Narratives are important. They are central to how we understand ourselves and betoken not just the chronology but also the meaning of our lives. Narratives are the stories we tell ourselves and others about who we are, what our experiences have been, and what we project, both positive and negative on the future. Narratives help us make sense of the world.

There is healing in sharing our story with someone willing to “walk a mile in our shoes.”

There are personal narratives and those of tribes, faith communities, cultures, and nations. Narratives are very powerful in their effect on individuals and groups. A personal narrative that says “Oh, poor me, nothing ever goes right… everything is stacked against me. What’s the use of trying anything since I’m just going to fail in the end” —this narrative, when believed with one’s heart and soul, vigorously demotivates this person and he is likely to fail at everything he tries as his narrative is self-sabotaging. Conversely, taking a group narrative as an example, one that says “My country is the greatest in the world, we are the most moral and generous people, always looking to advance the cause of freedom, social justice, and democracy”— this narrative, when believed with one’s heart and soul, motivates this person to be zealously patriotic and nationalistic. This is a narrative of self and national aggrandizement.

It should be no surprise to us that narratives are an odd mix of reality and bunk, ranging from pure propaganda to something of deception (of self and others) to truth-telling. Every culture throughout history has plied its way forward through storytelling, using narratives to not only preserve its traditions, but also to educate or entertain. Cultural narratives endure because a multitude finds some sense or solace or inspiration in the message. And they act as audience again and again to the messages.

Interfaith dialogue can help one to understand the viewpoints of others, even those who had been seen as enemies.

Personal narratives also require audience. We all need people in our lives that are willing to listen to us, to try to understand our experience, what we are going through, our suffering, loss, triumph, or hope. But there is no guarantee that people will listen to our story when we need a sympathetic ear. Like the father in Anton Chekhov’s short story, Misery, we may find no one who will take the time to share our burden. The father is a Russian sleigh-driver and wants desperately to share his grief over his son’s death in the past week. He tries to no avail to share his despair with his passengers, one after another. The father “cannot think about his son when he is alone…. To talk about him with someone is possible, but to think of him and picture him is insufferable anguish….” Finally, he finds his only comfort in telling his trusty horse about his misery.

Healing Through Narratives

Indeed, there is healing in sharing our story with someone willing to “walk a mile in our shoes.” Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott wrote a book called Trading Places. They affirm that “When you accurately see any situation from another’s point of view, when you can experience it like they do, you instantly take a different approach to it.” Mahatma Gandhi said, “Three quarters of the miseries and misunderstandings in the world would finish, if people were to put on the shoes of their adversaries and understood their points of view.”

Consider the following, modified from a true story related by a faith-based group in St. Louis:

One winter day a group of people were meeting at a local community center. They were citizens who were concerned about the growing number of homeless individuals in their city and they were meeting in an impoverished part of town, discussing various ideas about how they could effectively help those in need and how they could counteract the government policies that were cutting into the safety net for the poor. All of sudden the door of the meeting room opened and a old woman, bent with fatigue and wearing ragged clothing, stood there awkwardly and clearly embarrassed. The meeting leader asked, “May I help you?” The woman apologized for interrupting them and then said, “I wonder if you can tell me where the nearest Salvation Army center is.” The meeting leader asked, “Are you looking for a meal?” The woman answered, “No, I need to get a pair of shoes.” The meeting leader had already noticed that the woman’s shoes were full of holes and falling apart. She asked the woman, “What size do you wear?” “Eight and a half,” answered the woman. The leader bent down and took off one of her shoes and said, “Please sit here and try this on.” The needy woman said, “Oh, I couldn’t do that, those are brand new shoes.” The leader gently encouraged her to try them on and the woman slipped on the shoes and a slightly sheepish smile appeared on her face as she quietly said, almost in a whisper, “They’re so nice and warm.” The leader touched her arm and said, “Please consider them yours. I’ve got another pair at home.” The poor woman thanked her and as she left she said, “God bless all of you.”

After the homeless woman left, everyone was quiet, touched by what they had witnessed. One man in the group said, “But how will you go home? It’s snowing and cold and you don’t have any shoes.” The generous woman said, “My socks are thick…and I do have a pair of shoes…” as she put the homeless woman’s worn and torn shoes on her feet. As the group were leaving, one person said, “Be careful that you don’t step into icy puddles with those shoes on. They’re full of holes.” The woman answered with a smile, “I’ll be careful…now I’ll really know what it’s like to walk in the shoes of a poor, hurting human being. I just wish that our government officials could walk in these shoes on a cold, wet, snowy night!”

Narratives in Interfaith Dialogue

Narratives, as we can see, are also ways to instruct, to make a moral point. Sometimes through narrative we can persuade another to see things differently, to change their perspective about an issue or just to consider elements that escaped their notice previously. One of the most favorable venues for personal narratives is interfaith dialogue. Those who participate have the opportunity to share what brought them to the group, what memories or experiences predisposed them to want to reach out and find common ground with persons from other faith communities. Some individuals, whether Christian, Jewish, or Muslim, think that interfaith dialogue requires one to dilute their religious precepts; or that the participants are looking to develop some syncretistic faith, a kind of merging of the various faith traditions into one universalist religion. But most participants in interfaith dialogue will tell you that is not at all the case. Each comes to the experience with conviction about his or her belief system and religious tradition. Most will say they are not looking to convert and do not expect to be converted to some other faith tradition. They are looking to share, to build understanding, to develop structures and collaborative opportunities to fight for social justice and contribute to peacemaking in the world.

Narratives Can Transform

A most compelling example of such an experience is the case of Miko Peled. Peled comes from a very prominent Israeli family. His grandfather was amongst the founders of Israel, and his father was a renowned general in the Israeli army and directly involved in military decision-making, especially with regard to the Six Day War. How is it that Miko Peled, a Jewish man from a renowned Zionist family, came to the perspective that Israel was built on myth and double standard, that it is in no way a democracy, and that it is nothing short of an apartheid society, governed by a radical regime?

In an interview he did in 2012 with Alex Becker of realchangenews.org, Peled shared how he came to understand the reality of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. He says that after he served in the Israeli military, he travelled widely and then settled in San Diego to raise a family. In 1997 he got the news that his 13-year-old niece, Smadar, had been killed in a suicide bombing in Jerusalem. Peled’s sister, the mother of Smadar, blamed the policies of the Israeli government; she firmly believed that her daughter was “sacrificed for the Israeli government’s megalomania.” Peled says that this family tragedy and his sister’s dissident viewpoint “helped set me on the right path.” He found out about and started attending a Jewish-Palestinian dialogue group in Southern California. He points out in the interview that despite having grown up in Israel in such close proximity to Palestinians and with such egregious conflict raging in his own country throughout his lifetime, he did not meet a Palestinian until he was 39 years old. He says, “You know, there’s this image of Jerusalem, that it’s a united, multicultural city. It is multicultural, but it’s completely segregated. It’s a racist city, and there’s a lot of discrimination. So if you’re an Israeli boy growing up, you go to school, but you never meet Palestinians. You never see Palestinians. You know, they could be on the moon. If you do see them, they are in marketplaces or working as laborers. So the first time I really met Palestinians was in San Diego.”

He relates that his transformation took place during his experience in attending this interfaith, intercultural group. Peled says, “…if you want dialogue to work, there’s a point you have to cross, the point where trust replaces fear. I had to replace my fear with trust. The Palestinians I spent time with in these groups were very nurturing and generous. The fear was not so much of the people: Really, the fear was learning the horrific truth. As I listened, I learned about what we did — not from a book or from a political statement or a speech, but from people just sitting like this and telling their story, not intending to convince anyone and not intending to accuse anyone. That’s the power of dialogue.”

He learned from the Palestinians sitting across from him their perspective and their experience of the Nakba (the Catastophe) and its ongoing aftermath. In listening to their stories, hearing their narratives about how the Zionist forces “began a massive assault on the Palestinian towns and began a massive campaign of ethnic cleansing,” he says that he had a hard time coming to terms with this other side of the story: “It was absolutely horrific. I don’t know how to describe it. I wasn’t only proud of being an Israeli, I was proud of being an Israeli with pedigree. My grandfather’s name is on the Declaration of Independence, you know. It was pretty hard, and it took a long time to process.”

