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Tag: muslim youth

  • The Power and Privilege of the Youth

    The Power and Privilege of the Youth

    The current condition and future status of a community is seen, on one level, in the state and actions of its youth, particularly its students. Although definitely not unprecedented, we are at a crossroads within the current climate: socially, politically, and academically. I have been in the field of education for decades and am witnessing an inversion of truth, an enforced narrative that belies what our eyes see plainly in front of us.

    Yet, a basic tenet of a sound education is the importance of critical thinking, just as freedom of speech is the lifeblood of democracy. Add to those essential principles, the American constitutional declaration that all individuals are created equal. What an irony of epic proportions that the current Establishment narrative denies, or at the very least obscures, the clear oppression and injustice in Palestine. Where are critical thinking, freedom of speech, and the equal rights to dignity and freedom of all human beings when the mainstream authorities try in every way to mute the voices and block the actions of those who see what is going on and conscience dictates speaking and acting on behalf of those who are being victimized in the most brutal ways? The message is simply this: “You actually do not have the freedom to speak and act according to your conscience, even if in fully lawful ways, and despite proclamations that you do.” It seems that too many Americans subscribe to the dystopian principle in George Orwell’s Animal Farm: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

    We have been here before. The Jim Crow laws and enforced racial segregation, the misguided and destructive Vietnam War, pressing issues about the environment, economic and social inequality — all of these took students to the streets in the past, inspired writers to express outrage by pen, and woke up the general population.

    Columbia University in New York City, at the center of the current wave of protests, has seen similar uprisings before, including during the Vietnam War in 1968. Demonstrations led the university to end classified war research and stop military recruitment, among other changes, according to an article by Rosalind Rosenberg, a professor of history at Barnard College. On the other coast, in the 1950s, at the University of California, Berkeley, student groups taking part in any on- or off-campus political activities were banned from campus. Nearly 800 students were arrested by local police as a result. The overreaction to protestors ultimately worked in the students’ favor as the administration eventually overturned policies that would restrict the content of speech or advocacy. The shootings at Kent State in 1970, when police fired upon a protest killing two students, Phillip Lafayette Gibbs and James Earl Green, catalyzed the first general student strike in the history of the United States, when students from over 400 colleges and universities called off classes to protest the shooting.

    Courage, Maturity, and Strength of Character

    Campuses have come to the forefront of the news once again amidst the current unrest in the Middle East, as over 150 colleges and universities saw encampments on their grounds during the last academic year and now with new semester, with many faculty joining in as well. The courage, maturity, and strength in character exemplified by the students and many staff risking their livelihoods, are commendable. Encampments were set up on university campuses in calls for a ceasefire in Gaza and divestments from companies that are advancing the brutal military objectives of the occupying force. Thousands of protesting students were arrested in an unprecedented move. Meetings were set up with deans, presidents, and directors of these institutions to voice student concerns, and many were fruitful. The president of Columbia University, Dr. Minouche Nemat Shafik, was called to a Congressional Hearing in April 2024 to answer for her reaction to the climate of unrest on campus, and then eventually resigned in August 2024 amidst the uproar.

    For sure we are living at a critical time in history. In Bangladesh, for example, a tyrant ruled for decades. But she was ousted by the galvanization of students. The protests began after she instituted unfair policies regarding quotas in government jobs, and these demonstrations escalated as orders were issued to use force to disperse the gatherings. Anger mounted and could not be quelled, and former Bangladeshi Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina, the longest serving Muslim female head of state, was forced to resign and flee the country.

    The Student Body of the World Is a Powerful Force

    What makes the youth, the student body of the world, such a powerful force that can help end a war or an unjust racial policy? Why can the students, creating an uproar with their voices and actions calling for justice, bring about such dramatic and important change? The answer lies in their youthful energy and idealism. Their critical thinking skills have not yet been dampened by years of political propaganda and their own personal investment in the system. Their minds have not yet been corrupted by ulterior motives or tainted by greed, nor blurred by what the propaganda narrates and demands we conform to. They are still free. This is their power and their privilege.

    The students’ minds are restless and hunger for answers. They see injustice and call it out, simmer with anger and burn with an undaunted desire for action. Their confidence is unparalleled. It triggers the call — and in the face of ridicule, accusations, ostracism, legal actions, and oppressive policing, they cement their places and release their dynamic response in history as it unfolds. They have a responsibility; and they still have an ability to respond with honesty and determination.

    The kinetic disturbance of protesting energy grows into waves. This motivates others to join and soon, a group becomes a movement, galvanizing others by their voices and drowning out the backlash, overcoming those who would misrepresent and whitewash the wrongdoings that prompted the protests.

    Tiny seeds of honest discernment and uncompromising conscience can be nurtured to ultimately change the direction of the world. A seed is planted, and someone appears with a drum to signal the rhythm and beat of nature’s unrelenting will to take root and grow. This beat is a planting of ideas but also a viable march in time, and it yields a chant for freedom, calling to all human beings with a vision of justice and peace, daring to stand in defiance of those who monger fear and exploitation and war.

  • Urdu and Arabic: My People and My Faith

    Urdu and Arabic: My People and My Faith

    Like many young Muslims in this country, I’m second-generation American. My parents immigrated to this country in the ‘90s, and me and my siblings grew up as third culture kids — intermixing Urdu phrases in our English, jeans with a “kameez” (a long cultural shirt) was the height of fashion, and we learned to eat with our hands before ever touching a spoon.

    There’s often a lot of dialogue on the difficulties that children of immigrants face, that feeling of never quite fitting anywhere. But I wonder how many of us have thought about how much it must ache to truly belong to a place – to live in a place where everyone speaks how you speak, where everyone eats what you eat, where everyone dresses how you dress – and then to have to give it all up and move to a land where you become a “minority” that is mocked and ridiculed for the very things that are the cornerstones of your identity?

    I wonder sometimes, if I would have been able to make the kind of sacrifice that my parents made. Would I have been able to leave my country, my people, and everything that defined me, to immigrate to a different continent, just so I could give my own children their very best opportunity for success? I’d like to think I would, but I genuinely don’t know. That requires a level of strength and tawakkul that I’m not sure I possess.

