A few years ago, I was sitting with a friend chatting just before the start of Ramadan, Islam’s holy month of fasting. Just as I was about to launch into what I would be preparing for suhoor, the pre-dawn meal, and for iftar when we break our fast in the evening, my friend, a born Muslim, said something very unexpected about the coming fast.
“I’m dreading it.”
I remember being a little thrown by her comment, then immediately confused and, ultimately, a bit sad. However, I didn’t make a harsh judgment about her; instead, I listened to how she felt, particularly about her experience fasting as a young mother of two small boys and considering the challenges she faced fighting fatigue while minding and keeping up with her very energetic sons.
I also empathized with her. After all, at the time all three of my children were in school, and I worried how their grades would fare as they struggled through hunger, thirst, the occasional headache, and with simply being tired. In other words, we may all have some small sense of dread as we enter into a month that – let’s face it – shifts much of our schedule and can leave us feeling unmoored from our normal day-to-day lives as we navigate extra-early mornings, busy afternoons preparing food, and evenings spent eating and then rushing to the mosque for taraweeh evening prayers.
All of our challenges in Ramadan are, of course, meant to be taken as blessings, and I believe most Muslims see them this way and offer thanks and praises to Allah (SWT) for every day we overcome hardship and successfully fast from food, water, and intimate relations for the primary purpose of living in obedience to Allah (SWT) and striving to be in a state of taqwa, or God consciousness.
As Allah said in the Quran, “Believers are enjoined to fast, as were those before them, to become God-fearing.” (2:183)
Since that conversation, I’ve often recalled my friend’s comment and, even though it demonstrated her negative mindset as she headed into Ramadan, nevertheless it’s helped me to remember how monumental the act of fasting during Ramadan is, a thought I’ve had numerous times since my conversion nearly 20 years ago, praise God!
While I certainly recognize there are scores of born Muslims who deeply understand and appreciate the significance of fasting in Ramadan and what it means for our faith as well as feel deeply connected to the practice – it is, after all, one of the five pillars of Islam – let me explain what I, a convert, mean when I describe it as monumental.
Like many converts, when I first learned what Ramadan is and how it’s practiced, I was astounded. I couldn’t believe anyone would voluntarily deny themselves food and water all day for an entire month! After all, I didn’t grow up seeing any of my family, friends, or community members fasting in any form or fashion. Even those of us who grew up in or were familiar with the Catholic faith have seen the 40-day Lenten season watered down from a fast similar to that of Muslims’ to most of the religion’s followers only abstaining from one type of food or activity during Lent. What’s more, others only forgo meat on Fridays. In other words, I’m not sure many born Muslims can truly understand how much of a shift it is for a convert to fast in Ramadan when most of us had no concept or example of it growing up.
However, I don’t point this out to toot my own horn – I’m not – or to imply the fasts of converts are more difficult – they’re not; I say this to impress on my born Muslim brothers and sisters the absolute gratefulness I feel that Ramadan is such an important part of Islam. Because, trust me, if fasting weren’t part and parcel of our faith, I guarantee I wouldn’t do it, and I would surely be the loser as a result.
What’s more, when I think of all the spiritual benefits and blessings of fasting, it fills my heart with even more love for my adopted faith. Consider what Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said. “Verily, there is a gate in paradise called al-Rayyan, through which only those who fasted will enter on the Day of Resurrection. No one else will enter it along with them. It will be said: Where are those who fasted? They will stand and no one will enter it along with them. When they enter it, it will be closed and no one else will go through it. (Sahih al-Bukhari 1896)
This hadith describes for us Muslims the special standing those of us who fast will have when we meet our Lord. Our acts us discipline, self-control, and restraint, undertaken for the primary purpose of obedience to Allah (SWT) and to grow in piety and consciousness of Him, are ones I fear I surely would not have undertaken without the beautiful pillar of fasting.
I am forever tremendously thankful fasting has been prescribed for us Muslims as it was for those of other Abrahamic faiths before us, and I pray that I and all Muslims will embrace this commandment and appreciate it for the profound mercy that it is.
And as for my friend who suffered a moment of human weakness heading into Ramadan all those years ago, I pray she walks into this next Ramadan with excited anticipation and never again feels a moment of dread for this most sacred and holy month that we all hope to experience again and again, God willing.
Make a conscious decision to do more good acts, in whatever capacity, whether it be globally, locally, or personally, but just do more good. Pick up debris from the road. Carry someone’s load for them. Give someone struggling in any way a little helping hand. Even a smile is an act of good, if intended to spread positivity and please our Lord. Refrain from responding to someone or something negative with vitriol. If your goal is set on something more long-term, with a higher bar set, such as beginning tadabbur ul-Qur’an (study for a deep understanding of the meaning of Qur’an), even your search for suitable classes/teachers begins the good deed counter. A small daily habit established now can become a giant in the long run. Every journey, every huge feat, every life-changing win starts from a small initial move.
Truly a month of miracles, Ramadan comes and beautifully fills our voids that no one else is even aware of, sometimes not even known to ourselves. Our souls know something is off before we can identify and name it. It comes and masterfully, through various channels, whether it be taraweeh prayer or simply through patiently enduring pangs of hunger, clears our vision so we can focus more sharply on the meaningfulness and purpose of our lives. It has been rebooting the personal system of each observant Muslim for over 14 centuries and will do so to the end of time.