But he did process it. He writes on his blog, http://mikopeled.com, “The State of Israel today is governed in a way that cannot be sustained, where the two nations it governs, Israelis and Palestinians are used and abused and it is a state of affairs that should not be tolerated…one nation ruling over another while controlling of the land and its resources. It is a reality where half of the population lives in what it thinks is a Western democracy while keeping the other half imprisoned by a ruthless defense apparatus that is becoming more violent by the day. In my book, The General’s Son, Journey of an Israeli in Palestine, I show how it is that the son of an Israeli General and a staunch Zionist came to these realizations. Realizing that your side of the story is not the only side to the story, and then accepting rather than fighting this realization and in the end finding that the story upon which I was raised, was a lie – now that is an interesting journey.” (For more of Peled’s story and viewpoints, go to YouTube and search Miko Peled 1 of 5 “The General’s Son.”)

Interfaith dialogue, as Peled’s story shows, can help one to understand the viewpoints of others, even those who had been seen as enemies. We should take note that Peled says the Palestinians in the group were “very nurturing and generous”; here they were, sitting across from a man who belonged to the nation that occupied their land and relentlessly oppressed them and their families, yet they spoke “not intending to convince anyone and not intending to accuse anyone.” And so that man who had been of the enemy, now became a true friend and a supporter of Palestinian rights. As Peled said, “That’s the power of dialogue.”

“And who could be better of speech than he who calls [his fellow-men] unto God, and does what is just and right, and says, ‘Verily, I am of those who have surrendered themselves to God?’ Nor can goodness and evil be equal. Repel [evil] with what is better — then he between whom you and him there was enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend!” (Qur’an 41:33-34).

Further Objectives in Interfaith Dialogue

In Dialogue in Islam: Qur’an, Sunnah, History, authors Ahmet Kurucan and Mustafa Kas?m Erol describe a number of other objectives, not as dramatic as the transformation that Peled underwent but nonetheless important, that can be achieved through interfaith dialogue:

“Dialogue enriches our experience as human beings.

Dialogue can enhance our understanding of ourselves because, by contextualizing ourselves among others who are different, we see our own beliefs, values and identities more clearly.

[Through dialogue,] we see more clearly what is distinctive in our own identity, as well as learning to appreciate what is distinctive about others.

[In dialogue] we challenge stereotypes, correct misconceptions and reduce prejudice. In turn we gain understanding of the beliefs and values of those others, which may correct mistakes in our perceptions of them.

Dialogue can enable us to explore together solutions to all kinds of shared problems. Today we face global problems such as moral degeneration, environmental pollution, unfair distribution of economic gains, disease, poverty, collapse of family values, fanaticism in the name of race, religion and nationalism, and problems threatening world peace such as terrorism, war and exploitation.”

The urgency for cooperation to solve the issues of our day is echoed by many. Jorge Mario Bergoglio, who chose the name “Francis” upon becoming Pope this year, has been known throughout his life for humility, dedication to helping the poor and marginalized, and being committed to dialogue as the means to bring people together to solve our human problems. He chose the name Francis after Francis of Assisi (who died in 1226) whose devotion “to make society more humane and more just” makes the name-choice fitting. The day following his inauguration, the Pope addressed representatives from Christian and non-Christian religions who had been invited to Rome. He first addressed the Muslims who, he said, “adore the one, living, and merciful God and who call upon Him in prayer.” Then, to all of those in the audience, he said, “I really appreciate your presence. In it I see a tangible sign of the desire to grow in mutual respect and cooperation for the common good of humanity.” On another occasion he said, “My wish is that the dialogue between us should help to build bridges connecting all people, in such a way that everyone can see in the other not an enemy, not a rival, but a brother or sister to be welcomed and embraced.”

The press release of the 2009 book, The Saint and the Sultan: The Crusades, Islam, and Francis of Assisi’s Mission of Peace by Paul Moses, describes the meeting between St. Francis of Assisi and Malik al-Kamil, the Sultan of Egypt and nephew of Salah ad-Din: “In 1219, as the Fifth Crusade was being fought, Francis crossed enemy lines to gain an audience with Malik al-Kamil, the Sultan of Egypt. The two talked of war and peace and faith and when Francis returned home, he proposed that his Order of the Friars Minor live peaceably among the followers of Islam–a revolutionary call at a moment when Christendom pinned its hopes for converting Muslims on the battlefield.”

In Franciscan Nonviolence: Stories, Reflections, Principles, Practices and Resources by Butigan, Litell, and Vitale, the authors write that the encounter between Francis of Assisi and the Sultan represents “the ability to listen respectfully, and to be willing to be changed by an aspect of truth expressed by another.” They write that Francis of Assisi and Sultan Malik al-Kamil demonstrated “a willingness to search together for aspects of truth found in different traditions.” In a piece on Huffington Post, author Omar Sacirbey writes, “Chris van Gorder, a scholar of Christian-Muslim relations at Baylor University, asserts that St. Francis, a former soldier, was driven by compassion, a hatred for war, a desire to learn from others, and ‘to build missionistic bridges of reconciliation and healing.’” According to Van Gorder, “St. Francis of Assisi was a confident evangelist and a fearless peacemaker who was appalled at the rapacious violence of his era.”

The Need for Increasing Dialogue

Today we are also living in an era of rapacious violence. And we are living in an era of increasing inter-religious dialogue. Adnan Husain, who teaches at Queen’s University in Canada and is the author of Identity Polemics: Encounters with Islam in the Medieval Mediterranean World (1150-1300), points out that such dialogues were commonplace in the Islamic world in the Middle Ages and public debates and discussions among Muslims, Jews, and Christians were evidence of a multi-religious society. While those debates and discussions were more intended to competitively demonstrate the truth of one’s own religion than to reach greater mutual understanding, they were noteworthy for their liveliness and passion. Rabbi Eric H. Yoffe warns of the tendency of interfaith groups today to be satisfied with “mouthing a few noble, often-repeated sentiments.” He says of these groups, “if we don’t dig beneath the surface and focus on substance rather than rhetoric, they mean very little.” Yet despite the flaws, he continues in his dedication to participating in interfaith dialogue because “very occasionally, something extraordinary happens: One of these conversations changes me, binds me to my colleagues, advances my understanding of myself and others, and adds texture and depth to my own religious beliefs and convictions.” While he acknowledges that he and other participants are too often “caught in the same old patterns and clichés that predominate in these settings,” those magical moments do transpire and make it all worthwhile: “Still, from time to time, we find a way to speak from the heart. When we do, God’s presence — variously felt and differently experienced — creates an atmosphere of faith, partnership and common purpose in the room. For those rare moments, I will continue to make the effort, without regrets.”

Protest and Prayer

Those magical moments happen when people speak from the heart, when they voice their spiritual passion and ethical commitment. What unites participants at an interfaith meeting is their devotion to God, their commitment to serve others and society, and their insistence that social justice must be wrought from the dedicated efforts of those who believe in truth and justice, whatever their religious persuasion. That passion is communicated in many ways. Abraham Joshua Heschel , a rabbi and civil rights activist, was a contemporary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and there are photos of him walking arm-in-arm with King in the front row of marchers at Selma in 1965. He later wrote about his experience of that march, “For many of us the march from Selma to Montgomery was about protest and prayer. Legs are not lips and walking is not kneeling. And yet our legs uttered songs. Even without words, our march was worship. I felt my legs were praying.” That is the depth of passion that inspires others.

Heschel has said that the religious individual is one ”… whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.” We indeed, must not despair at the complex array of challenges and issues that the world today faces. And we must be creative and resourceful in fighting for a just society. The power of people everywhere, decent, caring people who communicate and collaborate, form the foundation upon which to demand justice for all human beings. King wrote, “To accept passively an unjust system is to cooperate with that system.” He also said, “We must all learn to live together as brothers or we will all perish together as fools.”