    And then, imagine watching those very children, the ones you gave it all up for, go through that phase where they become ashamed of your culture. The food our moms’ make, imbued with so much love and care, suddenly becomes “boring”, or even “gross.” We’d love to be called multilingual, but in something exotic like Italian or French, not the Urdu and Arabic that is our birthright.

    There is this defining moment that almost every child of an immigrant goes through — you’re asked a question, in what should be your native language, that you understand completely and you know the answer to, but you have no clue how to articulate it. Your tongue stutters, and your throat seizes, and your thoughts race in English but never translate over, and you feel absolutely humiliated.

    This loss of language might be the most heart-breaking part of it all. Language is the soul of community. To know a people, we must know their language. How many stories lay untold on the tongues of our grandparents because we can barely stutter our way through a sentence in Arabic? How many of our uncles, our aunts, our cousins, those who should be some of our closest family, have we barely scratched the surface in getting to know them, because their English might be broken but our Urdu is still yet worse? How many gems sit in the bookshelves of our parents’ personal libraries, in the hearts of our scholars back home, that we have allowed to become inaccessible to ourselves?

    Urdu is a beautiful language. There’s a gentleness and an eloquence to it, and it quite literally sits softer on the tongue and the throat. There’s a common stereotype of Desis (those of South Asian descent) not having the best pronunciation of the Qur’an, and that’s actually because a lot of Arabic letters rely heavily on the back of the throat while Urdu is spoken almost completely from the mouth. But despite these pronunciation differences, Urdu is very similar to Arabic in vocabulary.

    Neither of my parents have formally studied Arabic. They couldn’t tell you all the grammatical rules, the different morphological patterns, or the reasons for a word’s vowels. But their Urdu is fluent. Me, on the other hand, I’ve been taking an intensive Arabic course for the past 9 months. I can break down a verse into all its components and tell you the root letters of almost any word. But my Urdu is broken.

    And the longer I study Arabic, the more I realize that the level of comprehension of the Qur’an that my parents have, which is miles ahead of mine, is almost purely founded on their grasp of Urdu vocabulary. In allowing my own Urdu to weaken, I lost with it a critical understanding of Qur’anic vocabulary. And while I can still learn Qur’anic vocabulary now, and am taking steps to do so alhamdulillah, I often think of how much easier I know this all would’ve been if I had just retained my Urdu.

    My parents really tried their best to encourage us to embrace Urdu as much possible – it used to be tradition in our household to only speak Urdu at the dinner table. But as we grew from naïve children into insecure teenagers, we were desperate to find our footing in American culture and we made such a fuss about speaking English, my parents eventually gave in. And now, as an adult with too many responsibilities and barely enough time, I look back and truly regret the moments that could have been spent solidifying my native tongue, but instead was wasted on trying to prove to myself that I was American enough.

    If it was just about Urdu as a language, I would still have these regrets of course, but perhaps they wouldn’t be as strong. But it’s also about how Urdu ties into Arabic and Arabic is the language of the Qur’an and the Qur’an is the Word of Allah. It is quite literally God’s Message to me and you. So, it is regret for the loss of the language itself, yes, but more importantly it’s the regret of knowing how much stronger my connection with the Qur’an could have been.

    But we can’t waste our lives on regret. Regret is meant to be a teacher – it should drive us to do better, it should force us to reflect on our errors, but it should never paralyze us.

    Our relationship with Allah in particular is the one part of our lives that we cannot allow to become stagnant. Allah loves us, and it is out of this mercy and care that He has revealed His Message in His chosen Arabic. And we live in the age of technology, it has never been easier to learn a language – there are so many classes, such passionate teachers, endless YouTube videos. There is genuinely no excuse for willful ignorance. And why would we want to stay ignorant? Our Creator, The Merciful, The All-Loving, The Most-Kind, has sent us a Message and given us the means to understand that Message. Don’t we want to know what our Creator has to say to us?

    So, this is a call to myself, first and foremost, to work on my relationship with the Qur’an. This is an oath to myself that I will learn the language of the Qur’an insha’Allah, even if it’s just one word at a time. And maybe, just maybe, in this endeavor to please Allah and find my faith, I will find it in me to strengthen my Urdu and connect with the heritage of my people.

  • Supporting Mental Health in Youth

    Supporting Mental Health in Youth

    Adolescence is a time of great change. Coming of age involves phases of physical, emotional, mental, and behavioral transitions and adjustments. As the individual grows into adulthood, there are various struggles and challenges, and attention to one’s mental health during this time is just as important as attention to physical health. In the past few years, particularly with the pandemic and lockdowns, there has been a tremendous increase in mental health issues in youth of all ages. According to the World Health Organization “globally, one in seven 10 to 19-year-olds experiences a mental health disorder, accounting for 13 percent of the global burden of disease in this age group.” Anxiety disorders and depression are the most prevalent in that age group, with an estimated 3.6 percent of 10 to 14-year-olds and 4.6 percent of 15 to 19-year-olds dealing with some form of anxiety. And 1.1 percent of 10 to 14-year-olds and 2.8 percent of 15 to 19-year-olds suffer from depression. One can assume that there are those who go undiagnosed and untreated.

    Risk Factors

    Many risk factors contribute to mental health issues including an unsupportive environment or even negligence or abuse. Trauma, substance abuse in the family, social stresses, fear, or anxiety — all of these can significantly affect a young person who does not know how to adequately cope.

    Adding to the usual factors that affect the mental health of youth is the pandemic. Numerous studies report on the negative psychological effects of the pandemic and the burden placed on children and youth who dealt with school closures resulting in remote learning, as well as being cut off from in-person friendships and social interactions. This disruption left many children lagging behind in cognitive and emotional development. In addition, the very limited social interactions with others left youth feeling lonely and parents, teachers, and experts have worried about the loss of this crucial aspect of development for children and teenagers alike.

    Combatting Stigma

    Adding to the dilemma is that stigma surrounding mental health challenges continues to plague many communities and/or families, and in some cultures this stigma is very strong and acts as impediment to seeking help or getting treatment. In some racial and ethnic communities, reaching out for help may be seen as a sign of weakness, lack of faith, or mental disease.

