. Remember, our inner dialogue can reinforce —

    • discipline or laziness
    • a positive outlook for pessimism
    • being genuine or putting on a pretense
    • patience or impatience
    • tolerance or meanness and bigotry
    • self-restraint or angry outbursts and rage

    That list could go on endlessly and shows the power of thought as well as the potential to choose the mood and tenor of the moment at hand. Every time you make the effort to write down in a journal a positive replacement for a negative thought, you strengthen your capacity and your resolve to do that spontaneously whenever you encounter frustration, annoyance, hardship, etc. Keep in mind that it takes time to become skilled at catching ourselves when we entertain a counter-productive thought; and it takes practice to be able to spontaneously replace it with a thought/statement that serves our faith, character, and goals in a more productive way. Here are some examples:

    Intolerance — a mother who can’t stand her kids’ frequent arguing

    Negative inner dialogue: “Oh my God, we haven’t been awake even one hour and already they are fighting. This is going to be another miserable day. I just can’t stand it anymore. I actually feel at this moment that I hate my kids…astaghfiru Allah.”

    Positive replacement: “Oh my God, we haven’t been awake even one hour and already they are fighting. Okay, let me just remind myself that they are just being kids. This is great opportunity to practice patience and perseverance (sabr) and know that Allah loves me and rewards me for that. The way I choose to respond in this stressful situation is the very test for which I was put in this dunya.”

    Impatience — a man who is stuck in a traffic jam and late for a meeting with a prospective client

    Negative inner dialogue: “Move it, come on get going, what the heck is wrong with all you drivers. This is ridiculous, I’m going to miss the meeting. Oh my God, the boss will be furious with me and probably fire me for messing this up. I’m sure we’re going to lose this new client. Come on you morons, move it!”

    Positive replacement: “Oh no, traffic isn’t moving, what am I going to do. Wait a minute. Let me breathe deeply and put this in perspective. There’s nothing I can do, it’s out of my control. And everything is in the hands of Allah SWT. I’ll just do my best when I get to the meeting. And I’ll apologize for being late and then impress the client with how well prepared I am, insha’Allah.”

    Anger — a man whose son has not done his homework

    Negative inner dialogue: “I can’t believe he is so irresponsible. This makes me really mad. He’s just wasting my time with this nonsense, being sloppy and lazy. What’s wrong with him…? All that TV and playing video games have ruined him. I need to make him wake up…I’m gonna show him what a real father looks like!”

    Positive replacement: “I can’t believe he didn’t do his work. Wait a minute, let me practice ‘the pause’ and not get carried away. I remember when I was his age and how I would just goof off some times. Let me re-examine my approach with him and see if there is a better way that can motivate him and help him to be more consistent in taking care of his responsibilities. This is a good chance to practice sabr.”

    Remember — the practice of writing positive thoughts to replace negative ones strengthens our capacity and our resolve to do that spontaneously whenever we encounter frustration, annoyance, hardship, or any other difficulty in daily living. It is a coping skill that everyone who learns it, comes to love and value tremendously.

    Step four: Make a resolution to go through one hour or part of a day with no negative inner dialogue. This is not as easy as it sounds, but its rewards are endless. Engaging in positive inner thoughts becomes a virtuous habit, just as negative inner thoughts become a harmful habit. Shaykh Ibn Al-Qayyim makes this significance clear with an analogy. He says that Allah SWT has created the human mind like a millstone which does not stop grinding day or night. Those who habitually produce in their minds positive thoughts, are like those who put wholesome grains in their millstone, and thus produce good flour, to nourish themselves and others. But, he says, most people grind nothing but dirt and stones — meaning negative, harmful thoughts — all day long, day in and day out. When the Trumpet is blown signaling the Day of Judgment, it is time to bake our bread; and then every individual will know what he has been grinding in his millstone: wholesome, nourishing grain or dirt and stones!