A Great World House

In Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. astutely points out, “This is the great new problem of mankind. We have inherited a large house, a great world house in which we have to live together—black and white, Easterner and Westerner, Gentile and Jew, Catholic and Protestant, Moslem and Hindu — a family unduly separated in ideas, culture and interest, who, because we can never again live apart, must learn somehow to live with each other in peace.”

Interfaith dialogue facilitates our living together in the “great world house,” in finding our common ground, in learning to speak our personal narratives from the heart so that others, possibly, might be touched and transformed. Dialogue also allows us to practice “listening respectfully, and to be willing to be changed by an aspect of truth expressed by another,” to put on the shoes of the “other” with volition and courage, even the shoes of our adversaries so that we might “understood their points of view” and then possibly, be transformed ourselves. Dialogue provides opportunity to “search together for aspects of truth found in different traditions.” All these are ways to “dig beneath the surface and focus on substance rather than rhetoric” so that we might together, in great and growing numbers, incline toward peace and “learn to live together as brothers [and sisters].” Because too many appear willing to “perish together as fools.”

“O humankind, We created you from a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another. In God’s eyes, the most honored of you are the ones most mindful of Him: God is All-Knowing, All-Aware” (Qur’an 49:13).

“And what is there to life if a man cannot hear the lonely cry of a whippoorwill or the arguments of the frogs around a pond at night. I am a red man and do not understand. The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of the pond, and the smell of the wind itself, cleansed by a midday rain or scented with the pinyon pine. This we know — the earth does not belong to man but man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons and daughters of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.”

Man did not weave the web of life and death and suffering and relief. But he has capacity to act so as to increase the wellsprings of living in goodness, peace, and contentment; and to diminish the suffering

These eloquent words are commonly attributed to Chief Seattle (an Anglicization of Si’ahl) in an 1854 speech to his tribe. He was chief of the Duwamish, the Native American Indian people of the western part of Washington State. It turns out that the words were actually penned in 1972 by screenwriter Ted Perry as a fictional account of Si’ahl’s speech, for a documentary about the environment. The words, nonetheless, describe the reciprocity with the natural world that man must respect and abide by. The native American Indians, like so many other cultures of the past, lived within parameters that sought not to exploit nature but to work with nature so that the give and take of sustainable existence is observed and fulfilled. As Francis Bacon, 17th century scientist said, “Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.”

That interconnectedness of all life upon the earth, “the web of life,” is remarkably mirrored in modern technologies of communication. That the internet is called the “worldwide web” is no misnaming. We are all wired into a global intelligence network, an information processing system that has been called the “global brain.” Some observers have likened webpages to neurons in the brain and hyperlinks to synapses. Is this modern phenomenon an outward sign of something fundamental to the human condition? Is this interconnectedness a defining quality of our humanity?

Tawhid: The Integrating Principle

For Muslims, the fundamental and integrating principle of belief is tawhid. The first meaning of this is the oneness of God, without partner, the single creator and ruler of the universe. What follows is a well-ordered and harmonious creation whose objects and phenomena derive from the one source, a divine maker and designer of not only the material world but also the physical and social laws that govern all existence and relationships, weaving created things together in a “web of life.” In this coherent schema of existence, the oneness of God imports the unity and brotherhood of humankind, and this is confirmed in the Qur’an: “Mankind was one single nation, and Allah sent Messengers with glad tidings and warnings…” (2:213), and “O humankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another…” (49:13). Then the more intimate ties of family and marriage are ordained: “It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage…” (25:54).

Their test of hunger or thirst or calamity or abandonment or loss is our test — will we answer their need?

The integrating principle of tawhid also holds important implications for economic policy and practice. Since we are all provided for by Allah SWT — “How many are the creatures that carry not their own sustenance? It is Allah who feeds them and you, for He hears and knows [all things]” (Qur’an 29:60) — the wealth that an individual acquires is his to use but is not to be hoarded or used in immoral or exploitive ways. And there are rights upon that wealth owed to orphans, widows, the hungry, and the underprivileged. All economic activity, industry, business transactions, production and distribution, buying and selling – all are undertaken within a moral context and with the underlying goal of maintaining, safeguarding, and promoting social justice and collective well-being.

The society as a whole is ennobled by this social contract, one which demands that those who are disadvantaged and/or deprived of basic necessities be cared for by those who are able to provide. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “The highest level of the intellect, after eman, is to be of service to the creation.” And this service is to be sincere, a natural expression of genuine faith: “Have you seen the one who denies the Judgment? That is he who pushes the orphan aside and does not promote feeding the poor. Woe, then, unto those who pray, but are neglectful of their prayers, those who would be seen [in worship] but refuse to share necessities of life with others” (Quran 107:1-7). Additionally, circumstance of misfortune can happen to any person at any time. When the hurricane rips through a town and homes are destroyed, when drought sears the crops and diminishes the food supply, when economies falter and unemployment soars – each person affected is tested by God. Will he maintain his faith, will she keep her hope alive, will they thank God for whatever bounties and mercies, however small, are granted?

Being Tested in this Life

Each person faces such tests in this life. And many, if not most, feel empathy that moves them to donate to relief causes after a humanitarian crisis in war-torn regions, or following an earthquake or other natural disaster, or to bring food supplies to areas afflicted by famine or water to drought victims. We feel empathy and remember that helping others is a virtue, enjoined upon us by Islamic teachings. Thus, we feel good about any contribution of money, time, or other resource to help others, to donate charitably to good causes, to support relief efforts. But we don’t often think in terms of this principle: The test of one believer is a test for all believers; and by extension, the test of one human being is a test for all human beings. But when we learn of some hardship a person, a family, or a community is suffering, sometimes the inner dialogue goes something like this: “Oh, those poor people, that is so horrible. O Allah, please help them, bring them relief, provide them with what they need to recover from this…and I’ll do my part and contribute…O thank God that wasn’t me!…my hardships are bad enough!…” Those private thoughts are natural to the human condition. But we need to remind ourselves again and again that humanity is interconnected; and even more thoroughly, the ummah is as integrally joined as interlaced fingers. The Prophet said, “A faithful believer to a faithful believer is like the bricks of a wall, enforcing each other.” While (saying that) the Prophet clasped his hands, by interlacing his fingers (Bukhari).

The natural world offers us much food for thought and a trove of insights. Geese provide a good lesson in solidarity of purpose, in moving toward a common goal, sharing responsibility, motivating and encouraging one another, and taking care of those who stumble along the way. When migrating, these large waterbirds fly in a “V” formation and the flapping of wings by each bird creates an updraft for the bird behind it. The “V” formation adds roughly 70 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. When the head goose gets fatigued, it moves back in the formation and another goose takes the lead. Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. When one goose gets sick or weak or wounded and falls out of the formation, two other geese follow that goose down to the ground and stay with the afflicted goose until it is able to fly again or until it dies; and only then do they return to the sky to try and catch up with their group. In “V” formation, the geese become almost like a macro-organism. This is a cooperative synergy where hazard experienced by one part brings immediate response from other parts.

The Solidarity of the Ummah and One Human Family

The ummah is no less a cooperative synergy. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The believers, in their mutual love, mercy and compassion, are like one body: if one organ complained, the rest of the body develops a fever” (Bukhari and Muslim). The Prophet also said about fellowship: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” (Bukhari and Muslim). And further, “He who relieves a hardship of this dunya (earthly life) for a believer, Allah will relieve a hardship of the Day of Resurrection for him…” (Sahih Muslim).

Being neighborly, kind, just — benevolent in every conceivable way — applies just as much to relations with all humanity. The Prophet said, “The person who gives some relief to a widow or the poor or the needy is like the one who makes efforts in the path of Allah.” The narrator then said, “I think the Prophet also said: ‘That person is like that person who is awake in the night [praying] and does not tire, or like the person who fasts continuously’” (Bukhari and Muslim). And in another hadith: “Allah is benevolent to that person who treats others with benevolence” (Sunan Abu Dawood).