    Parents and communities can support children and teens who are struggling with mental health. The first step is to watch for warning signs and take note of emotional and behavioral changes. A child might openly express feeling stressed or depressed or he or she might signal that through acting out or withdrawing emotionally. Parents should make sure to openly communicate with their child about their emotions and feelings. If your child continues to have issues, it is important to seek help and support from a professional counselor.

    The Importance of Mental Health in Islam

    Islamically, mental health is just as important as your physical health and well-being. And is it critical to take care of one’s mental health in order to live a well-balanced lifestyle. In the past, Muslim scholars and physicians such as Al-Razi and Abu Zayd Al-Balkhi understood and acknowledged how important mental well-being is and highlighted the importance of balancing all aspects of the self, including the mental and physical aspects.

    In the Qur’an and ahadith there are many references to the importance of self-care and well-being. One verse describes the importance of knowing that Allah SWT is always with us and will not put any person through hardship beyond their capacity to bear (2:286). Dhikr, d’ua, and salat are prime ways to get closer to Allah SWT; and remembering Him helps to bring peace to minds and hearts.

    Help the Youth Develop Healthy Coping Skills

    Tailored to the age and maturity of your child/youth, the following can help your child maintain good mental health:

    • Model good behaviors and traits including patience, perseverance, resilience, and tolerance. These traits are especially important to demonstrate when the parent herself or himself feels stressed. Children learn from and imitate their parents so being a good role model is essential.
    • Help your child learn to look at the problem or cause of stress in a wider perspective. Their first impulse may be to catastrophize the situation. Lead them to view the situation as a problem to be solved and an opportunity to learn. Guide your child to consider factors or aspects of the situation they may not have recognized on their own.
    • Let them know that there are some issues that are outside our control and others that we can do something about. When the issue is minor or fleeting, teach them ways to “let things go” like deep breathing and positive self-talk.
    • Guide your child to activities such as reading, art, or sports/exercise that can provide great outlets for stress and contribute to coping in a healthy way with challenges and difficulties.
    • Make sure your child has a good support system including both family and friends. Let them know they can always come to you to share whatever they are going through, whether positive or negative. Practice listening in an active, nonjudgmental way when your child does share.
    • Teach your child to practice gratitude for the good things in their life. This is best done by example so be willing to express your own gratitude out loud, at appropriate times.
    • Invest time with your child in volunteer activities. Helping others has many benefits to the one who is helping, including realizing a sense of responsibility to those less fortunate as well as helping to put one’s own challenges in a wider perspective.

    Most importantly, teach your child that remembering Allah SWT, making dhikr, du’a, and salat are essential means to cope in a healthy way with life’s ups and downs; and calling on Him, for young and old alike, is a valuable and powerful way to find peace of mind and heart.

  • Preparing Youth for Success in Life, Service, and Leadership

    Preparing Youth for Success in Life, Service, and Leadership

    Looking metaphorically at the phenomenon of the “butterfly effect,” wherein, theoretically, the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in Japan could cause a tornado in Texas, it is likewise conceivable that the humble efforts of a single youth could positively and dramatically change the world. Despite this plausible reality, oftentimes we hear youth saying, “I’m young, what can I do?” Instead, perhaps, they should say,” I’m young—with the help of Allah (SWT)—what can’t I do?”

    We must provide constructive programs and outlets for youth to come together, discuss common struggles and challenges, and through specific projects, make a positive contribution to their communities

    It appears that our youth are not aware of the substantial role played by young people in Islamic history. Prophet lbrahim, for example, was a young man who challenged the disbelievers and destroyed their idols; at the age of 10, Ali ibn Abi Talib was the first male to accept Islam; Umair ibn Abi Waqqas joined the Battle of Badr around the age of 15; and Aisha (RA), who became the wife of the Prophet, narrated many hadith and was a leader in her own right during her youth.

    Devaluing the Potential Contributions of Youth

    It’s not only youth that underestimate themselves, but community leaders underestimate them as well. Muslim community leaders must realize the vital importance of youth and view them as valuable resources, rather than spoiled youngsters with little to offer, requiring video games and constant entertainment/stimuli to hold their interest. In fact, youth is the

    stage of life during which individuals are most enthusiastic, energetic, creative, open to learning, and physically strong. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran, “Allah is He who created you of weakness, then He appointed after weakness strength, then after strength He appointed weakness and grey hair…” (Quran 30:54). It is in the best interest of our communities to re-evaluate the strength and value of our youth, contemplate the substantial contributions they can make, and do our best to prepare them for success, service, and leadership.

    Mass Media Seek to Indoctrinate Youth

    The general society unquestionably values youth as a commodity. In fact, society elites and predatory marketers and advertisers recognize the intrinsic value of youth and spend a great deal of time and money to manipulate and control their behavior and shape their identity.

    Youth are not just the future; they can, today, be the endowment of our commitment and their own, benefiting and improving their own lives and that of their families, but also that of ummah and society

    In an article, “How Disney Magic and the Corporate Media Shape Youth Identity in the Digital Age,” author Henry J. Giroux writes, “Youth are now assaulted by a never-ending proliferation of marketing strategies that colonize their consciousness and daily lives…[i]n what has become the most ‘consumer-oriented society in the world,’…. youth now inhabit a cultural landscape in which, increasingly, they can only recognize themselves in terms preferred by the market. Multi-billion-dollar media corporations, with a commanding role over commodity markets as well as support from the highest reaches of government, have become the primary educational and cultural force in shaping, if not hijacking, how youth define their interests, values and relations to others.” For this reason, community leaders and parents need to be active players in this struggle to influence the hearts and minds of youth.

    Exemplary Youth Inspire Peers to Strengthen Iman

    Without exemplary youth providing a good example and positive peer influence, Muslim youth are left hanging in the balance. Popular culture with all its many vices are a continuous temptation and distraction for youth, and Muslim youth do not live in a vacuum. If they are not provided positive Islamic experience and acculturation, they will be susceptible to any and all negative influences from non-Muslim friends, popular culture, mass media, and profit-motivated advertisers. Youth leaders, in conjunction with more mature individuals in their communities, are needed to reach out to the youth and provide constructive programs and outlets for youth to come together, discuss common struggles and challenges, and through specific projects, make a positive contribution to their communities. Also, within this climate of Islamophobia, youth need, more than ever, the inner strength that comes from adequate Islamic knowledge and personal confidence. They can then stand tall against those in society who feel justified in hating and criticizing them because of their association with Islam.

    Youth Disenfranchised from Our Communities

    Obviously, youth who are disenfranchised and disconnected from the masjid and Islamic community run a greater risk of becoming wandering invisible Muslims who discard their Islamic practice and potentially stop identifying as Muslim altogether. Muslim youth who are not at the masjid are also not in some empty room staring at the walls. No, they are busy somewhere doing something.

    The reasons for youth being absent from the masjids vary. A few years ago, at a sisters’ halaqa, I met some new sisters and began talking about the community needs, etc. During the conversation, one sister mentioned that there were some Muslim youth and adults who were attending churches because they “provided better programs and activities.” I thought I had “heard everything,” but this revelation was unexpected and, unfortunately, true. If a masjid becomes merely a place to hold the five daily prayers and jumah, then it really is not providing the essential services needed to sustain a healthy, vibrant community.

    Another reason youth don’t regularly visit the masjids is because they don’t feel they are stakeholders and haven’t been empowered to make a significant contribution. Youth have a lot to offer their communities. It is time for masjid boards to show confidence in their youth, invite the older youth and young adults to join the masjid board, and empower them to reach out to other youth and develop programs to benefit the youth and the community at large.

    In order to attract youth to the masjid, activities must be provided that are interesting and stimulating to them. Comprehensive programs for them are needed and can be developed gradually. However, initially attracting them can be accomplished by having youth organize and advertise youth sports tournaments with pizza parties and ice cream socials. After that, the youth themselves can recommend other programs that interest them and keep them active in the masjid.

    “It takes a Village”— Parent and Community Partnership

    Preparing youth to succeed in their lives, to contribute to society, and to take on leadership responsibilities, requires that they have a deeper understanding of Islam. After learning the basic beliefs, the five pillars, surahs from the Quran, a collection of hadith, and other requisite Islamic knowledge — they should then attempt to understand some deeper Islamic concepts. A deeper understanding of Islam is a blessing from Allah (SWT). The Prophet (pbuh) said, “When Allah wishes good for a person, He causes him to understand the religion” (Bukhari).

    Parents and communities should form a partnership to provide children and youth the requisite Islamic knowledge necessary to become dynamic and successful members of the community and society. The partnership includes combining resources and disseminating Islamic information and training through full time Islamic schools, Sunday schools, masjid halaqas for youth, as well as workshops, visiting lecturers, and parent-guided educational activities. Ultimately it is the parent’s role to manage the logistics of providing their children and youth knowledge and Islamic leadership training —but they can utilize both home resources and community resources to obtain the desired outcomes. Knowledge is the foundation of religious commitment, and central to Islamic success, and for leadership. Whether it is spiritual or academic, it is essential, and Allah (SWT) will Insha’Allah make the knowledge sought attainable. The prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever treads a path in seeking knowledge, Allah will make easy for him the path to Paradise” (Al-Tirmidhi).

    Helping Youth Understand Purpose and Meaning of Life

    Youth need to strive to better understand the purpose and meaning of life and how that relates to living as a Muslim and seeking to attain Paradise. Allah (SWT) tells us, “I created the jinn and humankind that they might worship Me” (Quran 51:56). Likewise, youth should be guided to contemplate the “test” of life. Allah (SWT) has taught that the creation of the heavens and the earth and of life and death is to test mankind. Allah (SWT) says, “And He it is Who has created the heavens and the earth in six Days and His Throne was over the water, that He might try which of you is the best in conduct. But if you were to say to them, ‘You shall indeed be raised up after death,’ those who disbelieve would be sure to say, ‘This is nothing but obvious magic.’” (Quran 11:7). Along the same lines, youth should also contemplate the meaning of true success in this world and realize that success is not measured by material possessions but by one’s good deeds and earning the pleasure of Allah (SWT). The deep study of Islam is a life-long endeavor, and both parents and the community should motivate youth to continuously expand their knowledge and understanding.

    Helping Youth Understand the Importance of Time

    Youth should realize time is one of the most precious resources on earth — and it is fleeting. A person can have all their worldly possessions taken from them, and spend many years working hard to replace what they lost. But time is one precious resource that can never be replaced. Every second that ticks away is gone forever. Surah Al-Asr should be studied and understood as it relates to life and the value of time. Allah (SWT) says, “By time, verily man is in loss, except such as have faith, and do righteous deeds, and [join together] in the mutual teaching of truth, and of patience and constancy” (Quran 103:1-3).

    There are certain major time wasters that should be cautioned against and avoided in order to better value time. Activities like spending hour after hour watching TV, playing video games, or being glued to a smart phone on social media can be detrimental, if not done in moderation and after other, more important activities have been fulfilled. Let’s say some youth spent six hours a day combining TV, video games, and social media. Doing the math, we calculate that they are spending 2,190 hours or nearly three full months over the period of a year. This is a startling figure. There are so many better ways to spend one’s time which could truly bring benefit such as reading and memorizing Quran, attending a halaqa, participating in sports-centered recreational activities with fellow Muslims, cleaning the masjid, and studying and increasing one’s knowledge. The Prophet (pbuh) has said, “Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth before you become old; your health before you fall sick; your wealth before you become poor; your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death” (Al Hakim and Musnad Ahmad).

    Helping Youth Prepare Academically and Intellectually

    Academics are an important part of training youth, and striving for excellence is one of the qualities of a good Muslim, contributing member of society, and leader. With regard to academics, youth should be life-long learners and always strive for excellence in their studies. They should be conscientious towards their school work, and when necessary, seek out the help of tutors to help them master challenging subject matter. By being an exemplary student, a Muslim improves the image of Muslims in society, and that is a form of indirect dawah. Regardless of whether they attend an Islamic school, public school, or college, they should have good character and lead by example. In addition, if students are focusing on beneficial activities like studying in their free time, then they should have no trouble excelling in school and becoming adequately prepared for any field of employment. This spirit of striving for excellence is a practice that is essential to all personal endeavors, family life, career, civic participation, and, of course, religious practice.