So when we see or know of someone who is suffering or enduring hardship, we recognize that he is being tested. “Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits [of your toil]; but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who, when misfortune strikes them, say: ‘Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return.’ Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord and it is those who are rightly guided” (Qur’an 2: 155). And then we remind ourselves that their suffering is a test for us as well. The Prophet peace be upon him, said:

Verily, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, would say on the Day of Resurrection: ‘O son of Adam, I was sick but you did not visit Me.’ He [the one being questioned on the Day of Judgment] would say: ‘O my Lord, how could I visit You as You are the Lord of the worlds?’ Thereupon He [SWT] would say: ‘Didn’t you know that such-and-such servant of Mine was sick but you did not visit him and were you not aware of this, that if you had visited him, you would have found Me by him?’ [The Lord would continue]: ‘O son of Adam, I asked food from you but you did not feed Me.’ He [the man] would say: ‘My Lord, how could I feed You as You are the Lord of the worlds?’ He [SWT]said: ‘Didn’t you know that such-and-such servant of Mine asked food from you but you did not feed him, and were you not aware that if you had fed him you would have found him by My side?’ [The Lord would continue]: ‘O son of Adam, I asked drink from you but you did not provide Me.’ He [the man] would say: ‘My Lord, how could I provide You as You are the Lord of the worlds?’ Thereupon He [SWT] would say: ‘Such-and-such servant of Mine asked you for a drink but you did not provide him, and had you provided him drink you would have found him near Me?’ (Muslim).

The web of life that interconnects all human beings, and interfaces all life upon the planet in an ecological homeostasis, is a profound weave that encompasses everything from the microscopic material world to the realm of galaxies, billions of them (!) that comprise the universe. Then there is the ultimate connection — that of the created world to its Creator. We know from the following verse that Allah is not a remote Creator and Lord: “We verily created man and We know what his soul whispers to him, and We are nearer to him than his jugular vein” (Qur’an 50:16). And the Prophet, pbuh, said, “Be mindful of Allah, and you’ll find Him before you” (Tirmidhi and others). This nearness is expressed by Yahya ibn al-Mu’adh al-Razi, “He who knows himself, knows his Lord.” But we can also draw close to our Lord as stipulated in the above hadith. When we visit the sick, we will find Him by the ill person’s side. When we feed the hungry or provide drink to the thirsty; when we sponsor the orphan who cries alone at night; when we attend to the needs of the widow —we find Him by those who are suffering and in need of help. In fact, the imperative responsibility to respond to the needy is made clear by recognizing that in a very real sense it is Allah SWT Who is calling us, on their behalf, to provide the food, the drink, the comfort to the sick, the relief to the victims of disaster. Their test of hunger or thirst or calamity or abandonment or loss is our test — will we answer their need?

Responsibility to Others

The Native American view of life and man’s relation to it is represented by the words imputed fictionally to Chief Si’ahl: “All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the earth, befalls the sons and daughters of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.”

Those are wise words that are consonant with Islamic teachings about man’s stewardship of the earth. And we can add something to it to express man’s responsibility to his fellow man: “All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. Whatever befalls one individual – impacts all others. Man did not weave the web of life and death and suffering and relief. But he has capacity to act so as to increase the wellsprings of living in goodness, peace, and contentment; and to diminish the suffering he finds before him as well as that which is out of view. Whatever he does to weave strands of benevolence into the web of life, he does to the betterment of his own soul and to the furtherance of well-being for all.

Let it be said again and again: The test of one believer is a test for all believers. Integrate it into our souls so that on that Day of Sorting Out, the Lord will say that such-and-such servant of His asked, and we responded, and we did so with full awareness of our responsibility, and with yearning to partake of the light when we find the Lord by his side.

According to Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, Prophet David, God bless him and give him peace, said in his prayer, “My God, who inhabits Your House? And from whom do You accept the prayer?” Allah SWT answered him by inspiration, “David, he who inhabits My House and he whose prayer I accept is none but he who is humble before My Majesty, spends his days in remembrance of Me and keeps his passions in check for My sake; gives food to the hungry and shelter to the stranger, and treats the afflicted with compassion; his light shines like the sun in the sky…”

Life today is stressful and statistics clearly show that people are not coping well, with all the indices of unhappiness sky-high. As of 2010, 36 percent of Americans were obese, as noted in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. More than 21 percent of Americans take anti-depressants, according to a report by the National Center for Health Statistics, up by almost 400% between 1988–1994 and 2005–2008. According to a survey from the APA, 33 percent of American workers experience chronic stress related to work. And a study published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation found that “chronic stress plays a significant role in cancer progression.” Data shows that roughly 28 percent of American adults drink enough that they are at risk for dependence on or excessive use of alcohol. According to the American Journal of Public Heath, suicide is now the number one cause of “injury death” in the U.S.

With an optimistic outlook, the believer also appreciates that adversity might in the long run benefit him (see 2:216) and believes during times of difficulty that relief will come (see 94:05).

Don’t feel gloomy, though, because this article will argue that happiness is not a mood and it is not dependent on external circumstances. It is more a spiritual approach to life and a deliberate, chosen mindset that facilitates, feeds, and enhances the feeling of positive and enjoyable well-being moment to moment. Some may think “Well, who said we are meant to be happy in this life?” The Prophet pbuh said,”The most beloved of people to Allah is he who brings most benefit [to others], and the most beloved of deeds according to Allah SWT is that you bring happiness to a fellow Muslim …” (Al-Tabarani).

We are meant to be happy! But that doesn’t mean that happiness is a constant state. Sadness, disappointment, loss, regret – these are all part of the human condition and provide the tests for each believer’s eman: “Do the people think that they will be left to say, ‘We believe,’ without being put to the test? We have tested those before them, for Allah will most certainly ascertain those who spoke the truth and those who lied” (Qur’an 29:2-3). Yet, there are those with a fundamental disposition of unhappiness, despondency, and gloominess. In contrast is the individual with a baseline of happiness, who responds with faith and resiliency to the tests, challenges, and traumas, and does not rely on fortunate circumstance to claim happy moments.

If we are failing to live in the present moment, we are dwelling instead on the past or projecting ourselves into the future

Studies show, according to the Mayo Clinic, that “Only 10 percent or so of the variation in people’s reports of happiness can be explained by differences in their circumstances. It appears that the bulk of what determines happiness is due to personality and — more importantly — thoughts and behaviors that can be changed.” That’s good news, because many people, like the malcontent, dwell on negative things, especially the adverse experiences that happened in their past. Psychology calls this “ruminating,” which in a straight dictionary sense means “thinking, or pondering, or mulling over.” A cow is one of the cud-chewing animals called a “ruminant,” which regurgitates its food from the stomach to the mouth to be chewed again — a fit description of a person who is “ruminating,” in the vernacular of psychology, i.e., running negative thoughts through the mind again and again, mentally regurgitating them to brood repeatedly on the emotional wounds, injustices, and resentments of the past.

If we are failing to live in the present moment, we are dwelling instead on the past or projecting ourselves into the future. When projecting into the future, often this is a focus on fearing adversity that might happen and the anxiety that brings. Living in the present, however, keeping our awareness and focus on the moment that is now before us, is a steward of happiness. Through this focal point, there are countless opportunities to ferret out or create happiness, and this capacity surmounts the torments of life — the multifarious difficulties, sorrows, and worries. It’s like finding a space between the grief (of the past) and the anxiety (as to the future), a place that obtains, even if for just moments at a time, the feeling of equanimity. The Prophet pbuh recommended, as part of a longer hadith, that we make du’a saying, “O Allah, I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief” (Abu Dawood).

If we are seeking refuge in Allah SWT from the grief of the past and the anxiety associated with the future, then we are living principally in the present moment, in the sweet spot of equanimity, where happiness abides. A good case can be made that happiness consists of contentment, optimism, and joy — and that contentment pertains primarily to the past, optimism to the future, and joy to the present.