    Helping Youth Prepare Physically

    Overall heath is an important aspect of helping youth prepare for a successful life, for dedication to activism and contribution, and for leadership. The Prophet (pbuh) encouraged certain physical fitness activities like swimming, archery, and horseback riding. So in general, a variety of sports and fitness activities including joining a sports team and regular exercise could be beneficial in keeping oneself healthy and active. A highly recommended activity conducted by some Muslim communities is organizing children and youth competitive flag football and soccer leagues which is beneficial both socially and physically. In addition, it is important to teach youth to eat healthy from a young age. If a child or youth has a weight problem, then parents can take a more active role by not bringing unhealthy foods into the home, and not only modeling and encouraging healthy eating, but also providing an adequate amount of physical fitness activities for their child or youth.

    Helping Youth Choose Friends Wisely and Practice Kindness and Inclusiveness

    Peer pressure is very powerful, and negative peer pressure can lead our youth down the wrong paths. The prophet (pbuh) has said, “The comparison of a good friend and a bad friend is like a perfume seller and a blacksmith. The perfume seller will give you the gift of perfume or you can enjoy its fragrance. The blacksmith will either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his bad smell” (Bukhari and Muslim). The best of youth are leaders, not followers, and they are very careful of the company they keep. The Prophet (pbuh) was asked, “Which of our companions are best?” He replied, “One whose appearance reminds you of Allah, and whose speech increases you in knowledge, and whose actions remind you of the hereafter.”

    In addition, youth should understand the importance of inclusiveness and kindness towards all others including those who are new in the community or of different races or backgrounds. Youth should also be reminded to offer salaams, especially to those who are new, and find ways to focus on similarities rather than differences with those whom they are unfamiliar.

    Helping Youth Prepare for Service and Activism

    The best way to prepare our youth for service and activism is to, ourselves, be committed to service and activism. This starts with a frequent presence at the masjid, conveying that the masjid is our second home. We set the example by always looking for ways to improve things, to organize, to keep the masjid clean. And we approach this with an attitude of taking initiative, not waiting for someone to ask us to do something, but doing so for the sake of Allah (SWT).

    Being balanced and committed Muslims who not only serve the Muslim community, but the greater community at large, helps prepare our youth, through example, for service and activism. We have to engage with the greater community and strive to include our youth in these activities, like volunteering at soup kitchens, visiting with seniors at senior citizen homes, and participating in dawah activities to convey better understanding of Islam to the general public.

    Helping Youth Realize that Their Best Role Model is Prophet Muhammad (p)

    It is human nature to be enchanted with heroes and winners. The unfortunate reality is that some Muslim youth know more about the lives of sports stars and celebrities than our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). We have to help our youth realize that there is no better role model than Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Our Prophet was a mercy for humankind, and the best example of human maturity, fairness, caring, and spiritual success; and his message and example is available for posterity.

    By doing all we can to help our youth prepare for success, for service, and for leadership, we fulfill our responsibilities as parents and active community members. Youth are not just the future; they can, today, be the endowment of our commitment and their own, benefiting and improving their own lives and that of their families, but also that of their communities, the ummah, and society at large.

  • A Day Trip to the Kaaba: The Ultimate Privilege and an Absolute Blessing

    A Day Trip to the Kaaba: The Ultimate Privilege and an Absolute Blessing

    At seven in the morning I would step out of my house into glorious sunshine and board the bus with my neighbours, who were also my colleagues, my friends, and my newly adopted family. In a state of Ihram and donned in two pieces of white cloth, the men would take the front of the bus. The women would be armed with their prayer beads and supplies of breakfast snacks as we yet again shared our overwhelming awe of being absorbed in the present moment: a day trip to the glorious Kaaba.

    We were a group of British and South African teachers living out an adventure in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The reasons to emigrate were many, but the common thread was our desire to be within close proximity to our spiritual home. The frustrations and stresses of working within a Saudi system paled in comparison to standing in front of the Kaaba, or in front of the beloved Prophet Muhammed’s (peace be upon him) grave and amongst thousands of worshippers who shared the same desire and passion to immerse themselves in contemplation of the oneness of God — escaping from the earthly world and into the ephemeral where the human heart can find complete rest and tranquillity.

    Words cannot convey the immensity of gratitude that ran through me each time I visited the two holy cities. Inevitably, large crowds of worshippers brought with them many challenges that had to be overcome; patience, respect, and understanding were all part of the process in ensuring that the full benefits of the Umrah trips were gained. However, during periods when international visas were closed, uninterrupted meditations were an absolute blessing. I would place my hands on the wall of the Kaaba fully absorbed in the moment. Deep in heartfelt prayers, I had the privileged opportunity to pray for all of humanity. From my late father who passed away prematurely from pancreatic cancer to the stranger who laboured endlessly to fund his child’s education, I asked Allah to grant them all peace in this world and the hereafter.

    Medina was a more relaxed experience compared to Mecca, and during the periods of closed visas, it offered an even more incredible opportunity to feel the love of the beloved prophet (pbuh). Through the blessings of Allah, I could sit close to the Prophet’s grave, taking my time in offering the two rakats of prayer and simply absorbing the immense strength of spirituality that seemed to have a unique and powerful vibe exclusively reserved for the city of Medina.

    My one year stay in Jeddah was an eclectic mix of experiences. Frustration, anger, and disappointment was balanced out with inspiring nature and beautiful friendships. But my greatest motivation was always my deep desire to be spiritually moved, to be fully absorbed into a world of prayer where only God exists. Mecca and Medina fulfilled this desire, and as I sit in my home in the UK watching the autumn change into winter, I cannot express enough gratitude for the blessings of having said time and time again, “Let’s go for a day trip to the Kaaba!”

    It is narrated on the authority of the amir al-muminin (leader of the believers), Abu Hafs Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him), who said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), say, ‘Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended. Whoever migrates with an intention for Allah and His messenger, the migration will be for the sake of Allah and his Messenger. And whoever migrates for worldly gain or to marry a woman, then his migration will be for the sake of whatever he migrated for’” (Bukhari and Muslim).