Contentment (pertaining to the past)

“…Truly, it is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts find contentment” (Qur’an 13:28). Remembrance of Allah SWT encompasses many things: believing in the Divine plan, putting one’s trust in God, abiding by His commands, and accepting with conviction and grace His decree in one’s own life. This includes graciously accepting one’s existing condition as it has unfolded from the past. Being content is being satisfied with whatever Allah SWT has provided, whether good fortune or bad, easefulness or difficulty, abundance or scarcity. “The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him … and the misery of the son of Adam results from his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him” (Al-Tirmidhi). The perspective of a believer with regard to the decree of Allah SWT and whatever adversity and suffering is within that decree, is the following:

• Human beings are tested while on this earth; it is how we respond to those tests which helps to make the heart pure and sound or, conversely, hardens the heart.
• We seek the guidance of Allah SWT and believe Him when He says that if we follow His guidance, we will overcome grief and anxiety.
• We strengthen our belief that in following Allah’s guidance we will ultimately attain to an inward condition of ease, despite whatever external circumstances are prevailing.
• We believe that the final condition of the true believer is a place of complete happiness, comfort, and satisfaction, and we strive to attain to that state while still in this dunya; this state is “tubaa,” which is often translated as “every blessedness” (see Qur’an 13:28-29). It is an internal state of satisfaction and joy, peace of mind, tranquility of heart, and serenity of conscience.”

If we pledge ourselves to the above principles of contentment with the decree of Allah SWT, then we will feel satisfied and accepting of what we are and what we have and what we are dealing with at this moment of life. This is in contrast to the malcontent who says “Woe is me…” in a hundred different ways: “Why me?” “If only I had done this or that!” “If only I were smarter.” “I knew this [horrible thing] was going to happen to me.” The list of statements is endless because the malcontented person finds so much to complain about, to be displeased with, to be disturbed by. On the other hand, the individual who chooses contentment finds benefits and blessings even in the greatest hardship. illustrating this mindset is the profound statement of Imam Ibn Taymiyyah: “I have in my breast both my heaven and my garden. If I travel they are with me, never leaving me. Imprisonment for me is a chance to be alone with my Lord. To be killed is martyrdom, and to be exiled from my land is a spiritual journey.”

Being contented with the decree of Allah is far different from being passive, given to resignation, and/or lazy. Contentedness is not fatalistic.

Being contented with the decree of Allah is far different from being passive, given to resignation, and/or lazy. Contentedness is not fatalistic. It is accepting and being fully present where and how and why and what we are right now, and finding so much to be grateful for. Then we can aspire, with liberated energies, for greater good in our relationships with Allah SWT, with self, and with others, all precedents to happiness. Thus, aspiring is not contradictory to contentedness, but emerges out of it.

Being content is being poised (balanced) in that place between grief and anxiety. It is also balanced in another way: living daily life with a proper, fair, proportional arrangement of activities and responsibilities so that one important aspect of life is not neglected for another. If a man spends all his time working and by doing so neglects his wife and children, then his life is imbalanced and this leads to unhappiness in his life as well as in the lives of his family members. If a woman spends all her time cooking and cleaning and by doing so neglects her religious duties, then her life is imbalanced and this leads to unhappiness in her life as well as in the lives of her family members.

In that space between grief and anxiety, we institute balance in our daily living and experience a richness of life, moment to moment. “We have made you a nation justly balanced…” (Qur’an 2:143). And the Prophet pbuh said,”Riches does not mean having a great amount of property; riches is self-contentment” (Bukhari). We are content with our present circumstance as it has unfolded from the past, but invigorated to correct mistakes, face our issues, and better ourselves. Choosing to be content is like implanting roots deep into the ground of one’s existence, anchoring the self in the reality of one’s life, and from that starting point seeking out what can nourish and satisfy the soul.

Optimism (pertaining to the future)

Optimism has root meanings of “the greatest good,” “the best” and “choice.” So we can say that an optimistic outlook on life is always keeping one’s eye on that which advances goodness, and this is conjoined to making the best choices in all one’s affairs, choices that will, in fact, bring about the greatest good each and every day. Thus, optimism is not a naive and shallow form of positive thinking. It is a deliberate way of looking at the world and viewing the future that rests upon intentional, prudent, and salutary choices. It is recognizing opportunity for betterment, whether in ease or difficulty. Winston Churchill once said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Consider this verse, “….Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves….” (Qur’an 13:11). Shaikh Syed Qutb says about this verse in the “Shade of the Qur’an” that the change this verse refers to is made in the human heart, intention, attitude, and behavior. He points out that this is a high honor from Allah SWT that He has tied His qadar, Divine Destiny, to the choices that a human being makes, which in essence, is choosing his or her destiny. So the optimistic aspect of being happy is looking toward the greatest good, whether in one’s daily life or in the reward of the Hereafter, and knowing that we are given opportunity at every moment to make the best choice and to accept the decree of Allah no matter the outcome: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good for him, and that does not apply to anyone but the believer. If something pleasing happens to him, he is grateful, and that is good for him; and if something harmful happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him” (Muslim). With an optimistic outlook, the believer also appreciates that adversity might in the long run benefit him (see 2:216) and believes during times of difficulty that relief will come (see 94:05). Islamic teachings give us consummate reason for taking an optimistic view of existing events or conditions and generally expecting a favorable outcome in any given situation, and in the totality of our lives and the reward in the Hereafter.

Another reason for optimism is knowing that Allah’s mercy is wondrous. The Prophet pbuh, said, “When Allah decreed the Creation, He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: ‘My mercy prevails over my wrath’”

Another reason for optimism is knowing that Allah’s mercy is wondrous. The Prophet pbuh, said, “When Allah decreed the Creation, He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: ‘My mercy prevails over my wrath’” (Bukhari, Muslim, and others). Also, Anas said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah say, Allah Almighty says, ‘O son of Adam! I will forgive you as long as you call on Me and have hope in Me, no matter what you do. Son of Adam, I do not care if your wrong actions reach to the clouds of heaven and then you ask Me for forgiveness, I will forgive you. Son of Adam, if you were to come with sins equivalent in weight to the whole earth and then meet Me having not associated anything with Me, I would come to you with the same amount of forgiveness’” (Al-Tirmidhi). Even if our sins were to “reach to the clouds” or be as weighty as “the whole earth,” Allah SWT offers His mercy and forgiveness equal to that! “Say – in the bounty of Allah, and in His mercy – in that let them rejoice …” (Qur’an 10:58).

If contentedness is like the firmly fixed root structure of a tree, optimism can be compared to the branches — limbs reaching toward the heavens as the soul strives for ever higher goodness and excellence.

We can now consider the aspect of happiness that pertains to the present— joy.

Joy (pertaining to the present)

Joy is a state of consciousness, as noted by Todd Kashdan, professor at George Mason University, that finds“…beauty and intrigue around us everywhere – as long as we’re open to what’s around us.” With a heightened sense of the present moment, keen attention to detail, getting lost in the “flow,” joy is a dynamic state of wakefulness and excitement and appreciation for whatever one is experiencing, witnessing, endeavoring, or accomplishing. It might be a moment of loving communication with one’s child; watching the sun set over a placid lake; awakening at dawn, putting on jogging shoes and moving into the world of nature and physical fitness; a “voila” moment for a tech person when an elusive computer algorithm finally takes shape in his mind. It might simply be a moment when one is filled with illuminating quietude as flickering intervals of sunlight hide and appear, again and again, among pale green tints of the giant oak newly in leaf, as the freshness of morning announces its springtime delight.

The capacity for joy, without doubt, can be cultivated. It’s a shame that so much focus is on treating depression with pharmaceuticals rather than on encouraging and teaching people how to be joyful. According to an article by Trish Hall, Op-Ed editor for the New York Times, “…psychology journals have published 45,000 articles in the last 30 years on depression, but only 400 on joy.”

Joy involves one’s approach to, perception of, and experience in the present. Many think that they will be happy and enjoy life at some hypothetical time in the future, when they get that promotion, go on vacation, pay off all their debt, graduate, get married, lose weight, buy new clothes, and on an on. Yet, Muslims are advised to find joy in the bounty of Allah, which is in the here and now. Consider the verse quoted above about rejoicing in Allah’s mercy: “Say – in the bounty of Allah and in His mercy – in that let them rejoice – that is better than what they hoard” (Qur’an 10:58). To rejoice is “to be joyful (to experience gladness in a high degree; to have pleasurable satisfaction; to be delighted.”) The verse tells us that finding joy in the bounty of Allah and in His mercy is far better than pursuing joy in the things that humans typically seek to acquire — the material things of this world, or to achieve — prestige or power.

What are the bounties of Allah? All the extraordinary and wondrous objects, properties, processes, phenomena, organisms, creatures, functions, qualities, and so on, that we find in life, nature, the world, and the human condition. Many bounties are pointed to in the Qur’an—the expanse of the earth with its pastures, mountains, and deserts; grains and fruits; health and healing; rain and flowing water; seeds that germinate and grow; language, communication, and guidance; day for gaining livelihood and night for resting; the sun and shadows; kinship and friendship; reason, intuition, and knowledge; striving, meaning, and purpose; free will, consciousness, and creativity; yearning and fulfillment; kindness, gentleness, and compassion. Truly, a multitude of things… but “if you try to count the bounties of Allah, never will you be able to number them” (Qur’an 14:34). How often do we stop and contemplate the beauty, the order and proportion, the small things and fleeting moments that have potential for joy but are so often overlooked? Imagine if more people put “be joyful” on their list of things to accomplish?

Further, an abundant other realm of joy opens when an individual has chosen to become a devotee to a refinement, in its various aspects, of the self, including:

• Purification — “By the soul and the proportion and order given to it, and its enlightenment as to its wrong and its right, truly he succeeds who purifies it and he fails who corrupts it” (Qur’an 91:7-10).
• Transformation —“Verily, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (Quran 13:11) and “You shall surely travel from stage to stage” (Qur’an 84:19).
• Enrichment of the self —“True richness is the richness of the self” (Bukhari and Muslim).
• Liberation —“Each day a man is a vendor of his soul, either freeing it or bringing it to ruin (Muslim).

Devotion to the purification, transformation, enrichment, and liberation of the self is catalyst to all the excellent character traits of ihsan, including the intentional cultivation of balance in all things, and following a middle course between extremes. Muslims are called “ummat-al-wasat,” community of the middle way. “We made you to be a community of the middle way, so that [with the example of your lives] you might bear witness to the truth before all humankind” (Qur’an, 2:143). The middle way, for example, is being generous rather than stingy or extravagant, the two opposing extremes. Or being humble rather than self-abasing or self-glorifying. Or being nurturing to one’s children rather than withholding and harsh or overly indulgent and permissive. Even with regard to the practice of religion, the Prophet cautioned against excessiveness. He once said to Abdullah ibn ‘Amr: “Have I heard right that you fast every day and stand in prayer all night?” Abdullah replied, “Yes, 0 Messenger of God.” The Prophet said, “Do not do that. Fast as well as eat and drink. Stand in prayer as well as sleep. This is because your body has a right upon you, your eyes have a right upon you, your wife has a right upon you, and your guest has a right upon you” (Bukhari, Muslim).

Allah SWT has intended for us a full, rich, life. “O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer. Eat and drink but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not wasters. Say: ‘who has forbidden the beautiful gifts of Allah which He has produced for His servants and the things clean and pure which He has provided for sustenance…” (Qur’an 7:31-32). And further, our lives are to be filled with joy. “For those who believe and work righteousness, is happiness and joy, and bliss at [their] journey’s end” (Qur’an 13:29). One of the salaf (righteous predecessors) is reported to have said, “There are moments that I say to myself, ‘truly if the people of Paradise feel what I feel here on earth, they indeed live a good and joyous life.’”

Yes, each day is a new journey, a new opportunity to find joy in the bounties of Allah SWT: in His creation, in the camaraderie of social relations, in the diversion of recreation and relaxation, and in the devotion and striving for purification, transformation, enrichment, and liberation of the self. Joy is like the fruit of one’s primal, animate being made intentional, mindful, awe-inspired, and passionate for truth, beauty, and righteousness.

The Wellspring of Happiness

Anchoring the self with the deep roots of contentment, striving each day with life and limb and inveterate optimism, and discovering the fruits of joy in the promise of Allah SWT, in the creation, and in one’s own self: that is engaging ourselves to the wellsprings of happiness. It is like cultivating “in my breast both my heaven and my garden,” taking into the personal sanctum of the heart — absorbing into the rich loam of the soul — the germinating words of Divine guidance and wisdom, and watching a goodly tree grow.

“Have you not seen how God sets forth a similitude? A good word is as a good tree — its roots are firmly fixed, with its branches reaching upward to heaven” (Qur’an 14:24).

In The Alchemy of Happiness, Imam Al-Ghazali writes: ”His five senses are like five doors opening on the external world; but, more wonderful than this, his heart has a window which opens on the unseen world of spirits. In the state of sleep, when the avenues of the senses are closed, this window is opened and man receives impressions from the unseen world and sometimes foreshadowings of the future. His heart is then like a mirror which reflects what is pictured in the Tablet of Fate. But, even in sleep, thoughts of worldly things dull this mirror, so, that the impressions it receives are not clear. After death, however, such thoughts vanish and things are seen in their naked reality, and the saying in the Qur’an is fulfilled: ‘We have lifted from you your veil, and keen is your sight today.’ ”

In that infinitude lays the richness we yearn for, the plenitude that is never narrowed or diminished or depreciated as it is the open-ended realm of God-consciousness

The worldly things that dull the mirror of the heart are most often associated with pride and self-aggrandizement —looking for worldly reward; that is, seeking praise from others or desiring wealth and material acquisition. When we desire to aggrandize the self, we feed the ego. Yet, the ego can never be satisfied. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “If the son of Adam possessed a valley full of gold, he would want to have two valleys; yet his mouth will only be filled by earth. Allah turns towards those who turn in repentance” (agreed upon). A valley full of gold won’t do it, yet we often try to find an abiding fulfillment with some fleeting thing such as food or drink or entertainment or drugs or socializing or fame.But we cannot get our fill; we cannot find enduring satisfaction in things that will perish. As Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish— falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer foolishness.”

We can find satisfaction only by struggling to overcome the ego so that we pursue things of genuine value and lasting significance. Imam Abul Qasim Al-Qushayri, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “The spiritual warrior is he who breaks an idol; and the idol of each person is his [own] ego.” With efforts to overcome the ego, we are striving to attain a pure, unadulterated quality of heart — sincerity.

Seeing Things for What They Truly Are

The Qur’an says, “Truly We distinguished them with a distinct quality—remembrance of the Abode” (Qur’an 38:46).In this verse, the word “distinguished” and the phrase “distinct quality” both come from the same root as ikhlas which means “sincerity.” The root is “kha-la-sa”which holds the meaning “to be pure and unadulterated.” The more we rid the heart of egotistic tendencies and impulses, the more we attain to a pure, unadulterated quality of heart – a sincere heart. And the verse tells us that with sincerity we maintain remembrance of the Abode. This is the abode of reality – where all things are seen for what they truly are. While the veils that shroud the heart are only fully removed on the Day of Sorting Out, we can make great efforts to “see things for what they truly are,” as Imam Al-Ghazali says in the above-cited passage, “in their naked reality,” as the sight becomes increasingly keen.

The sincere soul finds its gratification in recognition and honoring by the One who guides to things of true plenitude

Removing the veils of ego — anger, envy, pride, greed and other lower states — we more and more grasp the principle of cause and effect; we understand in a deeper way what matters, what has genuine value and what has priority; we make more productive and responsible decisions; we respond rather than react; we gravitate to people and experiences which nourish and positively challenge us; we avoid or remove ourselves from those persons or situations which potentially can harm or debase us; we refrain from doing foolish, counterproductive, or self-destructive things. With this spiritual insight, we feel greater joy in seeing things for what they are rather than skewing them to suit the ego. We come to love the challenge of turning the self inside out, so to speak, to ferret out any defect. And we never lose sight of being kind and patient with ourselves no matter how strictly we strive for discipline and rigor in our efforts to transform the self and purify the heart of everything egotistic and false.