  • Muslim Youth: Developing Leaders for Today and Tomorrow

    Muslim Youth: Developing Leaders for Today and Tomorrow

    “The youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow.” This concept has been drilled into our heads. Both in Islamic contexts and elsewhere, we hear about youth potential and how one day they will be leaders of society. While experience and maturity is important, the role of Muslim youth is not to sit back and wait for the future to arrive. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, told all Muslims that when we see something wrong, we should first change it with our hands. If we cannot change it with our hands, then change it with our tongues, by speaking up, and if we cannot do that, then at the very least we must recognize that evil and in our hearts, support changing the situation.

    Young Muslims presents and stresses core concepts of Islamic character and leadership, helping youth deepen their understanding of Islam and implement virtuous traits crucial to their success

    Muslim youth in America face challenges that can stifle their potential. One of the biggest challenges is the lack of necessary Islamic knowledge. Oftentimes Muslim youth in America are taught only the basics of their faith and sometimes not even that. They typically learn how to read and write Arabic without learning the meaning. It is no mystery why many young Muslims are not confident in their faith. Many do not understand Arabic enough to understand the Quran for themselves. Their own holy book can seem strange and foreign. If they want to truly understand their faith, they must go out of their way to seek Islamic knowledge.

    Another hurdle for Muslim youth in America is the lack of support in Muslim communities. Mosques sometimes feel to young people like a place of judgment and close-minded attitudes. Mosques are meant to be community centers where anyone can find help and support. Sadly, youth find that the issues they deal with are considered by adults to be too taboo or uncomfortable to discuss amongst Muslims. Youth end up turning to other sources for guidance, whether peers, social media gurus, or non-Muslim teachers or advisers. Their advice, while often well-intended, may contradict Islamic principles. Who can blame youth for taking that advice when Muslim mentors aren’t available to give them credible information and guidance suitable for young Muslims?

    Muslim youth are also constantly surrounded by vulgarity in pop culture. Every day they are exposed to music, movies, TV shows, and media filled with obscene messages. Living in a culture where modesty is rejected and “doing whatever you want” is celebrated can drain anyone, especially young people who are still building identities and figuring out their boundaries. Young Muslims in America are in a constant struggle between being accepted by society and firmly adhering to their faith. It is easier to follow the crowd and gain acceptance than to reject societal norms and risk being an outcast.

    Despite the challenges, Muslim American youth are part of history in the making. Being a Muslim in America today means you are contributing to the ever-changing portrait of Islam in America. Whether through standing up and driving change, or staying silent and allowing politicians, journalists, or even Islamophobes to speak for them, Muslim youth affect the image of Islam in America every day. The passion and energy of youth is an incredible asset. Young people can accomplish amazing feats in life when their efforts are channeled correctly. Some of the most esteemed companions of the Prophet (pbuh) gained respect and leadership positions at a young age. They used their passion and youth to help their communities grow and prosper. Their age did not limit them, instead their youth helped them further contribute to society. In order for Muslim youth to succeed as they have in the past, they must be given the proper tools.

    Safe spaces are crucial for developing dynamic youth. Muslim youth need to be in an environment where good deeds and good character are celebrated, somewhere they can to turn to receive wholesome Islamic advice without being looked down upon for their flaws. Being around people who encourage good deeds and discourage bad is a positive form of peer pressure that builds confidence and strength of character. Communities can implement this by encouraging youth to participate in community affairs, providing space to grow and learn from fellow community members while contributing to discussions and activism with their unique perspectives.

    Young Muslims, a division of ICNA, connects Muslim youth throughout America. This grassroots organization provides the tools youth need to grow and develop. YM presents and stresses core concepts of Islamic character and leadership, helping youth deepen their understanding of Islam and implement virtuous traits crucial to their success. Through weekly meetings, YM gives youth the opportunity to explore their faith and build bonds of companionship that last a lifetime. Organizations like YM give Muslim youth the tools they need to become the leaders of today and tomorrow.

  • Want Your Child to Grow in Confidence, Maturity, and Responsibility?

    Want Your Child to Grow in Confidence, Maturity, and Responsibility?

    Want Your Child to Grow in Confidence, Maturity, and Responsibility?

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “Make [things] easy, not difficult…” (Bukhari). He (pbuh) also said, “Woe to those who exaggerate [who are too strict]!”(Bukhari). He (pbuh) also said: “Moderation, moderation! For only with moderation will you succeed” (Muslim).

    Authoritarian Parenting
    • Parents’ role comes across to the children as despotic (absolute and dictatorial power over the child)
    • Strict rules and expectations which tend to be rigid and inflexible
    • Children are expected to be unconditionally obedient and unquestioning of parental demands
    • Parents feel it is their right to be respected by the child regardless of their own behavior; little or no consideration is given to the right of the child to be respected by the parent
    • High expectations are placed on children regarding their performance academically and in reaching any other goals set in place by parents
    • Little warmth or nurturing is expressed by the parents
    • Punishments are meted out with little or no explanation; with the aim of making the child “pay” for his/her mistake or non-compliance; punishments can be harsh, unrelated to the infraction, and inconsistent
    • Children are not given choices or options; complete control is exercised over the child
    Permissive Parenting
    • Parents often seem more like a friend than a parent
    • Few rules or standards of behavior are put in place and when there are rules, they are often very inconsistent
    • Bribery with toys, gifts, and food are used as a means to get child to behave
    • Abundant love and nurturing of the children is expressed without the balance of discipline
    • Few expectations are placed on children with regard to academic performance or other goals
    Authoritative Parenting

    Authoritarian and permissive parenting styles are seen as being opposite extremes. In between the two is the authoritative parenting style.