No False Pretense, No Manipulation

The dictionary defines the English word “sincerity” as being free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness. Without sincerity, we try to fool ourselves and others about who we are, wanting to appear more than we are: more accomplished, more wealthy, more pious, more knowledgeable, never-ending ego aggrandizement, just like wanting more valleys of gold. We fear being seen for what we really are (imperfect). Or we love to be perceived as something we are not (perfect). Instances of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness can be very subtle, especially to our own selves! There is a long hadeeth Qudsi (a hadeeth which is divinely inspired but in the Prophet’s own words) which gives three examples of individuals who think they have lived their lives righteously, but whose “piety” is superficial and driven by the ego. They have deluded themselves and in each case they are consigned to the Fire. The third example in the hadeeth is

“…a man who Allah had made abundantly rich and granted him every kind of wealth. He will be brought and Allah will make known to him His favors and he (the man) will acknowledge them. Allah will say, ‘And what did you do about them.’ The man will say, ‘I spent money in every cause in which You wished that it should be spent.’ Allah will say, ‘You are lying. You did so to be described as a generous fellow.’ Orders will be given against him and he will be dragged face downward and thrown into Hell”(Muslim).

We can find satisfaction only by struggling to overcome the ego so that we pursue things of genuine value and lasting significance

The irony is that every person wants to appear sincere. But how many dedicate their lives to purifying the heart and presenting themselves exactly as they are, with no false pretense and no motive to manipulate or fool? Genuine sincerity is possible when we comprehend that being sincere in one’s deen, living for the sake of Allah SWT, encompasses living for the sake of goodness, honesty, fairness, trustworthiness, compassion, and every other virtue. The virtues become more delectable than food or drink or valleys of gold.

Sincerity comes from a heart so inclined to virtue and pure innocence, and thus can touch the hearts of others. Sincerity is believable; it is credible; a friend or spouse can feel it’s truthfulness and it’s power. Without sincerity, there is only pretense and foolery. Ultimately, insincerity is a betrayal of human potential and destiny — bringing us and others disappointment, trouble, and grief. Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Deeds without sincerity are like a traveler who carries in his water-jug dirt. The carrying of it burdens him and it brings no benefit.”

If we want to fill our hearts with sincerity, we must empty them of dishonesty, untrustworthiness, carelessness, deceit — all manner of impurity. This is done step-by-step as a lifelong dedication, examining and reflecting on our beliefs, attitudes, motives, words, and actions. As we correct our errors, hone our habits, and achieve our goals, faith is fortified and the elegance of sincerity is more and more manifest. The water-jug has been cleansed of all dirt and what remains is crystal clear, revitalizing water by which our own and others’ thirst for human maturity and magnanimity — a fully developed generosity and nobility of character — has been satisfied.

Fed by Humbleness, Energized by Taqwa

Humbleness feeds sincerity like water and nutrients from the earth being drawn up by roots of plants to feed their growth. A note of caution is to not confuse humbleness with a belittling or abasing of the self. A young man sought counseling for a social anxiety issue which made him feel self-conscious even walking down the street, overwhelmed at any social event with the feeling that others were critically watching him and could see his awkwardness. He shared with the counselor how he never felt authentic and when he tried to just be himself, it felt so unnatural. This young man lacked self-esteem, confidence, and feelings of worthiness. This is not what is meant by humbleness. Muslims are to be a “community of the middle way,” as Allah SWT says, “Thus We have made you ummat-al-wasat (a community of the middle way) that you may be a witness over all nations…” (Qur’an 2:143). The middle way for the positioning of self is humbleness, a moderate place between the two extremes of self-abasement and self-glorifying.

The etymology of the word “humble” is “on the ground,” from humus” earth.” That is exactly what human beings are, “of the earth” — “Now, indeed, We did create man out of the essence of clay” (Qur’an 23:12). In fact, the human body is made up of the elements of the earth’s crust, with 99 percent of its mass being composed of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. Until rather recently in history, people walked barefoot and slept on the ground. We are bioelectric beings whose health is positively affected by direct interaction with earth and nature. A natural therapy that is gaining in popularity is called “grounding” or “earthing” which involves reconnecting to the earth to restore and maintain the body’s proper electrical balance. This therapy is simply the practice at times of walking barefoot or sitting or lying on the ground, touching the earth from which we were created. We live in insulated buildings, wear shoes with thick rubber or plastic soles, and seldom touch the soil of the earth we live on. “Grounding” postulates that maintaining a connection to the earth has a healing power and can help to diminish inflammation, pain, fatigue, stress and other modern day stress-related ailments. We mention this as it establishes another connection to the root meaning of the word “humble” and adds an additional layer of noteworthiness to the idea that we must remain “grounded”, “down-to-earth,” humble in our attitudes and posturing in daily life.

And when we stay grounded, maintaining awareness of not only our origin, but also our status — servants of Allah SWT entrusted with vicegerency of the earth — we can then reach for the highest good and fulfill our destiny. Love and fear of God and virtuousness, as generators of God-consciousness (all aspects of taqwa), supply an enlightening and ardent energy to sincerity. If we metaphorically describe sincerity as a tree, then humbleness provides the nutrients to be drawn up by roots in the earth to feed the tree; and we can describe taqwa as the life-giving warmth and energy of the sun drawing the tree heavenward. Taqwa connects the soul to the divine presence, pulling the soul’s inclinations toward higher-minded awareness and uprightness of character, toward realization of its destiny — attaining residence in the eternal abode, in nearness to God.

Sincerity draws nutrients from below, from the earth, from humbleness; and draws warmth and energy from above by taqwa, God-consciousness, and remembrance of our highest potential destiny.

Sincerity “Without Wax”

An integral part of realizing that noble destiny is coming to terms with our weaknesses. If we are seeking to be sincere, we will not try to hide (especially from ourselves) our flaws and imperfections. Imam Shafa’i, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Whoever bears testimony to his weaknesses, will be granted uprightness.” In fact, the more a person recognizes his or her own shortcomings, the more he will acknowledge his limitations as a human being, and this humbles and softens the heart. This is the way of sincerity. Our imperfections are opportunities to more carefully sculpt our habits, design our attitudes, and choose our thoughts and actions. Rather than pretending our imperfections don’t exist, we work on them and improve ourselves.

One popular explanation about the origin of the English word “sincere” is that it is derived from the Latin,sine = without, cera = wax. “Without wax” refers to the practice of dishonest sculptors in Rome who would try to cover up any mistakes they made while chipping away at white Carrera marble. If one chipped against the grain of the stone, he could create a crack. Even a hairline crack would be considered disastrous. So the dishonest sculptor would skillfully apply a soft, white wax to fill the crack and make the sculpture appear flawless, without defect. The people came to know about this dishonest practice and those who commissioned a marble sculpture would meticulously examine the piece before paying for it, accepting only work of the highest excellence — “sine cere,” that is, without wax.

Likewise with our flaws — the cracks in our character — we can fill them with wax and present ourselves with dishonesty, pretentiousness, and insincerity. Or we can allow the cracks to be what they are – testimony to our being human and imperfect; and opportunity to work on ourselves, to recognize our shortcomings, “to bear testimony to our weaknesses,” to be humble yet striving for excellence.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said: “Satan rejoiced when Adam was ousted from Paradise, but he did not know that when a diver sinks into the sea, he collects pearls and then rises again. ”Ibn Al-Qayyim further explains this idea of falling into the depths of our imperfections as a means of attaining good: “One of the salaf (pious predecessors) said: ‘Indeed a servant commits a sin by which he enters Paradise; and another does a good deed by which he enters the Fire. ’It was asked: How is that? He replied: ‘The one who committed the sin, constantly thinks about it; which causes him to fear it, regret it, weep over it and feel ashamed in front of his Lord—the Most High—due to it. He stands before God, broken-hearted and with his head lowered in humility. So this sin is more beneficial to him than doing many acts of obedience, since it caused him to have humbleness—which leads to the servant’s happiness and success—to the extent that this sin becomes the cause for him entering Paradise. As for the doer of good, he does not consider this good a favor from his Lord upon him. Rather, he becomes arrogant and amazed with himself, saying: I have achieved such-and-such, and such-and-such. So this further increases him in self-adulation, pride and arrogance—such that this becomes the cause for his destruction.’

Ceasing Desire for the Praise from Others

So what does it mean to turn away from self-adulation, pride, and arrogance; to cease desiring the praisings of human beings? Don’t we all wish for recognition when we have done a good job or accomplished something? …or written an inspiring poem or designed a technology that makes life easier? …or campaigned to pass legislation that improves society? …or helped to found a non-profit organization that feeds the needy? Remember the young man mentioned above who lacked any sense of self-worthiness? Allah SWT does not ordain for us that lacking. He does not ask us to annihilate the self and its needs, but to elevate the covetous self to an aspiring self. God then ordains for us an abundance, a richness of self/soul: the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “Richness does not lie in the abundance of goods; richness is the richness of the soul” (Sahih Muslim). The sincere soul finds its gratification in recognition and honoring by the One who guides to things of true plenitude. But how do we get from here to there? How do we cease desiring the praisings of human beings?

When we stand in the balanced, moderate place of humbleness – grounded and knowing we are “of the earth” – and striving to attain and increase our taqwa, we are positioned to submerge the soul in the greatness of Allah SWT. By renouncing the ego and nourishing instead the heart, we can do a good job or accomplish something worthwhile or inspire others or innovate something that increases the general well-being or support charitable activities; and all the while the focus is on the goodness achieved and the pleasing of Allah SWT rather than on aggrandizing of the self. This is the open secret: the praise received, whether intended by the praiser or not, can be transmuted by the sincere heart into a declaration of “alhamdulillah,” all praise is due to Allah. It passes through the sincere heart like through a permeable membrane, to enter a boundless dimension.In that infinitude lays the richness we yearn for, the plenitude that is never narrowed or diminished or depreciated as it is the open-ended realm of God-consciousness rather than the confinement of self-centeredness.

With God-consciousness, we comprehend endless bounties — the expanse of earth with its lush pastures, majestic mountains, and vast deserts; the profound caring of kinship and marriage and friendship; the penetrating capacities of reason, intuition, and knowing; the marvels of language and communication; the passionate depths discovered in striving for meaning and purpose; the rightfulness provided by discernment and ethical choice; the miracle of consciousness, free will, creativity, and joy; the elegance of yearning and the grace of achievement — everything we need to survive, to know and understand, to attain fulfillment.

The egotist is blind to such bounties. He finds motivation and satisfaction in his self-centeredness, in being seen and lauded as hardworking or energetic or accomplished because flattery feeds his ego and puffs up his pride. Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The one who shows off has three characteristics: he is lazy when by himself, he is lively and energetic when with others; and he increases in his actions when he is praised and decreases in them when he is criticized.”The vitality of the sincere heart, contrariwise, is nourished from a fountainhead of bestowing, the Source of All-Goodness that guides away from puffery and all things insubstantial. The heart is like a treasure house and the show-off fills it with flattery and exaggerated opinion of self. The sincere one fills the treasure house of the heart with the pearls he collected upon diving into the depths. He took up diving because he knew that deep within each of his actions was an intention, and within that intention he would find either glory to self or glory to God. When he chose glory to God, he collected a pearl of spiritual wisdom, he humbled the self, nourished his sincerity, enriched his soul, and cultivated his God-consciousness. Then, in the midst of the collected pearls, the humble one realizes that within the heart is the greatest treasure of all— knowing Allah SWT. In the hadith Qudsi known as the “Hidden Treasure,” Prophet David (pbuh) asked Allah about the purpose of the creation. Allah reveals this purpose, saying, “I was a hidden treasure and I loved to be known; I created the creation in order to be known.”

Sincerity: To Really Mean It!

To be sincere means being earnest, genuine, and real; “to really mean it” when we say or do or intend something. In the hadeeth Qudsi cited above about those whose “piety” is superficial and driven by ego, the three individuals mentioned in the full hadeeth are a “brave warrior,” a “scholar,” and a “generous fellow. ”Each one had defect in his intention. Their life activities might have looked like authentic bravery or scholarship or generosity. For sure, each attempted to appear (even to himself) sincere in his actions. But at the base was self-glory rather than glory for truth, justice, benevolence, and all things good which originate from and return to Allah SWT. When we reconcile two people who have a conflict, is it because we seek always to promote understanding, tolerance, and good will or because we find satisfaction in being called a peacemaker? When I make an intention to stop bickering with my spouse — do I really mean it? When I think that I have to try being more patient with my kids — do I really mean it? When I say that I want to improve my job performance — do I really mean it? Or are these words and sentiments that make me feel good for a moment and then I choose to indulge in argumentativeness or impatience or carelessness because they are habitually familiar and easier, more seemingly comfortable to me, than tolerance and patience and conscientiousness? How do I know if I really “mean it”? If I follow through, practice again and again behaving in the better manner, resolve to try another time when I fall or fail or give in to frustration. If I dedicate myself to the transformation of self as a lifelong endeavor — then I really “mean it,” with the help and the grace of Allah SWT.

Aligning One’s Life with What Endures

Acting, striving, setting goals, and accomplishing for the sake of Allah SWT is a choice to align one’s life with that which endures and brings ultimate contentment and gratification. The sincere heart yields itself to this higher good, no longer desiring a gratification of the lower self. One of the salaf said: “Whoever had a single instance in his lifetime which was purely and sincerely for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, will be saved, and this is due to the greatness of sincerity. ”The sincere heart yearns for the boundless joy of eternal greatness and ultimate contentment. That only results from striving for excellence, purifying the heart of everything false, base, and selfish so that the eye keeps sight of the final abode, the place of eternity. The sincere heart finds strength and inspiration and healing in this way. The beauty that we behold, then, is a beauty that endures beyond the aging and decay of created things. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Allah loves from His servant that he beautifies his tongue with the truth and his heart with sincerity and love, turning with repentance and reliance upon Allah.”

We can begin to clean the mirror of the heart to “reflect what is pictured in the Tablet of Fate.” For is it not the Tablet of Fate that tells the true story of our lives? What we did, what we intended, what lay deep within our hearts. How fervent was our devotion, how abiding our faith? How true was our trust in Allah SWT and His promise? If we knew the content of our soul’s narrative in its naked truth and could compare that to the soul’s elevated and distinguished potential, would we not do everything in our power to beautify our hearts with sincerity?

Some steps we can take are as follows:

We can keep in mind the fleeting nature of this world and work on freeing ourselves from attachment to its base allurements

We can stop trying to cover up our imperfections so as to appear better than we are; instead, we can work on those shortcomings and aim for excellence

We can stay grounded, maintaining awareness of our origin and status — humble servants of Allah SWT entrusted with vicegerency of the earth — we can then reach for the highest good and fulfill our destiny which is a noble destiny

When someone praises us, we can feel great about any goodness that was achieved, focusing on the aggrandizing of good rather than of the self, and then say alhamdulillah

Step-by-step, with lifelong dedication, we can strive to purify the heart of anger, envy, pride, greed and other impurities

We can realize that the true reward cannot come from human beings or from this world, but from the One who gives the truest reward

We can recognize our imperfections, our shortcomings and weaknesses, our propensity to sin, feeling sorrow for any wrongdoing and also hoping for redemption; this moves us to turn to Allah and ask for forgiveness and then follow that up with correcting of intention, attitude, thought, feeling, speech, action, or habit — whatever needs correcting.

We have a choice: take ultimate pleasure in a life that will vanish like a fading shadow; or we can strive to be of “…those who repent and correct (their lives), and hold fast unto God, and grow sincere in their faith in God alone: for these shall be one with the believers — and in time God will grant to all believers a mighty reward” (Qur’an 4:146).

We can dedicate our lives to making our hearts sincere so that we rejoice when Allah SWT says, “We have lifted from you your veil, and keen is your sight today” (Qur’an 50:22).