    So don’t use an authoritarian or permissive parenting style — choose Authoritative Parenting

    • Parent comes across to the children as role model, teacher, and guide
    • Rules are established and limits are put in place; expectations about children’s behavior and goals are expressed and discussed; flexibility and willingness to make adjustments are utilized as needed or appropriate
    • Children are expected to be obedient but parents are willing to listen to the children and allow their expression of opinion as a way to encourage good communication skills, independence, responsibility, and self-direction
    • Parents feel it is their right to be respected by the child but also believe that the respect must be deserved based on their own proper and fair behavior toward the child; equal consideration is given to the right of the child to be respected by the parents
    • High expectations are placed on children regarding their performance academically and in reaching any other goals set in place by parents, often in collaboration with the child
    • Warmth, caring, and nurturance are freely and frequently expressed
    • Consequences are used as a means to teach greater self-discipline and responsibility rather than as a rote punishment of the child; parents administer fair and consistent discipline and are willing to explain the natural connection between the infraction and the consequence
    • Children are encouraged to discuss options, make choices, and develop the capacity for decision-making and self-regulation in daily living

    Contributed by LivingEman.com

  • Labeling Children as Learning-Disabled: Offsetting the Potential Harm

    Labeling Children as Learning-Disabled: Offsetting the Potential Harm

    According to the Twenty-Ninth Annual Report to Congress by the U.S. Department of Education in 2010, as many as one out of five people in the U.S. has a learning disability, and roughly one million children receive special education in school. While it is good that children with learning disabilities are getting the specific services they need, there is also potential harm done by labeling children as learning-disabled, behaviorally-challenged, and so on; and this is an issue that parents and teachers should take seriously. The dangers of labeling go both ways: a perceived negative label such as “learning disabled” often sets a child up for academic failure and social rejection. A seemingly positive label such as “gifted” can make a child feel pressured to live up to that image and if they don’t, to feel like a failure. However, we live in a world in which labeling is, for now, inevitable and we have to find ways to offset any potential harm.

    Naming or characterizing abilities or disabilities allows a parent or teacher to utilize the right approaches in teaching and accommodating learning disabilities or handling disruptive and challenging behaviors. The problem with “naming” psychological, biochemical, and/or behavioral conditions is that the lines are often blurred as to the source of the symptoms. For example, the DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) is alarmed that since the 1990s, Ritalin prescriptions have increased 500 percent. What in the past was seen as a child with high energy or disruptive behavior is now looked upon as a medical condition needing a pharmaceutical treatment. While there are some children who might genuinely have a biochemical imbalance, it seems certain that many more children are being treated with drugs because they exhibit behavioral issues that are a challenge in the family and the classroom and it is all too easy to drug the child rather than take the time and exert the energy to successfully address and effectively handle the challenging behaviors.

    A very interesting study was done that has far-reaching implications. Mothers of children diagnosed with ADHD were given mindfulness training. This training included: (a) contemplative and concentration exercises; (b) behavioral practices such as loving-kindness, compassion, and generosity; (c) cognitive strategies such as reflection on the transitory nature of events and circumstances; and (d) empathy practices that help a person “walk in another’s shoes.” The training provided to mothers did bring about improved behavior in the children. When the children were also provided the training, behavioral improvements were even more pronounced and some were able to be taken off their medication. This study appears to support the idea that if parents and teachers take the time and have the intention to look beyond the surface of the behavioral problem into the worth of the child — to do whatever it takes to assist him or her to find a more effective mode of coping, behaving, and responding to the world — that beneficial outcomes are possible.

    Contributed by LivingEman.com

  • Your Child is Being Bullied: What Should You Do?

    Your Child is Being Bullied: What Should You Do?

    Bullying happens too often in schools, both in public and Islamic schools, and parents often don’t know what to do to help their child when he or she is a victim of bullying. When a parent becomes aware that their child is being bullied, it’s very important to address the issue immediately in order to avoid the negative effects of bullying. Those negative effects can impact their development, and diminish their confidence, security, and sense of self-worth.

    Studies in the past have shown that children who are subjected to bullying are likely to have problems in various other aspects of their lives. In addition to feeling unsafe, the child who is subjected to bullying feels the misery of social rejection. This can lead to poor academic performance and other more serious problems as the child gets older. Wanting to feel accepted and liked by his or her peers is extremely important to a child. Yet some children simply lack the social skills that allow them to navigate their way successfully on the playground, in groups of children playing together, or in any casual interaction with peers whether in the classroom, in the hallway, or during lunch at the cafeteria.

    For all children, the younger ones as well as older youth, it is also very important to make sure that they have some basic guidelines as to how to respond when bullying does occur. There is a nonprofit organization that provides very practical steps that you can teach your child in this regard. Their website is www.kidpower.org. The guidelines are available at: kidpower.org/library/article/prevent-bullying/.

    In all cases, make sure that you are supportive of your child and that he or she knows they can tell you anytime about what is going on at school and anything they are having difficulty with. Never convey the idea to your child that he should ignore the bullying or that she is somehow to blame. Make sure he knows that bullying is wrong and that it is not his fault. Share with your child the Islamic teachings about mocking others, calling them names, or talking badly about other people. You can read with your child Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 11, and discuss the meaning on an age-appropriate level.

    When your child is bullied, gently try to get him or her to talk about the bullying so that you can elicit information and details about when, where, and how it happens. Talk to your child’s teacher and, if necessary, the school principal and let them know that you want to work with them to ensure that your child does not continue to be subjected to bullying.

    Most importantly, make sure that your home is a place where your child feels safe and secure, physically as well as emotionally. Your child should always feel that he/she can openly and honestly communicate with you. Let your child know that together you can solve any problem or handle any challenge, and that with patience and perseverance the solution will be found.

    Contributed by LivingEman.com

  • Islamic Resource Center – Interview with Janan Najeeb

    Islamic Resource Center – Interview with Janan Najeeb

    Janan Najeeb is a speaker, educator, business leader, activist, mother, and the force and founder behind a unique non-profit, the Islamic Resource Center (IRC) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The lending library which allows patrons to borrow Islamic books, is the first of its kind in Wisconsin and was established in 2010. It is thought to be the first one in the United States that serves youth as well as adults in the same vein of a public library. Beyond books, the resource center serves as a meeting place for many social and educational activities.

    The IRC is the brainchild of the Milwaukee Muslim Women’s Coalition (MMWC) founded in 1994 by Najeeb, along with a group of professional Muslim women. The organization’s board is made up of highly respected doctors and educators, all women, and the mission statement encapsulates the ideas of these forward-thinking individuals: “To empower Muslim women by providing them with the skills and training necessary for self advocacy, leadership and economic security. To advocate for Islam and Muslims by promoting an accurate understanding of the faith, to encourage dialogue amongst all people, to protect civil liberties and to build relationships and coalitions that work for justice, harmony, peace and understanding.” Najeeb, a mother of five, has received several awards for her activism in Wisconsin from the State, CAIR, and the ACLU. She is also the first Muslim to lead the prayer at the Wisconsin State Assembly.

    The following is a Q&A with Janan Najeeb, the President of the MMWC, about the resource center.

    Was the resource center an initiative of the masjid or a separate committee/group?

    The MMWC runs the IRC. We are independent of the masjid and have our own 501c3. However, we have close ties with the main Masjid (Islamic Society of Milwaukee) in Milwaukee and with the full time Islamic School, Salam School. They are a few miles away from us. Most of the board members attend the main Masjid for Jumu’ah and other events.

    How many people does the center serve?

    In 2015, we had nearly 5000 visitors. More than half of these are individuals that are not Muslim.

    So it is open to Muslims and non-Muslims?

    Yes, definitely. That was the main intent of the endeavor, to create a library and Islamic cultural center that is transparent and welcoming for everyone.

    What are some of the programs that you offer at the library besides the summer reading program?

    We have book clubs; the majority of participants are not Muslim. We have monthly networking brunches on many topics. This month we will be bringing in speakers from Voces de la Frontera, a Latino immigrant rights organization. We have a monthly “So How’s It Going” dinner for reverts, a tafsir group for men and a tafsir group for women, and Arabic classes for middle school, high school, and adults taught by university staff. We host films and discussions at a monthly family film night. We have Islamic poetry/spoken-word slams for college students and young adults, host author talks, and we host a wide range of workshops, for teachers, social workers, students, etc.

    We have a number of professors from several universities that bring their students every semester to attend a panel discussion or a book discussion. We also are one of the designated sites for foreign guests of the State Department that come to Milwaukee. We have been the hosts of high school students from Northern Ireland, Yemeni imams, female leaders of NGOs, and Muslim journalists. They consider us unique in the country because we are an educational and outreach organization lead by professional Muslim women and we are highly sought after as speakers. We are a monthly meeting site for one of the main interfaith organizations in Milwaukee, and we co-host the Muslim-Catholic Leaders dialogue. We have hosted a number of art exhibitions, youth leadership trainings, and presentations on important social justice issues.

    How did you collect the books? What types of books do you have? Do you have anything else besides books in the library? Media sources? Computers, etc.?

    The library currently has about 2800 books, DVDs, CDs, and magazines for loan, just like a public library, but all devoted to Islamic topics. We add new resources every week. We also have two computers for public use. We have a wide variety of resources covering every possible subject including children’s books, theology, Muslim women, hadith, fiqh, Islamic art, interfaith relations, marriage guides, African American Muslims, etc. People get a library card like any public library and they can check out books and resources. They also pay fines for overdue material. We have a professional librarian on staff and we research books from the many Islamic book publishers and book stores and a wide number of others that are not Muslim but print quality material including places like Oxford press and Fons Vitae. It is important to us that we carry quality material with quality writing and printing. We feel there is no reason we should not be a professional first rate facility.

    We have a small café that sells cold drinks, coffee, tea and snacks. We also have a small bookstore that sells books, Islamic gifts, cards, prayer rugs, etc., and we have Islamic art exhibited throughout the center.

    Who supports the library?

    The library is completely sustained by donations. We purchase material as we get donations, and what better sadaqat jariyah [ongoing charity] than a library that promotes knowledge and understanding for Muslims and those of other faiths as well?

    Is this a program that could be duplicated elsewhere?

    The most important ingredients for the success of this endeavor are regular dua, tireless commitment, and an absolute insistence on professionalism in every aspect of the project. When Imam Zaid Shakir visited last year during his 50 city tour, he stated that this was one of the most unique endeavors he encountered and he said every single city with a sizable Muslim population should replicate it. You can watch his video on our website.

    How has the greater community (non-Muslim) taken to this library?

    Wonderful response! Universities send us students to intern for the semester and to conduct research using our unique book collection. We are one of the main “go-to resources” for the media, and more than 50 percent of our patrons are not Muslim. The many Masjids send those that call looking for resources to us. Many teachers, particularly non-Muslim elementary school teachers, come in to choose books, particularly children’s story books, to share with their classes during Ramadan. Muslims often refer their colleagues, neighbors, and friends when they are faced with questions they can’t answer or they want to provide resources. And we have people that are just passing by stop in. Since we are not a Masjid and we are a library, the public feels comfortable coming in. Some of our top volunteers are not Muslim! Our numbers grow every year, and at least one third of the attendees at our annual fundraising dinner are not Muslim. I think that says a lot.

    Do you have plans to expand the library?

    Insha’Allah, as we acquire donations we continue to expand.

    Do you have a relationship with the public libraries?

    Yes. Our librarian is often contacted by public libraries for suggestions, particularly regarding Islamic children’s books. She has created a list based on the books that are checked out the most by children.

    How many subscribe to the library?

    According to the librarian, we have nearly 500 regular library subscribers, this number increases every month. Many others come and read or research at the center.

    Is there anything else that you want to say about the library or your community?

    Before starting this project, I remember touring many cities across the U.S. I was looking for great examples of an Islamic library that I could get ideas from. Most often, what I found was Islamic bookstores that looked like they belonged in a third world country rather than here in the U.S. I found that very distressing and unacceptable. In addition, there did not seem to be too much concern for professional quality, some of the books had very poor grammar and the printing was uneven and printed on cheap paper. In addition, some of the material was, in my opinion, counterproductive to promoting understanding. So rather than finding a model Islamic library, what I acquired was a list of “what not to do.”

    Having an Islamic library and resource center is crucial not only for the general public but also for Muslim children who don’t see characters that look like them, and participating in activities familiar to them, in the books they read in public libraries or their public schools. You can just see the joy on the faces of the children when they open these books for the first time.

    Also, this is a very important resource for reverts that need access to accurate information, as there are many that get erroneous information from Muslims who base their understanding on culture, and the library provides them with solid resources. You will be amazed how many Muslim families do not have any Islamic book collection at home; where are these families and children going to get their information? YouTube videos will never replace a good book! We are always looking to expand our library and we welcome financial donations.

    For more information, visit www.irconline.info. Also see mmwconline.org/ for information on the founding organization, Milwaukee Muslim Women’s Coalition.